Kevin Acee takes it upon himself to write about the Padres after winning a game of Candy Land with Nick Canepa

In the interest of fairness it is my duty to type kind words towards the U-T's Kevin Acee.

It took a week but a U-T columnist finally acknowledged the contract extension of Carlos Quentin. Of course the catalyst for the Quentin mention was the off-the-wall extension of closer Huston Street, but hey, complainers can't quibble. Or can they . . .


Of course they can! But I'm not going to.  I'll just suggest that you go read Kevin Acee's column, Street signing points in right direction,  providing this tasty nugget for you:

Clearly, what’s underway is an attempt to reverse history, to stem the attrition and to no longer be awful.

I enjoyed this line. Pointed and accurate, it's a piece of criticism that the Padres are deserving of, no matter how many positives future generations of ownership perform. The ownership of the hour in San Diego will always be paying for the sins of their Padres*. It is a disappointing reality based on more than 40 years of pain.

*Do you see what I did there? Padres = Fathers? Oh never mind.

And what of the Huston Street extension? When I heard that extension talks were underway with Street, despite his excellent numbers, I thought it was ludicrous! When I heard that the Padres and Street consummated the deal on Sunday I was incredulous!

Then I saw the terms of the deal. Two years at $7M annually for a relatively young guy who currently earns more than that in 2012? I'm not sure what Street's thought process is but I think that this was a good deal for the Padres. This is the deal the Padres would have liked to have given Heath Bell which we now see would have been like wiping our rear ends with $14M and then pissing on it and lighting it on fire. A disgusting proposition.

Huston Street's K/9 has jumped by 3 over the previous two seasons. Will this rate continue? If not what will Street look like as a Padre? And by what will Street look like as a Padre, I don't mean in 2013 and 2014, but in a matter of days?

In closing, I'm glad that Nick Canepa didn't write the linked column from above.

Are we there yet?

Twisting and turning north on Interstate 5, I attempted to quiet my mind.

On a road trip there are no real expectations to have of children other than the frequency in which you will hear the inevitable, "Are we there yet?"

All bets are off on the road. The only given is whether the aforementioned question will be proposed more or less than 19 times.

I had already received the Children's Inquisition twelve times after a mere 45 minutes into what would ultimately prove to be a 6 hour road trip to California's central coast. I could only laugh, the shoe now firmly on the other foot as an adult*.

*This stage of development is often questionable.

Driving through San Juan Capistrano, my mind silent, I thought back to my family's arrival in California.

I looked at Mrs. AJM and said, "Father AJM had initially thought of relocating us to Orange County rather than San Diego."

She submitted a nod and question. "Really?"

Looking ahead at the armada of Sunday afternoon break lights, which become more prevalent as one transitions to Los Angeles, I nodded in affirmation.

"Yeah . . .", my voice trailing off in a reflective pause.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mrs. AJM waiting for more, as if to say, "You're the one who brought it up. What's your point?"

I acquiesced.

"Yeah. If my parents would have moved to Orange County I 'd be an Angels fan. And then my life would have been a lot easier."

Mrs. AJM laughed.

From the back of the car I heard a committed, "Are we there yet?"

Lucky number thirteen! There was little doubt that this trip would be recollected for hitting the "over" on the Children's Inquisition very early in the day.

When we arrived in Pismo Beach yesterday I learned that the Padres had extended Huston Street: Two years at $7M a piece. Surprised that Street would take less than he's earning in 2012 for the guarantee of an extra year on his contract I thought back to Carlos Quentin's contract extension of a week ago.

As a Padres fan I silently asked, "Are we there yet?"

The Padres have more issues to address than just a left fielder and a closer. Of course the Padres aren't there yet! Like the AJM family 45 minutes into a six hour drive there's still driving to be done . . .

***
I watched the Red Sox play the Yankees last night with a sick daughter. She said, "Why are people Yankees fans?"

I didn't have the heart to feed her propaganda in such a weakened state. I opted to tell her the truth...

***
XX1090 comes in perfectly all the way up here in the Central Coast. I haven't met any Padres fans yet...

***
I totally just went Nick "Sez Me" Canepa on you. %&*#! I apologize...

***
...

A Modest Proposal For Huston Street's 9th Inning Music

During Saturday's Fanfest at PETCO Park, Huston Street addressed his Closer's Music for 2012 while sitting on a forum panel moderated by Mud Grant. He said it would be a surprise. I have an opinion on this . . .

Since 1998 there have been two songs* San Diego Padres fans have heard in the 9th inning of a close game: Hells Bells for Trevor Hoffman and Heath Bell's Blow Me Away. Fourteen seasons with little variation, a remarkable feat.

*In 2003 Rod Beck took over for an injured Trevor Hoffman and saved 20 games. Who knows how Shooter would have rolled . . .

Is the discussion of entrance music frivolous? Yes. Am I going to write something about it regardless? Yes. Is my idea going to be more radical? Is it an election year?*

* Answering a question with a question is the way forward. Write that down . . .
When Huston Street was acquired by the San Diego Padres on December 7th, 2011 fans immediately chimed in with the obvious suggestions for 9th inning entrance music, most of which included the words Street or Streets referenced. But we don't need music from U2, The Cure, or the motion picture soundtrack to Annie*.

*I live in a household of females. Reserve judgement lest ye be judged yourself.

In my mind however, there's only one real song choice for Huston Street. I can't resist the idea that Street Fighting Man should be his music for the remainder of his time in San Diego.*

*A career which may or may not last past July 31st of this year.

But I wasn't talking about the Rolling Stones' Street Fighting Man. I much prefer a call to war: Rage Against The Machine's version of Street Fighting Man.

In 2000 RATM released Renegades, a collection of militant/anti-establishment/call-to-revolution type cover-songs. It featured a gritty, hard-edged Street Fighting Man that would subsequently be featured when ever someone wanted to show video footage of backyard revolution:

Whether this song played as the soundtrack  to Protestant and Catholic clashes in Northern Ireland or to the recent revolutions on the Arab Street the connotations were manifest: Rage!!!

Could this song get a moribund crowd to their feet during the 9th inning of a 2-1 game at PETCO?*

*Rhetorical question, you twit.

But Street Fighting Man is only one part of San Diego's 9th inning revolution, my good people.

While Huston Street charges out of the pen and begins his warm-up tosses there must be some sort of video montage projecting throughout the park. And since it's an election year I propose that the Padres focus on our current backyard revolution -- the battle against MLB to get ownership approved, specifically as it relates to current Arizona Diamondbacks owner Ken Kendricks and his vendetta against former partner and current Padres owner, Jeffrey Moorad.

I want a video montage with Samuel L. Jackson crushing snakes. I want to see video stills of Arizona Diamondbacks logos bursting into flames. There needs to be lots of fire! The city of Phoenix? Fire! Every place in the greater-Phoenix area should be ablaze with fire. A burning metropolis, one in which, only Peoria* survives the fury.

*The Seattle Mariners' locker room at the Peoria Sports Complex should burn to the ground.

Video stills of Ken Kendricks? He's the devil. He. Should. Be. ON. FIRE! Kendricks should have protruding horns from his ample forehead. And be holding a pitch fork! And he should be . . . on fire!!! There should be Molotov cocktails soaring through the air with Chase Field set in a fiery background. Chase Field's fate? Burned to the ground! This revolution shall be televised! Yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Kevin Towers and Sean Burroughs? Horns. Pitchforks. Fire!!! The literal bonds between the organizations of Arizona and San Diego . . . MUST BURN*!

*We will spare former Kearney Komet, Alan Trammel.

The video shall end with Jeff Moorad and Tom Garfinkel standing on the cliffs of Torrey Pines bellowing, "We are the San Diego Padres. And we approve of this message."

In summation: Rage Against The Machine's Street Fighting Man, Samuel L. Jackson, dying snakes, fire, connotations of devils, and more fire.

Good luck to Huston Street and the 2012 San Diego Padres.