Observations

In Friday's pre-season battle between the Eagles and Patriots. John Lynch was abused like a red headed step-child...with one leg at that. He was burnt on a punt return that showcased his two most glaring deficiencies (no closing speed, lack of quickness to utilize the angle). Good job Genius.

Check out this article on what Pat fans should be worrying about.

& what Charger fan should be worrying about.

Here, at HATE, we advocate for Shawne Merriman taking the course of action that will ready him for the playoffs. You wanna get paid? Show 'em your guts! This is 2008 and medicine has come too far for a 24 year old to have his career ended by a knee injury (look at Willis McGahee coming back after his knee injury (2003?), it was horrific, so don't tell us that 5 additional years of medical innovation won't save young Merriman).

If the career is threatened? SM has shown that his construction company will make him some nice coin (thanks for the contributions to SD after the wild fires Mr. Merriman!....now get your ass on the field and start hunting some Pseudo-Patriots!) .

The White Whale Manifesto (a.k.a. Raider Rivalry No More)

The Raiders, our long time geographical and divisional RIVAL, are no more. The Raiders are dead. The Raiders of Oakland/Los Angeles/Oakland are so inconsequential they are barely worth mentioning* except in the context of which I will now discuss and later propose. They will remain in this state until they cease to have a delusional owner who puts faith in 300 lb QBs and a disproportionate number of cast-offs and malcontents. Our rivalry with the Oakland Raiders is dead......but there is a new one forming...

San Diegans....all roads to the Super Bowl go through New England.

Whether you think our window of opportunity is as small as the 70's style side window of the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine or as vast as a room 1000 years wide, it is Tom Brady's New England tenure that will be our primary obstacle. Yes, "Zoolander" the gun slinging male model QB and his 3 rings. Through Bill Belichick and his incomprehensible "genius". Through the New England Patriots, folks.

One calendar year handed us 3 defeats to the New England Patriots:

1. January 14th, 2007..........A devastating divisional playoff loss where we were "Shown-Up" at games end.
2. September 16th, 2007.....A humiliating nationally televised drubbing on the heels of the Spygate fervor.
3. January 20th, 2008.........A trip to Glendale, Az on the line but our injuries and red zone inefficiencies could not be overcome.

How very painful to remember. This is our rivalry Charger faithful. As long as Zoolander is a QB in the NFL and Bill Belicheat is coaching, this is the team we will have to attend to, our white whale.

A measure of redemption is on the horizon though. On October 12th, 2008 we will be facing off against a New England Patriot team that in all likelihood will be carrying a 23 game regular season win streak (2006-2008). We can end that streak.

Ultimately the game will mean nothing without a Lombardi Trophy in hand in February 2009 but if we truly think ourselves players in the hunt for a championship, this game could mean everything. Where we play come playoff time could be decided in early October.

We went to Foxborough last year on September 16th and if there is one certainty, it is that our hate for the New England Patriots was galvanized on that day like we never thought it could be. One day spent with the rif-raf of New England was the galvanizing effect. There is a reason why they have t-shirts that read "Masshole" scrawled across the front. There is a reason why we heard the words qu&er, fa&got, h#m#, and fr@itcake, spewed by 21,345 different people, four times each......presumably their homophobia stems from sexual identity issues and an unhealthy aversion to the powder blue throwback jersey.

The fans out there were likely beat as children. Harsh northern winters shoveling driveways, scraping windshields and waiting for engines to warm also did much to harden the edges. We're sure that every wound literal or figurative (Buckner's wickets and Super Bowl XX) has had salt heaped into it ( Mr. Subliminal says 18-1). On top of these horrid exteriors they have, of all things......"Superiority Complexes".

1. Superior in their support of teams.
2. Superior in their game acumen.
   
3. Superior in all respects relating to the northeast.

To listen to what they say and to read the ideas they put to paper is "Hanoi Pit of Hell" painful. To live Christopher Walken's portrayal of Captain Koons and the hidden gold watch, would be an infinitely more pleasant experience than to be subjected to sports conversation with these people.

We hate the Patriots for myriad reasons:

• William Spygate Belichick
• The arrogant Zoolander Brady and his silly male model photo shoots
• The taunting after the Divisional Playoff game on January 14, 2007
• The Ex-Chargers who have hurt us--Harrison, Caldwell, Seau
• The condescending writers at the Globe and Herald
• The "...sawriest corner in the league. He is. He's the sawriest corner in the league" Ellis Hobbs
• That QUITTER Randy Moss

The list goes on yet we can say the following with certainty: all of the above will be gone in 20 years but remaining, one constant.....those who support the Patriots. Their fans. The ubiquitous Northeastern Moron.

There is no greater pain than a Boston sports fan....well....except the Boston fan who is also winning.

*Why consider a team that has not beat the Chargers since 2002? 2002! That's when The Department of Homeland Security gave us the color coded alert system and Ted Williams was cryogenically frozen! Who can even remember that far back? I needed VH1's "I love the Millenium" series to remind me of the eon that has passed since our last loss to those pirates.

Manifesto part 2

If you are reading this, we are merely preaching to the converted but it is you that has the power to persuade your friends who are perhaps fringe fanatics.

We have rallied 17 people for the October 12th game and not all of these guys are "Die-Hard" Charger fans (although they all loath the Patriots). By any means necessary appeal to that which will get people to the game. Use the old Catholic tool of guilt if you must. Take some pride in this city and team. If you are going to a game this year, get to this one. Do not let these people think they can come to our town and get an easy ticket to OUR games.

We received a phone call by a friendly Bostonian before the Bolt/Titan playoff game last year, prompted by the news that the game was not a sell out. Informed, we were, that, "San Diego is a Joke! You can't even sell out a playoff game because of a little rain!"

To be called a joke, as a sports town, is the greatest of insults!

Our proposal: Shut Patriot fan out of our October 12th match-up. Go to Ebay, Craig's List, and Stubhub and buy up those available tickets. We don't only have to contend with those who travel out to this game but those who have migrated here...las cucarachas...that seem to be everywhere (Especially in Longboards). Do not let them in!

Do we want to be known as a sports town or home of the San Diego Zoo ???(We recommend the Koala exhibit, it's fantastic! Kids can get really close up and see the little eucalptus eaters in a well constructed forest like habitat:>)

Kill Bill vol. 3

The timing could not have been more perfect, more ominous than it was while walking through the San Diego Fair's (formally the Del Mar Fair) exhibit section. Upon a High School Future Farmers of America exhibit I stumbled into.... piggies. The kind of piggies that could be raised for eatin'.

I already knew that we would be getting a pig to roast for the October 12th Charger v Patriot grudge match but I couldn't comprehend that all signs would point to the purchase of one of these pigs, here, now. My eyes fell upon a little piggy named Bilby (Bilby...Bill B....Bill Belichick...!) being raised by the FFA of a particular high school who's mascot is.......wait for it..........the PATRIOTS! Now I cannot name the school for two reasons: I actually have a loose affiliation with the school and the incendiary nature of this plot could prove...well let's just say...precarious...and secondly they are currently raising (to a sizable portion I pray) the little swine (Bill Belichick, our little pig feast) for slaughter come the morning of October 12th. I wouldn't want any sentimental Patriot fans to sabotage our little pork feast.

Now pictured above is little Bill Belichick (pink) and the smaller spotted porker we have decided to name Zoolander (a.k.a. the ridiculously good looking male model NFL QB). Little Brady has some growing to do and we intend to gut the little fella before this season's AFC Championship game.*

But on the morning of October 12th we will Kill Bill and upon our alter (Una Cajachina--Chef is that the correct spelling?---tell the people about this contraption) he will be sacrificed and only one question will remain left unanswered: Do we dispose of the entrails in a porta john next to the closest (or Farthest) Patriot fan tailgate or do the decent thing and get rid of the contaminants before we arrive to Jack Murphy Field at Qualcomm Stadium? Questions left unanswered are wearisome but in the meantime we can look forward to the sustenance of that savory little porker. Chef will also be creating sides for the tailgate but feel free to make suggestions or requests .

Who will Kill Bill?

*Hatethepatriots legal counsel, please chime in. Are the above comments in anyway slanderous our inflammatory to the point of prosecution? If so we will retract or amend any selected comments.

"Say it ain't so Joe....err....John!"

What disappointing news to hear that a great football player, a ferocious hitter, a Stanford man, a fellow San Diegan has gone to the dark side...John Lynch is a Patriot! Say it ain't so!

Could this be the third San Diego connection that comes back to haunt our Chargers? The NFL's "Dirtiest Player" Rodney Harrison is always a thorn in our side ever since we let him walk in 2003. Donning the Lightning Bolt he was never the same after he killed Jerry Rice in the end zone and was hit with a massive fine. Rodney, there after tentative (the most disagreeable of Strong Safety attributes), walked without much concern or regret amongst Charger faithful. He has thrived in New England.

Then there's the village idiot (village of Oceanside) Junior Seau. Remember the Pop Warner kids who would be the last to pile on to a tackle? The NFL's version in the early millennium was Junior followed by the ubiquitous fist jab, arm lightning bolt dance. Was it over-exuberance or an attempt to fool unsophisticated (see drunk) fans into believing he was still relevant? I would have forgiven this fading star but then he pulled the retirement act ( "This is just a Graduation for me") and went to the Hatriots. Then he makes the key tackle on 3rd down in the AFC Championship last season. Ol' Junior stuffs Michael Turner, we settled for a Kaeding FG (He of the broken leg), and so began the winter of our discontent. Will John Lynch do the same to us........? Take a close look at that picture above.

That's John Lynch getting left in the dust by LT. John Lynch has been getting left in the dust by everyone which is why he was supplanted in Denver by our castoff, Marlon McCree. Lynch wanted to play on every down and Shanahan said no....you're slow...Lynch asks for release so he can go play full time elsewhere...and he goes to NE....where he won't be playing full time (what is Shanahan thinking now? He let a complainer under contract leave to get the same scenario for an infinitely better team! That's actually funny)*.....lured in by the Evil Empire...Say it ain't so...

This gets better though! The Boston Globe reports that, "Lynch also seems to be a perfect replacement for Williams (Tank Williams on IR), who was being utilized as a hybrid safety/linebacker in one of the Patriots' primary defensive schemes."

HaHaHaHa ahhhhhhh! Please let ol' Torrey Pines Johnny try and cover Antonio Gates. Audible Phillip...attack slow new age hybrid position player created by the Genius Bill Belichick.

I was listening to the radio and flipped to ESPN and had to stop because I heard Colin Cowherd talking about the Lynch signing. As a disclaimer I have to say that siting CC is not a practice I would ordinarily endorse as he is, as a rule, nearly always wrong (he jocked the Pats through the entire playoffs last year and was dead wrong on the competitiveness of every game) but you would never know it with the Tom Brokaw like gravitas he presents his show with. Anyways, he does provide interesting analysis and if nothing else makes some pretty funny sport/life analogies. Cowherd went on to compare Bill Belichick to Bill Clinton, John Edwards, ET AL., as someone who just believes the hype and the press about themselves thus rendering them immune from the rules for the masses. Basically Bill is so smart that he can create a position where a small DB plays as an OLB and then he can use a washed up former Pro Bowler to do his bidding because... well....he's Bill Belichick...he's a god damn Genius people!

F.Y.I. Bill...work on your running game this year instead of pouring on 42pts in the first halves of games (18-1)

So it goes. John Lynch is a Patriot and while the crime is heinous I don't know if I'm ready to say he's dead to me. He seems like a good guy when ever he's on 1090. I just don't know if he fits in with the current crop of Pats........to be continued (part II).


*This deception is somewhat reminiscent of the 1998 Padre post season when we tried to resign Kevin Brown and he vowed that his new contract was not about the money but proximity to his family in Georgia (think peaches not Soviet satellite state)....and then he signed with the Dodgers for a gazillion dollars...LAX might be closer to Georgia than Lindbergh Field, who knows. Anyway, K. Brown is dead to me and he never should have been honored last month at our 1998 anniversary celebration. You go to the enemy and you're cast off...FOREVER (that includes Junior and his crappy restaurant)!

BOLTS v PATS October 12th....Hatefest '08

The Tickets for "Hatefest '08" are in. Wanted all to see and while the ticket layout does look like a "Patriot Special" (yes, an asterisk) please believe us when we say that it was completely unintentional (merely wanted to showcase the 17 Hard Core Patriot Haters). Guess the 'ol asterisk is just a latent part of our subconscious these days. Thank you Senor Belichick...

A new Patriot hater was welcomed into the fold this weekend so a stay in the hospital allowed for a deluge of Olympic drama (not really any drama because Phelp's approach is just like Pre's...smash the competition even in prelims...although the relay was compelling) and the dreadful viewing that is the NFL's preseason. I was however a bit curious to see a couple of series for the Bolts and 'Boys first teams.

Very unimpressed with our Chargers despite the victory. O-line was weak (PR nearly killed on second play of game), no pass rush, D leakin' like a sieve. UG-LEE! Chambers looked solid though as well as Hester and Tolbert which is key w/ MTurner gone. With expectations of a February trip to Tampa our O-Line depth is worrisome to say the least.

Citius, Altius, Fortius...Slow and Steady Does Not Win the Race!

We queried (not the same thing as "queeuh", Bahston fan) why a particular someone hadn't began posting comments here at the blog. After all, contributing to the Charger love/Patriot hate is a friendship prerequisite these days. Told only that camp had just opened and "slow and steady wins the race", blah, blah, blah-there was very little choice- we became indignant! Slow and steady wins the race!? Slow and steady wins the race!?

Not good enough! It wasn't good enough for Steve Prefontaine and it's not good enough for hatethepatriots.blogspot.com!

On the eve of the XXIX Olympiad in Beijing I think it's fitting to conjure the memory of Prefontaine, '72 Munich participant, and Oregon U legend. Pre was notorious for running out front, thinking it disingenuous to "steal" a race while running with the pack. Pre dared a competitor to take the race from him:

"A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into an exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more. Nobody is going to win a 5,000 meter race after running an easy 2 miles. Not with me. If I lose forcing the pace all the way, well, at least I can live with myself."

"Somebody may beat me, but they are going to have to bleed to do it."

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift."


Fitting words from a young man who never dare utter the phrase, "slow and steady wins the race!" In our fanaticism for our team (Chargers) and anti-team (Patriots) there is only one speed...full throttle...to give anything less would (borrowing from Pre) be to sacrifice the gift (Superbowl in Tampa)! Full speed for our Bolts...full speed against the Pats.

On the eve of the summer games recall the Olympic Motto---Citius, Altius, Fortius---Faster, Higher, Stronger......remember Pre, his style of attack, and how we should mimic his commitment.....remember that like Steve Prefontaine, an Oregon Duck, so was our own..... Dan Fouts!

Slow and steady does not win the race....start talking...begin the attack!

~ GO PRE ~

PS stay tuned for news on October 12, 2008 Charger v Patriot tickets.