Orlando Hudson and The Big Lebowski

On Wednesday the Padres found themselves in the eye of the Yu Darvish hurricane as the Japanese star made his stateside debut in Peoria, Arizona. Yesterday the usual commentary commenced and as I read through Steve Henson's article on Yahoo! Sports a quote by Orlando Hudson caught my eye. The O-Dog opined:

“That’s a big Asian dude,” said Padres second baseman Orlando Hudson, who had the other hit against Darvish.

 You may not have known it but during his brief tenure as a Dodger Orlando Hudson attended the Los Angeles based Walter Sobchak School of Preferred Nomenclature.

But I'm not sure he picked up on Walter's lesson. Let's begin with cultural insensitivity and geographical abominations . . .



Asia is a pretty big place -- nay, a pretty big continent! Would you refer to a Russian as a big Asian? A Palestinian as a big Asian? An Israeli? A Kyrgyzstanian! I suspect not! Yet Orlando Hudson gives the guy from Japan the "big Asian dude" treatment.

What if diminutive Padres minor-leaguer Kyung-Min Na walked through camp at the Peoria Sport Complex? Would O-Dog bark, "That's a little Asian dude."? I would hope not. It bears mentioning that Na is freakishly tiny but he's a little Korean dude. Preferred nomenclature, dude.

Let us also not forget that Yu Darvish is only half Japanese, his father hailing from Iran -- another locale in Asia. I don't know how seriously baseball is taken in the Islamic Republic of Darvish's father but something tells me the slight by Orlando Hudson might be . . . fatwa worthy? Maybe that's a bit extreme. He's no Salman Rushdie.

While Orlando Hudson may never work by Walter Sobchak's side he is still very much a man with a future once the hardball days end. As I continued reading Henson's column Hudson remarked:

“I know some guys on the Rangers and they say he’s a great teammate. He likes to have fun. I think he’ll do a helluva job.”

With hard hitting evaluation like that I immediately knew where we'd see the O-Dog come retirement day . . .

You can't always get what you want

I really want to like Orlando Hudson. Let me amend that statement -- I really don't want to dislike guys who play for the Padres. 

I don't care to critique guys I ultimately need to cheer for in order for the Padres to attain success.

Yet here I am, during the week before position players are required to report to Peoria, Arizona and I've already ripped into Orlando Hudson twice. I'm bashing a guy who showed up early to camp!

But it could all be solved quite easily . . .


I guess it all comes down to the roles of those writing the stories: beat writers and columnists.

Perhaps it's not within the purview of beat writers to ask the dirty little questions (see: critical) I have in mind, on account of needing access to ballplayers every day. The columnist (and blogger) can get away with the scathing criticism more readily than the guy covering the beat.

So what is it that I want, you ask? 

I want Orlando Hudson to be asked, not about tossing the ball into the stands with two outs last season, but his comments afterwards regarding it being funny. Orlando Hudson probably thinks it was a benign comment but the truth is that a great deal of animosity towards him was developed when, on a last place team, he was able to laugh it off. Ask him about that.

I want Orlando Hudson to address his comments toward fans who booed Brad Hawpe last season. I love that he stood up for his teammate but I loathe that he called out fans with his condescending and entitled remarks.

I want Orlando Hudson to comment on his Twitter account, although verified as his, was clearly being operated by someone else -- and was ripping into critical fans.

That's what I want. I'm not likely to get it but a fan can dream. The odds are good that I wouldn't like O-Dog's answers anyway. Orlando Hudson, in his insulated little world, appears to simply think the way he thinks. But if he recanted, even a bit, I could get in the guy's corner.

****
On a side note:

I imagine yesterday was the day Orlando Hudson was made completely available to reporters as each of the guys (Corey, Dan, and Bill) submitted a story on the Padres second baseman. I can see Orlando Hudson holding court in the middle of the locker room, talking a mile-a-minute, slapping the rear-ends of new guys like Andrew Cashner and Edinson Volquez as they make it to the showers. I digress.

My point? Look at the variation in quotes from Corey Brock's article and Bill Center's.

Corey Brock:

"I guess when you go out and play hard ... things like that happen. If you don't play hard, it comes back that he don't give a damn, he don't care," Hudson said. "You go out and keep doing what you're doing. I'm not going to change the way I play."

Bill Center:

“I guess when you go out and play hard, things like that happen. If you don’t play hard, it comes back that you don’t care. You go out and keep doing what you’re doing. I’m not going to change the way I play.

 Assuming they were huddled around Hudson at the same time I find that kind of weird. If 'kind of weird' is a bit vague, I mean to say that quote #2 looks cleaned up. I guess the UT is a family fish-wrap now.

Orlando Hudson's Act of Contrition . . . not really

The Union Tribune's Bill Center has given Orlando Hudson a forum to reconstruct a tattered image. Your job, if you choose to accept it, is to either reject or accept his act of contrition . . .



Orlando Hudson says he never got his feet on the ground last season.

It's possible to simultaneously have one's head up their ass and to also have their feet on the ground. It's all science. I reject Bill Center's assertion.

“It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t fun at all,” the veteran second baseman said Wednesday of a 2011 season that saw him twice land on the disabled list and finish with one of the weaker campaigns of his career. 

This is a lie. If you laugh you're having fun. And when Orlando Hudson threw a ball into the stands last year he said he laughed about it. Because it was funny.

Laughter = fun.

This applies to nearly everyone except a particular subset of clowns whose performance is based on successfully creating balloon twisting animals and objects. These clowns are often tipped so poorly for their efforts that they no longer have souls despite the projection of a prodigiously painted smile.

Just havin' fun

“We’re all human,” he continued. “Flush it and go.”

As the father of infants, I don't appreciate the bathroom humor but I suppose I can accept this strategy. Mr. Hudson might be making strides in a direction fans would deem forward.

“This year is a different year,” said Hudson. “Last year was a little strange. It happens to everybody. You can’t be disappointed about it, you’ve got to keep playing, keep going hard.”

Disappointment is a colossal waste of time. How very Buddhist of him. He's like a Bodhisattva over there at second base. I dub thee, O-Dog-sattva.

Said Hudson: “I guess when you go out and play hard, things like that happen. If you don’t play hard, it comes back that you don’t care."

O-Dog-sattva is confusing me. Has he learned a lesson or is he chastising fans for forcing him to play hard to earn his money, the implication being that if he would have eased back on the throttle he never would have suffered any injuries?

IT'S! YOUR! FAULT! SAN DIEGO!

Hudson’s 2011 statistics included a career-low .246 batting average over 119 games, which was the second-fewest played in his career.

O-Dog-sattva showed up to work 73% of the time. On days that he did show up to work he was successful at his job less than 25% of the time. He was paid 100% of his salary -- which is roughly 1 Gazillion dollars more than I will make in my lifetime.

Man, the O-Dog-sattva is doing it right.

However, there was a perception in the extended Padres family, including fans, that the 34-year-old switch-hitter wasn’t all-in. Greeting rivals who reached second didn’t win Hudson points. Neither did tossing a ball into the stands with one out, then later making light of the incident.

Aldous Huxley once wrote, "There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception".

And then Jim Morrison started a band and got hopped up on mescaline. The point is drugs are bad for the artist but great for he who admires the art.

It sounds like I'm advocating the use of performance enhancing drugs so the O-Dog-sattva can boost his anemic numbers -- which I'm not at all proposing. Unless he wants to do it. And has a way to do it without getting caught. Wait. Getting caught would lead to a suspension . . .

At this point I don't know if we need steroids or mescaline. F&%k!

“I want to help this team any way I can.”
The Crash Davis School of Cliches . . . this is a step forward! Nice going O-Dog-sattva.

//I'm a jerk. And I cannot help myself

Orlando Hudson Reports Early To Spring Training

Yesterday, Dan Hayes of the North County Times reported via Twiter, that all 35 Padres pitchers and catchers had reported to Peoria, Arizona. In addition to the mandatory appearance by pitchers and catchers 8 position players reported voluntarily. One of the position players was the oft maligned Orlando Hudson.

Orlando Hudson is well aware that his stock tumbled last year after coming to San Diego. The Padres tried to move him but his services went unwanted this winter.

Hudson is essentially a free agent following 2012 as the Padres would have to pay him $8 million dollars in 2013 but are likely to buy him out for $2 million instead.

Is his early arrival an attempt at some sort of penance? Perhaps this move by the O-Dog will show an attempt to provide the leadership that was sorely lacking last season and eventually persuade another team to offer him a multi-year deal in 2013.

According to sources on the ground at the  Peoria Sports Complex, Orlando Hudson has already contributed selflessly to the cause in 2012 . . .

African Proverbs: The Padres Front Office Edition

While using African proverbs to identify Orlando Hudson's numerous missteps in a Padres uniform I also found a few others to explain the happenings down on 19 Tony Gwynn Drive. They didn't quite fit with the discussion of San Diego's second baseman so here they are in a post teeming with optimism...

 

If your cornfield is far from your house, the birds will eat your corn. ~ Pygmy proverb

 

What better way to explain the Padres decision to move their AAA club from Portland to Tucson with the endgame being a subsequent move to the Escondido area. Alas, California is a mess and with no redevelopment money coming the Tucson Padres are stuck in-- well, Tucson. Currently it is unclear if the birds represent the dry desert air that destroys the minds of pitchers and the mechanics of hitters or if the Nippon-Ham Fighters have advanced scouts in place. We may need a Pygmy to solve this one.

 

One cannot both feast and become rich.  ~Ashanti proverb

 

This is clearly a proverb never considered by teams like the Yankees and Red Sox. They need not consider it because they live in another dimension. It's a fantasy world, one in which money does fall from trees. The Padres, on the other hand, face a far different plight. The San Diego club in many ways serves as a microcosm of the lifestyle most Americans must choose. Sacrifices must be made before rewards can be reaped. Slowly the Padres payroll is creeping upwards. Responsibly.

 

Blind belief is dangerous. ~ Luyia proverb

 

While blind belief is dangerous belief in and of itself is not. Belief accompanied by probing questions. Belief in the process. Belief in your people. Belief in the belief that "Believe SD" was a winning marketing slogan for an overachieving 2010 Padres team that played meaningful ballgames until game #162. What I'm saying is, that it's essential to believe in belief. Not blind belief, mind you. Just to be Big Believers In Belief. Ask Josh Byrnes.

 

A messenger cannot be beaten. ~ Luyia proverb

 

In 2009 Padres President and COO, Tom Garfinkel, proclaimed that San Diego was and forever shall be a Breakfast Town. This was not his message. He was merely the messenger for what Rolf Benirschke had conveyed to him over, conveniently, breakfast. While Garfinkel received a lambasting for the insinuation that he knew San Diego after such a brief tenure in town, something funny happened. We (I) decided that as lovers of breakfast perhaps San Diego is a breakfasttown. Now in the AJM household every Tuesday night is Breakfast for Dinner night and the omniscient Garfinkel sits back and smiles. While Mr. Garfinkel receives holiday cards from the Vocal Minority he sends his to the Luyia in Kenya. He took a beating and survived.

 

You do not teach the paths of the forest to an old gorilla. ~ Congolese proverb

 

In late 2011 and early 2012 two pivotal moments occurred for the Padres. They signed Mark Kotsay to serve as a bench player and as mentor to a young club in need of leadership. The experienced clubhouse gorilla, if you will. 

 

Then Jeff Moorad attended the Baseball Owners meeting to seek approval for the full purchase of the Padres from John Moores. He was publicly rebuked. Moorad took the news calmly even though that no good bastard Ken Kendrickson of the Diamondbacks was doing everything possible to block the purchase. While John Moores flipped out and refused to vote for Bud Selig's continued stewardship of MLB, Jeffrey Moorad continued to stay the course. Calmly. Moorad understands the path.

 

Stolen things bring in misfortune. ~Kenyan proverb

 

On November 13th of 2010 the Padres obtained Cameron Maybin for Ryan Webb and Edward Mujica. On rare occasions African wisdom must be rejected.

 

Two male hippos do not stay in the same pond. ~ Azania proverb

 

After acquiring Yonder Alonso in the Mat Latos trade Padres General Manager Josh Byrnes decides that he doesn't want a Quarterback Controversy at first base with Anthony Rizzo. Rizzo is shipped to Chicago on January 6th for Andrew Cashner.

 

Money is sharper than the sword. ~ Ashanti proverb

 

In early 2012 the Padres decided to make a concerted effort to accumulate more monetary reserves. The first step in this process was to return all swords for cash-- a controversial decision to be sure, as everyone knows that swords are cool. First the trade of Adrian Gonzalez and now the Padres' surplus of swords. Nobody said it would be easy as a Padres fan.

 

Armed with the wisdom of proverbs the San Diego Padres' pilgrimage into 2012 continues.

African Proverbs That Orlando Hudson Has Never Heard

 Rain beats a leopard's skin, but it does not wash out the spots ~The Ashanti of West Africa

 

Utilized as teaching tools, Proverbs act as tools for the oral transmission of culture from one generation to the next in parts of Africa. The above proverb immediately came to mind when I heard some commentary related to Padres second baseman Orlando Hudson yesterday . . .

 

Padres beat writer Bill Center conducts a chat each week on the UT website, fielding questions from fans. A couple of fellow fans (@thesacbunt and @vocalminoritySD) generally transcribe interesting parts of the chat via Twitter under the hashtag #sezBill.

From the Sac Bunt:

And also:

Orlando Hudson is 34 years old so I'm not holding my breath that a good rain beating down upon him will change who he is at a fundamental level. But I hope I'm wrong*.

*Only so we can trade him by July 31st.

 

I wondered if there were other proverbs that could retroactively help Orlando Hudson and discovered the following:

 

 Perhaps Orlando Hudson would have thought twice about insulting fans last spring after they voiced displeasure about the play of Brad Hawpe had he heard this one:

Do not tell the man carrying you that he stinks. ~Sierra Leone

Fans are the ones who watch television and attend games. They are the ones who make it possible for the Orlando Hudson's of the world to clear nearly $12 million dollars in 2 years. Accept the stink and revel in it,

 

Hudson was not the best fit in the clubhouse because he was never exposed to this truth:

A real family eats the same cornmeal. ~Bayombe

In Hudson's defense I'd bolt the clubhouse early too if Jeff Moorad was serving cornmeal as the after game spread.


Rekindling the fire at the age of 34, Orlando Hudson would do well to remember:

There is no medicine against old age. ~Accra

The nature of reality is impermanence. Buddha said that. If the Buddha could speak to the O-Dog he'd likely say, "You dyin' dog."

 

After throwing a ball into the stands with only two outs remember these two proverbs when speaking to reporters:

When your mouth stumbles, it's worse than feet. ~Oji

The teeth of a man serve as a fence. ~Wolof    

When your team is in last place and you exhibit the mental gaffe of the year DO NOT tell reporters you thought it was funny. It must be difficult to always be in self-censor mode but I advise the O-Dog to heed the collective wisdom of the Oji and Wolof.

 

If Orlando Hudson had the awareness of those in Kenya he may never have allowed someone else to speak on his behalf through Twitter:

The forest has ears. ~Kenya

Our modern day forest is Twitter and it has both ears and a zealous voice. I'd be remiss if I did not point out that without this transgression by Hudson we would have never heard the meme, #mowmylawn . . . so thank you, O-Dog.

 

Maybe Orlando Hudson will become a deep thinker during this off-season. It may or may not occur due to education by proverb.

Mowing Orlando Hudson's Lawn . . . for charity

This evening, Padres MLB beat writer Corey Brock, offered a tweet with a couple of predictions for the team in 2012. He also asked fans to boldly predict the 2012 Padres season, an irresistible offer. I proffered the following:

O-Dog holds a contest to mow his lawn. Proceeds benefit his Autism Charity. Simultaneously alienates and ingratiates fans. 

Pretend this prediction is awesome for a brief moment [and it is]. Now ask me why it is so awesome [thank you]. Because it could actually work . . .


Last season Orlando Hudson tried to defend the beleaguered Bad Hawpe by ripping into fans who never made it out of the high school ranks. He tossed a ball to fans in the stands with less than two outs and then had the nerve to laugh about it with the media after the loss. The trifecta was completed when the Orlando Hudson twitter account suggested to critical fans that they were only good enough to mow his lawn. Many of us, to say the least, were irked by the presence of Orlando Hudson last season.

There is no denying that Orlando Hudson can be a dick. But there is also no repudiating the man's philanthropy, specifically his work on behalf of autistic children. Orlando Hudson is an admirable dick if nothing else.

Why not merge Orlando's miserable on-field persona with his off-field kindness, in the form of a contest? Here's how I see it playing out . . .

We have a blind auction. People submit non-refundable bids to mow Orlando Hudson's lawn. The high bid wins, receiving the splendor that accompanies a hard day's yard-work all beneath the shaded umbrella of a charitable cause.

Do those who lost out on the bidding war get anything? Of course there's a consolation prize!

All losing bids are donated to Orlando Hudson's charity and each junior philanthropist shall play an interactive role in the day's events. They get to go to Orlando Hudson's house and watch the winning bidder mow the O-Dog's lawn. While the bidders who couldn't cut it with a more substantial financial contribution watch from the driveway, O-Dog will throw baseballs to them, playfully mocking his on-field blunder in 2011.

This is a win-win. 

Orlando Hudson gets donations from every fan who submits a bid, all of which are donated to his C.A.T.C.H. foundation. We all get to laugh at one another, maybe see O-Dog slap the guy on the rear as he turns a corner while mowing the lawn. And most importantly I get to be right about a prediction for the 2012 season.

This is not set in stone. Feel free to add some elements to what will no doubt become a bidding war.

Tear Down This Wall Mr. Byrnes-achev

On this date in 1987* West Germans gathered to hear President Ronald Reagan address a crowd in front of the Berlin Wall. This historic date, when President Reagan pleaded with Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall, marked a seminal moment in the latter 20th century.

The Berlin Wall had become a physical manifestation of the division between a communist east and a democratic and capitalist west. Moreover it served as a mental divide between these two worlds.

The barriers of the mind can mean so much more than the physical, the tangible.

The Berlin Wall. Josh Byrnes. The San Diego Padres. Take a journey with me won't you . . .



New Padres General Manager Josh Byrnes has been an active participant during the Hot Stove and while it has ruffled the feathers of some fans there's no doubt he has made the winter interesting.

But there is one thing Byrnes could do that would no doubt capture the imagination of all Padres fans. It is President Ronald Reagan's Berlin Wall speech that I use as inspiration.

I paraphrase:

We welcome change and openness; for we believe that locker room cohesion and wins go together, that the advance of our 25 man roster can only strengthen the cause of the 2012 season. There is one sign that Josh Byrnes can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of this organization as a whole and the team that takes the field in 2012. General Manager Byrnes, if you seek unity, if you seek wins for the San Diego Padres and the people of southern California, if you seek the whole as being more than the sum of its parts, come here to this locker room. Mr. Byrnes, open this locker room. Mr. Byrnes, Mr. Byrnes, tear down this wall!

Tear down this Orlando Hudson Wall in the San Diego Padres locker room, Mr. Byrnes.

We are big believers that you can do it. Make this hot stove season an unrivaled success and tear it down.

I want to thank @homersapien619 for indulging me with an excellent photo-shop of the wall inside San Diego's locker room. Homer likes beer and is a fellow believer in belief. Follow him on twitter.

*This date is a fabrication. It was not December 21st, 1987 but June 12th of that year. But it's the off-season and points must be made.

Guest Post: @Homersapien619 is mad at Orlando Hudson types . . . and he ain't gonna take it anymore!

A blog is a place to vent. As such, I have an open door policy to those who have become friends. When you factor into the equation that this post simultaneously denigrates both Orlando Hudson and Shaun Phillips I have little choice but to acquiesce.

This column comes from a man known on the Internet as @Homersapien619 and 'tis his first foray into the blogging business. Welcome him, please.

Congratulations, Homer! You're officially an a-hole.

This is my first ever blog submission. I’m normally one of the guys in the background, doing a lot of technical stuff, making the writers look good. Hopefully, this is going to live up to the Avenging Jack Murphy standards of excellence. That means there will be at least one Joe Randa reference, guaranteed. But, I haven’t been drinking Ballast Point Sculpin IPA, so it’s doubtful there will be any misspelled capitalization errors (see: vIlL WeNaBlE).

That having been said, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among San Diego “professional” athletes this year in terms of interacting with their fans via social media sites like Twitter.

If you don’t know, I have been coordinating social media locally for a Fortune 500 company, so I think I have a little insight into how not to interact with customers (aka fans) via Twitter. And lately, certain San Diego athletes have been doing it wrong.

I have dubbed it the “Mow My Lawn” rule, after the following interaction between Padres fan, Scott Colson and the account of Padres 2^nd baseman Orlando Hudson.

I say account because it was obvious that someone else was tweeting for Orlando. But that’s another story altogether.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a Chargers fan. In fact, I’m really not a football fan. I follow the sport, but nowhere near as closely as others.

But Monday I just happened to come across a couple of tweets from two Chargers players that fall under the “Mow My Lawn” rule. The following tweets are prime examples of why I don’t like the Chargers organization as a whole, and the current players in particular.

First up, I give you TE Randy McMichael (@randymac81):

I didn’t include his tweet shortly after this one where he calls a fan an @$$hole after said fan made a joke involving some of the people he was following (Editor's note: Wow . . . you're not as big of an asshole as I thought, Homer!)
 

Hey, Randy. It’s never a good idea to denigrate grocery baggers. Next thing you know, your bread & eggs are underneath the milk.

Secondly, I give you everyone's Twitter favorite, LB Shaun Phillips (@ShaunPhillips95):

 What can I say about this sequence? I’ve heard it all before from Shaun. He’s notorious for berating critics with his tweets. Even when he deserves it.
 

 My point is this: Yes, we know that you’re getting paid to do a job that most of us can’t do. But you should remember that as fans, we pay our hard earned money to buy tickets. Or jerseys. Or t-shirts. Or MLB Extra Innings. Or NFL Sunday Ticket. Most of us don’t have a lot of disposable income to buy these things. So you should man-up and take the criticisms with a grain of salt.

Does this mean you should respond with “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I disagree with your point,” or “I understand and I’ll do better next time”? No. I’m sure I’d call you a pussy if you took that stance. But take some responsibility for the way your TEAM is playing.

That’s right, I said TEAM. 

The fact is that the Chargers have lost 5 in a row as I write this. I have no idea how Randy McMichael or Shaun Phillips are playing right now. They could suck more than the suckiest bunch of sucks whoever sucked. Or they could be invoking the image of Joe Randa, roundhouse kicking their way into the record books. But their TEAM is playing like the suckiest bunch of sucks whoever sucked.

There’s that word again. TEAM.

 *Editor's Note: Excellent Joe Randa product placement.

Sight For Sore Eyes After Sweep

I spend a lot of time looking at Baseball-Reference.com for all my nerdy number baseball needs, especially Padres game logs, so as to be accurate when I harangue players like Will Venable and Orlando Hudson. It also serves a valuable purpose when I laud players like Cameron Maybin.

When I look at Baseball Reference I often think of the old carpenter's maxim of, "Measure Twice, Cut Once, my friend."*--- a reminder to look up the numbers before properly laying into a player.

Having said that, it pleased me to see the following graphic this morning:

In case you're missing it let me zoom in...

A nice fresh row of retired numbers featuring Trevor Hoffman. Good stuff.

*I added the 'my friend' to that old proverb and in so doing I believe its been improved upon. Don't you?

Orlando Hudson Smiles While Singing Macy Gray's, "Beauty In The World"

 After the embarrassment that was Orlando Hudson's fielding gaffe on Tuesday night, coupled with his subsequent response, last evening presented Padres fans with yet another reason to be annoyed with the second baseman of 2011... and contractually speaking... 2012.

Allow me to set the scene:

The Padres are losing 4-3 in the bottom of the 9th to Arizona.

Orlando Hudson singles.

With two outs, our lil Buddy attempts to swipe second with rookie Luis Martinez at the plate.....

 Very nice! Orlando is SAFE. The Padres have the tying run in scoring position!

 A seasoned professional, Orlando Hudson asks the umpire for time so he can get Luke Yoder's dirt out of his jock.

What? He's out? Damn! This is a travesty! (my commentary but also Orlando Hudson' inner-monologue)

I would kick dirt on the umpire. But I'm an idiot, what do I know (rhetorical question)?

Orlando Hudson chooses the pragmatic approach: he smiles.

And when he begins to rise from the ashes, despite the scoreboard and the impending finality of another loss: he smiles.

Then Orlando stands before all in attendance. He takes "it" in: and he smiles.

With the scoreboard confirming that the play was not a hoax, Orlando Hudson again, smiles.

Then he switches angles ever so slightly so that those remaining fans above the 3rd base dugout can see his... smile.

 Ah, yes... you are correct. This IS the same picture as the last one. But I have a point I'm trying to prove here! Smile.

I understand that there are times when you smile at failure. When you know you've been had by the opposition or in this case, the umpire. But this sort of smile should accompany a player who's been had by a team like the 1984 Detroit Tigers who started the season 35-5...

"Aw crap.... the game just ended with me getting caught stealing... and on a bad call? Damn... I can't believe we aren't going to be 36-5. I say damn!"

The San Diego Padres are no where near the galaxy of 36-5. They are 45-60, Orlando. You are 15.5 games out of 1st place on July 28th... and you threw the ball into the stands the night BEFORE... and thought it was FUNNY. Think about it.

************

If you don't fully appreciate my screen grabs feel free to watch the play in its entirety right here.

Now is the time when we sing Macy Gray's Beauty in the World along with Orlando Hudson. Join us, won't you...

Orlando Hudson And I Know How To Laugh At Work

Last night was a weird game for the Padres.

I mean they lost, so in that sense it was fairly normal.

It was the Orlando Hudson blunder in the 6th inning however, that has kept fans discussing last night's near shutout at the hands of the D-Backs.

But was it the play itself or Hudson's comments after the game that have kept the play alive.

From the Union Tribune's Bill Center:

Hudson made a nice running catch for the second out. But as he kept running toward the foul line, he tossed the ball to the unidentified ball girl in front of the Arizona bullpen. The ballgirl did her job by tossing the ball to a fan.

However, the ball was still in play. And Chris Young was signaled home from third with the second run in the inning.

“It’s funny,” said Hudson of the play that was roundly booed. “It was just a mistake. I just lost track man ... you lose track of the outs. I’ll see it on replay later and laugh.”

People seem to be discouraged at the O-Dog's nonchalance but I'm here to tell you that his approach is the ONLY one to enlist while at work!

Allow me to recall an incident from my past...

 I once worked at a youth summer camp. As the youngsters arrived, part of my job entailed collecting their lunches and putting them into the refrigerator. I rarely did this. I mean the United States is a developed country, one in which nearly all food is chock full of preservatives. I didn't need a refrigerator for my own lunch as a kid and neither should they, right?

Unfortunately for me, there were a fair number of moms who decided to slather their children's sandwiches with mayonnaise, creating a problem of massive proportions when I failed to get the lunches chilled. Oops.

Here and there, due to warm summer days and spoiled mayo, I would have to tend to adolescents with explosive diarrhea.

Is is gross? Sure.  

Is it funny? Heck yea.

So you know what I did? I laughed. Just like the O-Dog.

When that kid sat on the toilet looking like Harry from Dumb and Dumber, all I could do was laugh. I laughed because mistakes happen. Kids with explosive diarrhea? It happens. I'd tell those kids to laugh it off! It was all I could do.

Of course, dealing with the moms who arrived during the late afternoon, only to see their child a pasty white while toting a plastic bag full of soiled clothes was the real challenge presented by my job. What did I tell them? I told them that this ain't no third world country. Kids don't die from diarrhea and dehydration in the U.S.A. Then I'd smile. And laugh. Because that's all you can do at your job.

Did it end there?

Of course not. That's when the mom would tell me that she once performed this job in High School and something like this NEVER happened when she was in the charge of children. Did you hear that? High School? If she was so good at that job in High School then why isn't she STILL doing it? It's simple... she wasn't good enough. And if you're not good enough you should shut your mouth and stop sending your kid to camp with mayonnaise on their sandwich!

I got your back, O-Dog. Go Padres!