The Week In Padres: my internal clock has been destroyed

This is where I write a post about not writing posts.
I made a comment last Sunday about Dick Enberg and his constant love of the enemy and then figured I'd a-keep-on-a-rolling with my commentary as I entered this week. I'd have plenty to say as the plan was to get out to the park on Monday to see the Padres battle the Giants for NL West supremacy. I went to the park.....and my body clock hasn't been the same since....

MONDAY:
I bought a park pass for 5 bucks. When I tried to sneak down to a prime location I was caught by Stan the Usher and sent packing. It was OK. I parked up in the standing room only section positioned behind home plate and chatted with a Giants fan for the rest of the game. I enjoyed telling the fan about Matt Cain's Curse and how they had better win tonight because they had NO CHANCE against Latos on Tuesday night.

Truth be told, it's one of the best seats (errr...standing locations) in the park. Great view (although you can't see the jumbo-tron) of a game. I even had a great view of the yahoos who ran on to the field during the 9th inning.....at which point my week began to unravel. The delay that these clowns caused ensured that I wouldn't be getting home until an unsuitably late hour.....an hour that would be sure to have an adverse affect on my systems' functions for the remainder of the week. Sure enough, while excited about a Padre victory, I woke up pretty tired on Tuesday morning. (click "Read More" to continue)

TUESDAY
Tuesday's game was a disaster. The Padres lost with Latos on the hill.....but the loss was so much worse than that. It was an extra innings loss. Losing in extras is excruciating! So disappointing as we failed to win in regulation (Adams gave up the game tying dong in the 8th) thus setting the stage for another long game. Don't get me wrong......I enjoy extras......but I was tired......I needed to catch-up.

WEDNESDAY
Wednesday's game was awesome in that it was all of the following:

• A win!
• A win by an impressive margin (10-5)!
• A win against the Dodgers!
• A near cycle by Will Venable!

Wednesday's game was an utter nightmare sequence in that it was all of the following:

• A game in which Jon Garland pitched!

Seriously.....for a game that ended in 9 innings it felt like a 3-OT Stanley Cup conference final game. Take Garland's deliberate presence and put it in tandem with an offensive outburst and you have the makings of an eternity. I've been calling Jon Garland "The Mike Hargrove". I think that nickname could just as easily be interchanged with Jon "Extra Innings" Garland. He may not pitch into extras but I sure feel like I've been taken there.

The game ended. I was still tired...

THURSDAY
I was dead to the world on Thursday. The lack of sleep caught up to me and I shattered world records for complete uselessness. I watched a little of the game. I watched all of Lost. I checked the score in the 8th. I went to sleep.

FRIDAY
Right. Disappointed to find there there was no comeback against Kershaw and company and the Padres took a 4-1 loss. Friars still in first. I am well rested.......time to prepare for our HATED inter-league rival. Seattle Mariners on tap this weekend.

The San Diego Padres Pitcher Formerly Known As Jon Garland

It's no secret that one of the most prevalent criticisms, 15 games into the 2010 schedule, is that Padres starting pitcher Jon Garland works at about the same pace that molasses pours from a jar.

It has been noticed and commented on ad nauseam. It is a fair criticism of Garland but one that may have gone unnoticed had he, as the one big winter FA pick-up, gotten off to a better start this April (0-2).

With Garland slated to pitch earlier this afternoon and a winter rain storm sent to San Diego from the Alaskans, I provided an obvious quip via twitter:

I claim no originality in making a statement regarding Jon Garland's pitching "process"....a process that references the original "Human Rain Delay", Mike Hargrove. In fact it was so unoriginal that I'm sure there were multiples of fans who had made the same allusion before and after I had done so this afternoon. Which brings us to the crux of this post: what should Jon Garland's nickname be? (click "Read More" to continue)



While the moniker, "The Human Rain Delay", has made its way into the Urban Dictionary it was previously attributed to former Cleveland Indian and one time Padre, Mike Hargrove, for his antics inside the batters box. The descriptor eventually attached itself to pitcher Steve Trachsel* for his deliberate mound presence. How could we in good conscience designate Jon Garland with a nickname as used up as (____fill in the blank with your rude epithet of choice____)? The answer is that we can't......

While others refer to Mr. Garland as Judy, Avenging Jack Murphy shall forevermore refer to him as:

"THE MIKE HARGROVE"

The Mike Hargrove pitched an outstanding game today......according to the box score......sorry I missed the game**. The Mike Hargrove was credited with the win after throwing 92 pitches in 7 complete innings. The Padres are in sole possession of 1st place (9-6) after sweeping both Arizona and San Francisco and I couldn't be happier to see them taking full advantage of their home park. All the credit today however goes to Jed Hoyer's one big off-season signing.......The Mike Hargrove.

* Steve Trachsel was an a-hole! I remember when he pitched for the Cubs and gave up HR #62 to Mark McGwire. I recall him griping that a fan didn't deserve to cash in on the reward that would have accompanied possession of the historic shot and that he was glad it barely cleared the wall out of the reach of St Louis' fans. Cool move, guy.
** As I did not see the game I can neither confirm nor deny if The Mike Hargrove put any of his defenders to sleep with his on-the-mound-lolly-gagging.