The Opening Day Crawl

As we blasted through the doldrums of a February sports calendar and the never ending repetition that is Spring Training we can feasibly reference the odyssey to Opening Day as a crawl. But that's not the type of crawl I'm talking about.

I'm on vacation and I'm setting up a pub crawl to PETCO Park for Opening Day this Thursday afternoon. There will be no t-shirts. I can't guarantee more than three people in attendance. But here's what I will say:

• My two buddies who are meeting-up with me don't know each other. So if you're hesitant to meet because you don't want to feel like a third wheel then throw that care to the wind good man/woman! I've already stated that there are three of us to start so you'll be the FOURTH WHEEL. . . but you'd be like a bitchin' 22 inch rim that totally tricks us out . . . so be there!
• We will keep strict time in each establishment. If you can't start with us then join us along the way.

Let's do it!

If you're inclined to begin the journey on LEG #1 you will go to the . . .

OLD TOWN TRANSIT CENTER: 11:50 AM

My acquaintances and I will arrive at 11:50 for the intended purposes of boarding the MTS trolley for a 12:00 pm departure. The Trolley will drop us off at 5th avenue in downtown at 12:15pm.

What are your needs?

You will need one or two cans of beer. It must be beer that would be frowned upon by the San Diego craft beer community.

Since the Padres are facing off against the Dodgers you should be wearing brown but this is a negotiable point. If you believe in Blue and prefer to snub your nose at our LA neighbors I'm completely down with that. If you are one of those people however, who can't bring themselves to wear even one piece of attire connecting yourself to the San Diego Padres then honestly I don't want you there.

You will also need a firm handshake or fist-bumping capabilities and a desire to be unusually strange. Now that I've scared off the pretenders let us proceed to  . . .

THE LOCAL: 12:30pm-12:49pm (19 minutes)
1065 4th Ave (between C St and Broadway Ave)

We will probably arrive at The Local slightly before this time but the official bar crawl begins at 12:30pm.

This is the perfect place to begin as it's one of those places that proudly claims its San Diego roots. It's a shame we can only stay for Tony Gwynn minutes.

 From The Local we have 5 minutes to scurry over to the . . .

STAR BAR: 12:54pm-1:00pm (6 minutes)
423 E Street (between 4th Ave & 5th Ave)

The Star Bar is a certified dump. It's complete crap. For these reasons we are staying for Steve Garvey minutes.

But why even go at all, you ask? 

As a genuine dive bar it is deserving of acknowledgment. Similarly, former Dodger/Padre Steve Garvey is worth acknowledging because of the historic HR he hit in 1984 at Jack Murphy Stadium against the Cubs.

Steve Garvey is the Star Bar.

SIX MINUTES!

After leaving the Star Bar we continue on a strenuous walk next door to the . . .

GASLAMP TAVERN: 1:01pm-1:36pm (35 minutes)
868 5th Ave (next to Star Bar corner of 5th)

This is the original Gaslamp Tavern -- none of this bowling alley crap like they have over in the East Village.

We'll be here for Randy Jones minutes so Padre folk can get their bearings, order a burger and beer, and maybe talk about Orlando Hudson's groin. I will partake in all three.

After having grabbed a bite to eat and depositing roughly 5 beers into a thinning blood stream we are faced with the sternest challenge of the day -- a three block walk down 5th Ave to . . .

FRED'S: 1:43pm- 2:02pm (19 minutes)
527 5th Ave (between Market and Island)

This next leg of the crawl was supposed to be at my favorite Irish pub, The Field. Unfortunately, word has it that they have an Opening Day related event scheduled and it's all sold out.

Never fear, Fred's is here.

In between drinks of crappy Mexican beer  we can challenge each other with salsa shooters just to see who's more manly/womanly. And stupid.

If you so desire, go ahead and order a quick bite to eat.

But be quick because you only get Gwynn minutes and then we're off to an around the corner spot . . .

TIVOLI: 2:06pm- 2:25pm (19 minutes)
505 6th Ave (corner of 6th and Island)

Here we'll meet at the oldest bar in the Gaslamp, a watering hole where the legendary Wyatt Earp once drank and did other things that lawmen aren't typically supposed to do.

At Tivoli you can purchase opium just like the days of yore or you can settle for a cheap beer in a plastic cup on account of the owner not trusting patrons with glass on game days. With the Dodgers and their "fans" in town, a wise entrepreneurial decision no doubt.

Enjoy your plastic cup full of beer out on the patio for Gwynn minutes and then start pounding concrete to the last public house on the crawl . . .

BUB'S: 2:30pm-3:21pm (51 minutes)
715 J St (between 7th Ave and 8th Ave)

Bub's is perfectly located next to the park so it's a natural last stop. Apparently it is also a "Pittsburgh Steelers fan bar" which makes it perfectly fucked up. But it's not football season so who cares!

Its spacious and has a talented group of young ladies on the tap handles.

 You'll have Hoffy minutes to enjoy before we head over to PETCO Park to take in the pomp and circumstance that is, Opening Day 2012.

PETCO PARK 3:30pm- until LA loses.
19 Tony Gwynn Drive

You can go inside the park or you can camp-out beneath this sign.

If you choose the latter be prepared for the po-po to regulate your transient ass, because honestly, you do look homeless and the city would be best served if you were wallowing in your own piss over on 14th and Island.

I digress.

This is the one day of the year where, as a baseball fan, the only sentiment that exists is one of hope. Sometimes the hope is reinforced but often in San Diego it is crushed.

During those painful times when hope is in question it's always good to have friends by your side. I hope to see you there.

And if not, do enjoy the game.

The Gwynn Opener: A Requirement For Fans

About a month ago I unpinned the wall calendar and set it on the table.

The time had come to map out the opening week of the baseball season which coincided fortuitously with my vacation.

I told the Mrs. that I wanted Opening Day against the Giants on April 5th but that of equal importance was the second home game the next day.

I didn't explain the importance of that second game. But in so many ways, it was far more important than the home opener. You see, this was The Gwynn Opener.


According to Gwynn the home opener was always a blast. The pomp and circumstance, the sellout crowd, the bunting. I mean, who doesn't love red white and blue bunting? Tony loved it. But he said it was not his favorite of days. Tony Gwynn loved the day after the opener.

I tried to search out an exact quote from Gwynn on this matter and sure enough it was referenced by none other than Tom Krasovic, today on his blog. While covering the game Kras came across #19 on his way to the broadcast booth. Kras writes:

The day after the Padres' home opener typically was Tony Gwynn's favorite day of the baseball year, so it was only appropriate that Mr. Padre walked into Petco Park on Wednesday afternoon, smile on face one day after San Diego sold out and won its home opener.

"This is my day, yeah, ha, ha, ha," he said. "You find out who's who. Sellout crowd yesterday, so we'll find out today who the real fans are."

Perhaps it is a bit harsh to say those who don't show-up the day after Opening Day aren't real fans. But I get the sentiment that Tony expressed, and if you were at today's game you would too.

As a Padre fan, today was an embarrassment. I knew it would be. There was black and there was orange. The cacophony of endless Giants chants coupled with an ambush of Padres starter Tim Stauffer conspired to beat me into submission. Today at PETCO was not dissimilar to the general disrespect that accompanies an unwanted house guest. Feet up on the table, loud.

Perhaps the unwanted house guest syndrome wouldn't be an issue if Padre fans chose to adhere to The Gwynn Opener as part of their opening week rituals.

It's difficult to make binding promises years in advance but I will make it a goal to always attend the Padres' home opener because it is a meaningful symbol of renewal each spring.

And even more importantly I will make the effort to attend The Gwynn Opener. I will attend as a show of respect to the greatest Padre of them all... but to also keep the riffraff at bay. I don't like the feet of house guests propped up on my furniture. And I certainly don't like orange.

Baseball's Opening Week And Bringing Back The Brown

I broke out the calendar the other day so as to properly document the hall passes I will be needing during the first week of April. The Padres open up against the Cardinals (3/31) in St. Louis and then return home to face the Giants (4/5 - 4/6) and Dodgers (4/8 - 4/10).

I submitted my requests and they were all approved. Given adequate notice most requests are granted without incident. I'll be attending both Giants games as well as the Friday night game against the Dodgers. This is extra special because I'll be on vacation during that week which will maximize the baseball experience. Speaking of extra special...

I also penciled in Sunday 4/3 when the Padres will be closing out their series in St. Louis. The general plan is to meet up at Randy Jones All American Grill to watch the game but to also kick off the Bring Back The Brown campaign. RJ may make an appearance but regardless of whether the Fro'd one appears, fun will be had.

Padres fans with an appreciation for the team's history and the color brown have the opportunity to meet-up, cheer, mingle, and collectively curse the color blue.*

More details will be forthcoming but take this as your invitation. Stop on by.

*The color blue is awesome unless used in conjunction with Padres uniforms or in discussing the Los Angeles Dodgers.