Padres Fanfest: The Padres and Pints Rapid Fire Poll

On Saturday the San Diego Padres held their annual Fanfest.

We met for a special episode of Padres and Pints with Padres COO and President Tom Garfinkel to discuss Fanfest, 2012 promotions, and San Diego's craft brewing scene at PETCO Park.

Mr. Garfinkel also fielded the ridiculous set of questions that have come to be known as Rapid Fire.

Now have your say with the Rapid Fire Poll . . .

The questions began with the usual content: Breakfast.




Garfinkel is a good sport regarding the Breakfasttown talk and why he shouldn't he be, really? Breakfast is fairly awesome.

Tom made an interesting point regarding breakfast in San Diego. He said that he's never stood in line for dinner in San Diego but he sure has for breakfast. Well I've stood in lines for both but none are more epic than the queues coming out of my favorite breakfast places. Hear, hear, Breakfasttown U.S.A!

I'm going to combine the next two Rapid Fire questions into one since both revolved around breakfast dishes.





Clearly there are many other choices . . . perhaps, a skillet? The above four however, were the first to pop into my head. I apologize if the absence of your breakfast mainstays has left you feeling slighted.

Tom and I began to riff during Rapid Fire and I asked him about Breakfast destinations. I'll go on record as saying, I'm a moron for not originally asking it.




As President of the Padres Tom Garfinkel is required to toe a line of political correctness which made the next question a bit wasteful. But there's no reason you can't sound off. It's not an easy one . . .




And finally a college football question to round it off. Garfinkel is a Michigan guy and I'm a Notre Dame guy but I'll amend it slightly so as not to ruffle your delicate sensibilities.




I need to set the parameters for a Notre Dame/Michigan bet with Garfinkel. Hmmm . . .

Until next time, this was your Rapid Fire!

African Proverbs: The Padres Front Office Edition

While using African proverbs to identify Orlando Hudson's numerous missteps in a Padres uniform I also found a few others to explain the happenings down on 19 Tony Gwynn Drive. They didn't quite fit with the discussion of San Diego's second baseman so here they are in a post teeming with optimism...

 

If your cornfield is far from your house, the birds will eat your corn. ~ Pygmy proverb

 

What better way to explain the Padres decision to move their AAA club from Portland to Tucson with the endgame being a subsequent move to the Escondido area. Alas, California is a mess and with no redevelopment money coming the Tucson Padres are stuck in-- well, Tucson. Currently it is unclear if the birds represent the dry desert air that destroys the minds of pitchers and the mechanics of hitters or if the Nippon-Ham Fighters have advanced scouts in place. We may need a Pygmy to solve this one.

 

One cannot both feast and become rich.  ~Ashanti proverb

 

This is clearly a proverb never considered by teams like the Yankees and Red Sox. They need not consider it because they live in another dimension. It's a fantasy world, one in which money does fall from trees. The Padres, on the other hand, face a far different plight. The San Diego club in many ways serves as a microcosm of the lifestyle most Americans must choose. Sacrifices must be made before rewards can be reaped. Slowly the Padres payroll is creeping upwards. Responsibly.

 

Blind belief is dangerous. ~ Luyia proverb

 

While blind belief is dangerous belief in and of itself is not. Belief accompanied by probing questions. Belief in the process. Belief in your people. Belief in the belief that "Believe SD" was a winning marketing slogan for an overachieving 2010 Padres team that played meaningful ballgames until game #162. What I'm saying is, that it's essential to believe in belief. Not blind belief, mind you. Just to be Big Believers In Belief. Ask Josh Byrnes.

 

A messenger cannot be beaten. ~ Luyia proverb

 

In 2009 Padres President and COO, Tom Garfinkel, proclaimed that San Diego was and forever shall be a Breakfast Town. This was not his message. He was merely the messenger for what Rolf Benirschke had conveyed to him over, conveniently, breakfast. While Garfinkel received a lambasting for the insinuation that he knew San Diego after such a brief tenure in town, something funny happened. We (I) decided that as lovers of breakfast perhaps San Diego is a breakfasttown. Now in the AJM household every Tuesday night is Breakfast for Dinner night and the omniscient Garfinkel sits back and smiles. While Mr. Garfinkel receives holiday cards from the Vocal Minority he sends his to the Luyia in Kenya. He took a beating and survived.

 

You do not teach the paths of the forest to an old gorilla. ~ Congolese proverb

 

In late 2011 and early 2012 two pivotal moments occurred for the Padres. They signed Mark Kotsay to serve as a bench player and as mentor to a young club in need of leadership. The experienced clubhouse gorilla, if you will. 

 

Then Jeff Moorad attended the Baseball Owners meeting to seek approval for the full purchase of the Padres from John Moores. He was publicly rebuked. Moorad took the news calmly even though that no good bastard Ken Kendrickson of the Diamondbacks was doing everything possible to block the purchase. While John Moores flipped out and refused to vote for Bud Selig's continued stewardship of MLB, Jeffrey Moorad continued to stay the course. Calmly. Moorad understands the path.

 

Stolen things bring in misfortune. ~Kenyan proverb

 

On November 13th of 2010 the Padres obtained Cameron Maybin for Ryan Webb and Edward Mujica. On rare occasions African wisdom must be rejected.

 

Two male hippos do not stay in the same pond. ~ Azania proverb

 

After acquiring Yonder Alonso in the Mat Latos trade Padres General Manager Josh Byrnes decides that he doesn't want a Quarterback Controversy at first base with Anthony Rizzo. Rizzo is shipped to Chicago on January 6th for Andrew Cashner.

 

Money is sharper than the sword. ~ Ashanti proverb

 

In early 2012 the Padres decided to make a concerted effort to accumulate more monetary reserves. The first step in this process was to return all swords for cash-- a controversial decision to be sure, as everyone knows that swords are cool. First the trade of Adrian Gonzalez and now the Padres' surplus of swords. Nobody said it would be easy as a Padres fan.

 

Armed with the wisdom of proverbs the San Diego Padres' pilgrimage into 2012 continues.

Thomas Jefferson and Breakfasttown

I'll begin with a bit of honesty. You don't want to read this.

It's not really about Thomas Jefferson and limited constitutional government. It's not even about Breakfasttown, per se. If I was going to list people who would have the slightest interest in this non-sense, I'd cap it at about five people. Five Padres fans*. And I don't even think they would care.

Yet I must write about this experience . . .

I went to Washington D.C. last year. On day one we drove down to Thomas Jefferson's home, Monticello. An amazing property. Historic. Anyways, I was with a group. I decided to wear a shirt that represented where I was from and also stood out amongst a sea of people. I went with a Gaslamp Ball creation: Welcome to Breakfasttown USA:

Bright. Beautiful. Breakfasttown. Glorious. 

So imagine my delight as I worked my way through a tour of Jefferson's Monticello only to find myself in his dining room where I literally disappeared . . .

Look at those Chrome Yellow walls! I stood against the wall and looked like a floating head.

While my smile stretched ear to ear, deep inside me resided a reservoir of pain. With a strict no photograph policy inside of the home I could not properly capture the glory of Breakfasttown's rendezvous with Thomas Jefferson. Instead I settled for a likeness from the historic site's web page.

My pain also extended from the knowledge that at that exact moment the San Diego Padres were taking batting practice in Washington D.C. preparing to face the Nationals in a three game series. I didn't see one of the games . . .

C'est la vie, as they say.

Thomas Jefferson, who held the French in high esteem, would likely agree.

* The five people who might give a hoot are those who have bought Breakfasttown t-shirts. I don't even know what the number is up to these days but I cannot imagine anyone outside of the t-shirt owning minority to care about this. And even then . . .

Tom Garfinkel Wants Peter Gammons' Head On A Stick

After Peter Gammons' article on MLB this morning and the subsequent Twitter chatter across San Diego a dialogue began to run through my mind. A dialogue between Hall of Fame baseball writer Peter Gammons and Padres' COO and President, Tom Garfinkel. An imaginary dialogue.

Or was it . . .
Tom Garfinkel: Hey Pete. Good Morning.

Peter Gammons: Good morning Tom. Hey, let me turn down my 8-track. Just listening to some Buddy Guy.

TG: Yup. Take your time.

PG: Alright . . . hey, thank you for the access yesterday morning. Those tidbits on Mat Latos were gold.

TG: Yeah. That's what I was calling about.

PG: Oh yea. What is it?

TG: As I was eating breakfast this morning I read through your column at MLB.

PG: How did it come off? 

TG: Well. I'm not gonna lie. I do have a gripe.

PG: Look Tom. The information about Latos and his Tattoo before game 162 in 2010 was provided by your media relations department. Was this information inaccurate?

TG: No, no, no . . .

PG: Just stop! I understand that Twitter is full of useless little twits that parse everyone's words but what do you want me to do? You wanted Latos to look like he was a shaky employee. I framed it in such a way. You wanted Latos to look like his priorities were elsewhere. I did it. I'm a Hall of Fame writer, Tom. What more do you want from me. The Padres look like geniuses right now. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!

TG: No. Peter. I think there's a misunderstanding.

PG: What!?

TG: We're the Padres, Peter. Not the Friars. We're the San Diego Padres. The title of your article says, "Depth Accelerating Friars' Return To Contention". We'd just prefer that you call us the Padres.

PG: What?

TG: It's just that we'd like you to refer to our name correctly.

PG: The Padres. Not the Friars? 

TG: The Padres.


PG: You don't like the Friars?

TG: I wouldn't say I dislike it. We're the Padres. We should refer to ourselves as the Padres. Friars is part of our history. But in formal settings, in the broadcast booth, in releases, we should be the Padres.

PG: OK. I can do that.

TG: Thanks, Peter. I loved the article. Have you had breakfast yet?

PG: ( . . . silence . . )