Hacksaw's Hacked-Quotes: Contract Extension Talk With Padres GM, Josh Byrnes

Wanting to hear Josh Byrnes comment on today's trade of Anthony Rizzo, I was presented with an opportunity cost.  I could listen and glean information from the Padres GM thus increasing my baseball IQ or I could ignore the interview and inevitably save 45 minutes of my life. The interview was a mere 5 minutes but I knew that some inane comment by Hacksaw would inevitably force me into blogging about it.

So here I am. Blogging about it . . .


After listening to the interview I saw this tweet by Saw:

The punctuation things are called quotation marks. Within the quotation marks are words. Outside of the quotation marks is a name. What this is called is a quotation.

As literate folk we are led to believe that the person in question, Josh [Byrnes], said the above statement.

In summation: Josh Byrnes said that he is talking about contract extensions with both Cameron Maybin and Chase Headley.

Except he didn't say that. How do I know? Well I listened. Then I went back and listened to make sure I wasn't crazy. And then I transcribed it.

Hacksaw: 

It had been proposed to me, that somewhere along the line in this off-season that you would start negotiating multi-year contracts to buy out arbitration with a couple of cornerstone guys. And I don't know whether that's Maybin or weather that's Headley. Are you gonna do that?

Josh Byrnes: 

We've had discussion with a few guys.

How can you feed the guy names* and then quote him (rhetorical question)? Between Scott and BR in the morning and Hacksaw in the afternoon we are surely a charmed fan base.

*There's no way Headley is getting an extension.

Media Commentary: A Major Award --The 2011 Homage to Suck

As of this writing Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton of XX1090 holds a modest lead over the Union Tribune's Don Norcross for the worst piece of writing in 2011. Nick Canepa is in dead last* with 12% of the vote.
*Remember, coming in last place is a good thing in this competition. Although it still doesn't say much.

Who did I vote for? If you guessed Nick Canepa then you know AJM like the back of your hand.

This competition was difficult. While over 180 people viewed the post only 50 saw themselves fit to cast a vote. I respect that. If you're not a regular reader I was asking quite a bit of you to go review the work of these writers.* I appreciate you abstaining from the vote if you felt you didn't have the time to read their columns. Your exercise of caution is an admirable trait, a trait we we would do well to donate to our three nominees.

*Hacksaw is not a writer. He wrote something. There is a distinction.

But did I unduly influence you with how I worded the contestants' entries in the poll? Canepa's was the most innocuous. Norcross less so. But if someone wanted to vote without reading then a vote for Hacksaw would have been reasonable based on my unflattering remark about his attempt at writing.* Hacksaw's piece was also fresh on our minds. He was FJM'd the other day and, well he's Hacksaw.

*Lee Hacksaw Hamilton Throws-Up on Paper. And then Pushes Submit.

I went back and reread Nick Canepa's piece. I don't think people are giving Nick the proper credit for writing a truly poor column. It was bad.* So I voted for Nick. Primarily because he's been a newspaper man at the UT since the 60s. Maybe that's the problem. Never the less, I hold him to a higher standard than Hacksaw. Hacksaw isn't a writer. He's a talking head. And a muckraker. But he's no writer. In my eyes this honor belonged to Canepa, the pro.

*When I say "bad" I'm thinking Steven Segal post Hard To Kill. I bought Segal's pony-tail up until this point. I willed myself to believe that a guy with a pony-tail could be that bad-ass. It didn't hurt that he looked 6'5". And that he always did that move where he broke a guy's arm at the elbow. After Hard to Kill I stopped believing. In summation: Nick Canepa's effort was as bad as Steven Segal's pony tail, post-Hard To Kill, but most definitely not pre-Hard To Kill.

The funny thing. I knew Hacksaw would take the title. For one simple reason: he's a polarizing figure. We already knew this but here's further proof. In a span of 24 hours the FJM piece I wrote about Hacksaw became, by a sizable margin, the most read column for the month of December. Why? Because people love to ridicule* the Saw. Ridicule that is often deserved. And this is a problem.

* Do you ever listen to Jim Rome? He constantly mocks Hacksaw's voice and his shtick. Hacksaw has built A Sports Empire on bad PR from Jim Rome. Hacksaw is known across the country for being the punchline to a joke. RANCHO CUCAMONGA! Can you HEAR ME?

People don't necessarily have the time to research. They go to the radio because it's easy. It is a reflex, one that can be done concurrently with the action of commuting to and from work. People depend on the accuracy of information received from a guy who has been given a massive platform and megaphone. This isn't politics, no extra research need be necessary. It's sports and sports should be easy. But you and I know better. We've learned to take nothing at face value, not even our sporting news.

Why would XX1090 knowingly deceive us by putting this guy on the air?

I'm not positive if this analogy works but I would say that XX1090 views its listnership similarly to the way a casino looks at a bet on a football game. Both want to get action on each side. If 1,000,000 betters choose the Chargers this weekend and 1,000,000 take the Raiders the house wins because of the 10% "rake" on each bet. Similarly, a radio station with blindly faithful listeners to Hacksaw coupled with irate listeners who desire to make the phone call* reminding him that he's a big idiot is good for business. Both groups are listening and that equals profit.

*Or text! Text him your thoughts.

So XX1090 doesn't care about us. For a solid dose of reason we get Darren Smith in the afternoon but not after 4 hours of frontal lobe pollution from Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton. And on top of it, they let him bang his ideas out on a keyboard. Yes, in addition to San Diego.com giving him a forum, XX1090 also posted Hacksaw's malarkey on their website.

This week we've seen Craig Elsten of 619 Sports filling in for a vacationing Darren Smith and in this time we've been privy to a polished and reasoned approach to every topic on the table. As I listen I imagine how perfect a fit Craig would be in Hacksaw's spot, leading into Darren Smith at 2 pm. And then I'm reminded of our betting analogy and I come back to a grim reality. A reality where intelligence is not a commodity willfully doled out to radio audiences.

We are stuck with Lee Hacksaw Hamilton. And I would say that we need NOT be stuck quietly. That we can use our voices to silence Hacksaw's. But in the end, that is all XX1090 really wants. Complaints mean we are listening. And the bills are being paid.

This however, does not mean we cannot call attention to the failings of our media members. You will have to set your own standards for what you are willing to accept from the media but here are mine:

When I witness egregious incoherence, profound lack of logic, or an utter absence of research in a published writing by a professional -- that professional will be called on it.*

* Throws mic down. 

Editor's Note [8:05 AM] 
I would be remiss if I did not point to Dan Hayes, Corey Brock, Craig Elsten and Tom Krasovic for giving us some semblance of sanity with their writing.

The "You Don't Know Jack!" Year In Review: Crappy Writing Needs An Award Too

During the past three months I've written three scathing critiques of articles by locally based journalists. All writers will write an homage to suck here and there but when the piece has egregious factual errors that lead to deception amongst readers then comment must be put on the record. That is what I would like to think that I have done with the articles by Nick Canepa, Don Norcross, and Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton.

Were these articles the absolute worst written by professional journalists in San Diego during 2011? Likely not. But make no mistake, they were poorly constructed, riddled with errors, and completely "mailed-in" by their respective authors. And so I shall nominate them for worst of the year.

You can click the author's name above to go directly to the article or below you will find the links for the criticisms, which may be the easiest way to refresh your memory:

Nick Canepa Gets the FJMing He Deserves
FJM'd: Don Norcross and his subject, Padres GM Josh Byrnes
FJM'd: Hacksaw refuses to do the math that could be done on his fingers

Or perhaps your memory is pristine and you need not go through such time consuming acts; then now is the time to get yourself to the polls. Decision 2011!

FJM'd: Hacksaw refuses to do the math that could be done on his fingers

Against my better judgement, I am going to give Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton the Fire Joe Morgan treatment. I'm trying to convince myself that it's NOT a waste of time. But like you, I know that it is.

Hacksaw is terrible. And since he has been given a platform he needs to get called on it.

And all this started when the incoming owner, Jeff Moorad, moved Jake Peavy two summers ago to the White Sox for... guess again, more kids.

Jake Peavy was actually moved for a bag of balls, an Italian beef sandwich, an ex-QB from the University of Michigan, three warm bodies, and a ridiculous agreement by the Chicago White Sox to assume a gazillion dollar contract for an undersized power pitcher with a history of injuries.

Isn't this one of the things for which we should be thanking Jeff Moorad?


When will there be some type of reward for long suffering fans, who have now seen six losing seasons in the last nine campaigns?

Math. Let's do math. Six losing seasons in the last nine campaigns? When I read this it just didn't compute so you know what I did? Like all good Mathematicians, I used my fingers! Go with it!

RIGHT HAND
Thumb: 2011: Losing season
Pointer: 2010: Winning season
Middle: 2009: Losing season
Ring: 2008: Losing season
Pinkie: 2007: Winning season

LEFT HAND
Thumb: 2006: Winning season
Pointer: 2005: Winning season
Middle: 2004: Winning season
Ring: 2003: Losing season

That was fun. (don't believe my fingers? go here)

OK. Firstly: when you're talking about "the number of winning seasons" in the last "x number of seasons" you go back to the last winning season in the string of years, which would be 2004. PETCO Park also opened in 2004, so really, Saw should have been speaking about 8 campaigns rather than 9.

What about Saw's math?

Have the Padres only had 3 winning seasons in the last 9? Let's go back to our fingers.

Ahhhh, nope.

According to my fingers the Padres have had 5 winning seasons in their last 9 campaigns. Or 5 out of 8 in PETCO Park, which isn't too bad considering how angry the fan-base has been.

Miller Park debuted in Milwaukee, which led to a spending spree and playoff appearances.

Miller Park opened in 2001. The Brewers rewarded their fans with 4 consecutive losing seasons, 1 .500 season, another losing season, and a .512 season, before they won the Wild Card in 2008. In three of those losing seasons they finished dead last in the NL Central. And with 6 teams vying for a championship in the NL Central, this is where last place truly means something!

What about the Brewers' payroll during those initial years after the opening of Miller Park?

Here it goes: (2000: 23rd*) (2001: 23rd) (2002: 21st) (2003: 28th) (2004: 30th) (2005: 27th) (2006: 24th) (2007: 19th) (2008: 15th) (2009: 17th) (2010: 18th) (2011: 17th)

The ballpark didn't really lead to increased payroll for Milwaukee. Maybe if Saw took the time to research he could have used Milwaukee as a timeline model for how a new park can eventually lead a small market team to a payroll in the top 50% of the league. Or Almost the top 50% of the league.

Leaving too were 14-game winner Aaron Harang, and back of the rotation starter Wade LeBlanc.

Lamenting the loss of Wade LeBlanc? I'll stop now.

From all of the past trades, San Diego wound up with 9 young players and three additional draft picks, but you won't see any of them at Petco Park from your box seats this summer.

 Nine young players, huh? None of them in PETCO this summer? I don't even know who Saw is talking about here. The paragraph begins by talking about off-season moves and then he jumps to past trades. Is he including the warm bodies from the Peavy trade? There were 3 prospects from the Latos trade, 2 from Adams, 3 from Gonzalez. That doesn't add up to 9. Crap. This is vexing.

We know Alonso or Rizzo will be in San Diego. Rumor has it that we'll likely see Erlin, Wieland and Boxberger by summer. Maybe Casey Kelly, but more likely 2013. What was Hacksaw saying?

Alarming is the reality Moorad does not have the money to really own this.

Finally. A salient point. It took a while but Hacksaw made one (and I don't think he actually meant to do it).

Please don't allow the above 14 words to con you into reading the article. Just go to IKEA and do some shopping.

*I put the year 2000 payroll in for the Brewers just to show that there was no change (relative to the rest of MLB) in payroll as they moved into Miller Park.

San Diego Padres: Greatness on the Block at the Winter Meetings

Yesterday while driving home I divided my time between XX1090 with Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton and Xtra Sports 1360's The Drive, with Josh Rosenberg and Jeff Dotseth. Both shows are entertaining and informative. Yesterday's programs both leaned towards entertaining, for the exact same reasons: the maniacal callers.

Both programs spent chunks of time discussing the Padres and their 'possible' actions at the Baseball Winter Meetings in Indianapolis. There have been a few Padre trade rumors, primarily centered around Kevin Kouzmanoff and Heath Bell. After listening to San Diego's callers you would have been certain that the community regarded Kevin Kouzmanoff as the second coming of Mike Schmidt, George Brett, and Brooks Robinson all rolled into one super fantastic player. I have news for sports radio caller: HE'S NOT. HE'S JUST A DUDE. A DUDE WHO HITS FOR LESS POWER THAN A CORNER INFIELDER SHOULD! A DUDE WHO STRIKES OUT A LOT. A DUDE WHO NEVER WALKS!! LET ME REPEAT.........HE'S JUST A GUY!!!!!!!!

Now let me offer this disclaimer. I like Kevin Kouzmanoff. If I could go get a beer with one Padre it would probably be him (perhaps Heath Bell just to hear the sh*t he would say). He seems like a great guy and he puts forth a nice effort, day in and day out. He plays a solid, if not range deficient, third base. I'd also be ecstatic if he was only required to be the #7 or #8 hitter in our line-up......but he's not. Kevin Kouzmanoff is supposed to be the guy who protects Adrian Gonzalez and in that roll he under performs quite dramatically.

If Padre fans want to see a team that is actually moving forward heading into 2010 they may have to accept the fact that a deal involving Kevin Kouzmanoff may be the means to that end.

You see, we already have a 3rd baseman named Chase Headley. He was the organization's minor league player of the year not so long ago, the Padres' #1 rated prospect, so let's give him a chance to develop at his natural position. Then we can give Kyle Blanks a chance to play everyday in LF which might be a good thing for his development. Oh yea......that guy Will Venable......how 'bout we see if his second half of 2009 was the real thing or a fluke by giving him everyday ABs out in RF. Guys must be given a chance moving forward and right now Kevin Kouzmanoff is impeding the development of our other players. We know what Kouz is; and so do the other MLB clubs. If he can gain us a another piece of the puzzle then make the deal happen, young Jed Hoyer.

In Summation:
Please stop complaining that the sky is falling because Kouz might be dealt.......And please, never ever let me hear the following phrase uttered again on talk radio:

"If Kouz gets traded then I'm not going to a game for the next 10 years. I'm done"

If that's what you think, then you really have no expectation of a championship in San Diego......and you are dumber than the day is long!

I would also prefer to never hear the following from a radio caller regarding Kouz trade talk:

"Why are they going to move him? If it ain't broke, then don't fix it!"

It is broke.....YOU F*CKING MORON! The Padres are coming off of 4th and 5th place finishes!

If San Diego's fans continue to call in with such asinine opinions it is incumbent upon Lee Hamilton, Jeff Dotseth, and Josh Rosenberg to destroy these mindless a**hats with extreme prejudice. I would say that this is all just my humble opinion but doing so would suggest that the Kouz-lovers have a leg to stand on.......which they DON'T!!!

Go Padres
(I apologize for an excessively bold-italic-CAPITALIZED-24 point font induced tirade)