Fantasy Football Quandary: A Tight End's Obituary and His Replacement

Owen Daniels was a good Tight End. He refused to let The Tila Tequila Choke Slam be discarded into the compost pile of historically poor Fantasy Football teams......

The Tila Tequila Choke Slam has just lost one of its most consistent and productive players to a season ending ACL tear. Owen Daniels; rest in peace.

The TTCS has climbed back into contention on the broad back of the Texans TE but now it must comb the waiver wire for a viable fill-in. It's never easy to replace the #1 rated player at his position but it is the obligation our proud organization is tasked with. As always advice is being solicited......

These gentlemen are the best available free agents:

Greg Olson
22/215/3
PROS: Great upside. Has a QB who generally likes his TE as a target. CONS: Has really bad hair. His QB is a fuckhead with really bad hair. I wouldn't want to root for the ancillary success of QB fuckhead. Seriously, look at their hair...

Todd Heap
27/278/2
PROS: Great athlete, has a talented QB throwing to him. CONS: His QB looks like Bert from Sesame Street (although that may not factor into the season), and he's always injured.

Ben Watson
15/222/4
PROS:Watson is always a red zone threat because Bill Belichick and Tom Brady hate playing second fiddle to Peyton Manning; an attitude which leads to pass first and run second. CONS: Not a lot of yardage, I hate the Patriots (although I'm using their Defense so what the hell!) and there's the real threat of Tom Brady giving more advice on fashion than on how to beat an opponent.

Chris Cooley
29/332/2
PROS: He's a blogger and has a hot wife. As far as NFL mugshots go Cooley wins best hair. CONS: Has a woeful QB throwing to him, and just had ankle surgery so no immediate contribution (maybe a pick up for the playoffs).

Dustin Keller
23/289/2
He represents the Big Ten (Purdue), and is targeted on Sundays by a rookie QB who eats hot dogs on the sideline after destroying Raiders. Had a huge game on Sunday.....waiver wire flavor of the week.

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