Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Vencie Says: Philip Rivers Crushes, Playoffs and the Abomination of Cromartie


Stellar show this last Sunday following the destruction of the Titans on Christmas Night. What did Vencie Glenn, et. al. have to say? Let us proceed...
On Philip Rivers:

"He has become the Michael Jordan of this football team. He carries this football team, and he has done an excellent job of taking over this team, putting it on his shoulders.....and they ride on Philip Rivers."
I too have a man crush on Philip Rivers. On account of the love that Vencie Glenn expresses each week towards #17, I do not feel like less of a man for it. Thank you Vencie.

On Resting Players Against The 'Skins:
"I just like everybody playing. I don't have a problem taking out your starters, maybe the second quarter, something, just to give them a little freshness, keep them sharp, but sitting out the whole game? I don't believe in that."
Agreed. Get the guys two quarters to keep game sharpness, timing, and most importantly, the Sunday body clock in tune. Rest guys who have been battling injuries (i.e. Shawne Merriman).

On Fearing Particular Teams In The Playoffs:
"You've got to be cautious of EVERYBODY once the playoffs start"
I agree with this assessment but 'to be the best' you 'have to beat the best'. However, I am weary of the Steelers because they seem to have our number the last couple of years so I'd prefer to not see their elimination from playoff contention. Other than that, bring on the Pats in the Divisional round and the Colts in the AFCCG. That would be the test of all tests.

On Which Player Has Been The Biggest Surprise:
"Philip Rivers is the guy that I think is the most improved. I just think his decision making, the way he spreads the ball, how he's taken control of this offense, and his accuracy is just amazing as a defensive man (speaking of himself)."
I can't say I'm entirely surprised by Philip Rivers as it has been demonstrated week in and week out that he has been anointed as God's quarterback. So no surprise there. I would go with the defensive line play and Brandon Dombrowski on the O-line. I was tearing them apart during week 8 but they've gelled over the past two months. Me likes their improvement and find myself surprised weekly.

What Is The Deal With Cromartie?

At this point there was hysterical laughter by the panel as they knew it was a topic Vencie would relish the opportunity to opine. SI's Jim Trotter even suggested that it was not a viewer question, but instead, a question planted by Vencie Glenn. Here is the direct text of the viewer e-mail question followed by Vencie's response:


"I've been sayin' this all year. I'm glad some people people watch film the way I watch it. It's a shame that one guy out out of Ten (11?) just does not want to be physical. THIS is the National Football League. You sign up for contact. He does not EVEN want to touch anybody. I just can't believe the defensive coordinator just let's him get away with it."
Jim Trotter expressed his opinion on Cromartie more diplomatically by essentially saying that Cro' is what he is and you can't make him something he's not, this probably being the best way to assess Cromartie. We'll never get a guy who plays a physical brand of football because it's not part of his own self image. Cro' views himself as Deion Sanders not as a Quentin Jammer or Pat Fischer. My personal opinion on the way Cromartie plays: a complete embarrassment for someone who calls himself a professional football player. Unfortunately there are many others just like him.


I felt the need to add in some additional Jim Trotter commentary because his analysis is sound and he's also good at intelligently 'taking the piss' out of somebody.....in this case Josh McDaniels and the Denver Broncos.

Jim Trotter On Josh McDaniels:
"I think it's a guy who came in, and in my opinion, thought he had all the answers early when they started 6-0, and now he's finding out that the NFL is a lot tougher than that....and we'll see you next year Josh."
This was better live because JT was really punking McDaniels when he said "...and we'll see you next year Josh." It was pretty funny....and I laughed.

Jim Trotter On The Broncos' Playoff Hopes:
"Don't you feel bad for Denver? 6-0. Now they're probably out of the playoffs. Geez, I feel terrible for 'em"
Once again video does more justice as JT rolled his eyes when talking about feeling bad for the Broncos.

Until next week's edition of Sunday Night Football in San Diego, 'Vencie Says', bids you farewell.

Always remember: Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor Does Avenging Jack Murphy.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Degrees of Crazy in America's Finest City

After the first drive against the Titans on Christmas night ended on a failed 3rd down conversion attempt, Philip Rivers trotted off the field where he and Norv Turner began to discuss what went wrong. I vividly recall thinking to myself: wow, that's the most heated I've seen Philip and Norv.

Fast forward to yesterday's press conference where Norv addressed the incident. Kevin Acee tweeted one quote and I thought it was one of the funniest lines ever dropped by Norv. In fact I think it's the funniest thing Norv will EVER say. Norv Turner on he and Philip Rivers talking animatedly on the sideline:

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Let's Play: 'The 2009 Chargers in a Word'


When Chargers beat writer Kevin Acee appeared on XX1090 with Darren Smith on Monday, the following question was proposed:

Darren Smith
: Gimme one word to describe the Chargers.......I know you're a word smith and you have to write these 1000 piece essays but.....one word.....
Kevin Acee
: You interrupted me.....Resilient
DS:
That's my word
KA:
Oh was it your word?......I don't know!......I don't listen to you!......I listen to Hacksaw, Dude.
DS:
You're only human

HaHaHa.... "I listen to Hacksaw, Dude."

That was funny but we're not here for funny we're here to talk Bolts. If you are so inclined go ahead and listen to the Podcast for more insights on the Chargers play over the last few weeks as well as a preview to the Christmas Carnage scheduled for Friday night. Right now though, it's time for: 'The Chargers in a Word'.

It's difficult to disagree with the word resilient being attached to this squad. The number of injuries that have occurred since week 1 in Oakland are frankly, retarded. 'No-names' have filled in admirably and become 'somebodies' in the eyes of Charger fans and that folks is long hand for: R-E-S-I-L-I-E-N-T.

I don't know that this team is defined by its resilient nature however. When I think of the 2009 Chargers I think of Philip Rivers calmly controlling his offense and marching them down the field in times of dire need. If I could describe this team with just one word, personified by the play of Philip Rivers, there's little doubt in this fan's mind as to what it would be: Phlegmatic.

Phlegmatic
. That's right......phlegmatic.

Editor's Note:
Do not confuse my use of the word phlegmatic as tacit endorsement of The Four Temperaments school of psychology which stems from the ancient medical concept of Humorism. I believe that this interpretation of the word would be more of a discredit to Philip Rivers and myself...... as I do not believe in Humorism and Philip Rivers is AWESOME!

Bolts v Titans: Baby Jesus' Birthday Edition



Everyone remembers the battles of 2007 between San Diego and Tennessee; physical, hard hitting affairs. The UT's Tim Sullivan recounted the discord, yesterday (or maybe the day before):

Pro football never was a dainty business. To watch it on a regular basis is to marvel that some of these men are still able to walk. Yet the rules of engagement — written and unwritten — are fairly explicit concerning acceptable conduct after the referee whistles a play dead or maneuvers made for the perceived purpose of inflicting injury.

Though it’s unfair to generalize about an entire team, the Titans’ reputation is not entirely unwarranted. They rank in the top quarter of the NFL in both personal fouls committed (8) and roughing the passer penalties (four). Sports Illustrated’s September poll of the NFL’s dirtiest players showed Mawae fifth and Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan sixth.

“You can either look at it as a cheap shot or the way football is played,” Chargers receiver Malcom Floyd said. “I’ve seen (Finnegan) playing like that for years. You’ve got to be prepared for it because that’s the way he plays. You can’t be (standing) around by the pile (because) he’ll come in and BOOM.”

Last month, Finnegan was fined in consecutive weeks for a facemasking penalty against San Francisco and two separate infractions against Buffalo.

“I don’t know if they’re the dirtiest team,” Merriman said, “but I know they’ve got some dirty guys. You’ve got a number of guys who go over and beyond.

“There’s a line of being physical between the whistles and doing something extra after the whistle or away from the play. I’ve never hit a guy after the whistle in my career. It’s not going to start this week.”

With an opportunity to secure a first-round playoff bye, the Chargers cannot afford to become preoccupied with payback.
Let's not mince words....the Titans roster is chock full of dickheads and they like to get under your skin none more so than Finnegan and Mawae*. On Christmas night, I look forward to seeing the Chargers exhibit the discipline that they have all year by continuing to be one of the least penalized teams in the league. Zulu Cthulhu is going to get his yards so it is essential that the Titans are not given any extras in the form of penalty yards.

Discipline gentlemen. Play it fair, hard nosed and between the whistles....but if the game gets out of hand then it's time for payback. Eye for an Eye, Tooth for a Tooth...in the name of the Baby Jesus.

An epic holiday battle!

* I would also count Lendale White amongst this collection of a$$-hats......except he's fat and they really don't let him touch the field these days.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Philip Rivers Moves Up In The MVP Race.....and some fans are idiots


This weekend Philip Rivers had another excellent game, getting the Bolts in position for a game winning FG against a tough Bengals team and in so doing entered the MVP talk on a national level. All we've heard to date is the genius that is Manning, Brees and Favre but with recent Viking and Saint losses Philip is beginning to get a bit more due.
From Peter King's, Monday Morning Quarterback

1. Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis. Played another classic Thursday night, four touchdowns and a pick (through the hands of Dallas Clark), and, barring an upset in the last two weeks, should win his fourth MVP. That's how I see it, anyway.

2. Philip Rivers, QB, San Diego. Another game-winning drive, this one in the final minute to set up a field goal that gave the Chargers their ninth win in a row over a game Cincinnati team. It's a mark of how great Brees is playing right now that Charger fans actually Tweet and e-mail me, moaning about letting Brees get away. People: You've got a great quarterback on your team -- and he should be dropping back for you for the next decade. In the last 11 games (nine of them wins), Rivers has thrown 22 touchdowns and six interceptions.

I agree with King 100%. Manning #1 and Rivers #2. Philip has been money the last 9 weeks and I take no exception to anything King writes. My beef is with idiots who gripe about not having Brees as San Diego's QB. If you take umbrage with Brees not manning the helm there's only one person to point the finger at: Drew Brees! He got it going one season too late. Had he began to blossom in 2003 then Philip Rivers never would have been acquired in 2004. Not to mention he ended the 2005 season with a catastrophic shoulder injury, an injury that I too suffered, and let me tell you, the thought of even heaving a football 20 yards makes me cringe in pain. The Chargers had to let Brees go considering both the injury and the fact that they had a young Philip Rivers sitting on the bench due millions of dollars. It was the right move by the Chargers and now both San Diego and New Orleans have outstanding QBs.

So stop emailing and texting Peter King you douche bags!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Vencie Says: 'The Man' keeps it short this week because he has Gravitas!

Vencie: "I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"

This edition of Vencie Says, is late, to say the least. I'm still basking in a solid road victory against Dallas and I'm sure Vencie is as well......he didn't eviscerate anyone on Sunday Night Football in San Diego and that is a sure sign of Charger progress.

Because of the overflow of positivity, just the one quote this week----and it is a telling one when you consider how hard nose of a player, Vencie Glenn was during his day. Vencie was set up by Jim Laslavic with the following question:

Laz:"Final thoughts as the Chargers get ready to play the Bengals. Who would've thought that this would be such a big game...."

Vencie: "I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"
(so good--you get it twice)
Through the first fourteen weeks of the season, two constants have drawn the ire of Vencie Glenn:
  1. Norv Turner. Both his leadership and play calling were under fire.
  2. Defense. Weather it was the soft play of Antonio Cromartie or the overall lack of accountability by the defense to man up, make a stop, and get off the field, Vencie Glenn routinely destroyed the unit.
Well, Norv has started calling a much more dynamic game during the last eight weeks and the result has been a Charger team playing with a lead. This effect has been profound. The Defense now knows that it can bend and if it keeps from breaking it will be trading opposition FGs for Charger TDs. The defense bends but gets stout in the red zone. This stinginess has been personified by goal line stands against the vaunted Giants, Eagles, and Cowboys of the NFC East. In all three match ups the Chargers have either held on 4th down or forced the opposition to kick a FG so it is the defense which should be given credit for playing tough D and contributing mightily to the current 8 game win streak. It isn't always pretty.......but they're getting the job done.

It should also be noted that Antonio Cromartie is playing a nice corner these days. Well hell.....we even saw the young fella playing press coverage at the line and getting his hands all over Roy Williams last Sunday. Keep up the solid coverage and mix in a few tackles and we might send you a Christmas card, Cro'. Good on ya.

So it is with that one quote that we bring this segment to an end. Part of the reason that this website sponsors former Charger Vencie Glenn is because he says the things we are thinking with a few crucial differences: the man has GRAVITAS!
  • He's an old school defender// HEED HIS VOICE!
  • He has a forum that allows his critical voice to be heard en mass.
  • Now you now why we 'heart' Vencie Glenn and why we'll ask you to look at his comment again:
"I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"

Friday, December 11, 2009

Invictus-Get ready for a 'triumph of the human spirit'


Inverted or Invictus?Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~William Ernest Henley

We will suspend reality and accept that Matt Damon is 6' 3" and 238 lbs for one reason: this is an excellent story, despite being an All Blacks supporter.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

San Diego Padres: Greatness on the Block at the Winter Meetings


Yesterday while driving home I divided my time between XX1090 with Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton and Xtra Sports 1360's The Drive, with Josh Rosenberg and Jeff Dotseth. Both shows are entertaining and informative. Yesterday's programs both leaned towards entertaining, for the exact same reasons: the maniacal callers.

Both programs spent chunks of time discussing the Padres and their 'possible' actions at the Baseball Winter Meetings in Indianapolis. There have been a few Padre trade rumors, primarily centered around Kevin Kouzmanoff and Heath Bell. After listening to San Diego's callers you would have been certain that the community regarded Kevin Kouzmanoff as the second coming of Mike Schmidt, George Brett, and Brooks Robinson all rolled into one super fantastic player. I have news for sports radio caller: HE'S NOT. HE'S JUST A DUDE. A DUDE WHO HITS FOR LESS POWER THAN A CORNER INFIELDER SHOULD! A DUDE WHO STRIKES OUT A LOT. A DUDE WHO NEVER WALKS!! LET ME REPEAT.........HE'S JUST A GUY!!!!!!!!

Now let me offer this disclaimer. I like Kevin Kouzmanoff. If I could go get a beer with one Padre it would probably be him (perhaps Heath Bell just to hear the sh*t he would say). He seems like a great guy and he puts forth a nice effort, day in and day out. He plays a solid, if not range deficient, third base. I'd also be ecstatic if he was only required to be the #7 or #8 hitter in our line-up......but he's not. Kevin Kouzmanoff is supposed to be the guy who protects Adrian Gonzalez and in that roll he under performs quite dramatically.

If Padre fans want to see a team that is actually moving forward heading into 2010 they may have to accept the fact that a deal involving Kevin Kouzmanoff may be the means to that end.

You see, we already have a 3rd baseman named Chase Headley. He was the organization's minor league player of the year not so long ago, the Padres' #1 rated prospect, so let's give him a chance to develop at his natural position. Then we can give Kyle Blanks a chance to play everyday in LF which might be a good thing for his development. Oh yea......that guy Will Venable......how 'bout we see if his second half of 2009 was the real thing or a fluke by giving him everyday ABs out in RF. Guys must be given a chance moving forward and right now Kevin Kouzmanoff is impeding the development of our other players. We know what Kouz is; and so do the other MLB clubs. If he can gain us a another piece of the puzzle then make the deal happen, young Jed Hoyer.

In Summation:
Please stop complaining that the sky is falling because Kouz might be dealt.......And please, never ever let me hear the following phrase uttered again on talk radio:
"If Kouz gets traded then I'm not going to a game for the next 10 years. I'm done"
If that's what you think, then you really have no expectation of a championship in San Diego......and you are dumber than the day is long!

I would also prefer to never hear the following from a radio caller regarding Kouz trade talk:
"Why are they going to move him? If it ain't broke, then don't fix it!"
It is broke.....YOU F*CKING MORON! The Padres are coming off of 4th and 5th place finishes!

If San Diego's fans continue to call in with such asinine opinions it is incumbent upon Lee Hamilton, Jeff Dotseth, and Josh Rosenberg to destroy these mindless a**hats with extreme prejudice. I would say that this is all just my humble opinion but doing so would suggest that the Kouz-lovers have a leg to stand on.......which they DON'T!!!

Go Padres
(I apologize for an excessively bold-italic-CAPITALIZED-24 point font induced tirade)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Vencie Says: Know your history....and play some 4th quarter 'D' for cryin' out loud!


I finally nailed the necessary combination of DVR-ing to be able to see Sunday Night Football in San Diego with Jim Laslavic, in its entirety.

Firstly
, you must be sure to record Sunday Night Football or at least set the DVR near the end of the game (AJM recommends between 7:45-8:30 pm) so you don't miss the start of SNF in San Diego on Channel 7 NBC, with Jim Laslavic.

Secondly
, you must record the Sunday Night Football in San Diego program itself at 8:30 pm. This seems counter intuitive but it's worth mentioning because.......sometimes shit just happens.

Thirdly,
you must record Monk at 9:00 pm. Yes Monk with Tony Shalhoub.


Timing is a b*tch with NBC. Between commercial interests and the occasional Viking who breaks his femur you never know how long SNF will last. Consequently you never know how long Laz, Vencie, JR, and La Roi will be on the tube.......which means you better record Monk with Tony Shalhoub too, or you might miss the Pearls of Wisdom from our main man Vencie Glenn! Without further adieu:

On LT passing the legendary Jim Brown on the all time rushing list:

"I like the fact he's a historian, ya know? A lot of these young players they don't know the history of the game. They don't realize that Emmitt Smith didn't invent the running game. There were guys before him. But ya know he's a historian, he understands the guys that paved the way for him. And I really respect that."

On the Chargers' shaky 4th quarter defense:
"They have to learn to close out games. When you got a Brady Quinn and a team you dominated all game and you give up 17 points in the 4th quarter, you can't have that if you're talkin' about making a playoff run.....cuz these teams will eat you up in the playoffs."

"If you're going to win a championship, and La Roi [La Roi Glover] knows this, you have to shut down teams in the 4th quarter......and get off the field."


On upcoming opponent, Cowboy QB, Tony Romo:
"When he plays in December.....is it December yet..... he don't win. The stats don't lie. The stats don't lie. He just can't get it done in December."

Vencie is right. Stats don't lie. We look forward to next Sunday Mr. Romo.

Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor does AJM.

Avenging Jack Murphy Obtains Top Secret Browns' Gameplan

Without a General Manager, Browns' coach Eric Mangini is a virtual lame duck in Cleveland, and as such he has no choice but to show he can be an innovative play caller going forward. Once a sterling Belichick lieutenant, Mangini now resembles a steaming floater in Lake Erie with his inability to lead the Cleveland franchise. His current Browns stint coupled with the disastrous ending with the Jets in 2008 has left the man, once dubbed "Mangenius", in a very precarious situation.

AJM has obtained Mangini's game plan and it is anything but conventional for this afternoon's tilt with the rolling San Diego Chargers. Any observer of NFL football knows two things regarding the Cleveland Browns:
  1. Brady Quinn's arms are more for showcasing ripped biceps than for throwing a football.
  2. With Jamal Lewis out and Kellen Winslow and Braylen Edwards having been dealt, Cleveland's Joshua Cribbs is the only viable weapon for a Browns' attack.
This is where Mangini's plan lacks convention; because Cribbs' effectiveness is best utilized as a kick returner it is in that facet of the game that he must get touches for his star. As the #3 ranked kick returner in the NFL, Mangini is going to concede points to the Chargers offense so that Cribbs can maximize his touches. This strategy could lead to a lot of crooked numbers being hung today which wouldn't be half bad entertainment value.

While a shootout may be fun, I just can't help but think that Mangini is underestimating the Chargers' special teams. With the exception of the Broncos game at Jack Murphy Field the special teams unit hasn't been that bad, but desperate measures are often the mark of desperate men. Eric Mangini is the model of desperation.

We say get Cribbs involved all you want......this cockamamie game plan has ZERO chance of succeeding!

Chargers 37 Browns 13

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Philip Rivers Commemorative Coin

The football/humor site, Kissing Suzy Kolber, generally makes a living off of taking the piss out of a good many players in the NFL..........Philip Rivers is no exception to their scorn.

Each Tuesday they take photos from the previous weekend of football delight and add captions. While Philip usually takes a beating at the site this photoshop was outstanding!!!

Go to Kissing Suzy Kolber's LOLNFL: Week 12 for more hilarity.

Things Could Always Be Worse: see life as an Oakland Raider fan

Raider Fans have organized an effort to encourage Al Davis to take hold of the franchise by hiring a competent, non crypt-keeper-like individual, to handle personnel matters. The guerrilla fan organization is taking place in the form of bill board advertisement and will surely conclude with terrorist activity and the abduction of Al Davis.

Part of the plea by Raider fan is the recognition by Al Davis that it is simply unacceptable for such a proud franchise to be on its way to a 7th consecutive season of 11 losses or more-----no where on the site is there any reference to losing 13 consecutive contests to their rival out of San Diego.

I appreciate the efforts made by these Raider fans even though I find them, for the most part, a deplorable blight on humanity. They need money to continue the billboard effort and they are currently soliciting donations: MessageTo Al.com

While I applaud their dedication they won't be getting dime 1 out of me......I wouldn't want any roadblocks to getting win #14 in a row, come early 2010.

Always remember.............things could be worse.