Talks of the apocalypse were premature

On August 6th, 2012 Anthony Rizzo returned to PETCO Park.

Two days short of his 23rd birthday Rizzo entered his old stomping grounds (These grounds stomped Rizzo. Not the other way around) with the distinction of being one of the hottest hitters in the game. Coming off a monster July Anthony Rizzo's numbers through 33 games with the Cubs looked like this:

Click it! Sh*t is tiny!

With 9 HRs and an OPS a shade under .900, Padres fans screamed, "We always trade away our golden gods!!!" 
They didn't actually say that. I made that up based on a variation of what Padres fans do say and Cameron Crowe's film Almost Famous in which Billy Crudup jumped off a roof into a pool proclaiming himself to be a Golden God. But that is neither here nor there. The point remains: fans were not happy to see Rizzo's success while Andrew Cashner* sat idle on the mend from an oblique injury.

*Disgruntled fans also made the Rizzo/Alonso comparison and will continue to do so. Forever . . .

But Petco Park happened to Rizzo and he cooled during the most humid month in San Diego's recorded history*. Rizzo went 1 for 12 with 3 strikeouts and the Cubs were swept out of San Diego.

*I can't substantiate this. My crude measurements are based on the frequency in which I sweat through my t-shirts in places other than the armpits.

Anthony Rizzo is now 23. Since he entered PETCO on August 6th the first baseman's journeys to the plate have yielded the following:

Click it! Sh*t is tiny!

It was @Ducksnorts who pointedly noted this Anthony Rizzo cooling trend yesterday on Twitter. As I look out to my patio, watching an ever so slight breeze affecting the local flora, I am provided pieces of hope.

Hope: That as Anthony Rizzo cools and Yonder Alonzo grows, talks of an apocalypse will subside for a time.

Hope: That Andrew Cashner shall soon return to fill out the rotation and start more than three games before succumbing to injury.

Hope: That, this is a one t-shirt day.

Thinking Out Loud: Jedd Gyorko's rear end

Jedd Gyorko's a** is huge. But not in the good way that the ladies and baseball scouts like.

Justin Upton's a** is also huge. I imagine the ladies love his a**. Juston Upton's a** makes him run really fast. That's good for him. And the D-Backs.
 
You know how everyone always says Padres OF prospect Jaff Decker is a "bad body type"? If you had never actually seen Jaff Decker before and you put him next to Jedd Gyorko (who you had also never sen in person) you would bet all of your earthly possessions that Jedd Gyorko was Jaff Decker*. What I'm trying to say is that Jedd Gyorko is a thick dude. He's bottom heavy. But alas, he hits like a witch.

* I played this pretend game with myself during Spring Training 2012.

I'm not really talking about Gyorko's a** in this post but more about the additions and subtractions of speed within the Padres major league line-up. Yes I know that Jedd Gyorko's in Tucson. Permit me to wonder for a moment . . .


Yonder Alonso is slower than molasses and he will be at first base for the foreseeable future. But he does spray the gaps. Slow fella has a lot of doubles.

Yasmani Grandal is faster than his Cuban brother. This is not much of a compliment.

Carlos Quentin: Not a fast man. But this does not matter because he has pull power in the middle of the line-up and he could melt your face with laser beam eyes.

I've just listed three guys who are not fast runners in a line-up that requires speed because of park size.

I'm thinking out loud.

Cameron Maybin is fast and he received a contract extension. So he's the Padres' CF of the future. Let's hope he starts hitting.

Alexi Amarista and Everth Cabrera can both run and they're exciting. But I don't know where they fit. I guess we need August and September's ABs to figure that out.

Will Venable can run but his awkward hairline and Princeton education prevent him from being a long term solution in RF.

And what of Chase Headley? Jedd Gyorko's a** makes me think of Chase Headley which is why I began writing this post.

Chase Headley can hit but he can also run. He's not Vince Coleman but that's a good thing. We don't need Chase getting stuck under a tarp during the Padres next World Series appearance. And yes, I'm saying it: I think Chase Headley needs to be here for that mythical, fantastical, World Series I dream about at 4:38 AM on Tuesday mornings in July.

If Chase Headley is traded (along with his speed) then he will be replaced with a base-clogger in Jedd Gyorko. By all accounts Jedd Gyorko can flat out hit, but how adversely will his lack of speed impact what the Padres are trying to do in PETCO Park*?

*Are they really going to move in the fences? If they do I hope they are brown.

I guess we have a few more days to see if Chase's legs are taken out of the PETCO equation.