Cuckoo for Nick Canepa: Assumptions and false narratives

This morning MLB owners approved the Padres sale from John Moores to the O'Malley/Fowler/Mickelson group. Last evening Nick Canepa wrote a column called, Padres appear headed in right direction. It made me say, "Cuckoo." . . .

For the most part the column wasn't bad. Canepa advocated retaining CEO and President, Tom Garfinkel, with which I wholeheartedly agree (I'll say something about the Garfinkel Situation later). Canepa also said other stuff. I hate to nitpick but I come undone when I read confounding ideas, and all it takes is one. To wit:

Byrnes reminds me a bit of former GM Kevin Towers. After former boss Jeff Moorad fired Towers, I wrote Moorad’s first major decision would be the worst he would make as an owner. I wasn’t wrong. Moores, who still had controlling interest in the team, shouldn’t have allowed it to happen.

Oh yes Nick, I remember. I believe it was October of 2011 when you last referenced this sentiment and I skewered your column for it.

But there wasn't just one confounding idea. There were at least two! Canepa would go on to write his next puzzling tidbit in the subsequent paragraph:

But that’s baseball. Towers is doing fine in Arizona. And, after making the decision to replace KT with Jed Hoyer — another mistake, not because Hoyer was ill-equipped, just a bad fit here — Moorad made it right in naming Byrnes GM after Hoyer bailed to take on the unenviable (but more lucrative) task of trying to put the Cubs back together again.  

Cuckoo. I'm going to try and work this one out. Here it goes . . .

Jed Hoyer was not ill-equipped to take a job as GM of the Padres. This means that he was equipped to take a job as GM of the Padres. Yet another way to say it would be to write that he was qualified, prepared or ready.

So if Jed Hoyer was qualified for the job of general manager then why on earth was he a bad fit in San Diego?

I'm relying on a thesaurus now.

If you are fit then one could say that you are competent. Or, qualified. Or, prepared. Or even, ready.

But if you are a bad fit then you are the opposite of fit, which means you are incapable. At least that's what the thesaurus says: Incapable is the antonym for fit. And since Jed Hoyer was a bad fit in San Diego I am left to assume that Nick Canepa believes that Jed was simultaneously incapable and qualified. 'Tis a conundrum we have here.

The reader is left to assume what Nick Canepa is talking about. Since I am someone who is dialed in to the local baseball scene I am going to make an assumption which may be totally off-base.

I think Canepa is trying to convey that while Jed Hoyer was qualified and ready to become a GM in major league baseball he was not suited for the job in San Diego. Jed came from large market Boston where the pockets were deep and perhaps Canepa feels that he didn't have the proper mindset to operate on a shoestring budget in small market San Diego. Does that sound reasonable?

It doesn't sound reasonable when you consider that Jed Hoyer focused heavily on the draft (a place where small market teams can exploit available talent at relatively modest cost) and also emphasized building a club that could use PETCO Park to its advantage. Using PETCO to its advantage means building a strong rotation and bullpen along with defense and speed which are all relatively inexpensive attributes when juxtaposed with free-agent power hitters. It kind of sounds like Jed Hoyer understood what it meant to build a club in small market San Diego and maybe he was . . . a good fit?

This isn't a defense of Jed Hoyer. He's gone. Whatever.

I wrote this because Nick Canepa makes no sense. When I write things I always re-read them to see if it makes sense. Sometimes my ideas are not coherent. So I go back and fix what I wrote. Sometimes it still doesn't make sense and I say, "Too bad, you're reading this for free!"

I tried to figure out what Nick said. I offered an idea. And then I debunked myself and quite possibly Nick. I'm pretty sure it's what Nick Canepa meant and all I can think is: He sure displays an amazing commitment to a false narrative.

Where art thou, Tim Sullivan?

While the Padres are extending guys not named Chase Headley, allow me to opine

This has been a strange summer.

The Padres sucked upon admittance to the warm season and now we sweat beads of optimism as we push through August. Strange.

As fans expected trades to color our summer the Padres have instead extended a core of players: Carlos Quentin, Huston Street, and now veteran clubhouse presence/role player type, Mark Kotsay.

Since the Padres are extending players not named Chase Headley allow me to make a suggestion . . .


I ask you first to read the following quotes:

"Understanding there's still growth to come makes what he's doing even scarier. He's so advanced right now, especially with the bat. He takes great swings. He has power from both sides of the plate. But the thing I appreciate the most is he's willing to listen and learn."

Hmm. Whose words are these? And of who does he speak?

"He wants to improve. After the first game he played, he asked me if he was setting up too early. He's asking about how to talk to pitchers to get them going the right way. He's open to advice. He doesn't think he knows it all, which is a huge asset to someone so young. Some young players who advance to the big leagues so fast feel like they know it all. That's his biggest asset . . . his capability to learn and understand and process information quickly and translate that into a baseball game. I think he's way advance (sic) beyond players his age."

I get the sense that you're an intelligent person. So you know who this quote is about and you probably have a decent idea of who said it. Let me give you a little more.

"The first thing I said about him in Spring Training after watching him swing the bat and catch a few bullpens was that I thought this guy was going to be an All-Star in the Big Leagues. It's just a matter of time."

Alright let's dispense with the quotes. Finalize your guesses. And continue reading . . .

These quotes appeared in Corey Brock's article, The Fast Track, in Issue #08 of the 2012 Blue Print.

The cover boy for Issue #08 was Yasmani Grandal and the above commentary was provided by . . .  if you guessed catcher John Baker then you're smarter than a guy who calls himself Ochocinco instead of Ochenta y Cinco to signify his football number.

While I have no problem denigrating the name of Chad Johnson/Ocho Cinco I'm not here to disparage Nick Hundley who may very well be a fantastic teammate. The problem with Nick Hundley however, is that he's a 28 year-old guaranteed $7M through the 2014 seasons. I don't know it with certainty but I  have to imagine that Nick still fancies himself as a starter more than he does a mentor to the youngster Yasmani Grandal. But it is Grandal who is a part of the future not Hundley.

When we look at the words of John Baker we see a guy who understands his role, a guy who knows that Grandal is the future, yet still wants to serve as his mentor. Baker went to Cal Berkley which means that, while he might smell like patchouli oil, he's definitely intelligent. Moving forward, I think that he and Grandal would make a fine team.

John Baker currently earns $750K and he's arbitration eligible. The Padres need to act now. Don't let Baker even get to arbitration. If Tom Garfinkel gives Baker a sales pitch with Huston Street standing over his right shoulder it's a done deal -- Baker will take the league minimum!

***

In all seriousness: I think Chase Headley will get an extension this winter and Nick Hundley will be traded. I also think the Padres would be wise to keep John Baker around to back up Yasmani Grandal. I'm not saying he deserves a full No Trade Clause, just that we shouldn't discriminate against catchers from Berkley who may, or may not, smell like they once made a living selling Jerry Bear t-shirts during Grateful Dead tours.

Padres Fanfest: The Padres and Pints Rapid Fire Poll

On Saturday the San Diego Padres held their annual Fanfest.

We met for a special episode of Padres and Pints with Padres COO and President Tom Garfinkel to discuss Fanfest, 2012 promotions, and San Diego's craft brewing scene at PETCO Park.

Mr. Garfinkel also fielded the ridiculous set of questions that have come to be known as Rapid Fire.

Now have your say with the Rapid Fire Poll . . .

The questions began with the usual content: Breakfast.




Garfinkel is a good sport regarding the Breakfasttown talk and why he shouldn't he be, really? Breakfast is fairly awesome.

Tom made an interesting point regarding breakfast in San Diego. He said that he's never stood in line for dinner in San Diego but he sure has for breakfast. Well I've stood in lines for both but none are more epic than the queues coming out of my favorite breakfast places. Hear, hear, Breakfasttown U.S.A!

I'm going to combine the next two Rapid Fire questions into one since both revolved around breakfast dishes.





Clearly there are many other choices . . . perhaps, a skillet? The above four however, were the first to pop into my head. I apologize if the absence of your breakfast mainstays has left you feeling slighted.

Tom and I began to riff during Rapid Fire and I asked him about Breakfast destinations. I'll go on record as saying, I'm a moron for not originally asking it.




As President of the Padres Tom Garfinkel is required to toe a line of political correctness which made the next question a bit wasteful. But there's no reason you can't sound off. It's not an easy one . . .




And finally a college football question to round it off. Garfinkel is a Michigan guy and I'm a Notre Dame guy but I'll amend it slightly so as not to ruffle your delicate sensibilities.




I need to set the parameters for a Notre Dame/Michigan bet with Garfinkel. Hmmm . . .

Until next time, this was your Rapid Fire!

Over At The Fro: Padres and Pints Episode 3 (Fanfest Edition)

This last weekend The 'Fro and AJM were the recipients of an excellent opportunity: a moment to sit down with Padres COO and President Tom Garfinkel. 

In a short but sweet episode of Padres and Pints we discussed the greatness of Fanfest, the 2012 promotion schedule, Craft beer at PETCO Park and the merits of breakfast. And it all took place in the bowls of PETCO under a painting of Randy Jones in the exclusive* Sony Home Plate Club.

*and dimly lit.

 Head over to RJ's Fro for the latest installment of Padres and Pints.

African Proverbs: The Padres Front Office Edition

While using African proverbs to identify Orlando Hudson's numerous missteps in a Padres uniform I also found a few others to explain the happenings down on 19 Tony Gwynn Drive. They didn't quite fit with the discussion of San Diego's second baseman so here they are in a post teeming with optimism...

 

If your cornfield is far from your house, the birds will eat your corn. ~ Pygmy proverb

 

What better way to explain the Padres decision to move their AAA club from Portland to Tucson with the endgame being a subsequent move to the Escondido area. Alas, California is a mess and with no redevelopment money coming the Tucson Padres are stuck in-- well, Tucson. Currently it is unclear if the birds represent the dry desert air that destroys the minds of pitchers and the mechanics of hitters or if the Nippon-Ham Fighters have advanced scouts in place. We may need a Pygmy to solve this one.

 

One cannot both feast and become rich.  ~Ashanti proverb

 

This is clearly a proverb never considered by teams like the Yankees and Red Sox. They need not consider it because they live in another dimension. It's a fantasy world, one in which money does fall from trees. The Padres, on the other hand, face a far different plight. The San Diego club in many ways serves as a microcosm of the lifestyle most Americans must choose. Sacrifices must be made before rewards can be reaped. Slowly the Padres payroll is creeping upwards. Responsibly.

 

Blind belief is dangerous. ~ Luyia proverb

 

While blind belief is dangerous belief in and of itself is not. Belief accompanied by probing questions. Belief in the process. Belief in your people. Belief in the belief that "Believe SD" was a winning marketing slogan for an overachieving 2010 Padres team that played meaningful ballgames until game #162. What I'm saying is, that it's essential to believe in belief. Not blind belief, mind you. Just to be Big Believers In Belief. Ask Josh Byrnes.

 

A messenger cannot be beaten. ~ Luyia proverb

 

In 2009 Padres President and COO, Tom Garfinkel, proclaimed that San Diego was and forever shall be a Breakfast Town. This was not his message. He was merely the messenger for what Rolf Benirschke had conveyed to him over, conveniently, breakfast. While Garfinkel received a lambasting for the insinuation that he knew San Diego after such a brief tenure in town, something funny happened. We (I) decided that as lovers of breakfast perhaps San Diego is a breakfasttown. Now in the AJM household every Tuesday night is Breakfast for Dinner night and the omniscient Garfinkel sits back and smiles. While Mr. Garfinkel receives holiday cards from the Vocal Minority he sends his to the Luyia in Kenya. He took a beating and survived.

 

You do not teach the paths of the forest to an old gorilla. ~ Congolese proverb

 

In late 2011 and early 2012 two pivotal moments occurred for the Padres. They signed Mark Kotsay to serve as a bench player and as mentor to a young club in need of leadership. The experienced clubhouse gorilla, if you will. 

 

Then Jeff Moorad attended the Baseball Owners meeting to seek approval for the full purchase of the Padres from John Moores. He was publicly rebuked. Moorad took the news calmly even though that no good bastard Ken Kendrickson of the Diamondbacks was doing everything possible to block the purchase. While John Moores flipped out and refused to vote for Bud Selig's continued stewardship of MLB, Jeffrey Moorad continued to stay the course. Calmly. Moorad understands the path.

 

Stolen things bring in misfortune. ~Kenyan proverb

 

On November 13th of 2010 the Padres obtained Cameron Maybin for Ryan Webb and Edward Mujica. On rare occasions African wisdom must be rejected.

 

Two male hippos do not stay in the same pond. ~ Azania proverb

 

After acquiring Yonder Alonso in the Mat Latos trade Padres General Manager Josh Byrnes decides that he doesn't want a Quarterback Controversy at first base with Anthony Rizzo. Rizzo is shipped to Chicago on January 6th for Andrew Cashner.

 

Money is sharper than the sword. ~ Ashanti proverb

 

In early 2012 the Padres decided to make a concerted effort to accumulate more monetary reserves. The first step in this process was to return all swords for cash-- a controversial decision to be sure, as everyone knows that swords are cool. First the trade of Adrian Gonzalez and now the Padres' surplus of swords. Nobody said it would be easy as a Padres fan.

 

Armed with the wisdom of proverbs the San Diego Padres' pilgrimage into 2012 continues.

Tom Garfinkel Wants Peter Gammons' Head On A Stick

After Peter Gammons' article on MLB this morning and the subsequent Twitter chatter across San Diego a dialogue began to run through my mind. A dialogue between Hall of Fame baseball writer Peter Gammons and Padres' COO and President, Tom Garfinkel. An imaginary dialogue.

Or was it . . .
Tom Garfinkel: Hey Pete. Good Morning.

Peter Gammons: Good morning Tom. Hey, let me turn down my 8-track. Just listening to some Buddy Guy.

TG: Yup. Take your time.

PG: Alright . . . hey, thank you for the access yesterday morning. Those tidbits on Mat Latos were gold.

TG: Yeah. That's what I was calling about.

PG: Oh yea. What is it?

TG: As I was eating breakfast this morning I read through your column at MLB.

PG: How did it come off? 

TG: Well. I'm not gonna lie. I do have a gripe.

PG: Look Tom. The information about Latos and his Tattoo before game 162 in 2010 was provided by your media relations department. Was this information inaccurate?

TG: No, no, no . . .

PG: Just stop! I understand that Twitter is full of useless little twits that parse everyone's words but what do you want me to do? You wanted Latos to look like he was a shaky employee. I framed it in such a way. You wanted Latos to look like his priorities were elsewhere. I did it. I'm a Hall of Fame writer, Tom. What more do you want from me. The Padres look like geniuses right now. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!

TG: No. Peter. I think there's a misunderstanding.

PG: What!?

TG: We're the Padres, Peter. Not the Friars. We're the San Diego Padres. The title of your article says, "Depth Accelerating Friars' Return To Contention". We'd just prefer that you call us the Padres.

PG: What?

TG: It's just that we'd like you to refer to our name correctly.

PG: The Padres. Not the Friars? 

TG: The Padres.


PG: You don't like the Friars?

TG: I wouldn't say I dislike it. We're the Padres. We should refer to ourselves as the Padres. Friars is part of our history. But in formal settings, in the broadcast booth, in releases, we should be the Padres.

PG: OK. I can do that.

TG: Thanks, Peter. I loved the article. Have you had breakfast yet?

PG: ( . . . silence . . )

Great Moments in 2010: The Padres Climb to .500 and I discuss the game I attended on Friday

After 12 games and a nice little sweep of the visiting D-Backs of Hell on Earth, Arizona, the Padres are perfectly average (6-6) with the first place Gigantes (8-4) of San Francisco coming to town.

I believe we are nicely positioned to rise above the .500 mark tonight with the Giants' Matt Cain on the hill. He's a fantastic pitcher but he's all hard luck versus San Diego. My optimism runneth over...

[UPDATE: I began writing this in the afternoon. Matt Cain got no run support this evening. Padres won. They are above .500. I WAS RIGHT!!!]

I mentioned, in an earlier post, that I wanted to discuss the "fan experience". Since I attended Friday night's "Chase Headley Walk-Off-Win Bonanza" I figured I'd address that "fan experience" now. The  items up for discussion are as follows:

• OBSTRUCTED VIEW SEATS: People who complain about obstructed seats are, in general, a useless lot. When constructing a park where the objective is to get the fans close to the action and you've included a historic brick building into the park, you run the risk of cutting off some viewing angles. Get used to it, crybabies! Having qualified my opinion on people who cry about obstructions, let me say that sitting in Field Pavilion Section 124 SUCKS!!! Can't see the Jumbo and difficult to track all of the other boards simply because I'm not used to it. The 2B by Eck in the 9th required me to jump out of my seat and run down the aisle to see if it cleared the LF's head....it did. I then craned my neck to see the replay. It was nice. I was locked into these seats because I was with a group so there was little I could do about the view but in the future I'll be sure to grab a better seat. I advise you do the same..... or at least keep your mouth shut about those obstructed view seats (click below to continue reading).

• DIRECTIVES FORM THE SCOREBOARD: Seriously, stop telling me to make noise. I know when I should be standing and clapping. I also know when I should just be standing in anticipation. Just because you have fancy graphics doesn't mean you need to use them. I'll try to tell fans when to make noise.....kinda like when you're teaching someone to play Blackjack because you don't want them to take the dealer's bust card and ruin everyone's night. It'll be just like a hand of Blackjack except no money will change hands......
• GAME DAY PROGRAMS: Ooops! Because I was required to socialize at the game in question I didn't dive into the program.....and I forgot it there! Crap! But it was free, small and will allegedly be given away at every game. Dope!
• UN-INFORMED UNIFORMED FOOD STAND PERSONNEL: It came to that point in the game where I needed to switch from cold to hot beverages and boy did those in uniform have a difficult time directing me. I was told to go see a person who then directed me across the way to another who then looked to her partner for guidance.....who then sent me to the appropriate stand. Need a flow chart for that? If I had time I'd make one......since I don't..... PLEASE GET THIS FIXED, MR. GARFINKEL! Every employee should know EXACTLY where all concessions are located. In customer service it's simply not good enough to say "I don't know." Or in this case, to keep sending someone down the line, in hopes that  they find what they're looking for. I'm done sounding like grumpy old man.
• YOUNG PLAYERS GETTING IT DONE: When ever young, home-grown players contribute to a win, it's a recipe for a great "fan experience".
• FIREWORKS: They were cool.

Loved being at the park this weekend. Hope I can get out once more before Beer Fest on April 30th.

What Do You Want From The Padres? Let The Man (...or men) Know

I posted this same letter @ Gaslamp Ball this afternoon because it has become apparent that Padres' COO Tom Garfinkle, in addition to being able to expertly quote Austin Powers, also looks in on the comments at GLB. It is my recommendation that if you want your voice heard, follow this link, get a screen name with SB Nation, and sound off.

Dear Mr. Moorad and Mr. Garfinkle:

I originally intended on sending you a formal letter to discuss some ideas from a fan's perspective but now that I know Mr. Garfinkle is a Gaslamp Baller why not do it here where all Padre fans can give their two cents. Further impetus for this letter was fueled by a post at The Sacrifice Bunt this morning discussing some of their ideas. Here are a few of my thoughts:

Uniforms (In agreement w/ The Sacrifice Bunt):

This seems like a superficial and frivolous request as aesthetics should be secondary to winning but I think it goes much deeper than the surface. As a franchise that lacks a winning tradition and very few recognizable stars through its history there should be a constant, something that fans can hang their hat on as it relates to their fanhood. A Padre is brown and while not the coolest color in the rainbow......ok.....even the rainbow left brown out of the equation......the point is that brown is a unique color in MLB (as is sand) and we should accept it and embrace it. The uniforms aren't bad right now with the exception of the color scheme and you could always look to the '69s for a solid style. Everyone also seems to love the '84s although I would use those as a throwback. The point is that there are franchises out there that have only made the most minor of changes over time......they are also the teams with solid traditions (I need not name teams here). A Padre wears brown. Let's embrace our history rather than run from it.

The Seats minus the fans:

When watching a game on TV there is a message that is quite explicit being communicated over the airwaves: There is nothing going on here......stay away......save your money! The view from my living room shows empty seats all up and down the left field line so I recommend creating some buzz. Upgrade as many people as you can after the 1st inning so it creates the illusion that there are a lot of people there eagerly watching the young, up and coming Padres of the future. Create the illusion (in the short term) that Petco is the place to be. Too dishonest and costly of a ploy? OK....no upgrades. Give the Reserved Field Level tickets away for free during the week.

• Get more military guys down here, for free ( they'll take their fond memories around the world and if they leave SD at a time when the team is playing good baseball they may be lifetime fans---perhaps subscribers to a future cable television package?).
• Get more of the African-American community here, for free (Baseball is dying in inner cities. We have three young African-Americans on the roster in Blanks, Venable, Gwynn.....our #1 draft pick in Donavan Tate....and the Greatest Padre of them all, Mr. Gwynn. Get young kids in here for free and let them meet these guys----perhaps future fans who will look back in fondness and gladly pay as adults)
• Get more of the Latin community here, for free (I think you guys already do this but I thought I'd mention it considering the # of Venezuelans on the roster----let the town meet these guys)

This list could continue to go on with every demographic of people living San Diego but I think the point is that the seats are open (grossly open) so why not try something that will create life long fans.

Field Name

With all due respect The San Diego Padres have the worst park name in Major League Baseball. I'm not going to ask you to do the noble thing and shun corporate dollars that are thrown at you but I think giving a name to the field would make San Diego look slightly less stupid (Jack Murphy Field at Qualcom Stadium). Jack Murphy brought the Padres to San Diego so I don't see why we can't name it Jack Murphy Field at Petco Park.....that's just me....but anything would be an improvement over seeing only the name Petco in bright lights. How about something to do with Ted Williams, a PCL Padre? Something that gives a sense of history and tradition.

Draft Picks

You will take a giant step backwards if the 2009 group does not get signed. With Peavy gone, money is there: this is both perception and reality. Show that there is a commitment to drafting, developing, and playing dynamic young talent in San Diego. This must be done to show that there is a genuine commitment to building a World Series contender....not a competitive team.....a World Series contender. If you do that you will satisfy your fledgling fan base as well add all of the bandwagon types we saw in 1998. If you win they will come.

I could probably say a few more things but now it's time for my fellow Padre fans to have their say. I appreciate your acknowledgement of the fans here at Gaslamp Ball and hope that some of our ideas might help to give you a sense of what the fans in San Diego expect and hope for.

Respectfully

Avenger-In-Chief

Avenging Jack Murphy

A Padre Fan since 1986