Me Not Here.....Using Eastern Philosopy to Win the War of Attrition (part II)

The highly anticipated conclusion to Using Eastern Philosophy to Win the War of Attrition is now up at 619 Sports.net (Click Here). It has been cleverly titled part II. Click the link to attain enlightenment.

This is a must read for those who want to know how the Chargers can improve upon the conditional draft pick they received from the Jets in the Cromartie trade earlier this year.

Me Not Here......Using Eastern Philosophy to Win the War of Attrition (part I)

My every-once-in-a-while contribution over at 619 Sports.net sees me exploring the art of stock piling talent in the NFL. In a two part series I look to see how Antonio Cromartie can have a strong year so the Chargers move from a 3rd round pick up to a 2nd... Bruce Lee is also involved. Go read and listen at 619 Sports.net.

I guess it's what you would expect him to say...

A Jets fan's query:

Antonio Cromartie's response:

I guess it's a matter of what the "passion" pertains to....

Cromartie on the block; eastern philosophy needed

From Kevin Acee's Wednesday UT article, Chargers still seek deal for Cromartie:

Cromartie had 10 interceptions in 2007 but has just five in the two seasons since, and his lack of physicality and a perceived laissez faire attitude has worn on teammates and coaches.

The team is ready to move on from its 2006 first-round draft pick, and Cromartie has told people close to him he would like to be traded.

Perceived laissez faire attitude?

Laissez faire most accurately refers to Thomas Jefferson's thoughts on government interaction with the masses...... not how big of a "Gaping V" Antonio Cromartie plays like. "Perceived" implies that he might actually be on top of things. That he might actually care to win. There is no issue of perception here.

Whether Cromartie is dealt, released, or plays out his contract, the young man needs help. He has financial commitments to an ever growing family and the only way to fulfill these obligations is to perform and then get rewarded with a multi-year contract.

Luckily for Antonio Cromartie, I am currently researching a way for him to emerge from his self created abyss. This research has led me to delve into eastern philosophies and tradition in an effort to restore the shining star of 2007. The research is nearly complete and I believe that if the methodology can be relayed to young Cro' we may be able to avert losing him at all. This intervention may lead to a renewal for our 25 year old quarterback.

Stay tuned, faithful eleven.

Editor's Note:
I also find it laughable that HE WANTS to be traded. If he was playing on the east coast he'd be crucified by the media.... far worse than he gets it here in San Diego. Is it so tough playing for a team that is but a few steps from the Super Bowl? Is it the wrath of Vencie Glenn, Avenging Jack Murphy, and the whole of San Diego that has you lacing up your track spikes?

Run, Cro'. Run.

It's what you do best.

Making Week 17 More Interesting: The Antonio Cromartie Drinking Game

This is a great Redskins logo photoshop. I did not create it as I do not have the capacity for such greatness. Instead it was lifted from another blog (probably Kissing Suzy Kolber) and inserted this week for the Sunday Showdown with Snyder's bed-Shitting 'Skins. Who says football can't be literary? On to today's meaning-less/full game.

I think the Colts erred in shutting it down last week. Because they are regular season world beaters they do the same thing every year........rest personnel for the playoffs. But where does that strategy get Peyton's bunch each season? That's right.......the opportunity to get out of Indiana early and work on their tans......although this is something Peyton generally fails to take advantage of each January. So what am I saying?

At least let the starters get a half in........and then shut it down like the Colts. The Bolts' offense is clicking on all cylinders but faces a mandatory one week vacation due to AWESOMENESS so it would behoove the Chargers to get a little rhythm going this weekend against the Redskins. Keep the body clock as closely approximated to game day as possible.

Who should be shut down entirely? Anyone who has been battling INJURY. Everyone in the league is hurt at this point in the season but it makes sense to utilize the bye, by giving the Merrimans, Phillips, Weddles, and Jacksons of the world extra time to heal. Get everyone else out at the half.

NORV adding EXCITEMENT:
The rumor has it, that Norv will activate and give extensive playing time to WR Craig Davis. Who DAT? Well, we all know the WR out of LSU as 2007 first round draft pick (bust), Bust-er Davis. Hooray!!!!!! I'm very excited......so excited that I figured out a way to make the game even more entertaining......

yes it is I......Antonio Cromartie.....getting beat once again

AVENGING JACK MURPHY adding EXCITEMENT:
Tell Antonio Cromartie that he has to play man coverage all day long. No Zones. No soft ten yard cushions allowing the opposition's wide receivers to operate.....NONE of that crap!

In your face man 2 man coverage!!!! Full utilization of the five yard chuck rule.

Fans can turn it into a drinking game: take a drink every time Cromartie actually touches someone on the field. Ordinarily such a rule would keep a person sober throughout game day but today it will be different!!!!! The Chargers' higher-ups should offer child support bonuses to Cro' for each bit of contact he initiates on the field today..........I know..........I'm a dick for suggesting it!

Don't worry, Cro' is under contract so there won't be any bonuses awarded for something a guy is supposed to do by his own volition........and you don't have to worry about staying sober because Cro's jersey didn't have a grass stain on it. Drink up friends!!! Make your own game!

HOW it SHAKES out:
I fully believed that the Chargers had an excellent chance at beating the Patriots in the AFCCG in 2007-2008 with an injured Tomlinson, Gates, and Rivers. So if I thought that Billy Volek could have started that game and kept us in it I'd be a fool not to think he could defeat a Jim Zorn led team.
Chargers 24
Redskins 17

Mike Tolbert goes bat shit crazy today!!!

EDITOR'S NOTE 11:41 AM:
New England Patriots' WR, Wes Welker, just blew out his knee in an essentially "meaningless" game against the Houston Texans. Due to this breaking news I recommend that the Chargers forfeit today's game.......well they can just send Cromartie out there so we can try the Antonio Cromartie Drinking Game.

Vencie Says: Philip Rivers Crushes, Playoffs and the Abomination of Cromartie

Stellar show this last Sunday following the destruction of the Titans on Christmas Night. What did Vencie Glenn, et. al. have to say? Let us proceed...
On Philip Rivers:

"He has become the Michael Jordan of this football team. He carries this football team, and he has done an excellent job of taking over this team, putting it on his shoulders.....and they ride on Philip Rivers."

I too have a man crush on Philip Rivers. On account of the love that Vencie Glenn expresses each week towards #17, I do not feel like less of a man for it. Thank you Vencie.

On Resting Players Against The 'Skins:

"I just like everybody playing. I don't have a problem taking out your starters, maybe the second quarter, something, just to give them a little freshness, keep them sharp, but sitting out the whole game? I don't believe in that."

Agreed. Get the guys two quarters to keep game sharpness, timing, and most importantly, the Sunday body clock in tune. Rest guys who have been battling injuries (i.e. Shawne Merriman).

On Fearing Particular Teams In The Playoffs:

"You've got to be cautious of EVERYBODY once the playoffs start"

I agree with this assessment but 'to be the best' you 'have to beat the best'. However, I am weary of the Steelers because they seem to have our number the last couple of years so I'd prefer to not see their elimination from playoff contention. Other than that, bring on the Pats in the Divisional round and the Colts in the AFCCG. That would be the test of all tests.

On Which Player Has Been The Biggest Surprise:

"Philip Rivers is the guy that I think is the most improved. I just think his decision making, the way he spreads the ball, how he's taken control of this offense, and his accuracy is just amazing as a defensive man (speaking of himself)."

I can't say I'm entirely surprised by Philip Rivers as it has been demonstrated week in and week out that he has been anointed as God's quarterback. So no surprise there. I would go with the defensive line play and Brandon Dombrowski on the O-line. I was tearing them apart during week 8 but they've gelled over the past two months. Me likes their improvement and find myself surprised weekly.

What Is The Deal With Cromartie?

At this point there was hysterical laughter by the panel as they knew it was a topic Vencie would relish the opportunity to opine. SI's Jim Trotter even suggested that it was not a viewer question, but instead, a question planted by Vencie Glenn. Here is the direct text of the viewer e-mail question followed by Vencie's response:

"I've been sayin' this all year. I'm glad some people people watch film the way I watch it. It's a shame that one guy out out of Ten (11?) just does not want to be physical. THIS is the National Football League. You sign up for contact. He does not EVEN want to touch anybody. I just can't believe the defensive coordinator just let's him get away with it."

Jim Trotter expressed his opinion on Cromartie more diplomatically by essentially saying that Cro' is what he is and you can't make him something he's not, this probably being the best way to assess Cromartie. We'll never get a guy who plays a physical brand of football because it's not part of his own self image. Cro' views himself as Deion Sanders not as a Quentin Jammer or Pat Fischer. My personal opinion on the way Cromartie plays: a complete embarrassment for someone who calls himself a professional football player. Unfortunately there are many others just like him.

I felt the need to add in some additional Jim Trotter commentary because his analysis is sound and he's also good at intelligently 'taking the piss' out of somebody.....in this case Josh McDaniels and the Denver Broncos.

Jim Trotter On Josh McDaniels:

"I think it's a guy who came in, and in my opinion, thought he had all the answers early when they started 6-0, and now he's finding out that the NFL is a lot tougher than that....and we'll see you next year Josh."

This was better live because JT was really punking McDaniels when he said "...and we'll see you next year Josh." It was pretty funny....and I laughed.

Jim Trotter On The Broncos' Playoff Hopes:

"Don't you feel bad for Denver? 6-0. Now they're probably out of the playoffs. Geez, I feel terrible for 'em"

Once again video does more justice as JT rolled his eyes when talking about feeling bad for the Broncos.

Until next week's edition of Sunday Night Football in San Diego, 'Vencie Says', bids you farewell.

Always remember: Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor Does Avenging Jack Murphy.

Vencie Says: 'The Man' keeps it short this week because he has Gravitas!

Vencie: "I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"

This edition of Vencie Says, is late, to say the least. I'm still basking in a solid road victory against Dallas and I'm sure Vencie is as well......he didn't eviscerate anyone on Sunday Night Football in San Diego and that is a sure sign of Charger progress.

Because of the overflow of positivity, just the one quote this week----and it is a telling one when you consider how hard nose of a player, Vencie Glenn was during his day. Vencie was set up by Jim Laslavic with the following question:

Laz:"Final thoughts as the Chargers get ready to play the Bengals. Who would've thought that this would be such a big game...."

Vencie: "I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"
(so good--you get it twice)
Through the first fourteen weeks of the season, two constants have drawn the ire of Vencie Glenn:

1. Norv Turner. Both his leadership and play calling were under fire.
   
2. Defense. Weather it was the soft play of Antonio Cromartie or the overall lack of accountability by the defense to man up, make a stop, and get off the field, Vencie Glenn routinely destroyed the unit.

Well, Norv has started calling a much more dynamic game during the last eight weeks and the result has been a Charger team playing with a lead. This effect has been profound. The Defense now knows that it can bend and if it keeps from breaking it will be trading opposition FGs for Charger TDs. The defense bends but gets stout in the red zone. This stinginess has been personified by goal line stands against the vaunted Giants, Eagles, and Cowboys of the NFC East. In all three match ups the Chargers have either held on 4th down or forced the opposition to kick a FG so it is the defense which should be given credit for playing tough D and contributing mightily to the current 8 game win streak. It isn't always pretty.......but they're getting the job done.

It should also be noted that Antonio Cromartie is playing a nice corner these days. Well hell.....we even saw the young fella playing press coverage at the line and getting his hands all over Roy Williams last Sunday. Keep up the solid coverage and mix in a few tackles and we might send you a Christmas card, Cro'. Good on ya.

So it is with that one quote that we bring this segment to an end. Part of the reason that this website sponsors former Charger Vencie Glenn is because he says the things we are thinking with a few crucial differences: the man has GRAVITAS!

• He's an old school defender// HEED HIS VOICE!
  
• He has a forum that allows his critical voice to be heard en mass.
  
• Now you now why we 'heart' Vencie Glenn and why we'll ask you to look at his comment again:

"I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"

Vencie Says: On the heels of a big win in NYC Vencie Glenn discusses Antonio Cromartie and tackling

There is no better way to end the week than for Sunday Night Football to conclude and Football Night in San Diego to begin.

NBC's channel seven brings us analysis with a critical eye via former Chargers/NFLers and journalists. This week's episode saw host Jim Laslavic team with Vencie Glenn, JR Tolver, and Jim Trotter to break down the Chargers victory over the Giants.

My favorite part of the segment is when former Charger Safety, Vencie Glenn, lays into Antonio Cromartie for being a girly defender. What did Avenging Jack Murphy's Patron Saint, Vencie Glenn, have to say about our athletic cover corner? Enjoy......

"For whatever reason, he is so afraid of getting hurt"

"This guy's gonna get somebody else hurt and he's gonna cost them a big play when they really need it"

"He just don't want to tackle, it's sad in the NFL that you don't want to tackle and be accountable....but that's who he is."

"He couldn't play for me as a Defensive Coordiator....unless he started tackling. I'm gonna be straight honest... as a defensive player it's almost embarrassing to watch a guy run around out there and avoid contact like he does...and I'm not ever going to change that."

Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor does Avenging Jack Murphy

Week 4: Chargers, Steelers, and C3PO

Pondering a 38-28 loss to the Steelers.....

Here's all I've got: as it relates to being a fan of San Diego sports teams, I quote a sage from a Galaxy, Far, Far, Away: "It is our lot in life to suffer."

Let's not take anything away from the Pittsburgh Steelers. They're the defending champs, enjoying some home cooking, and by all accounts had their backs against the wall. They should have won. But that game was ridiculous.

I think if we were forced to trade Philip Rivers away for another quarterback, I'd choose Ben Roethlisberger. He's tough and nearly impossible to haul down in the pocket...or any where on the field for that matter. But c'mon. He completed 79% of his passes! Do you know what kind of QB completes nearly 80% of his passes? No..... the answer is not a "Legend". QBs who complete 80% of their passes are PLAYING AGAINST EXTRAORDINARILY SHITTY DEFENSES!!!!!!! The cushion evident after their receiving corp caught Big Ben's passes was ridiculous. Just really porous defense. An embarrassment.

And Rashard Mendenhall......newsflash, Charger D......he's a former number one draft pick who also happens to carry an adjective that no football player ever wants attached to them: soft. Yes. Soft. A "soft" running back carved you up to the tune of 165 yards and 2 TDs. When he wasn't barreling over defenders, he was bouncing off of those who were completely uncommitted to the tackle.

Antonio Cromartie is a complete joke of a football player. I know he had at least three penalties, continued to tackle like a girl, as well as give obscene cushions to every receiver who came his way. I'm sure there's a lot of other crap he did too, like impregnate some baggage handler on the trip into the 'Burgh. I don't know the human but I HATE the football player.

Norv Turner. Sure, professional football players shouldn't need someone to get them fired up to play the game.....and that's a good thing because Norv is incapable of such a task. But a head coach needs to have his team ready to play from the time of the opening kickoff and Norv fails miserably there. Down 14-0 with the snap of a finger? That's four consecutive games, off to a crappy start. Waiting until it was 28-0 to mount a come back? The Chargers, often described as "one of the most talented teams in the league" (we have talented offensive personnel and a defense that gives up 500 yards---pundits, please stop referring to this team as talented and deep and all of that other crap), haven't scored a TD on the opening drive in over 20 straight games. That's on Norval.

So what's the answer for these Chargers?

There is no answer for them, only you. Get used to the disappointment as both a Charger and Padre fan because it will last in perpetuity. As San Diegans we are a cursed lot of fans. Much like the Red Sox carried the burden of an 86 year curse after the unceremonious dumping of a future hall of famer (all for the purpose of funding a Broadway play), so too do we have a cross to bear. Losing is our penance for being able to wear shorts and flip flops in January. This loss is my penance right now.....being able to eff around after the game and still get a decent night's sleep because I view games in Pacific Standard Time. Well rested fans deserve to lose, as no sacrifice has been offered to the Football Gods. Losing is our atonement, fellow San Diegans.....keep it in mind while others are shoveling their driveways in January and you're working on your foot tan.

Editor's Note:
Former Charger Vencie Glenn pulled no punches in his assessment of the Bolt's D during Channel 7's Sunday Night Football In San Diego after the game. Zero sugar coating. I like Vencie. He too appears to want Cromartie's head on a stick.

Week 3 Victory: Upon Further Digestion....

Upon further digestion, I've de-deuced that I'm just a giant crybaby. A WIN......IS A WIN! If I continue to watch the Chargers each week and then gripe over how they win games then I'll be as miserable as a Lion fan c. 2008 (or would it be c. 1929-2009?). Are there things I'd like to see the Chargers do better? Sure.

Like anyone else, I'd love to see red zone efficiency. I don't blame the players so much for the inefficiencies but instead look at the FG attempts as a function of the play calling. We often hear how inside the twenty yard line the field becomes shorter and consequently a more difficult area to score. Well I have news for Norv....when you choose to run a 5 foot nothing, 100 pound nothing in to the line on every 1st down, that Red Zone GETS EVEN SMALLER!!!!! Utilize our receivers height. On first down throw a jump ball to one of the giants and get the touchdown via an alley-oop. Jump Ball. Seriously. Run the picket fence at 'em.

The play calling is really my only complaint. We have tons of injuries and guys are stepping up to the challenge. We can't control the injuries and it'll probably be after the bye week before we see LT and Merriman. But we can control the inventiveness and the overall strategy with which we attack. We can control the health of Phillip by having him take shorter drops and hitting the big fellas with shorter passes. Fifty yard bombs are fun but so are underneath routes that allow receivers to accumulate YAC. Those sorts of plays also control the clock because of their high completion percentage. Of course, what the hell do I know?

2-1 and traveling to Steel Town makes me happier than 1-2. Troy Polamalu's absence shows just how important he is to that Steeler defense and so that gives me hope that we can sneak into the bye week above .500.

One last thing.....I wish I had video of a particular play from the first half of the Charger/Phin game. I think Ronnie Brown or Rickie Williams caught a ball coming out of the backfield and proceeded to run across to Antonio Cromartie's side of the field. Cro' sized him up, 'broke down', lunged for the tackle......and absolutely WHIFFED! Cro' caught nothing but air. Luckily, Kevin Burnett was in hot pursuit and caught the Dolphin from behind a split second later. Antonio Cromartie's tackling efforts are akin to the SNL Mother Lover Video........extraordinarily-crap yourself-funny.

Antonio Cromartie, The Constitution, and the incessant need of professional athletes to Twitter like 13 year old girls

After letting Twitter-gate roll around my mind for the last week (see: I am a complete laggard) I decided to play a little game called Cromartie's Constitutional Convention Connection. After all, it was Antonio Cromartie who claimed to have had his 1st Amendment rights violated when the Chargers fined him for Tweeting inane Tweets about camp food and Super Bowl draughts ..... free speech in America and all. I'll spare you the Norv Turner and Thomas Jefferson ,"Awkward Genius", comparisons and delve right into that stifling Philadelphia summer of 1787.

Back in 1787 a bunch of fellas got together in the City of Brotherly Love to make some profound fixes to the existing governing document of the United States. Pure crap, those Articles of Confederation. Very little power had been given to Congress and the lack of enforceable action by this political body was comical. Additionally, the infant nation lacked an entity such as an Executive Branch that could not only check the authority of Congress but could provide much needed leadership---imagine an NFL without the stewardship of the heavy handed Roger Goodell ---rampaging athletes without limits to be sure . So during a sweltering summer these fellas hashed out their differences, made a slew of compromises and prepared the country for a new course.

There was a problem though, with this new governing document. There were Federalists who wanted a much stronger role for the central government and then there were the Anti-Federalists who desired.....wait for it..... the opposite. Anti-Federalists clamored for certain rights to be written down, set in stone for all to acknowledge as unalienable. Federalists thought this was silly, "The rights were implied!", they proclaimed. This Federalist faction also noted that if the Convention were to write down specific rights to be protected they would invariably miss a few that were unforeseen (see abortion rights and Tweeting about your Government)......then could these unlisted rights be freely violated by their Government?

The Anti Federalists led by Thomas Jefferson tasked one of the top intellects of the day, James Madison to create a Bill of Rights for this new Constitution. Madison was smart so he just created an amendment (9th) that would encompass all things not written down explicitly into the document of 1787: If it ain't written down it's reserved for the people. People usually forget that one.....but they don't forget the 1st Amendment. The 1st covers a good many freedoms the most important of which is our Freedom of Speech, and that's why we're here Bolt Fans......

Chargers: Training Camp: Constitutional Law

Was Antonio Cromartie's Freedom of Speech violated when the Charger's brass fined him and admonished him not to be a twit while Tweeting?

Cromartie says yes. A few who write the stories concur. What about the fans? I've heard far too many scream, "This is Un-American!". Let's look at the text of the grand old document, shall we?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I went ahead and highlighted the important parts for Antonio Cromartie and all else who think that he has been wronged.

Our Freedom of Speech has nothing to do with Tweeting whatever you want. Nor does it have anything to do with being able to voice our unique selves to the world. It only says that Congress (GOVERNMENT) can't silence your voice (with a few exceptions). So Cro' can tweet all he wants about how the Federal Government is raping his monthly NFL paychecks and he can do it all without reprisals from The Man (and by "The Man" I mean Obama not Goodell as big Rodge would likely call him into the office for the ingratitude). But the 1st Amendment doesn't protect his speech when it goes against the wishes of his employer and so he is subject to being censured.

The spirit of the 1st amendment is to prevent your government from stifling your voice--
a voice which, in its active state, is the life-blood of a democracy.
Twittering about your employer's cafeteria
escapes the purview of this protection.

I was always free to tell my parents that I'm old enough to do what I want and they were free to revoke my privileges to the family car. Just like Cro' is free to Tweet what he wants and the Chargers are free to terminate him--or in this case, to fine him and tell him to shut it.

The Constitution and the misinterpretation of our governing document aside there are two bigger issues at hand for the Chargers in their 5oth Anniversary year: The content of Tweets and Twittering itself.

I'll begin with Antonio Cromartie's Tweet:

crimetime31: Man we have 2 have the most nasty food of any team. Damn can we upgrade 4 str8 years the same ish maybe that's y we can't we the SB we need

Indeed, Cromartie accurately assessed San Diego's Super Bowl deprivation by blaming it on the organization's choice of caterers...... but such is the curse of Twitter and its debilitating limitation of 140 characters. The completion of AC's Tweet, space permitting, was:

crimetime31:your star CB sh*t the bed when he came up 13 interceptions short of breaking the rec, I had the nerve to boast bout breakin over the prev. sum. Sorry SD fans. (dammit! that was over 140 characters too!)

Think stupid things but don't say or Tweet them. Tweet in cliches Cro' (go watch Bull Durham and listen to Crash Davis and Nuke LaLoosh discuss the topic). You don't need the spot light on you after last season. Be quiet and workman like.

The act of Twittering itself by our young defensive superstars was best articulated by a reader, screen-named Boltsfanatic, at the Union Tribune:

As a lifelong Charger fan it doesn't make me less embarrassed about the idiocy that Cromartie is able to misspell or hide the fact that Merriman uses Twitter like a 13 year old girl in a chat room with the Jonas Brothers. I like it when football players are allowed to show personality, but the Chargers have too many classy players to be overshadowed by idiots who self promote on Twitter.

Well said Boltsfanatic. I followed Crimetime31 for approximately 4 minutes until I realized that he too Twitters like a 13 year old girl in a chat room with the Jonas Brothers. I quickly dropped him like Cro's 2008 interception totals. Uphold the integrity of the organization as well as yourselves and keep your eyes on the prize, fellas.

A focused Antonio Cromartie and Shawne Merriman are the only way that Vince's Hardware will find its way to San Diego. Bolts in 2009-20010.

The trophy that would bear his name

Editor's Note:
Do not dispute the analysis found here. I drink beer and watch the Chargers on Sundays. On the other six days of the week I am a Constitutional Law expert (I say this with the full understanding that the term "expert" is subjective and bandied about quite freely these days.....just look at Matt Millen and his ability to get an analyst's job at ESPN).