Gwynn Thoughts: The 5.5 Hole In 2001

Questions of mortality often rekindle the fondest memories . So many memories . . .

Towards the end of the 2001 season I attended a Padres game with the future Mrs. AJM, my best friend, and his future Ex-Mrs. The future Ex-Mrs. of my best friend was the future Mrs. AJM's best friend. We introduced them. It's all very convoluted but it's neither here nor there. This is about Tony Gwynn and the 5.5 hole . . .



As we sat in Jack Murphy Stadium in the upper reaches of Left Field we had a perfect view of the infield and the locale that Tony Gwynn made so famous. On this particular evening, no doubt in celebration of Gwynn's career arriving at its conclusion, the infield dirt between third base and shortstop was emblazoned with a giant 5.5. Etched into the dirt, these numbers served as a reminder to every Padres fan the manner in which Gwynn plied his trade each night in Mission Valley and across the country.

Of course my guests weren't really aware of this fact. The girls were casual fans and my buddy had recently moved to San Diego from Arizona via New York. They didn't understand the significance of the numbers so I explained the numeration to all. I felt smart.

In front of our seats sat another couple. I overheard a young guy and girl reference the 5.5 hole and question it's meaning so I politely explained it to them. The guy looked at me and said, "That's not what it means!"

I assured him of my certainty but he wasn't having it. I sat back in my seat and delivered a mental assault for the ages. I don't recall who the Padres played or the outcome, only the homage to Tony Gwynn, the friends that accompanied me, and my brief conversation with the most ignorant man in San Diego.

Slashed into the 5.5 hole . . . whaddya think?

Orlando Hudson And I Know How To Laugh At Work

Last night was a weird game for the Padres.

I mean they lost, so in that sense it was fairly normal.

It was the Orlando Hudson blunder in the 6th inning however, that has kept fans discussing last night's near shutout at the hands of the D-Backs.

But was it the play itself or Hudson's comments after the game that have kept the play alive.

From the Union Tribune's Bill Center:

Hudson made a nice running catch for the second out. But as he kept running toward the foul line, he tossed the ball to the unidentified ball girl in front of the Arizona bullpen. The ballgirl did her job by tossing the ball to a fan.

However, the ball was still in play. And Chris Young was signaled home from third with the second run in the inning.

“It’s funny,” said Hudson of the play that was roundly booed. “It was just a mistake. I just lost track man ... you lose track of the outs. I’ll see it on replay later and laugh.”

People seem to be discouraged at the O-Dog's nonchalance but I'm here to tell you that his approach is the ONLY one to enlist while at work!

Allow me to recall an incident from my past...

 I once worked at a youth summer camp. As the youngsters arrived, part of my job entailed collecting their lunches and putting them into the refrigerator. I rarely did this. I mean the United States is a developed country, one in which nearly all food is chock full of preservatives. I didn't need a refrigerator for my own lunch as a kid and neither should they, right?

Unfortunately for me, there were a fair number of moms who decided to slather their children's sandwiches with mayonnaise, creating a problem of massive proportions when I failed to get the lunches chilled. Oops.

Here and there, due to warm summer days and spoiled mayo, I would have to tend to adolescents with explosive diarrhea.

Is is gross? Sure.  

Is it funny? Heck yea.

So you know what I did? I laughed. Just like the O-Dog.

When that kid sat on the toilet looking like Harry from Dumb and Dumber, all I could do was laugh. I laughed because mistakes happen. Kids with explosive diarrhea? It happens. I'd tell those kids to laugh it off! It was all I could do.

Of course, dealing with the moms who arrived during the late afternoon, only to see their child a pasty white while toting a plastic bag full of soiled clothes was the real challenge presented by my job. What did I tell them? I told them that this ain't no third world country. Kids don't die from diarrhea and dehydration in the U.S.A. Then I'd smile. And laugh. Because that's all you can do at your job.

Did it end there?

Of course not. That's when the mom would tell me that she once performed this job in High School and something like this NEVER happened when she was in the charge of children. Did you hear that? High School? If she was so good at that job in High School then why isn't she STILL doing it? It's simple... she wasn't good enough. And if you're not good enough you should shut your mouth and stop sending your kid to camp with mayonnaise on their sandwich!

I got your back, O-Dog. Go Padres!