Showing posts with label Josh Byrnes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Josh Byrnes. Show all posts

Friday, August 3, 2012

Cuckoo for Nick Canepa: A telephone call to discuss how Chase Headley is still not Mike Schmidt

Following Kevin Acee's lead, Nick Canepa used Thursday morning's edition of the U-T to finally throw his two cents into the mix regarding Josh Byrnes' deadline non-moves and extensions.

I called out both columnists last week for not writing anything about the Quentin extension and it kind of pissed Canepa off. What can I say . . . I'm cuckoo.

Nick Canepa's Thursday column was pretty well written. I found myself nodding my head in agreement. And then the whole column unraveled.

As Canepa praised Josh Byrnes and my head nodded, a familiar jewel emerged:
What a professional July for Byrnes. He extended the contracts of left fielder Carlos Quentin and closer Huston Street and refused to give away Headley, who isn’t Mike Schmidt but may be his most reliable position player.
 Wut the wut? Didn't Nick use this same Mike Schmidt reference a couple of weeks ago?

I could not let this comparison stand! I decided to call Nick Canepa and record the call for your enjoyment . . .


[Pleasantries exchanged. Loathing confirmed.]

AJM: Who is Mike Schmidt?

CANEPA: Seriously? He was a third baseman for the Phillies.

AJM: Did he have a mustache?

CANEPA: Yes. What's your point?

AJM: I'm trying to figure something out, be patient. Was he a switch hitter?

CANEPA: That's the problem with young people. Asking if Michael Jack Schmidt was a switch hitter? You're an idiot.

AJM: I meant sexually.

CANEPA: What?

AJM: Never mind. Did he win MVP awards?

CANEPA: Three, Senor Internet writer. Avenging Jack Murphy. What a bunch of crap.

AJM: Be patient. Did he win gold gloves?

CANEPA: He was the best. How old are you?

AJM: My age is not relevant to this discussion.

CANEPA: Your brain is not germane to this discussion.

AJM: German? I'm not German. What does that have to . . .

CANEPA: What is the point of all of this?

AJM: Sorry. If Chase Headley shaved his beard but kept his mustache would he kind of be like Mike Schmidt?

CANEPA: Have you even seen Schmidt's mustache? His mustache was the Johnny Weismuller of mustaches.

AJM: Who?

CANEPA: Its an Olympics reference. That's the problem with people today, they don't appreciate yesterday. You've probably never even seen a Bogart film.

AJM: I forgot what, oh wait. Bogart?

CANEPA: Bogart! Do you even read my columns before you lampoon them?

AJM: Let's move this along, sir. I know you're busy. Has anyone ever really suggested that Chase Headley is Mike Schmidt? I'm pretty sure everyone is aware that he's good, and could have value to many teams, but that he's no Hall of Famer. Certainly no Mike Schmidt.

CANEPA: I'm trying to make a point by using the Schmidt reference ad nauseum.

AJM: Well, I don't get it.

CANEPA: Good god, don't you people have a sense of humor? Would it have worked better if I had written that Chase Headley is no Joe Randa?

AJM: [... smiles...]

AJM: [...squeals like school girl...]

AJM: [... quickly hangs up phone...]

AJM; [... goes and writes in diary...]

*I didn't actually call Nick Canepa. This is merely an imagined phone-call Q&A with Nick Canepa.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Kevin Acee takes it upon himself to write about the Padres after winning a game of Candy Land with Nick Canepa

In the interest of fairness it is my duty to type kind words towards the U-T's Kevin Acee.

It took a week but a U-T columnist finally acknowledged the contract extension of Carlos Quentin. Of course the catalyst for the Quentin mention was the off-the-wall extension of closer Huston Street, but hey, complainers can't quibble. Or can they . . .


Of course they can! But I'm not going to.  I'll just suggest that you go read Kevin Acee's column, Street signing points in right direction,  providing this tasty nugget for you:
Clearly, what’s underway is an attempt to reverse history, to stem the attrition and to no longer be awful.
I enjoyed this line. Pointed and accurate, it's a piece of criticism that the Padres are deserving of, no matter how many positives future generations of ownership perform. The ownership of the hour in San Diego will always be paying for the sins of their Padres*. It is a disappointing reality based on more than 40 years of pain.

*Do you see what I did there? Padres = Fathers? Oh never mind.

And what of the Huston Street extension? When I heard that extension talks were underway with Street, despite his excellent numbers, I thought it was ludicrous! When I heard that the Padres and Street consummated the deal on Sunday I was incredulous!

Then I saw the terms of the deal. Two years at $7M annually for a relatively young guy who currently earns more than that in 2012? I'm not sure what Street's thought process is but I think that this was a good deal for the Padres. This is the deal the Padres would have liked to have given Heath Bell which we now see would have been like wiping our rear ends with $14M and then pissing on it and lighting it on fire. A disgusting proposition.

Huston Street's K/9 has jumped by 3 over the previous two seasons. Will this rate continue? If not what will Street look like as a Padre? And by what will Street look like as a Padre, I don't mean in 2013 and 2014, but in a matter of days?

In closing, I'm glad that Nick Canepa didn't write the linked column from above.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Ripping Craig Elsten's guts out and lighting them on FIRE!

Last night on XX1090 I ripped Craig Elsten's guts out and lit them on FIRE!

I kid, I kid! I am but a merry prankster in the unforgiving world of Padres fandom. There were no guts and there was certainly no fire . . .  except the fire that burns from my heart for undervalued players who attempt to etch out an existence in the vast wilderness of PETCO Park.

This is simply my way of saying that Craig and I had a friendly little debate flavored by Chase Headley's future in San Diego. Let me give you some context first . . .


Craig wrote a column on XX1090 which posted on Tuesday. I recommend that you go read it but if you haven't the time the essentials of his argument are as follows (paraphrasing):
Chase Headley is an average player who is overvalued in the current market and should be traded to improve the Padres chances moving forward.
I only partially agree with Craig's thesis. If Josh Byrnes can make some desperate GM pay through the nose consequently converting Headley into a package of dynamic near-ready major league talent then sure, go for it. But as we know in these parts things don't always work according to plan. It is Josh Byrnes' job to listen and to perform his due diligence, as they say in the industry..

Where I disagreed with Craig was his estimation of Chase Headley as an average player. Chase Headley is not a player to build around but he is an important part of the PETCO Park roster puzzle.

Listen to last night's debate on XX1090: Includes 9 essential vitamins and minerals along with Jedd Gyorko, Dave Staton, and Joe Randa references.

Editor's Note:
Jordan Carruth declared me the winner of last night's debate. You be the judge.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Carlos Quentin's NTC is not my biggest fear

In some ways I'm surprised by the Carlos Quentin extension and in other ways I'm just not.

Quentin is a guy who likely would have brought a return of value at the deadline so staying put in San Diego guaranteed for the next three years came as a bit of a shock yesterday. There are also the injury concerns that make this move surprising.


The offense has improved since Carlos Quentin's return from knee surgery and his presence in the middle of the order is a part of that resurgence. He's a guy who can pop it out of PETCO after 8pm* and the batting order needs at least one of those threats. Throwing a little bit of money at Quentin, along with the impending ownership change, provides a message of hope to fans. San Diego Padres fans are in dire need of this. I'm a big believer in hope. And belief.

*I don't have quantifiable proof that this has happened but I sense it. I sense that Quentin has muscles that are capable of such a feat. His 5 o'clock shadow** also portends late hour tower power.
** I don't even know what I mean. I'm just rationalizing now.

As I said,  I'm surprised and I'm not surprised.

So what's the problem? People are concerned about the full NTC* that General Manager Josh Byrnes granted Quentin. Worries from fans seem to be rooted in the days of Klesko, Nevin, and Giles. This is a legitimate worry. I don't think that offering NTCs will become this front office's MO but if it does then I will start sharing your fears.

The truth of the matter is that Carlos Quentin is a legitimate threat** and if the Padres are ever going to retain/lure a hitter like that to PETCO they'll have to overpay in some fashion. The Padres are overpaying with the NTC but that's OK. A major league franchise should be able to survive salaries of $9.5 million, $9.5 million, and $8 million over the next three years. As fans we shouldn't expect the Padres to have the financial flexibility and wherewithal to just begin dumping salary each July if they aren't competing. A major league team who can't aford salaries like this for an entire 162 game schedule should just be contracted.

*No Trade Clause. Not, No Timewarner Cable. Not, North Times County (because that wouldn't make sense).
** At the plate. And in the field but in a bad way. Cameron Maybin? Shade yourself to LF, young buck.

Carlos Quentin will never go the way of Phil Nevin. We won't hear of Park complaints. We won't read curse words from the lips of Quentin as he walks off the field and looks to Josh Byrnes' suite at PETCO. That's not who the Padres signed.

Now if you want to be as fearful as a father of a teenage daughter on prom night* that Carlos Quentin won't be on the field for 60% of all future Padres games due to injury -- well, then that there is a legitimate concern. Join me in that line, won't you?

*This is my future. It could be yours as well. And if you have a son you better teach him some respect. I don't have shotgun. And I really don't need one.

Notes: Interesting Fangraphs write-up on the extension.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Finding Stray Quarters. And Pitchers

Yesterday I found stray quarters beneath the seat cushion in my vehicle. There were three quarters, and they were together. By together I mean they were side by side, shiny, staring at me, edges touching as if preordained. This is an uncommon find but an important one nonetheless, good reader!

You see, as I found these three quarters, I felt like the Padres. More precisely I felt like Padres General Manager/Philosopher, Josh Byrnes. I now had a better handle on what it means to be a Big Believer In Belief.

Having difficulty understanding the significance of this event*? Let me explain.

*Yes I just referred to finding three quarters as an "event".


I don't believe in paying for parking downtown. Others feel similarly. In fact it's probably the biggest complaint* Padres fans have regarding a trip downtown for a game. Because I'm loathe to pay for parking I do my best to minimize this cost. This is possible to do. All it takes is the right parking meter and a few quarters. What do I mean by the right meter? There are meters downtown that allow you to park for up to 9 hours and it only costs 0.50 cents/hour. So if a game starts at 7:05 and you're intent on arriving early (meters must be plugged until 6pm) so you can get yourself to Lolita's before the line goes nuts then you can likely park for less than a buck. You see what I'm saying? Quarters are like gold in this situation.

*Aside from the regular complaints about the fences, uniforms, run suppressing atmospheric conditions, constant strikeouts, poor defense, Bud Black's peculiar line-ups, belligerent ushers who despise cheering fans who stand, inability to lock up players long term, and the absence of Gulden's brown mustard at concession stands.

Quarters are like gold. Except they're not. They're important in the context I've just explained but I still only found 0.75 cents. With inflation, I can hardly purchase a can of soda-pop with that much money. Those quarters have value but when all is told, they won't get me too far down the road of life. Those quarters are a symbol, though. Those quarters are like the arms Josh Byrnes continues to acquire in an effort to stem the endless stream of pitchers headed to the disabled list in 2012.

While I basked in the thrill of finding three quarters Josh Byrnes one-upped me by scouring the earth and finding four: Jeff Supan, Jason Marquis, Ross Ohlendorf, Kipp Wells. 

Yes, these guys are the quarters beneath my seat. These individuals are the discolored little quarters that, due to melting kid snacks, have become caked in a syrupy residue, consequently absorbing all stray hairs and synthetic fibers found in the bowels of my car. I intend no disrespect to these gentlemen as human beings nor do I wish to offend the utility of the quarter.

Signed as a free agent in February, 37 year-old Jeff Supan went 2-3 with a 5.28 ERA before being given his walking papers in early June. Jeff Supan was an old quarter, found resting idly in some California  restaurant. He's not even one of those new, cool, quarters representing a state. Jeff Supan was just an old worn down quarter from 1975, now likely taken out of circulation forever.

An old 1978 quarter in the form of 33 year-old Jason Marquis and his mustache rolled into town from Minnesota on May 29th. As a Padre, Marquis carries an unimpressive 1-3 record, but a spectacular 2.05 ERA. Perhaps he's more like the cool 2001 New York quarter emblazoned with that famous gift from the French, the Statue of Liberty? With a surname like Marquis it's clear that he too was a gift from the French. Jason Marquis is liberty personified!

Ross Ohlendorf is a youngster at 29 years of age. He's like the bright beacon of hope that is the star etched on the 2004 Texas State quarter. Ross Ohlendorf is 1-0. Ross Ohlendorf has struck out 12 batters in 13.2 innings. Ross Ohlendorf's name isn't even Ross. It's Curtis. With the complete absence of caked debris so often found on stray quarters, Curtis Ross Ohlendorf is a shiny piece of prosperity!

The most recent quarter found by Josh Byrnes, goes by the name of Kip Wells, formerly of the Chicago White Sox*. The former 1st round draft pick out of Texas is similar to that quarter known as Curtis Ohlendorf -- but without the star. Wells is older than dirt and that star has worn away. Last night against the Houston Astros, Wells took the loss while surrendering 5 runs, only 2 of which were earned. But when you throw 5 innings, giving up 7 hits and 3 walks the odds are never in your favor.

*The city of San Diego acknowledged this kindness from Chicago by granting exclusive negotiating rights to former North County Times beat writer, Dan Hayes. 

What does all of this mean? 'Tis difficult to surmise. The only thing I can be certain of is that the next time I go downtown, my parking is paid for . . . and the odds are good that Josh Byrnes will be showing off some new (old) quarter he came upon.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Nick Canepa is not unlike a 12 year-old

Last evening, Nick Canepa of the UT opined:
Where’s the hook? Why should the people who spend money for tickets want to watch these Padres? And, if a star develops, will he spend more than a few years here before he becomes too expensive, a la Adrian Gonzalez and Bell? The ship carrying a Tony Gwynn sailing forever on the USS San Diego Discount has sailed.
I find Nick Canepa's reasoning intellectually dishonest. He acts like the San Diego Padres are the only team who fail to keep their players as they become free-agents when in reality it's pretty difficult for any team to do it.

Adrian Gonzalez, acquired for nearly nothing in the winter of 2005, entered the same zip code* as Albert Pujols in terms of his production and proceeded to price himself out of the plans of nearly every major league team. So the Padres did what they had to do and moved him for controllable players. But the Padres did what approximately 25 of the other  MLB franchises would be forced to do. Worth mentioning?

*Maybe not zip code. State?

And since I mentioned Pujols let me also remind Nick Canepa that the slugger's former employer failed to keep him in St. Louis for the duration of his career. The Cardinals are a team with a massive following, sell-out crowds, and money in the coffers yet Pujols was only allowed to stay as long as his contract remained team friendly. Now Albert Pujols is an Angel.

Nick Canepa cites the departure of Heath Bell as another example of a player becoming too expensive. But that's not the truth. Heath bell became too expensive to offer a contract for a third year*. The Padres only wanted to be committed for two years. But why such a short commitment, Nick? Let us count the ways -- he's fat, with declining strikeout numbers, and a large crooked number for his age. Isn't it being responsible for the Padres to find another resource to fill a position that is only utilized for 70 innings per year? In Nick Canepa's mind the answer is clearly no or he would have referenced Huston Street and the flexibility of his contract in terms of both years and dollars.

*At which time he would be 37.

I'm not beyond criticizing my favorite baseball team but let's be honest about it. If Nick Canepa had asked when the Padres were going to start locking-up its younger players (see Cameron Maybin) similar to the way the Tampa Bay Rays have done I'd probably be applauding him right here. Maybe mention Jonah Keri's The Extra 2% and how the Rays have found success with such strategies as did the Indians in the 1990s. And then mention that JOSH BYRNES WAS WITH THE INDIANS DURING THAT PERIOD OF TIME! YES! THE GUY IN THE PICTURE OF YOUR COLUMN!!!!

Canepa can't do this though. Perhaps the requisite research is above his pay-grade. Instead he gives us the same old arguments about the Padres when the reality is that the vast majority of teams can't keep players once they pass the threshold of super-stardom. These arguments, read by casual Padres fans, are then taken as gospel and repeated ad nauseum. The angry parishioners want answers and Canepa is their prophet. But they're receiving answers from someone who argues like a 12 year old*.

*From time to time I have the opportunity to work with 12 year-olds. These kids are fun but intellectually they aren't quite ready to put forth the effort to support their opinions -- because it requires work. Eventually they grow out of this condition. Well, most do.

As for Nick Canepa's question regarding why should Padres fans show up this season, I guess my answer would sound something like this: Because I love baseball?*

Absent gross malfeasance by the organization, isn't that reason enough?

*I could have also answered Canepa with more detail. More support of my opinions, if you will.

After the 2011 season he Padres added a bunch of pieces to a team in dire need of pieces and I'm curious to see the new formula in action. 

Under the tutelage of Darren Balsley, will Edinson Volquez return to the form that netted Josh Hamilton in a trade back in 2007? 

Will Yonder Alonso show the left-handed swing tauted as perfect for PETCO park? 

Will Cameron Maybin continue to show the abilities that have fans clamoring for a long term extension? 

Will Chase Headley and Tim Stuaffer continue to make strides forward?

Will Corey Leubke become a name known outside of San Diego? 

Does Carlos Quentin have a swing that plays in PETCO? Is he the anti-Ludwick?

Has the gutted bullpen been rebuilt because it's looking like there's some promise with Street, Cashner, and Boxberger? 

How many of the players from the number one system in Major League baseball (according to Keith Law), will make it to San Diego this summer? 

And I want to see the Padres beat up on the Dodgers, Giants, and Diamondbacks because Idisdain their existence.


I could come up with a few more intriguing questions/reasons but I'm at my threshold for words. Enjoy Fanfest if you're going tomorrow.

Monday, February 6, 2012

African Proverbs: The Padres Front Office Edition

While using African proverbs to identify Orlando Hudson's numerous missteps in a Padres uniform I also found a few others to explain the happenings down on 19 Tony Gwynn Drive. They didn't quite fit with the discussion of San Diego's second baseman so here they are in a post teeming with optimism...

 

If your cornfield is far from your house, the birds will eat your corn. ~ Pygmy proverb

 

What better way to explain the Padres decision to move their AAA club from Portland to Tucson with the endgame being a subsequent move to the Escondido area. Alas, California is a mess and with no redevelopment money coming the Tucson Padres are stuck in-- well, Tucson. Currently it is unclear if the birds represent the dry desert air that destroys the minds of pitchers and the mechanics of hitters or if the Nippon-Ham Fighters have advanced scouts in place. We may need a Pygmy to solve this one.

 

One cannot both feast and become rich.  ~Ashanti proverb

 

This is clearly a proverb never considered by teams like the Yankees and Red Sox. They need not consider it because they live in another dimension. It's a fantasy world, one in which money does fall from trees. The Padres, on the other hand, face a far different plight. The San Diego club in many ways serves as a microcosm of the lifestyle most Americans must choose. Sacrifices must be made before rewards can be reaped. Slowly the Padres payroll is creeping upwards. Responsibly.

 

Blind belief is dangerous. ~ Luyia proverb

 

While blind belief is dangerous belief in and of itself is not. Belief accompanied by probing questions. Belief in the process. Belief in your people. Belief in the belief that "Believe SD" was a winning marketing slogan for an overachieving 2010 Padres team that played meaningful ballgames until game #162. What I'm saying is, that it's essential to believe in belief. Not blind belief, mind you. Just to be Big Believers In Belief. Ask Josh Byrnes.

 

A messenger cannot be beaten. ~ Luyia proverb

 

In 2009 Padres President and COO, Tom Garfinkel, proclaimed that San Diego was and forever shall be a Breakfast Town. This was not his message. He was merely the messenger for what Rolf Benirschke had conveyed to him over, conveniently, breakfast. While Garfinkel received a lambasting for the insinuation that he knew San Diego after such a brief tenure in town, something funny happened. We (I) decided that as lovers of breakfast perhaps San Diego is a breakfasttown. Now in the AJM household every Tuesday night is Breakfast for Dinner night and the omniscient Garfinkel sits back and smiles. While Mr. Garfinkel receives holiday cards from the Vocal Minority he sends his to the Luyia in Kenya. He took a beating and survived.

 

You do not teach the paths of the forest to an old gorilla. ~ Congolese proverb

 

In late 2011 and early 2012 two pivotal moments occurred for the Padres. They signed Mark Kotsay to serve as a bench player and as mentor to a young club in need of leadership. The experienced clubhouse gorilla, if you will. 

 

Then Jeff Moorad attended the Baseball Owners meeting to seek approval for the full purchase of the Padres from John Moores. He was publicly rebuked. Moorad took the news calmly even though that no good bastard Ken Kendrickson of the Diamondbacks was doing everything possible to block the purchase. While John Moores flipped out and refused to vote for Bud Selig's continued stewardship of MLB, Jeffrey Moorad continued to stay the course. Calmly. Moorad understands the path.

 

Stolen things bring in misfortune. ~Kenyan proverb

 

On November 13th of 2010 the Padres obtained Cameron Maybin for Ryan Webb and Edward Mujica. On rare occasions African wisdom must be rejected.

 

Two male hippos do not stay in the same pond. ~ Azania proverb

 

After acquiring Yonder Alonso in the Mat Latos trade Padres General Manager Josh Byrnes decides that he doesn't want a Quarterback Controversy at first base with Anthony Rizzo. Rizzo is shipped to Chicago on January 6th for Andrew Cashner.

 

Money is sharper than the sword. ~ Ashanti proverb

 

In early 2012 the Padres decided to make a concerted effort to accumulate more monetary reserves. The first step in this process was to return all swords for cash-- a controversial decision to be sure, as everyone knows that swords are cool. First the trade of Adrian Gonzalez and now the Padres' surplus of swords. Nobody said it would be easy as a Padres fan.

 

Armed with the wisdom of proverbs the San Diego Padres' pilgrimage into 2012 continues.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Plunger, Quentin, Cashner, Parallel

Random thoughts raced through my mind as I plunged a toilet at 11:30 pm a few nights back. They began with the acquisition of Carlos Quentin, made their way to the Anthony Rizzo for Andrew Cashner trade, and returned full circle to where they belonged: the plunger in my hand.
After one plunges a toilet what is one supposed to do with this dripping wet, filth covered tool of liberation?

You can't just leave it in the toilet bowl; that would be dangerous. But if you place it next to the toilet you get sewage all over the floor. If you try to transport it to the shower you drip sewage on the floor. If you're lucky enough not to drip sewage on the floor it doesn't really matter because you've just deposited an excrement laden instrument into the area used for cleaning your body. This does not sound like a model of cleanliness.

As I stood in the bathroom during the late hours, finishing the plunging job at hand, this is where my thoughts drifted; What in the world do I do with this?

And then I realized this dilemma wasn't really about the plunger. It was about Carlos Quentin and Andrew Cashner. My question was really for Josh Byrnes and Padres management; What in the world do I do with this?

What do I do with this information you have provided me with? You've made trades. But I'm at a bit of a loss. You gave up arms to get a guy who plays left field, in Carlos Quentin*. But you went and got him a year before a good number of the young guys will be arriving in San Diego from the various farm affiliates. Are you going to try and extend Carlos Quentin? What do I do with this?

*Now let me be upfront. I am in no way equating Carlos Quentin with crap. I think he will perform well in PETCO Park his season and I loved what I heard from him on the Darren Smith Show last week. He sounds like the type of guy with a mental approach that can tackle the difficulties of such a large park. Now that we're clear, let's get back to that plunger and my parallel thoughts . . .

Andrew Cashner for Anthony Rizzo. A bullpen arm for one of the top prospects in the Padres system. How can I still possibly make fun of the Marlins for trading Cameron Maybin to the Padres for Edward Mujica and Ryan Webb? My laughter was predicated on the notion that relievers for position players was dumb. What do I do with this?

I've enjoyed this off season, it's been exciting. But there's a lot to digest and I keep asking myself . . . what do I do with this*?

 *Any suggestions on what to do with the plunger?

Monday, January 9, 2012

Tim Sullivan Makes-Up For What The U-T Lacks

A lot of criticism has been heaped upon segments of the San Diego media right here on this site. This past weekend I met up with some friends and when discussing the sources we seek out for information on the Padres the San Diego Union Tribune was not mentioned once.

I do not apologize for the criticism leveled.

In the interest of fairness however I need to find the time to also give praise when it is due. And it's the new year so let's shoot for a little positivity . . .

I personally like Tim Sullivan's style of writing. His references are fresh and he always puts together an intelligent piece of writing. I don't always agree with him but I never feel like I read something that was mailed-in. Merely one man's opinion.

He wrote two good columns in the last few days and I'd like to call attention to each as I think they're worth your time.

Padres GM motivated by need vs. cost of deals [January 6th, 2011]

Sullivan brings focus to the Padres actions of the last month noting how nearly every move sought to improve the team sooner than later and each also added payroll, a point that is never lost on fans.

Aside from one comment that appeared to condemn Jed Hoyer for ownership's reluctance to spend money during the last two seasons this is a fair article and worth reading.

On Sunday morning Sullivan wrote of Barry Larkin and what looks to be his sure-fire election to the Hall of Fame.

In a numbers game, Larkin now bound for Hall of Fame [January 7th, 2012]

Sullivan writes*:
In theory, a retired ballplayer does not grow more deserving with the passage of time. Unlike Emily Dickinson or Franz Kafka, his reputation cannot be enhanced by a stash of hits that are discovered posthumously.  
 I've never read Dickinson or Kafka but I understand his point. I do wish Sullivan would have made mention that, while players' stats don't change during their waiting period for potential Hall of Fame enshrinement, often the interpretations of those stats do.

The newer methods of evaluating the worth of a player are evolving and sometimes there is more than what initially meets the eye with what a player accomplished during his career. If a diary written by John F. Kennedy was found it could certainly change the way historians interpreted his presidency. It's similar with baseball, only far less important.

Two good reads by Sullivan.

* He also writes of how he no longer uses his BBWAA vote for the Hall of Fame and why. He has a pretty good point.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Hacksaw's Hacked-Quotes: Contract Extension Talk With Padres GM, Josh Byrnes

Wanting to hear Josh Byrnes comment on today's trade of Anthony Rizzo, I was presented with an opportunity cost.  I could listen and glean information from the Padres GM thus increasing my baseball IQ or I could ignore the interview and inevitably save 45 minutes of my life. The interview was a mere 5 minutes but I knew that some inane comment by Hacksaw would inevitably force me into blogging about it.

So here I am. Blogging about it . . .


After listening to the interview I saw this tweet by Saw:

The punctuation things are called quotation marks. Within the quotation marks are words. Outside of the quotation marks is a name. What this is called is a quotation.

As literate folk we are led to believe that the person in question, Josh [Byrnes], said the above statement.

In summation: Josh Byrnes said that he is talking about contract extensions with both Cameron Maybin and Chase Headley.

Except he didn't say that. How do I know? Well I listened. Then I went back and listened to make sure I wasn't crazy. And then I transcribed it.

Hacksaw: 
It had been proposed to me, that somewhere along the line in this off-season that you would start negotiating multi-year contracts to buy out arbitration with a couple of cornerstone guys. And I don't know whether that's Maybin or weather that's Headley. Are you gonna do that?
Josh Byrnes: 
We've had discussion with a few guys.
How can you feed the guy names* and then quote him (rhetorical question)? Between Scott and BR in the morning and Hacksaw in the afternoon we are surely a charmed fan base.

*There's no way Headley is getting an extension.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tear Down This Wall Mr. Byrnes-achev

On this date in 1987* West Germans gathered to hear President Ronald Reagan address a crowd in front of the Berlin Wall. This historic date, when President Reagan pleaded with Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall, marked a seminal moment in the latter 20th century.

The Berlin Wall had become a physical manifestation of the division between a communist east and a democratic and capitalist west. Moreover it served as a mental divide between these two worlds.

The barriers of the mind can mean so much more than the physical, the tangible.

The Berlin Wall. Josh Byrnes. The San Diego Padres. Take a journey with me won't you . . .



New Padres General Manager Josh Byrnes has been an active participant during the Hot Stove and while it has ruffled the feathers of some fans there's no doubt he has made the winter interesting.

But there is one thing Byrnes could do that would no doubt capture the imagination of all Padres fans. It is President Ronald Reagan's Berlin Wall speech that I use as inspiration.

I paraphrase:
We welcome change and openness; for we believe that locker room cohesion and wins go together, that the advance of our 25 man roster can only strengthen the cause of the 2012 season. There is one sign that Josh Byrnes can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of this organization as a whole and the team that takes the field in 2012. General Manager Byrnes, if you seek unity, if you seek wins for the San Diego Padres and the people of southern California, if you seek the whole as being more than the sum of its parts, come here to this locker room. Mr. Byrnes, open this locker room. Mr. Byrnes, Mr. Byrnes, tear down this wall!
Tear down this Orlando Hudson Wall in the San Diego Padres locker room, Mr. Byrnes.


We are big believers that you can do it. Make this hot stove season an unrivaled success and tear it down.

I want to thank @homersapien619 for indulging me with an excellent photo-shop of the wall inside San Diego's locker room. Homer likes beer and is a fellow believer in belief. Follow him on twitter.

*This date is a fabrication. It was not December 21st, 1987 but June 12th of that year. But it's the off-season and points must be made.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Mat Latos Became a Red and The Tri-Tip Was Cold

The other day I finally ponied-up for a Baseball Prospectus subscription. I'd been meaning to do it for sometime and now that it's the only place to read Ducksnorts it has become even more imperative.

It was Kevin Goldstein's publication of his top eleven Padres Prospects however,  that forced my hand. Goldstein's overall evaluation was that the Padres have accrued tremendous depth at their minor league levels. Awesome! Is there anything better than spending money and having an expert tell you what you want to hear? I felt like I was in . . . Las Vegas.*

I did leave the reading of this article with concerns, though.


While the system has depth it lacks superstars on the horizon. Sorry. I'm greedy.

The projections for starting pitchers also caught my eye. Reports of Erlin, Weiland, and Kelly all sounded good, with big league arrival times coming sooner than later but they all project as #3 starters.

Sorry. I'm greedy. And I want more.

The only thing that assuaged my concerns was the notion that the Padres already had an ace in the fold in the form of Mat Latos. With Latos as the #1 perhaps the inclusion of three # 3 starters could still do the trick. Happy again was I.

Almost immediately I began to hear rumblings of a Latos trade.

This didn't make sense to my simple mind. With no stud in the system, why do it? The only thing I could think was that the FO thought Latos was a bad gamble moving forward. Kind of understandable I suppose. There have always been the maturity questions. Issues of the head, coupled with the propensity for pitchers' arms to fall off their bodies, could be reason enough to move the talent. I also thought it was more an issue of the Padres listening rather than actively shopping him. Whatever. I am simple.

Yesterday I went to eat tri-tip, an annual tradition. Before I could even get to the dinner table to find that the tri-tip was cold and undercooked, I got out of the car and checked my phone. Mat Latos was no longer a Padre. I was genuinely surprised. By both the undercooked tri-tip and the departure of Latos. Tri-tip needs to have the edges charred just right. The edges weren't charred just right, though. And Latos was gone. I couldn't make sense of it all.

 Fans generally react poorly to such news, especially Padre fans who have seen players in recent history leave for unknown quantities. There were those who expected me to absolutely tEAR ThE INTerrrNETS aPArt!

I opted for a more measured response. For the most part, I decided to wait. And I decided to read...

(Part II)

*Read between the lines.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Omar Minaya And My Inner Cynic

The Padres added Omar Minaya to the front office yesterday in a capacity similar to the one held by Josh Byrnes in 2011 while Jed Hoyer was San Diego's General Manager. The UT's Bill Center writes:
“Omar’s job will be similar to what I did last year,” said Byrnes. “I’ll be traveling a lot,” added Minaya, who was the general manager of Montreal from 2002-2004 and the Mets from 2004-2010.
A native of the Dominican Republic, Minaya was the first Hispanic general manager in the major leagues. He picked the Padres over a half dozen other offers.
 I asked a Mets fan what he thought of Omar Minaya and he opined that the former New York GM is a solid evaluator of talent if not a strong general manager. So that sounds like a good thing.

But my inner cynic reads that last part by Center and I immediately attribute the Minaya signing to all of the silly Josh Byrnes details Don Norcross saw fit to provide us with last week.

On the flip side, my rational mind notes that, at least Minaya was in demand.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Minaya.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

FJM'd: Don Norcross and his subject, Padres GM Josh Byrnes

Sometimes the subject of an interview has many stupid things to say. If every stupid thing the subject says is included in the final column or the writer fails to frame it ever so precisely, unintended and overwhelming folly ensues. For both writer and subject.

I give you new Padres GM Josh Byrnes as reported so terribly by the Union Tribune's Don Norcross....


The plane carrying the victorious, bleary-eyed Boston Red Sox from St. Louis landed in Beantown at about sunrise. The Curse of the Bambino had been exorcised, the 2004 Red Sox sweeping the Cardinals in baseball’s 100th World Series, 86 years of heartache laid to rest.

Just when people were beginning to believe that Jalalabad, Afghanistan was San Diego's Sister city Don Norcross steps in to set things straight with the Boston, Massachusetts reference. I think the point would have been stronger had he mentioned Ted Williams, Bobby Doerr, Adrian Gonzalez, Theo Epstein, and Jed Hoyer.

Boston was yawning, still wiping sleep from its eyes as buses transporting the Red Sox to Fenway Park swept through downtown. But when the a.m. types realized the buses’ occupants, they celebrated.

New York is the town that never sleeps. Boston is the city that yawns. Tell me more...

Fans unfurled morning newspapers, shaking them at their heroes. Construction workers standing atop scaffolding jumped up and down.

With dwindling circulation, Don Norcross plants the seeds that will turn the UT back into a cash cow. I can't stand feeling inferior to Boston. I can read. I can unfurl a newspaper! Give me more UT. Don Norcross is a genius!

Wait . . . what is this article about?

Byrnes smiles and says, “It’d be pretty nice to bring that first World Series championship to San Diego.” 

Oh, hey! Josh Byrnes! New Padres GM! I thought this was the UT's travel section.

 In Hoyer’s place as general manager arrives Byrnes, at 41 only four years older than Hoyer, but, his perpetual smile aside, seemingly more hardened. Termination will do that. Only 18 months ago, Byrnes was pink-slipped as Arizona’s GM with five years remaining on his contract. 

An excellent job creating empathy for the new guy in town. If I signed an 8 year contract and got to sit around doing nothing while collecting the remaining 5 years I would be hardened too. Harder than a motherf*&ker!

“He was hurt, no doubt,” says Byrnes’ wife, Charity, a Mt. Carmel High graduate. “To be in this business, it’s not just a job. It sort of overcomes you and your family. He gave his heart and soul. It was very painful. To be honest, it’s not gone.

Oh lord. You included a quote from his wife, Don? She sounds like my mom after I got snubbed for All-Stars when I was 12 . . . which incidentally, was a travesty.

Moms and wives only discredit arguments, Don. They're too emotional. Charity from Mt. Carmel has discredited her husband and our GM before he's even started his first season. Way to emasculate the guy, Charity... AND Don!

“He’s moved on, but at the same time, it’s not like he roots for Arizona. Even if we were in the AL Central, he wouldn’t root for them, let alone being in the same division.”

Great. Now you're letting his wife pick a fight with Arizona? Wait. Perhaps I can get behind that sort of childlike pettiness.

So who is Josh Byrnes, the Padres’ ninth general manager as the club approaches its 44th season?

Oh, finally...

He was raised in Washington, D.C., by a single mother whom he unabashedly admits is the most influential person in his life. Sue Byrnes worked in government relations for a New York public relations firm, making the rounds in Congress.

So he's a momma's boy?

She stood on the National Mall for Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech. She worked for Bobby Kennedy and met JFK when he was president.

What does this have to do with the Padres new GM? And you're doing his poor single mother no favors by putting her name in the same circles as Jack and Bobby Kennedy.

“With my mouth wide open,” she says. “I couldn’t say anything.”

Couldn't say anything about what? About witnessing MLK's historic speech or meeting JFK?

If you're leaving me to guess then  I'm going to go with the time Josh ate his poo after it squirted out of his diaper as he ate butternut squash in his high-chair during his 18th month of life.

She volunteers for President Obama.

Now it all makes sense. This is a political piece. Mother Byrnes' socialist leanings have prepared Josh to run a franchise that requires dependence on revenue sharing from the well-to-do. This article is versatile. It could have been on the front page of the Union Tribune. Below the fold, of course.

Josh Byrnes attended private school with Jesse Jackson’s son, Yusef, and basketball star Grant Hill. Byrnes’ best friend since the age of 5 is African American.

I attended school with a star football player who robbed a doughnut store. It was not a private school. Josh Byrnes is better than my type. He's upper-crust. And now, like a proper leftist with DC beginnings, he's slumming it with a bottom feeder organization like the Padres.

Regarding his youth athletics, he says, “Often times, I was the minority on the field.”

The good readers of San Diego are questioning the inclusion of this quote by Norcross as irrelevant but I think they're missing the point. Josh Byrnes' has experience as a minority and it will be no different as an executive of a Major League Baseball franchise. Just look at the picture that accompanies this UT article. Things are never easy for guys who look like Josh Byrnes.

Speaking of youth athletics . . . I too was a minority on the field. I was one of the only ones who had the courage to attempt switch-hitting as a youngster. I looked like an athletic female. Like Jessica Biel.

On the subject of diversity, he adds, “People are different. We don’t all need to look alike and think alike.”
  
AJM Quick Poll:

More ridiculous? 
1.) Josh Byrnes' trite commentary.
2.) Don Norcross' inclusion of trite commentary.

“He was a Division I talent playing at a Division III school,” says Thad Levine, a Haverford teammate who worked with Byrnes at Colorado and is now the Texas Rangers’ assistant general manager.

Underachiever! He'll fit nicely within the San Diego sports scene.

Byrnes’ senior year, a scout checking out an Eastern University infielder asked Haverford’s coach if he had a prospect. The coach said to keep an eye on Byrnes. Byrnes hit a grand slam off the prospect, who also pitched.

So the prospect was being scouted as an infielder? But like most good athletes at small universities he also pitched? But he was being scouted as an infielder, not a pitcher? And Josh Byrnes hit a home run off the prospect . . . who was an infielder, not a pitcher?

And the fact that the scout overlooked him brought surprise to Josh Byrnes?

Recalls Byrnes, “I said, ‘OK, I’ve done about all I can do.’ The phone never rang.”

See previous commentary.

Life’s fork in the road came at a Haverford alumni baseball game. Haverford’s coach said Byrnes should spend some time with Ron Shapiro, a Haverford alum and baseball agent whose clientele included Cal Ripken Jr., Kirby Puckett and Eddie Murray.

You gotta know people in life, and Josh Byrnes seems to have been blessed by the contacts only one could make by attending a prestigious school like Harvard. I mean Haverford.

And so began Byrnes’ baseball escalator ride. From Indians intern in 1994 to director of scouting by 1999. From Rockies assistant GM in ’99 to Red Sox assistant GM in 2002. From Diamondbacks’ GM in 2005 to fired in 2010, now to Padres GM.

The Byrnes ascension through the ranks seems like a dream come true. Not something that would harden one to reality. Don Norcross disagrees. Because agreement would have required a rewrite. And he was at deadline.

Former co-workers rattle off common success traits when describing Byrnes: intellectual, disciplined, driven. There’s another quality that may set him apart — a willingness to think outside the box.

There's only one way to think when running a team like the Padres . . . and that's outside the box. What are we in store for? Left handed first basemen? Left handed catchers? Pitchers hitting 8th?!!

So the Rockies devised an “intern quiz” that would reveal if applicants were longtime baseball fans. Who was the player who famously put his arm around Jackie Robinson? (Pee Wee Reese.) Who hit the ball to center field when Willie Mays made his famous over-the-shoulder catch at the Polo Grounds? (Vic Wertz.)

An "intern quiz"? That's outside of the box? If an intern quiz is devised in such a way that I might get the job . . . there might be a problem. 

I like the Jackie Robinson/Pee Wee Reese diversity question though. It supports Josh Byrnes's assertion that his best friend, as a youth, was African-American.

At Cleveland, Byrnes supported the drafting of a player some deemed too big (CC Sabathia). At Boston, he endorsed selecting a player considered too small (Dustin Pedroia).

Josh Byrnes' belief in diversity is not limited to issues of race.

Look forward to drafts that include lumbering corner outfielders that defy the spaciousness of PETCO Park and pygmies out of Papua New Guinea to play the middle infield. Goodbye, Orlando Hudson!.

And at Arizona in 2009, he hired A.J. Hinch as manager even though Hinch had never coached or managed professionally.

Continuing with the theme of "looking forward" can I suggest a Managerial Triumvirate comprised of Mark Loretta, Trevor Hoffman and Chris Denorfia who will teach outfield dives?

“I was shocked,” admits Hinch.

I once hired an electrician to fix leaky plumbing in the kitchen. The leak was stemmed to a moderate drip which was an unforeseen surprise. The piping however, was now decorated like a Christmas Tree, which was freaking awesome!

I was shocked. Pleasantly.

Alas, if you dare to be great, sometimes you fall flat. The Diamondbacks posted an 89-123 record under Hinch. On July 1, 2010, Hinch and Byrnes were fired. 

Managers are only worth a few wins a year. This record speaks more to the team Byrnes assembled. And also how crappy AJ Hinch was a manager. I'm starting to write like Don Norcross. Forgive me.

Hinch is now a Padres assistant general manager.

Mediocrity must be rewarded. Very "outside the box".

Regarding the Hinch-as-manager experiment, Byrnes says, “We just never won enough. Anytime you have a controversial hire, you’re on a short leash. When we didn’t produce winning baseball, the natives got pretty restless.”

Natives in Arizona? Laughable!

Asked how the Padres can win with a modest payroll, Byrnes says, “I’m a big believer in belief. I think belief is a powerful thing.”

San Diego needs more believers in belief. If you believe hard enough it's good for at least one comma and three zeroes added to the bottom line. Believe it.

Like Hoyer, Byrnes believes there are no quick fixes and that the Padres must build in the same manner as the Tampa Bay Rays, via the draft.

If there was any doubt in Josh Byrnes and his belief in belief, Don Norcross erased it with this excerpt.

A Padres championship team, he says, must be built around pitching and defense. The team needs more dominant starting pitching. Position players, he says, must be built around speed, defense, quality at-bats “and a tenacious relentlessness about how they play.”

Tenacious relentlessness. It's like persistent single-mindedness. But with a teaspoon of stubborness.

He’s a Cameron Maybin believer and wants to sign the center fielder to a contract extension, although talks have not intensified.

If you believe, thy Cameron Maybin will extend.

If the man is worried, he conceals it well. Kevin Towers’ GM signature was his brashness, his most memorable line directed to the Dodgers — “There’s a new sheriff in town.”

I think the internet has covered this misstep ad nauseum. In Don Norcross' defense... Kevin Malone was pretty forgettable.

Byrnes’ handle, for now, is his smile. Not a goofy, happy-go-lucky grin. Just a content, life-is-good smile.

 Goofy, happy-go-lucky grin? Why does Heath Bell need to get a kick in the balls on the way out the door?

Sue Byrnes says her son has been that way since he slept in a crib. “He would wake up with a big smile on his face,” Sue says. “I called him Mr. Sunshine.”

Awwwww. Moms are the best.

****
 Don Norcross and Nick Canepa are making this off-season fun.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Giving Nick Canepa The FJMing He Deserves

Fire Joe Morgan, the great website that moved onto a better, media-free world in late 2008, was the preeminent place for sports media criticism. Thus, to receive an FJMing, signifies a public demand for blood (or plasma if you would prefer) because a member of the media either mailed it in or failed at their most important task; making sense.

Which brings me to Saturday's column by Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union Tribune. I don't always agree with Nick Canepa. I'm speaking in code: what I mean to say is, I rarely ever agree with the man. But his article yesterday was on another level of "me-no-makey-sense". Let's explore.

Sez Me …

And here we go. Is there anything more tired than "Sez Me"? It's like always talking about Sculpin IPA or misspelling Will Venable's name.

In was in early October, 2009, that Padres boss Jeff Moorad fired General Manager Kevin Towers, and I wrote he’d just made the first major blunder of his captaincy.

Totally stupid blunder. Kevin Towers had only been here for 15 years. So dumb. It was like divorcing your wife after being married for 30 years and forfeiting nearly everything you own. Wait... someone did do that... we refer to him in these parts as, "The Guy Who Hired Kevin Towers In 1995". We're creative with our names around here.

For what money I have, Towers is the best GM in baseball, as he once again proved when he turned around woeful Arizona in a Phoenix minute (slower than New York’s, but fast enough).

Best GM in baseball based on having little money? I don't know what kind of money Nick Canepa has in his bank account but based on this being a Padres article I'm guessing it's nothing. I'm confused. Are there not better GMs than the guy who acquired Randy Meyers in 1998? And are we really assigning all of the credit in Arizona to Kevin Towers? People also wanted to give Towers the credit when Jed Hoyer was doing his part here in 2010. That Kevin Towers is clearly a God.

Moorad’s second blunder, obviously, was hiring Jed Hoyer as Towers’ replacement.

It would have been better to leave the position of GM vacant. Or bring back Joe McIlvaine.

Not that there was anything terribly wrong with Jed. Except that, coming here from snooty Boston, he obviously preferred big bowls of chowder to fish tacos. 

 Is this a small fish in a big bowl of chowder analogy? Or are we starting to equate snobbery with those who revel in soup?

So after two seasons he’s taken the first plane out of town to join fellow Red Sox brat packer Theo Epstein, who’s been given run of the dilapidated — but wealthy — Cubs.

Finally! A pop-culture reference! I loved Breakfast Club. And it was filmed in Chicago. Nick Canepa is owning us right now. OWNING. US.

Despite looking like a kid about to buy a prom night corsage, Hoyer seemed to know what he was doing. 

Wait. He looked like he knew what he was doing yet the hire was a blunder? Canepa is running circles around us. RUNNING. CIRCLES. AROUND. US. (My prom sucked. Canepa is mind-f*cking me right now.)

Like his predecessor, Hoyer was hamstrung by the Padres’ tight wallet. Unlike Towers, he chose not to stick around to see if he could handle the challenge and finish the work.

Towers stuck around for a reason. He wasn't fired sooner. You see, when a market is small, there is little chance of success unless the farm system is loaded. Towers failed to load the farm. Yet he kept his job. It's mysterious.

At least Epstein saw things through in Boston. Hoyer didn’t come close here.

Actually, in Theo Epstein's second year at the helm in Boston a World Series was claimed. And then Epstein quit after year three. Why? Because he wanted a contract extension. Just like Jed Hoyer.

Towers may not have drafted well — something I never will fully comprehend — but he had the great ability to fleece people in trades (the David Freese–for-Jim Edmonds deal was not one of them, but nobody’s perfect), and he got the club into the playoffs and World Series on a handmaiden’s budget.

CANEPA. IS. CORRECT. Towers was terrible in the draft! It's why the Padres haven't had a more sustained run of success.

But I must take umbrage with the crazy talk about getting the Padres to the World Series on a handmaiden's budget. Firstly because, I have no idea about the earning power of a handmaiden. Secondly, because the internet exists. The internet tells me that the Padres had the 9th highest payroll in 1998 and the disparity between 1st and 9th was a paltry $19 million.

And speaking of fleece(ing) I have two things to say: it's a comfortable product and also what Jed Hoyer did to the Florida Marlins. Hello Cameron Maybin. Goodbye fungible relief pitchers. (YES! I finally used the word fungible in a sentence.)

And no GM — maybe no GM ever — was better with pitchers, baseball’s plasma.

Some people write of "blood and guts" and others deal in "intestinal fortitude". Nick Canepa and I both broker in plasma. I sold my plasma in college and it allowed me to party like a rock star on Thursday nights.

Hoyer was in the process of rebuilding the club’s farm system, a good thing, when the glitter of Michigan Avenue beckoned. 

I have submitted "...rebuilding the club's farm system, a good thing...." as the understatement of the Mother f*ckING year.

At least he had that going for him, but even Jed readily admitted he screwed up this past off-season, sweeping a 90-win team of clubhouse leadership and miscalculating on veteran free agents who couldn’t cut it anymore.

I'm not a Hoyer apologist. But it's hard to calculate correctly on veteran free agents when the calculator you've been given is void of so many decimal places. You know this, Nick. So why mention it?

Young Hoyer also either bowed to upper management or public (I hope not) pressure to bring slugging minor league first baseman Anthony Rizzo

That Rizzo kid, for lack of a better word, RAPED the Pacific Coast League while an inept Brad Hawpe manned first base in PETCO Park. Why wouldn't he have been promoted?

Enter Josh Byrnes, former GM of the Diamondbacks when Moorad ran that club.

Our transformation is complete. We are now the San Diego Diamondbacks.

Byrnes was canned in Arizona, but he did some good things there. Many of the players Towers won with this year were brought in with Byrnes on the bridge. 

 I thought Towers gets all the credit because he's the Pitcher Whisperer. And there's also the matter of plasma.

What Towers did there was create a winning pitching staff and bullpen, his forte.

Uhhh.... Nick... I guess I'll give you the bullpen (only because, like you, I don't want to do the research) but the Diamondbacks only had four legitimate starters this year, three of which were acquired by Josh Byrnes (Hudson, Kennedy, Collmenter) and the other by Jerry Dipoto (Saunders). Good point though.

Byrnes, at 41, has a pedigree, having studied under good baseball people along the way. Hopefully, he’ll be more than a San Diego comet. Hopefully, he’ll buy, not rent.

Josh Byrnes has good pedigree. He's like a dog. And I'll be honest-- people who by houses are comfortable. I don't want a guy who's comfortable. Kevin Towers was comfortable. 15 years comfortable.

If Moorad wants to build a winner here, he has to keep GMs around long enough to learn their names. He can’t afford Blunder No. 3. …

 Jed's name only has three letters and I've heard Jeff Moorad say it on the Darren Smith Show numerous times. "Josh" on the other hand is a hella tricky name to master.

Losing assistant GM Jason McLeod, who’s headed for Chicago with Hoyer, may be the bigger loss …

Finally Nick Canepa makes crystal clear sense of this mess. I wish the clarity would have occurred before word number 553 of the column (I counted).

Epstein already has put the kibosh on Hoyer’s first planned move, signing Brad Hawpe …

Haha. Brad Hawpe jokes will never get old.

I can't wait to do this again.