Me Not Here.... RJ's Fro and AJM Spend an August Evening in LAtrine

I'm a complete whore. I contribute everywhere but here it would appear. Who cares!

Three weeks ago I went to see the Padres play in Chavez Ravine with fellow fans, Rick, Beau, and Marshall of RJ's Fro. It was enchanting.

For a detailed experience of baseball, beer, and raging debate regarding Willie McGee's special place in the game..... (Click here)

Dick Enberg Analysis: How 'bout a little bias, Dick!?!

On Friday night there were some Dick Enberg complaints on Twitter regarding his bias........or lack thereof, to be more exact. The prevailing sentiment was that Enberg gets WAY too excited about play by the opposition and not enough for the Padres. Sure Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier are good. But in giving them praise is it necessary to fawn over them?

Por Ejemplo: 

Casey Blake was chasing a foul pop-up in Friday's 4-3 loss, one that ultimately fell into the stands. As Blake ran out of room he slid to avoid an unnecessary trip into the bleachers. Enberg proceeded to make it sound like Blake had made a play tantamount to the Mays over the shoulder World Series grab combined with an Aaron Rowand face first in to the wall catch......it was neither of those. There was nothing special about Casey Blake's effort especially for a guy who's making $6.25 million/season. Enberg's unctuous praise of Blake led me to Tweet the following:

HaHa. I AM FUNNY.......but that is besides the point! (click "Read More" to continue)


C'mon Dick! If a guy makes a nice play give him a pat on the back. If he's a once in a lifetime talent then share that assessment with your audience. Use your knowledge and experience in the game to make an apropos comparison to a great player of the past. But don't swoon over the guy's play. You are an announcer for the San Diego Padres.....recognize where your bread is buttered!

Which Brings Us To The "Why?"

Websoulsurfer made a good point in one of his Tweets:

Hammer.....meet head of nail. 

Dick Enberg, as a national announcer, must be effusive in his praise of both sides which has made him a very respected announcer over the years. I'd be remiss however, if I did not point out that this is San Diego........not the Nation. Come July, when you're at Wimbledon, feel free to massage the followers/lovers of both Kim Clijsters and Venus Wiliams while they battle and grunt their way to Center Court supremacy........but right now........I am NOT in the mood for MY announcer to be  LOVING the Dodgers.

In Addition
Save the "Touch 'em All!" calls for Padre homers. The call has an inherent excitement to it that should not be shared with the opposition......remember......it's our guy who gave up the dong.

On A Good Note

In last night's loss to LAtrine (4-1) the Channel 4 camera zoomed in  from deep center field and as the shot came closer and closer to the Channel 4 booth someone began to wave their arms. I could not tell who it was. Enberg then quipped (paraphrasing), "Don't do that. I hate the wave!"

As do I, Mr Enberg. As do I.

Props for the use of an orange tie with a white suit. There aren't too many people who can pull that off with such great success.

From Bennifer to Mannywood

I took time out to think yesterday.

Yes. Between strategy sessions for boosting Jessica Alba's Thighnal Four possibilities I began to think about something other than the Memphis Tigers-like thrashing Ms. Alba was being served in the 2009 Hot Ladies Tournament. Let us be candid....while the hot ladies are good sport we needed something with, I don't know, a little more balls....

Like a spider monkey cavorting down the avenues of my mind came the following: Bennifer-Brangelina- TomKat -BenJen-Billary......oh please stop, mind..... the dreaded celebrity super-couple uni-name. I curse that Masshole Ben Affleck and J-Lo for ever opening the door to overexposed combo names..... but the real question is why on Earth would that inane topic be blighting my mind?

Which brings us full circle to sports and the current union of names: Manny Ramirez and Hollywood went forth, fornicated and left us with the dirty afterbirth known as: Mannywood.

I thought of the idiocy of this combo-name in great detail yesterday: great detail constituted 1 minute and 29 seconds where my thought's exclamation point was a resounding, "Fuck'n' Hell!". Does everything need to be reduced to a cute little name? Apparently so. Such a creative lot are we. But what I didn't realize was that the cutsie name was actually a LAtrine promotion. When did I find this out? Well today of course.....

Manny Ramirez was suspended for a whopping 50 games for steroids! Another fraud exposed.

I don't think Manny could get wood.....hence the female fertility drug.... ahhh, the side effects of steroids.

According to ESPN 800 Mannywood is the left field section where Jag-offs can purchase an overpriced ticket ($99--clever) and a Manny T-shirt. What to do Los Angeles, now that your Pajama wearing LF is on the rack trying to get his testicles to return to normal without using a banned female fertility drug? The Los Angeles Times reported and we copied and pasted:

Ramirez tested positive during spring training for "a banned performance-enhancing substance that is not technically an anabolic steroid," according to a source not authorized to speak publicly about the issue.

The substance, identified by the source as human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), could legitimately be prescribed for a man who does not naturally produce enough testosterone, according to a high-ranking sports doping authority. But HCG often is used as an antidote to diminished testosterone levels at the end of a cycle of steroid treatments, said BALCO founder and convicted steroid dealer Victor Conte.

HCG is one of dozens of substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy. Players can call a hotline to check on the legality of any substances, and they can obtain a therapeutic use exemption for any legitimate medical use of a banned substance.

"This is failing more than a drug test," Conte said. "This is failing an IQ test.

Well....my friend Boston (from Boston) always said, "Manny's a fucking moron!". That was even when the Sox were winning a 2007 World Series.

The truly sad part of this entire ordeal is not that one more hero of our generation* has fallen, disgracing himself and our National Pastime but that, absent Manny Ramirez, the Padres STILL don't have a chance at the division!!

What's up with Edwin Moreno? That guy was clearly decomposing at the bottom of the dumpster that Kevin Towers found him in.

*The greatest right handed hitter in the game....it's not quite Pujols yet....very close though.....did you know that Albert Pujols carries a Louis Vitton man purse? Saw it with my own two eyes as he walked through the Gaslamp in 2006. Es La Verdad.)