Mailbag: Bolt Agony Sounds Off

Each week I'm inundated with emails. They're mostly related to winning a lottery in the United Kingdom *, my newest follower on Twitter**, or advertising for erectile dysfunction*** . Every once in a while though, I get an email related to the Chargers and because I value the opinions of the masses****, I'm generally inclined to post the email, in this especially creative little segment we call: Mailbag.

This individual goes by the moniker, Bolt Agony.......uh-oh, can't be good.

Men,

I hardly weigh in on these topics, but as my students work on their projects I have a minute....or
two.  First, the Chargers are no surprise to me. We are paying for our sins as San Diego fans
because we live in such a nice place.....we cannot have a contender! It wouldn't be fair to
the homophobes that live in Mass., shoveling snow and spewing slurs at people. They're the
same each year; under performing. But they play in a weak division, and will easily make
the playoffs; yeah I said it.....the Broncos will implode starting this weekend, and the Chargers
will beat them at least once if not both times.


What is the problem with the Chargers? One Name......AJ SMITH.  I would go with the
owner, but that is not a change that will be made, so the root of the problem starts with Mr.
"It is what it is".  He's a control freak, but does not take responsibility for his control.  Our
defense is too small and he blames the players.  Please Mr. Smith go out and trade some draft
picks for some D-Linemen NOW!. Bobby Beatherd may have mortgaged the future, but our draft
picks do not pan out often (BUSTer Davis).  So Follow the Raiders' lead (I can't believe I just
typed that) and go get a quality D-Linemen or three.   Also choose a better head coach....Norv is
a pussy! Stop thinking he will change or be someone else because he won't. He is who he is!
For all I care make Ron Rivera the head coach; at least he knows what it takes to be a player,
coach, and Super Bowl Champion.....and can tear his players a new one.

AJ please keep your comments about the team being soft to yourself or in the locker-room.  I
don't blame #56 for talking back to you, he is trying, but he is hurt....shouldn't be playing, and is
frustrated with jokers like Cromartie, Castillo, Gregory, Phillips, and the ten other so called
D-Lineman playing.  He won't be here next year and neither will LT (I don't care what anyone
says, he's still good but is trying to run through NO hole....no back would produce more with
that O-Line) Gates is the big question mark....will he be here next year?  He is turning it on now,
and if he keeps playing this way I would say keep him.

Our only hope is the man himself, P. Rivers.  

Regretfully Yours,

BOLT AGONY

P.S.  Marcus McNiell and Luis Castillo; please go to Mexico and get back on the juice,
you SUCK!

*Ridiculous amounts of Pounds Sterling. Cool.

**The Real Mike Tyson is now following me. Is "The Real Mike Tyson" the real "The Real 
Mike Tyson"? Either way it's fucking cool!

***It's cool....I'm cool.

****And I'm a content whore.

Viewpoint Out Of Donkey Land

As I sit here after an eventful day of rug-rats running around celebrating my son's birthday, and the snow begins to fall, I find myself deeply interested in the challenges that are being reported on this blog between LT and AJ.

I am somewhat/mostly removed from those type of updates and depend solely on this lovely blog to provide me that high level information I am not getting on a daily basis here in Donkey Land. Instead I am inundated with Donkey coaching changes and additions of people who I could care less to hear about, but do find humorous on occasion. Other than that, football is dead in Donkey land; all you can get updates on are the Avalanche (NHL) and the occasional Mammoth (indoor lacrosse) or Nuggets (NBA).

The most recent addition the new young man put in charge of the Donkeys for the next few years has selected to do is, keep it in the family. This is somewhat how the report went, on the local news a few days back. Josh McDaniels brings in younger brother as an offensive assistant, his previous experience is with an Ohio High School team where he held the QB Coach position.

"Yes from High school to the Broncos (with a major "nah-look" on his face)"

Take a look at this link to the local news on the hiring....

http://www.9news.com/sports/article.aspx?storyid=108240&catid=295

.....also do not hesitate to read the comments in link (hilarious)... some are right on, such as this one:

Josh: But Ben, do you really think you are ready for this type of leap?
Ben: Give me a chance bro. Do you remember when I coached the QB's at Massillon Jackson High School 4 years ago?...Jackson High School,

Hail to you.
Our days with you and our friends so true,
are the happiest days of our lives.
We'll sing this song to our athlete's strong,
to a team that never fails.
So in all we do be brave and true,
Jackson High School, Hail to you.

Josh: Yeah, I do, but that was 4 years ago. What have you been doing since?
Ben: I coached QB's at Canton McKinley HS just 2 years ago.
Josh: Oh, right! I forgot about that.
Ben: So, am I hired? I just really want to meet Nate Jackson.
Josh: Deal. How about I make you the assistant head football coach of the Denver Broncos. Sound good?
Ben: Perfect.

Comments like these from the "Bronco Faithful in Bronco Country" have me laughing, and though stuck in this snowy "paradise", I can not help but get a feeling of further confidence about how we will handle these Donkeys in the future, Ed Hochuli or not.

On another note that I am very unfamiliar with, and as stated look to you as my eyes and ears back in the homeland: AJ vs. LT.

It was not long ago when AJ arrived on the scene after the sudden death of John Butler. While making some good decisions during his time here as it pertains to deals and the draft, it sounds as though his health is beginning to fail him. Some would call it dementia, others may refer more to is as Alzheimer's. Regardless of how we choose to diagnose AJ's problems, he must be put in his place, and recognize he is a suit who sits in a box with a hair cut way to similar to Jimmy Johnson.

Jimmy Johnson!

From that vantage point he feels as though he can make comments about arguably the best tail back to play the game (after Walter). Was LT slower this year due to the toe etc... Of course he was, but I know all of you watched the last couple of regular season games, specifically the Denver game when LT was LT. I didn't notice a loss in speed during those games.

AJ you need to back off and keep your mouth shut. Your job is to make decisions on bringing in new talent and you should remove yourself from trying to stir the pot and even beginning to vaguely insinuate that you may be moving the player that puts fans in the stadium. LT gives us the best opportunity to put points/wins on the board and moving him is incomprehensible.... if you ask a Charger Fan in Donkey Land. Should it come down to AJ of LT I would expect Mr Spanos to make the right decision and let AJ know not let the door hit him on the way out. How dare you mock a future Hall of Famer and San Diego Legend.

That is how this Charger Fan in Donkey Land sees it.

A Message From The Office of The President

First 100 Days: Action Item List
Close Guantanamo...Check
Close CIA Prisons......Check
Chastise AJ Smith.....Check