Laziness Yields Pointless Posts

This is merely an excuse to show the reunion picture for the 50 greatest Chargers which has become my background photo for the enormous time suck known as Twitter----where venom and vitriol can be abbreviated to 140 characters or less.

Chargers vs. Chiefs: I'm not reinventing the wheel

My only input on this game is that I think it will be a blowout. The Chargers are well aware that the Chiefs are capable of defeating them.....see Steelers falling in OT at Arrowhead last week. The Chargers won't fall into this trap.

Other than that half-ass-analysis I'm not going to reinvent the wheel. There are plenty of others who've put together Charger/Chief game previews so here's what they're saying....


Chiefs-Chargers: What To Watch For [619 Sports Craig Elsten and JT Rogan]

Game Preview: Kansas City Chiefs at San Diego Chargers [Bolts From The Blue]

Chargers vs. Chiefs: Five Things To Watch For [UT Kevin Acee]

Why the Chargers Game May Get Blacked Out: the Longshanks Effect

In the film Braveheart, King Edward's character famously said:

"The problem with Scotland.....is that its FULL of Scots!"

Well this Charger fan will dutifully paraphrase the cruel Longshanks and posit the following:

"The problem with San Diego.....is that its FULL of transplants!"

This ladies and gentlemen is the Longshanks Effect.

I mean that with kindness and absolutely no disrespect to......myself. I am a transplant but I've lived here long enough to know where my bread is buttered and unfortunately I can't say the same for a good many of my neighbors. Because of this indisputable truth we face the possibility of a blackout for Sunday's Chargers/Chiefs game if 1300 tickets aren't sold by tomorrow. San Diego may have a resident pool of over 1 million but that figure does not ring true for the Charger fan base. So what to do? The Union Tribune's Jay Posner proposed the following in his media column this morning:

What better weekend could there be for the Spanos family to buy the remaining tickets, donate them to some worthy causes (military, fire, police, youth groups, etc.) and give all of Southern California a huge thank you for its support over the years? After all, coming off years of ineptitude, the Chargers have sold out every game since 2004 and TV ratings are at their highest point in too many years to count.

I'm sure the Chargers could find a couple of sponsors to join up, and they could hit up KFMB Channel 8, which must be making gobs of money off those huge ratings. But even if they couldn't, so what?

Sure, it's easy for me to spend the Spanoses' money, but we're really not talking about that much cash. To a fan or a sponsor, the cost would be somewhere in the neighborhood of $225,000 — 3,000 tickets at about $75 a pop. But the Chargers' cost wouldn't be nearly that high, because the club wouldn't actually “buy” the tickets. Instead, the Chargers would have to pay only the 34 percent of each ticket that goes into a pool the league later distributes equally to all teams (so they'd get back 1/32nd of the money).

Thirty-four percent of $225,000 is $76,500. But that doesn't factor in that some of those 3,000 extra fans would pay $25 to park, plus all of them would figure to spend at least $10 — and probably much more, given the prices — at the concession stands.

See, it's really not that outrageous, is it? Shoot, the Chargers could almost make a profit by doing this.

Sounds good to me and I would venture a guess that either the Chargers or Channel 8 will pick up the tab when the bell tolls tomorrow.

Hey I wish I were going...... but I was in Denver last week and have already been to one pre-season and two regular season home games. Balancing the budget to make it to another game this year will be difficult ( //hoping for playoffs) so It is my want that reason prevails and someone ponies up the $260 K to ensure that I can sit on my couch and see the 50 greatest Chargers honored this Sunday.

Make it happen, ye with deep pockets!

November 22nd, 2009: Slaying the Seahorse of Denver

Scoreboard + Strapping Seahorse Statue = Jocular Tourists

Uhhh.....so we're in this picture celebrating near the locker room tunnel at game's end. You see the "Send Fish Tacos" sign? Yea, we didn't make it.......

It was created by the Lucha Libre Charger fans. I'm pretty sure they were fun to party with but since I can't see their faces in this picture, I can't say for sure. However.....

.....I did scavenge their signage from outside the Mile High Station and then proceed to notify the Denver Sheraton that sustenance was needed.

A good time presented in photos.

On to Denver: music for behind enemy lines

A couple of songs immediately spring to mind for a trip to enemy country. If you can think of more give me a shout:

Ahhh, Metallica's One. "For democracy....any man would give his only begotten son." (good thing I'm traveling with my dad.....and I've got a brother)

...and back to the old standby.

Go Chargers.

Chargers Preview: Ed Hochuli Can't Save You Donkeys Now

On September 14th, 2008, after the Chargers defeat at Mile High, I knew that swift justice would be needed to right the pernicious officiating blunder that denied us a crucial road victory. As bad as the Chargers performed through the middle of the season though, it looked like our retribution would be stemmed until the 2009 season. But the Bolts of '08 rallied, the Broncos folded and justice in small measure had been served.

It is now 2009 and we are returning to Mile High with so much on the line. In our cross-hairs we can see outright control of the AFC West, the opportunity for additional confidence while playing on the road, but perhaps most importantly, a series split to neutralize season ending tie-break scenarios. With that said I still can't help but think that the November 22nd tilt at Mile High, for this fan, is a matter of avenging the wrongs wrought upon us by Arizona lawyer, Edward G. Hochuli. Excuse me Denver, but the Chargers are rolling and Ed can't save you now!

This preview will be unorthodox by nature. If you want statistics and trends you're coming to the wrong guy. My analysis is of the Stephen Colbert variety, which is to say that it comes straight from the gut. I go with what I feel, statistics be damned! Team match-ups and breakdowns? Nah! Last week revolved entirely around the notion that "Good Teams" win at home. The Chargers were at home so I didn't care that the opponent hailed from the mighty NFC East. The Chargers should have won that game and I didn't need offensive and defensive rankings to tell me why.

Here's what I'm lookin' at this Sunday:

Road Cookin'
The Broncos are returning home which tends to breed confidence, however there's a rub; you're only as good as your last game at home, and unfortunately for the Donks, it was a shellacking by the Steelers. Conversely, San Diego's last road game was a hard earned victory in the Eastern Time Zone. This fan scoffs at the idea that a mere 1 hour shift to the east could be any sort of obstacle. You want numbers? Here's what has happened the last few meetings in Denver: since 2006 the Chargers are 2-1 (3-0 if you discount the Hochuli Effect) and have scored over 35 points in all three contests. For the Chargers, fear does not exist in the Denver Dojo.

Charger Defense:
As of right now the jury is out on whether or not we'll see Orton or Simms. If Kyle Orton pulls a Willis Reed and carries his gimpy ass out there he'll need to feel fierce pressure. The sort of pressure that produces happy feet and makes him curse his ankle and the weather on every single down. Ron Rivera has been doing a nice job of blitzing from everywhere, including pressure from our safeties, so the Bolt D will need to continue this trend.

If Chris Simms is leading the charge it will be incumbant upon the Defense, to man up and stuff the run. Stack the box. With that gangly left arm, Chris Simms doesn't have the where with all to defeat a team down-field. He's a pump faking disaster whilst fumbling around the pocket. Get up in the box and stuff the run and then bring the house on the passing downs.

The Early Lead
The Chargers were successful for a multitude of reasons last Sunday none of which was more important than the early 14 point lead they staked their defense to. That lead forced the Eagles to panic and consequently stray from their running game. Norv needs to continue with the sort of innovative play calling that can produce quick early scores.

Red Zone Efficiency
The Eagles learned that while on the road you cannot let red zone opportunities end with FG attempts. In a difficult road test, the Chargers must heed this lesson and convert red zone trips into touchdowns. I like Nate Kaeding and all, but keep him off the field.

"Good teams" win at home. "Good teams" are capable of stealing wins on the road. "Good teams" don't get swept by division rivals. The Chargers, my friends, are a "Good team".

There will be no Salvation for the Broncos on this Charger visit......Ed Hochuli will be far from Denver.

Chargers 31 Broncos 17 (if Simms plays it'll be a hell of a lot worse)

Hate For The Humpday: Belichick Edition

This week's candidate for quantifiable mid-week hate is New England Patriots Head Cock In Charge, Bill Belichick.

The 4th and 2 play call from his own 28 yard line when he had the lead was ballsy and completely foolish. BB made this call with zero timeouts in his hip pocket, meaning he failed to properly manage the game down the stretch. Without a TO to spare he put his team in the unenviable position of hoping that they did not find themselves in need of a replay challenge......Bill, Bill, Bill, you were on the wrong side of the 2-minute warning!

I often lament the conservative nature that coaches take from week to week. The line between winning and losing in the NFL is so fine that coaches dare not take a chance lest it cost their teams a victory and ultimately their own employment. NFL coaches all too often appear fine with losing as long as they played it by the book and didn't take the sort of risk* that would warrant scorn from the punditry. Because I hate that conservative approach there is a small part of me that respects BB for doing something bold.....and I like the decision even more because it meant a loss for the New England Patriots. So if I'm happy because of BB's call then does that nullify the Hate for this Humpday? Hell no.....

Hate Bill Belichick for no other reason than his overwhelming hubris......HE WAS ON THE FUCKING 28 yard LINE! HIS OWN FUCKING 28 yard LINE! NOT THE COLTS 28 yard LINE! HIS OWN 28 yard line!

Hate him because he's a BOOB.....

* See: Couglin, Tom and Reid, Andy.

In the last two weeks against the Chargers these two coaches took ultra conservative positions when faced with going for it on 4th down inside the two or kicking the FG. THAT's WHEN YOU GO FOR IT. Neither coach went for it though. Both teams lost. Scorn from the punditry ensued.

2009 Bolts and Donks: Deja Vu All Over Again

Ordinarily I'd prefer to show a Charger-centric photo but this one said it all: Penalty Flag.

Editor's Note:
So I started this on Sunday and...... well.......it's late. Pizza always tastes good the next day, although this is two days late..... so if you get the "runs", we apologize.

Seriously? The Chargers have won their last four games and the Broncos have lost their last three. This phenomenon has positioned the Bolts to take sole possession of 1st place in the AFC West next Sunday at Mile High. Nice! Very Niiiiiiiiiice!!!

How sad for you. Hope you enjoyed the weather.

Quick notes regarding our beloved Lightening Bolt chuckers.

• The play calling from Norv was pretty dynamic when you subtract the two occasions where he tried to run the little fella on 3rd and short. Give it to LT.....or Tolbert.....or Hester...or even Manemalauna (did I spell that right?) in those situations. Just don't hand it to Sproles. He's small......seriously.....really small.
• Loved seeing Legedu in the Wildcat. One more wrinkle for teams to prepare for.
• LT got holes. LT got yards. Thus endeth the lesson.
• Addendum: offensive line created holes.
• Huge drive by Philip and the offense to eat up the clock and extend the lead to 8 points.
• "Good Teams" win at home. Perhaps we can now be discussed in that realm.
  

Negatives:

• Obviously seeing the offense give up 45o yards through the air hurts but while the D was bending all day it did not break. Red Zone defense yielded FGs not TDs.....and just like that I've turned the negative into a positive.
• Were we helped more by Philly shooting itself in the foot with penalties or by our performance? Eh...don't care.
  
• The Bud Light I was drinking was from the summer so it had exceeded its born-on date and just didn't taste that great. I instead had to enjoy the cool taste of Victory.
• We won and have a shot to take sole possession of first---there are no more negatives.

On to talk of the Denver Debacle:
We have a small contingent attending next week's game and it looked like it may be an uneventful trip around mid October but boy have the tides turned! They've turned so much so that Kyle Orton (injured on the play below) will more than likely be replaced by Chris Simms next Sunday. Chris Simms. Another resounding, SWEEEEEEEEEEET!

We're here to bring the funny and when we can't we look to Denver Broncos coach, Josh McDaniels to do it for us. Listen to the opening line of his post game press conference, after the Redskins game. Think he's got Bolts on the Brain? Thanks to Glorify the Past for the heads-up on this one.

Vencie Says: tellin' it the way it is, each and every week

Vencie Glenn on Philip Rivers' Awesomeness:
"Last week he took a game winning drive and went down and scored. This week he took the ball with 6 minutes and kept the other team from getting the ball back. That is a sign of a QB that is maturing and understands his role and where his team is."

On Next Week's Opponent, Bronco back-up QB Chris Simms, and his lack of Awesomeness:
"PR's gonna give you 28 every game. He gonna give you 28 every game. Simms will not get you 28. He won't even get you 14."

On Bill Belichick's gamble to go for it on 4th down, with a lead, on the Patriots' 30 yard line...against Peyton Manning:
"I just think you take yourself way too serious as a head coach. I just think that was a personal call, had nothing to do with your team trying to win the game, I think he wanted to prove a point, and it backfired and rightfully so it should have and he should be embarrassed."

Vencie Glenn spared Antonio Cromartie this week, but as always, he pulled no punches.

On Our Way To Denver, Where Everyone Must Feel Dead

The best Denver related song there is. How you feelin' Denver?

Defining Moments: Week 10, Chargers v Eagles

Last week the Chargers did what all "Good" teams must stand up and do from time to time: win a tough game on the road.

Regardless of the fact that the Giants were in a bit of a tailspin at the time it was still a great test because the Chargers' primary weakness (stopping the run) would be attacked by the Giants' strength (running the ball). OK so perhaps we were lucky that Coach Coughlin decided to abandon the run and let ShE-LI do the heavy lifting......who cares, the game was three time zones away and the Chargers' had a defining moment.

Today is the time for another defining moment. The Bolts' are home against another tough NFC East team and to keep pace with the foundering Denver Donkeys a victory is called for.

How good are the Eagles? I don't know, who does? They lost to the Raiders and destroyed the Giants so who can definitively say. Here's all we need to know: the Chargers are at home and they must do what all "Good" teams do.......WIN AT HOME. The Chargers are 2-2 at home and that is not the mark of a "Good" team but today they have the chance to prove themselves worthy of the pre-season hype. Defining moments.

I don't care who the opponent is today.
I don't care if PETA is protesting the return of Vick or if he's featured in a Wildcat set.
I don't care about Brian Westbrook's health.
I don't care about Andy Reid's game plan.
I don't care about ANYTHING.......
Except the fact that the Chargers are at HOME.

"Good" teams win at home. Are the Chargers good?

For more Bolt/Eagle previews:

Eagles-Chargers: Predictions, match-ups, and more [Philly.com]
Eagles-Chargers: What To Watch For [619Sports.net]

Acee Advance: Chargers versus Eagles

Hate For The Humpday: the guessing game

Hey, don't call us fruity for the screen scrape......these guys are the ones gettin' cozy!

Guess the object of hate: [click]

Charger Fan In Donkey Land: Week 9 Giants

Week Nine in the Chargers' season took us cross country to meet our rival, the New Your football Giants. Well, they're not really our rival, however we will always have an association with them as long as Rivers and Manning are at their respective helms......you know this because you all heard it over.... and over.... and over.... and over....... this past week.

(Time to Digress)
Not to bore anyone, but I have to make one last comment on this topic before I move on. EARTH TO THE MANNINGS! You are NOT bigger then the game and you do NOT have the right to act as though you are bigger than the Game, stating that you will not play for a certain team, specifically our BOLTS.

"wonk, wonk,wonk"

BUT THANK ALL THAT IS HOLY THAT HE WAS GIVEN THE RIGHT TO DO IT BACK ON DRAFT DAY; NEVER WANTED YOU! Henceforth, you will experience a RIVERS running through your defense, each time our teams meet. Get used to it!

So we looked to last week as a true test against a reasonable opponent, even with them coming off a 3 game losing streak. They talked it up in NY stating it was a must win and the game would take on a playoff atmosphere. Well we look at every game as an opportunity to get another win and we feel confident going up against anyone.

We didn't look unstoppable by any means, but good teams find ways to win week in and week out. No one ever said that had to be pretty, but that last drive in the 4th sure was pretty if you ask this Bolt fan.

A few less dropped passes and this game isn't even close. We released Chambers, but apparently he shook hands with Gatesy and Malcom Floyd, unexpectedly passing on the butterfingers. Glad that is out of our system.......(it is isn't it?)

The play that has to stand out in your mind was when there was an injury timeout and the camera angle panned over to LT, Rivers and Norv talking on the sideline and LT appeared to suggest a play. That play was the next one called and it wasn't for him; it instead went to .43 cent running out of the back field in man to man coverage and getting open for a 25 yrd gain. Nice call LT ; and even better execution by Rivers and .43 cent. However, the biggest shout out has to go to Norv for taking advice and trusting his players and letting them make that call.

Games like these build the character needed for teams moving into the second half of the season. Knowing that your 2 minute drill is capable and knowing that we have shown how we can utilize our weapons to move down the field with the game on the line breeds confidence.

I must say it was hard not to wipe the smile off my face seeing the defensive side of the ball begin to show itself. Seeing the ol' Lights Out dance was nice, not once but twice on Sunday. Weddle also had a good game. I liked seeing the defense show some desire and get to the quarterback with our blitz packages.

They may be baby steps but they're just what the team needs to build confidence, and attitude.

We have another good opponent, in the Iggles, coming to Jack Murphy Field on Sunday. Our House, which we must protect by any means necessary. It is important we get this victory against the Iggles this week and continue the attack all teams that step before us.

They say it is a game of inches and that is exactly what we are away from the lead in the AFC WEST.

Lets get these Iggles, continue on our way, and destroy all who stand in our way. That's how this Charger fan abroad sees it.

Charger Fan In Donkey Land
BOLT PRIDE

Was last night's game in Denburgh?

I hope when our war party of Avengers attend the Chargers game in Denver on November 22nd we're as cozy as these Steeler fans. Look at how many Steeler fans made it to Mile High.

Denver Post columnist, Woody Paige, had some choice words for Bronco season ticket holders in today's column, Paige: Whose stadium is this anyway?:

The 20,000 season-ticket holders who sold their seats — in every section, on every level — to the Steelers' true loyalists should be ashamed. That wasn't a home game for the Broncos. It was a neutralized site.

With 2 1/2 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, the stadium had been emptied out — of orange pompom party poopers. All who remained were Women & Men In Black waving the Terrible Towels in victory.

Sick effort, Denver. If you don't want your tickets, at least scalp them to people who bleed orange, blue, mustard and brown.

I agree Woodrow! Pathetic display! Firstly, why wouldn't you want to see your 1st place team play against the defending champs? Secondly, this game was as important as they come; the Bolts are on a three game winning streak! Hey Woody, what have the Broncos done while the Bolts have climbed their way back into the AFC West race:

The Broncos are 6-2 at the midway juncture of the season but should have a better-feeling texture, because few outside or, even, inside the locker room believed the Broncos would be so lofty on Nov. 9. But the performances in Baltimore and at home (home?) this month have been more septic tank than antiseptic salve.

The Broncos have been outscored 58-17 and have permitted the Chargers to get back in the race.

Just as alarming, the Broncos have not scored in five of their past eight quarters; they have yet to score a touchdown on their first possession this season (but did burp a field goal after the opening kickoff against Pittsburgh); and the only touchdown scored on Monday night was not by the offense, but on a scoop-and- score fumble return.

One offensive touchdown in two games! That efficient offense managed by Orton has become ineffective and unmanageable. New school has become old-fashioned.

That's right the Chargers are back in the race. Now we just need to turn the city of Denver into Jack Murphy Field at Mile High. Get yourselves to Denver Bolt Backers! Woody, you go film another segment of ESPN's Around the Horn.

Oh, Woody Paige....seriously, have you ever watched this show? Train-wreck-ish.

Eric Weddle and the #ELISUCKS Phenomenon

On Sunday the Twitterverse was teeming with Charger Fans attaching the tag, #ELISUCKS, to any and every statement about the Bolts/Giants clash. It was quite gratifying to see so many Bolt Backers bringing a level of fan hatred that is all too frequently missing in America's Finest City. Hate is a fundamental component of following sports so if yo' soul is lacking in vitriol......YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

Having said that, this Twit's favorite Tweet was sans an #ELISUCKS tag.....

"Who's the Boss? Eric Weddle!"
See that Tweet was hilarious because the Chargers were playing in New York and that's where Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano of the '80s hit sitcom, Who's the Boss, were from. Alright.....that's false and more of an excuse to insert gratuitous YouTube footage.......

For those lacking a keen eye (see: employees of ESPN, specifically Keyshawn Johnson) the player that Eric Weddle disintegrated upon impact was Giants TE Kevin Boss hence the extremely clever play on words revolving around a teenage crush on an 80s sitcom star*. BOOM......he's on his back!**

* Didn't everyone have a crush on Alyssa Milano? Did you know she's a Dodger fan and a serial Tweeter?
** Man am I avoiding any sort of serious analysis regarding Sunday's game. I'll leave it to the Charger Fan in Donkey Land.

Vencie Says: On the heels of a big win in NYC Vencie Glenn discusses Antonio Cromartie and tackling

There is no better way to end the week than for Sunday Night Football to conclude and Football Night in San Diego to begin.

NBC's channel seven brings us analysis with a critical eye via former Chargers/NFLers and journalists. This week's episode saw host Jim Laslavic team with Vencie Glenn, JR Tolver, and Jim Trotter to break down the Chargers victory over the Giants.

My favorite part of the segment is when former Charger Safety, Vencie Glenn, lays into Antonio Cromartie for being a girly defender. What did Avenging Jack Murphy's Patron Saint, Vencie Glenn, have to say about our athletic cover corner? Enjoy......

"For whatever reason, he is so afraid of getting hurt"

"This guy's gonna get somebody else hurt and he's gonna cost them a big play when they really need it"

"He just don't want to tackle, it's sad in the NFL that you don't want to tackle and be accountable....but that's who he is."

"He couldn't play for me as a Defensive Coordiator....unless he started tackling. I'm gonna be straight honest... as a defensive player it's almost embarrassing to watch a guy run around out there and avoid contact like he does...and I'm not ever going to change that."

Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor does Avenging Jack Murphy

Voodoo en Viernes on a Sunday Morning: Empower the Chargers and Steelers, damn the rest

The Voodoo has been on tilt so let's switch it up this week.

Rather than hex Brandon Marshall into having another arm-through-the-TV experience, where tendons are severed, arteries are narrowly missed and Denver management is thoroughly pissed let's instead empower his opponent. Let's arm the Pittsburgh Steelers with voodoo.

To this end, Avenging Jack Murphy has joined forces with Steelers Blog, One For The Other Thumb to rally against the Denver Donkeys this Monday Night. AJM took part in the weekly (err...sometimes) segment called Meeting People Is Easy whereby questions, both pertinent and inane related to that week's game, are asked of Steeler fans......and me, representative of the West. In the words of Jim Morrison; "The West is best."

Now don't be myopic on this one! Our enemy's(Broncos) enemy(Steelers) is our friend(Steelers...this week anyway). Also OFTOT is always funny even if it is a Steeler blog, so check it out. Go Steelers(this week)!

Here's a snippet from Meeting People is Easy (click to enlarge):

Representing the West. Click here for the rest of the panelists' answers.

It goes without saying that your Eli Manning Voodoo doll should be disfigured by 12:58 PST.

Go Chargers! Show you belong this week.

Need a laugh? Revel in Andy Reid Photoshops

This photo from last Sunday is very funny yet you have know idea what it has inspired.....

.......I'm here to bring that inspiration to light. This picture of Eagles coach Andy Reid set in motion a torrent of photoshop greatness over at Kissing Suzy Kolber and ultimately my own uncontrollable laughter thus ruining the missus' DVR viewing of Eastwick.

Click here first.....and then here. Enjoy.

Some Hate For The Hump Day: Eli Manning-Need We Say More?

Sad...whaaaaaa!!!...Happy

NFL organizations choose college players, not the other way around. That fact alone is why Eli deserves the wrath of San Diego; the arrogance that allowed a 22 year old boy to use his family's name to dictate where he would play. So glad we got Philip Rivers instead.....and Shawne Merriman....and Nate Kaeding.

Hate away your Hump Day, San Diego.

Need additional reasons for justifiable loathing of Eli Manning? Take a look at a 2004 draft day interview of Eli dug up by the Bolt Bulletin. My hate was rejuvenated after reading it.....

Also check out the Eli Manning/SD Media conference call podcast from XX1090. He fields some interesting questions......ever wonder what happened to Eli's Charger draft day jersey?

Fantasy Football Quandary: A Tight End's Obituary and His Replacement

Owen Daniels was a good Tight End. He refused to let The Tila Tequila Choke Slam be discarded into the compost pile of historically poor Fantasy Football teams......

The Tila Tequila Choke Slam has just lost one of its most consistent and productive players to a season ending ACL tear. Owen Daniels; rest in peace.

The TTCS has climbed back into contention on the broad back of the Texans TE but now it must comb the waiver wire for a viable fill-in. It's never easy to replace the #1 rated player at his position but it is the obligation our proud organization is tasked with. As always advice is being solicited......

These gentlemen are the best available free agents:

Greg Olson
22/215/3
PROS: Great upside. Has a QB who generally likes his TE as a target. CONS: Has really bad hair. His QB is a fuckhead with really bad hair. I wouldn't want to root for the ancillary success of QB fuckhead. Seriously, look at their hair...

Todd Heap
27/278/2
PROS: Great athlete, has a talented QB throwing to him. CONS: His QB looks like Bert from Sesame Street (although that may not factor into the season), and he's always injured.

Ben Watson
15/222/4
PROS:Watson is always a red zone threat because Bill Belichick and Tom Brady hate playing second fiddle to Peyton Manning; an attitude which leads to pass first and run second. CONS: Not a lot of yardage, I hate the Patriots (although I'm using their Defense so what the hell!) and there's the real threat of Tom Brady giving more advice on fashion than on how to beat an opponent.

Chris Cooley
29/332/2
PROS: He's a blogger and has a hot wife. As far as NFL mugshots go Cooley wins best hair. CONS: Has a woeful QB throwing to him, and just had ankle surgery so no immediate contribution (maybe a pick up for the playoffs).

Dustin Keller
23/289/2
He represents the Big Ten (Purdue), and is targeted on Sundays by a rookie QB who eats hot dogs on the sideline after destroying Raiders. Had a huge game on Sunday.....waiver wire flavor of the week.

Deposit two-cents in the comments section.

Chargers 24 Raiders 16

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