Was last night's game in Denburgh?

I hope when our war party of Avengers attend the Chargers game in Denver on November 22nd we're as cozy as these Steeler fans. Look at how many Steeler fans made it to Mile High.

Denver Post columnist, Woody Paige, had some choice words for Bronco season ticket holders in today's column, Paige: Whose stadium is this anyway?:

The 20,000 season-ticket holders who sold their seats — in every section, on every level — to the Steelers' true loyalists should be ashamed. That wasn't a home game for the Broncos. It was a neutralized site.

With 2 1/2 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, the stadium had been emptied out — of orange pompom party poopers. All who remained were Women & Men In Black waving the Terrible Towels in victory.

Sick effort, Denver. If you don't want your tickets, at least scalp them to people who bleed orange, blue, mustard and brown.

I agree Woodrow! Pathetic display! Firstly, why wouldn't you want to see your 1st place team play against the defending champs? Secondly, this game was as important as they come; the Bolts are on a three game winning streak! Hey Woody, what have the Broncos done while the Bolts have climbed their way back into the AFC West race:

The Broncos are 6-2 at the midway juncture of the season but should have a better-feeling texture, because few outside or, even, inside the locker room believed the Broncos would be so lofty on Nov. 9. But the performances in Baltimore and at home (home?) this month have been more septic tank than antiseptic salve.

The Broncos have been outscored 58-17 and have permitted the Chargers to get back in the race.

Just as alarming, the Broncos have not scored in five of their past eight quarters; they have yet to score a touchdown on their first possession this season (but did burp a field goal after the opening kickoff against Pittsburgh); and the only touchdown scored on Monday night was not by the offense, but on a scoop-and- score fumble return.

One offensive touchdown in two games! That efficient offense managed by Orton has become ineffective and unmanageable. New school has become old-fashioned.

That's right the Chargers are back in the race. Now we just need to turn the city of Denver into Jack Murphy Field at Mile High. Get yourselves to Denver Bolt Backers! Woody, you go film another segment of ESPN's Around the Horn.

Oh, Woody Paige....seriously, have you ever watched this show? Train-wreck-ish.

Voodoo en Viernes on a Sunday Morning: Empower the Chargers and Steelers, damn the rest

The Voodoo has been on tilt so let's switch it up this week.

Rather than hex Brandon Marshall into having another arm-through-the-TV experience, where tendons are severed, arteries are narrowly missed and Denver management is thoroughly pissed let's instead empower his opponent. Let's arm the Pittsburgh Steelers with voodoo.

To this end, Avenging Jack Murphy has joined forces with Steelers Blog, One For The Other Thumb to rally against the Denver Donkeys this Monday Night. AJM took part in the weekly (err...sometimes) segment called Meeting People Is Easy whereby questions, both pertinent and inane related to that week's game, are asked of Steeler fans......and me, representative of the West. In the words of Jim Morrison; "The West is best."

Now don't be myopic on this one! Our enemy's(Broncos) enemy(Steelers) is our friend(Steelers...this week anyway). Also OFTOT is always funny even if it is a Steeler blog, so check it out. Go Steelers(this week)!

Here's a snippet from Meeting People is Easy (click to enlarge):

Representing the West. Click here for the rest of the panelists' answers.

It goes without saying that your Eli Manning Voodoo doll should be disfigured by 12:58 PST.

Go Chargers! Show you belong this week.

Charger Fan In Donkey Land: Week 4 Steelers

Picture courtesy of www.chargers.com

The hype was there as the days' games came to a close and the night game was upon us. Our opportunity to get a win against the Steelers in Pittsburgh was at our fingertips. LT coming back, which one would have assumed would have allowed us more balance between the run and pass on the offensive side of the ball.

Instead we were quickly reminded how banged up we are on the defensive side of the ball.

The Steelers opened things up with pass after pass, moving the ball at pace, down the field. Then right before our eyes, what looked like a broken play on the defensive side, but with the Steeler receiver appearing to only get one foot down, it left me saying, "wow that was close". To my surprise the official ran to the spot and signaled it a completion. I calmly said, "throw the flag....you yellow bellied bastard!"** However, NORV neglected to throw the flag and the play stood. Before I could blink they were in the end zone. Not that a single play on that first drive decided the game, but come on, we are issued a RED flag for reasons such as these. THROW THE DAMN FLAG NORV!

As the offense took the field, the confidence was there that we were going to drive right down the field and tie this game quickly. After all, the Bears and the Bengals didn't have much difficulty doing so. Instead we played as we have all season; a dismal first series to begin the game and gave the ball right back to the opponent. In this case it was the Steelers, who showed us the areas where we were affected by injury. Running up the gut on us would NOT happen should big 76 be in there at nose tackle. Unfortunately for Stephen Cooper, he is not, and we saw time and time again what its like to not have that presence in the middle.

As the game progressed and the deficit grew, I kept hope as I always do that we would turn things around allowing us the opportunity to get the win. Those of you who know me well, know that I carry confidence of a Win from the opening kick off until the last whistle.

We found ourselves far behind, but we never for a moment showed any sign of quit. Instead we began doing what we should have been doing all game long. (Future Note To Norv: Dammit!! We better open it up like that earlier next time so we can put some points on the board before we're dead and buried). Gates was a man out there, and seeing him utilized properly was an encouraging sign. Jackson stepped up as we have come to expect, and there was even a Chambers sighting on Sunday.

We gave them a scare on Sunday Night, but when it really came down to it our defense was not up to the challenge. That is where the concern lies moving forward. Our game plan moving forward must allow for the offense to open things up from the get go and put points on the board. That is a recipe that will reward us some wins, as we must compensate for our lack luster defense this season.

Enjoy the bye week gentlemen (and ladies), and be ready to come back in two weeks when we are more healthy and ready to show the Donkey's that they are overrated and have been nothing but lucky.

It is our opportunity to right things and put the Donkey's and baby Belichick in their rightful place. The losing side of the ball game.

Why would you call him Baby Belichick?

Keep your heads held high and we shall prevail. Out of this bye week we'll return with a sense of purpose as we go on our run to the post season.

BOLT PRIDE!

Charger Fan in Donkey Land

Editor's Note:
**I added the "yellow bellied bastard". Creative license.

Week 4: Chargers, Steelers, and C3PO

Pondering a 38-28 loss to the Steelers.....

Here's all I've got: as it relates to being a fan of San Diego sports teams, I quote a sage from a Galaxy, Far, Far, Away: "It is our lot in life to suffer."

Let's not take anything away from the Pittsburgh Steelers. They're the defending champs, enjoying some home cooking, and by all accounts had their backs against the wall. They should have won. But that game was ridiculous.

I think if we were forced to trade Philip Rivers away for another quarterback, I'd choose Ben Roethlisberger. He's tough and nearly impossible to haul down in the pocket...or any where on the field for that matter. But c'mon. He completed 79% of his passes! Do you know what kind of QB completes nearly 80% of his passes? No..... the answer is not a "Legend". QBs who complete 80% of their passes are PLAYING AGAINST EXTRAORDINARILY SHITTY DEFENSES!!!!!!! The cushion evident after their receiving corp caught Big Ben's passes was ridiculous. Just really porous defense. An embarrassment.

And Rashard Mendenhall......newsflash, Charger D......he's a former number one draft pick who also happens to carry an adjective that no football player ever wants attached to them: soft. Yes. Soft. A "soft" running back carved you up to the tune of 165 yards and 2 TDs. When he wasn't barreling over defenders, he was bouncing off of those who were completely uncommitted to the tackle.

Antonio Cromartie is a complete joke of a football player. I know he had at least three penalties, continued to tackle like a girl, as well as give obscene cushions to every receiver who came his way. I'm sure there's a lot of other crap he did too, like impregnate some baggage handler on the trip into the 'Burgh. I don't know the human but I HATE the football player.

Norv Turner. Sure, professional football players shouldn't need someone to get them fired up to play the game.....and that's a good thing because Norv is incapable of such a task. But a head coach needs to have his team ready to play from the time of the opening kickoff and Norv fails miserably there. Down 14-0 with the snap of a finger? That's four consecutive games, off to a crappy start. Waiting until it was 28-0 to mount a come back? The Chargers, often described as "one of the most talented teams in the league" (we have talented offensive personnel and a defense that gives up 500 yards---pundits, please stop referring to this team as talented and deep and all of that other crap), haven't scored a TD on the opening drive in over 20 straight games. That's on Norval.

So what's the answer for these Chargers?

There is no answer for them, only you. Get used to the disappointment as both a Charger and Padre fan because it will last in perpetuity. As San Diegans we are a cursed lot of fans. Much like the Red Sox carried the burden of an 86 year curse after the unceremonious dumping of a future hall of famer (all for the purpose of funding a Broadway play), so too do we have a cross to bear. Losing is our penance for being able to wear shorts and flip flops in January. This loss is my penance right now.....being able to eff around after the game and still get a decent night's sleep because I view games in Pacific Standard Time. Well rested fans deserve to lose, as no sacrifice has been offered to the Football Gods. Losing is our atonement, fellow San Diegans.....keep it in mind while others are shoveling their driveways in January and you're working on your foot tan.

Editor's Note:
Former Charger Vencie Glenn pulled no punches in his assessment of the Bolt's D during Channel 7's Sunday Night Football In San Diego after the game. Zero sugar coating. I like Vencie. He too appears to want Cromartie's head on a stick.

Christmas Ape of D.C. Steeler Nation Weighs in on Sunday Night's Battle

D.C. Steeler Nation and Kissing Suzy Kolber blogger/author/teller of dick jokes, Christmas Ape, kindly agreed to exchange scouting reports and insights with AJM.

The theme of the exchange was to provide optimism for the opposition---Steelers are 1-2---Chargers never win regular season games in the 'Burgh---optimism is in high demand for each side. For my bit of Bolt pessimism/Steeler optimism, click here. As for the Steeler perspective; let the good feelings commence......

As long as the Chargers are in it going into the 4th quarter, you'll have many a worried Stiller fan being shown during crowd shots at Heinz Field Sunday night.

Pittsburgh has somehow essentially reversed its M.O. from last year. Whereas then they didn't do anything offensively until they absolutely had to - and fortunately did - this year, they're storming hard out of the gate in every game and fizzling down the stretch. Which would be okay if they built up a commanding enough lead, but they've allowed teams to hang around enough that it's come back to bite them in the ass the past two weeks.

Willie Parker would probably be thrilled to see San Diego if he weren't nursing the latest in what has been a series of iffy injuries this season. The guy suddenly revealed that he'd been dealing with a tweaked hammy after doing nothing against the Titans in Week 1, which smacked of an excuse more than anything. The Bolts, after all, were the last team he went over 100 yards against, even if that was last January. So Rashard Mendenhall should probably get a majority of the touches, which isn't the worst thing for the Steelers, because he's actually looked pretty good when he hasn't run into Roethlisberger on hand-offs. He and Mewelde Moore can also actually catch passes out of the backfield and occasional block, so having them out there doesn't telegraph to the defense what they're hoping to do.

For as much criticism as the Steelers O-line gets, it's actually been halfway good in terms of pass blocking. It's when they try running the ball when everything falls apart. Then again, that was the case last year as well, and the team managed against San Diego in the two meetings. So I guess the Steelers have reason to be optimistic in that regard.

Where the Chargers can feel good: hey, remember Santonio Holmes? The guy who broke that punt return TD in the playoffs against you guys and generally had an amazing postseason? Well, he had a great game against the Titans and then suddenly reverted to the mental-lapse prone guy who irritated all the team's fans for a good share of last season. Last week, he didn't recognize a hot read, which resulted in a pick-six for the Bengals. The week before, he dropped four passes, including what would have been a game-winning touchdown. Thankfully, we won't even have to get into Limas Sweed, because he got buried beneath Shaun McDonald on the depth chart.

More good news! The Steelers pass rush has been mostly nonexistent. They haven't registered more than two sacks in any of their games in 2009. This is partly due to the fact that this season, teams are closely following a blueprint that calls for quick timing patterns to offset the pass rush. This won't get you many big plays, but will allow you to peel off some long sustained drives and wear down the Steelers defense late in the game, as the Bears and Bengals have the previous two weeks. Also, the this strategy doesn't lead to many turnovers, evidenced by the fact that the Steelers defense hasn't forced any since the two in the Titans game.

Also, the absence of Polamalu, as you might expect, has made a lot of Dick LeBeau's blitzing schemes very vanilla and easy to recognize. And a quarterback of Rivers caliber should be able to easily take advantage unless the Steelers try some more daring things this week. The Chargers have a definite size advantage with their tall receivers vis-a-vis a corner like William Gay, so I'd imagine Rivers will try to float a few jump balls, which wouldn't be the worst strategy in the world.

The Steelers special teams, other than Jeff Reed's recent transformation into Shaun Suisham, have been a bright spot. They actually have a returner capable of bringing the ball out past the 30. And their punting is much improved by dint of no longer having to call Mitch Berger onto the field on 4th down.

So honestly, I'm not sure what to expect. The past two games have been deflating losses, but they've been on the road to what you could describe as at least respectable teams (okay, Cincy might still be unproven this year, but they beat a solid Green Bay team). The fact that this is a definite must-win game at home gives me faith that the Steelers will lay it all out there, but the Chargers certainly have enough ability to steal another away.

For the contribution and insights, cheers, Ape.

Pick up a copy of Ape's book (aka Mike Tunison) : The Football Fan's Manifesto

I tried to pick it up at Borders back in August but it wasn't in stock so I settled on The Blind Side by Michael Lewis, about Ravens tackle Michael Oher. So what I'm saying is that I don't have it BUT IF YOU ALL buy enough copies maybe he'll send me one, gratis (although it's now highly unlikely with the revelation that I bought a book about a guy who plays for the Baltimore Ravens).

Week 3 Victory: Upon Further Digestion....

Upon further digestion, I've de-deuced that I'm just a giant crybaby. A WIN......IS A WIN! If I continue to watch the Chargers each week and then gripe over how they win games then I'll be as miserable as a Lion fan c. 2008 (or would it be c. 1929-2009?). Are there things I'd like to see the Chargers do better? Sure.

Like anyone else, I'd love to see red zone efficiency. I don't blame the players so much for the inefficiencies but instead look at the FG attempts as a function of the play calling. We often hear how inside the twenty yard line the field becomes shorter and consequently a more difficult area to score. Well I have news for Norv....when you choose to run a 5 foot nothing, 100 pound nothing in to the line on every 1st down, that Red Zone GETS EVEN SMALLER!!!!! Utilize our receivers height. On first down throw a jump ball to one of the giants and get the touchdown via an alley-oop. Jump Ball. Seriously. Run the picket fence at 'em.

The play calling is really my only complaint. We have tons of injuries and guys are stepping up to the challenge. We can't control the injuries and it'll probably be after the bye week before we see LT and Merriman. But we can control the inventiveness and the overall strategy with which we attack. We can control the health of Phillip by having him take shorter drops and hitting the big fellas with shorter passes. Fifty yard bombs are fun but so are underneath routes that allow receivers to accumulate YAC. Those sorts of plays also control the clock because of their high completion percentage. Of course, what the hell do I know?

2-1 and traveling to Steel Town makes me happier than 1-2. Troy Polamalu's absence shows just how important he is to that Steeler defense and so that gives me hope that we can sneak into the bye week above .500.

One last thing.....I wish I had video of a particular play from the first half of the Charger/Phin game. I think Ronnie Brown or Rickie Williams caught a ball coming out of the backfield and proceeded to run across to Antonio Cromartie's side of the field. Cro' sized him up, 'broke down', lunged for the tackle......and absolutely WHIFFED! Cro' caught nothing but air. Luckily, Kevin Burnett was in hot pursuit and caught the Dolphin from behind a split second later. Antonio Cromartie's tackling efforts are akin to the SNL Mother Lover Video........extraordinarily-crap yourself-funny.

Steeler Week

What's Pittsburgh Steeler blog, One For The Other Thumb, saying about this week's game?

Excellent photoshops as always.

Stay classy OFTOT.

For more of Ron Burgundy and friends allow me to recommend, Bitches Love Smiley Faces. A stellar cover song--check it.

NFC and AFC Championship Games

Ed Reed versus Dr. Harry Edwards in the battle for facial hair superiority.

The fact that Ed Reed looks like a a cool Ex-Black Panther/Future Berkley Sociology Professor with his facial awesomeness is not enough for us to choose the Ravens this weekend....

Baltimore Ravens.....Highly Unpalatable.....They're a decade old, already have a Championship and they wear purple...No Dice.

Philadelphia Eagles....Moderately Unpalatable.....They won the World Series last season, their QB doesn't know the OT rules and Cholla is from Philadelphia.

Pittsburgh Steelers....Slightly Unpalatable.....They beat us last week and have won approximately 44% of all Superbowls played...another re-run.....Polamalu is from SC, though.

Arizona Cardinals.....A Slice of Ginger after a Spicy Meal.... Representing the West. Representing God (Kurt Warner). Training camped in our College town where I once rode my Trek through a coaches huddle in front of the School of Business.....a huddle which centered around D-Line Coach, Mean Joe Greene. Zuhlke is a fan. Go Cardinals.

SO.....

We said all week that there would be no football viewing this weekend with the Chargers having been eliminated. Alas, who are we kidding, it's January---when football is best! However we can't be bothered to do an extensive write-up so we will link you to some good stuff we have read this week.

The Legend of Cecilio Guante---A post on the four assassins who man the Centerfield for the final 4. An excellent post with good video footage. We think Berman and the boys stole the story because we saw it this morning on ESPN....Click here.

DCSteeler Nation---Pittsburgh Point of View/Baltimore Raven Hate....Click here.

Deadspin----Will Leitch Answers questions about the team with the fewest fans...Click here.

I got nuthin' on the Eagles. If you care..... go find it....it's out there.

Go Cardinals!

...and so it ends, Chargers 24 -Steelers 35

Probably not the one play we ran during the 3rd quarter

The Chargers kick a FG and position themselves to go into the half with a lead....but then the dreaded "Prevent" defense rears its ugly head and right quick we're down 10-14 going into the half. I don't remember who posited the ol' maxim that, "the Prevent defense, Prevents you from Winning", but boy does it ring true. It would be a harbinger of things to come.

The 3rd quarter began with an old fashioned 8 minute drive which was quickly followed by a big Sproles return and an even bigger tipped Philip Rivers passed, picked off by Larry Foote.

When the 3rd quarter was all said and done we had possessed the ball for :17 seconds....1 play...and 2 turnovers.... and a season slipped away.

Upon reflection it's worth noting that when you have to look at all of these little moments within the contest and you begin to play the "if this, if that game".....it quite simply means that you weren't the better team. The better team won out today.

Forthcoming will be the 2008 Season Obituary...it seems fitting, as I purchased the Headstone for 2008 back in August.

A FINAL NOTE:

When the game was over, the house cleaned up and family and guests gone for the night I walked outside and sat down on the patio. In one arm I held my little Daughter who came into this world during the Chargers' preseason (a baptism by fire) and in my hand a mug, from which I drank the cup of coffee of the year (Blue Mountain Jamaican of which my brother had no business buying for me). The moon slowly crept over the easterly mountains, full, bright, and orange. I hadn't seen a moon look like that since a spring break in Punta Penasco (Rocky Point).

Here I sat, in mid-January, short sleeves, bare feet, outside and watching a killer moon ascend into a crystal clear star filled sky induced by our all too frequent Santa Ana Winds ( they are becoming more frequent, so it seems). I thought, boy am I lucky.

I just spent the whole afternoon with some of my best friends watching a football game. College friends and family....high fiving and cursing...eating, drinking, laughing. Thanks for spending the day with me. While it was not the outcome we wanted I couldn't have asked for better company to suffer through it with me. I thought about this good fortune as that moon appeared from out of no where and realized that it was a sign... a sign of future days and and seasons...a sign of hope. Maybe this was the obituary? Better put that headstone up so they know we were here......

Thanks Big Fella

Chargers versus Steelers: Divisional Round

What to say? I just watched the Charger Power Report and after seeing clips of the #1 Defense in the NFL, the most obvious of questions presents itself: how on earth can we win this game?

The Defensive Player of the Year, James Harrison, moves with such speed and hits with such ferocity that there is legitimate worry that the Steeler D could do all of the scoring on their own and win this game. We'd be remiss if we did not mention the talents of their other stellar defenders such as, James Farrior, Lamar Woodley, Larry Foote, Brett Keisel and the "Man Who Does Everything"--Troy Polamalu. This is the sort of defense that WE ALL want to watch play in January...except when they go against YOUR team! They are the epitome of what Defensive Football is supposed to be....so how do we win? It's quite simple really...

Last week against the Colts we mentioned that a key to the game was winning the turnover battle...we were wrong on that one, as we managed to turn the ball over more yet somehow pull out a win. That won't be the case today. It's a guaranteed loss if we turn the ball over in the Red Zone and don't convert points. It's a guaranteed loss if we turn over in our territory and give the Steelers a short field to work on....Here are the keys.

1. Control the Ball. There must be a commitment to the run and commitment to a short efficient passing game. Control the ball and minimize risk. PR should NEVER be hopping around in the pocket looking down field....it spells fumble/tipped pass/INT.
2. Our defense is not the same as it was back in early November. Perhaps the most important key to the game. Get after Ben...scramble his brains. Stop the RUN. Steeler football in January is predicated on the running game. If you want to be Champions start by stopping the run. We may very well need a Defensive TD in this game...
   
3. Special Teams. It's asking a lot but we need a repeat from Mike Scifers. We'll be punting A LOT today. If we can make Pitt use a long field all day it bodes well for us. Conversely, our Punt/Kick return teams must give us a short field to work with. Scoring points will be at a premium in cold, wet, windy, sloppy conditions. We may very well need a Special Team score to win this game.

Simple and we have history on our side, undefeated during the Playoffs in the 'burgh. Now the above requests (Defensive/Special Teams TDs) are akin to a Serial Killer asking for early parole: extremely unrealistic! We had to ask though when we tried to consider how many points our O will score against the #1 ranked Defense, on the road, and in extraordinarily crappy conditions. Our consideration led us to a max. of 13 points and that doesn't seem like enough... an ST/D TD gets us to 20 which should be enough (or the game could go Carolina/Arizona style from last night...which of course we'd love). We could very well see another 11-10 game.

What do we have to hang our hats on in lieu of Special Teams/Defensive TDs? Intangibles...

Intangibles such as camaraderie, forged through the difficult blast furnace that was the 2008 regular season and of course the most notable of all intangibles....

Troy Baldamalu

Enough of the Messianic figure roaming the secondary, disrupting and raining down hellfire on mere mortals.

We have taken his beard. We have taken his hair. All that remains is a shell of a smiley Samoan. Man's chances have improved...

Providence visits not in the form of long haired bearded prophets but from the heavens itself...bolts of lightening!




Chargers 20 Steelers 17...



~Blue Ballzed...again

The Upcoming Week In Voodoo...

Which direction will the Pittsburgh Steelers take us this week? Better know yo history...

Denver Donkey Voodoo Snowman
Week 16: Needing a Charger win in Tampa and a Bronco loss at Mile High against the Bills
Voodoo Snowman / Ghost of Jake Plummer delivers a smashed face to Jeff Garcia via Quentin Jammer, then helps Broncos choke, in thin mountain air. Later melts into CA. sunset...

Denver Donkey Voodoo Doll: Jay Chokler/Lil' Hillbilly Edition
Week 17: With AFC West Championship on the line versus the Broncos, The Little Hillbilly is rattled early and often...two picks w/ one coming in the end zone. Work of art, however extremely dangerous with pins poking every which way. No Children Harmed.

Manning de Milo Voodoo Doll
Week 18: Wild card round of the playoffs, 2008 MVP picks up healthy chunk of yardage but has little to show for it in the way of points. Takes only sack of game at most crucial time, resulting in another 1st round Colt exit. De Milo knock off retired to Canton, OH.

Pittsburgh Steeler Edition
Week 19:.......oh what we have planned...

Remember our credo during this 2008/2009 playoff installation...

DO NOT FUCK WITH WINNING COMBINATIONS, PEOPLE