Week 4: Chargers, Steelers, and C3PO

Pondering a 38-28 loss to the Steelers.....

Here's all I've got: as it relates to being a fan of San Diego sports teams, I quote a sage from a Galaxy, Far, Far, Away: "It is our lot in life to suffer."

Let's not take anything away from the Pittsburgh Steelers. They're the defending champs, enjoying some home cooking, and by all accounts had their backs against the wall. They should have won. But that game was ridiculous.

I think if we were forced to trade Philip Rivers away for another quarterback, I'd choose Ben Roethlisberger. He's tough and nearly impossible to haul down in the pocket...or any where on the field for that matter. But c'mon. He completed 79% of his passes! Do you know what kind of QB completes nearly 80% of his passes? No..... the answer is not a "Legend". QBs who complete 80% of their passes are PLAYING AGAINST EXTRAORDINARILY SHITTY DEFENSES!!!!!!! The cushion evident after their receiving corp caught Big Ben's passes was ridiculous. Just really porous defense. An embarrassment.

And Rashard Mendenhall......newsflash, Charger D......he's a former number one draft pick who also happens to carry an adjective that no football player ever wants attached to them: soft. Yes. Soft. A "soft" running back carved you up to the tune of 165 yards and 2 TDs. When he wasn't barreling over defenders, he was bouncing off of those who were completely uncommitted to the tackle.

Antonio Cromartie is a complete joke of a football player. I know he had at least three penalties, continued to tackle like a girl, as well as give obscene cushions to every receiver who came his way. I'm sure there's a lot of other crap he did too, like impregnate some baggage handler on the trip into the 'Burgh. I don't know the human but I HATE the football player.

Norv Turner. Sure, professional football players shouldn't need someone to get them fired up to play the game.....and that's a good thing because Norv is incapable of such a task. But a head coach needs to have his team ready to play from the time of the opening kickoff and Norv fails miserably there. Down 14-0 with the snap of a finger? That's four consecutive games, off to a crappy start. Waiting until it was 28-0 to mount a come back? The Chargers, often described as "one of the most talented teams in the league" (we have talented offensive personnel and a defense that gives up 500 yards---pundits, please stop referring to this team as talented and deep and all of that other crap), haven't scored a TD on the opening drive in over 20 straight games. That's on Norval.

So what's the answer for these Chargers?

There is no answer for them, only you. Get used to the disappointment as both a Charger and Padre fan because it will last in perpetuity. As San Diegans we are a cursed lot of fans. Much like the Red Sox carried the burden of an 86 year curse after the unceremonious dumping of a future hall of famer (all for the purpose of funding a Broadway play), so too do we have a cross to bear. Losing is our penance for being able to wear shorts and flip flops in January. This loss is my penance right now.....being able to eff around after the game and still get a decent night's sleep because I view games in Pacific Standard Time. Well rested fans deserve to lose, as no sacrifice has been offered to the Football Gods. Losing is our atonement, fellow San Diegans.....keep it in mind while others are shoveling their driveways in January and you're working on your foot tan.

Editor's Note:
Former Charger Vencie Glenn pulled no punches in his assessment of the Bolt's D during Channel 7's Sunday Night Football In San Diego after the game. Zero sugar coating. I like Vencie. He too appears to want Cromartie's head on a stick.

The Ray Lewis Take on Norv's Play Calling

I still haven't seen the game so I don't know if I'm qualified to comment on whether or not Norv is as big a moron as he's being portrayed.......but........why don't we all listen to the Ravens' Ray Lewis and then make our judgement (click the third video option):

Hmmm....

More from the Baltimore Sun:

.....None of the Ravens' stands was more dramatic than the last. On first down from the Ravens' 23, the Chargers (1-1) took their shot at the end zone, but Ravens cornerback Frank Walker (who replaced an injured Fabian Washington) broke up the pass to receiver Legedu Naanee.

Three plays later, on fourth-and-2, Lewis said he knew what play was coming as soon as quarterback Philip Rivers dropped the ball down to hand it off. Calling it a risk, he slashed through the middle of the offensive line unblocked and pounced on Sproles to essentially end the game.

Some players acknowledged that they were shocked at the Chargers' play call. San Diego, which had its starting center and right guard out with injuries, decided to run the ball up the middle with the game on the line.

Well allow me to retort: Hmmm.

Just Good Enough To...LOSE

Don't say it....You were about to say, "UNBELIEVABLE!!!". Don't bother!

It's really rather believable.

We learned all we needed after watching the two men calling plays on the sideline tonight. Norv didn't rise to the occasion...Dungy did.

How you could call a timeout before a FG try and possibly leave an additional 30 seconds on the clock for one of the best QBs of our generation who would only have to take it into game winning FG attempt territory is beyond us. We'll take it one step further though....why not go for it on 4th down instead of attempting a FG from a distance that Nate Kaeding has missed on 6 of his previous 9 attempts? Then you have a chance to not only win the game but you ensure that , at best, Peyton Manning won't touch the ball until the overtime session. The answer to that is quite simple really....Norv Turner has no guts....and he never will.

We Call For Norv's Head based solely on a hypothetical though. What would Norv have done in Dungy's position? A 4th and inches scenario with less than a minute to go in a tie game? Norv would have punted. Dungy went for it...WITH A PASS PLAY! Norv Turner would have punted the football away because he's a cautious little pussy.

We've seen outstanding Defensive Adjustments made by DC Ron Rivera, the kind that actually make watching our D palatable. Where are the offensive adjustments? We had 10 points on the board with 5:40 left in the game against a mediocre defense who was missing Bob Sanders, a former Defensive Player of the Year. Norv Turner, Offensive guru? Terrible.

Our Mixed Fruit Plate is Half Full though.....the Broncos suck, with another home loss, this time to the Oakland Raiders. The Donks' schedule, for the remainder, is a rough one too....that alone provides hope! But when you couple it with a defense on the cum there is reason for optimism....we just need an offensive adjustment from the preeminent offensive mind of our generation.....yes we mean Norv....

...like we said... Half Full!