Vencie Says: Philip Rivers Crushes, Playoffs and the Abomination of Cromartie

Stellar show this last Sunday following the destruction of the Titans on Christmas Night. What did Vencie Glenn, et. al. have to say? Let us proceed...
On Philip Rivers:

"He has become the Michael Jordan of this football team. He carries this football team, and he has done an excellent job of taking over this team, putting it on his shoulders.....and they ride on Philip Rivers."

I too have a man crush on Philip Rivers. On account of the love that Vencie Glenn expresses each week towards #17, I do not feel like less of a man for it. Thank you Vencie.

On Resting Players Against The 'Skins:

"I just like everybody playing. I don't have a problem taking out your starters, maybe the second quarter, something, just to give them a little freshness, keep them sharp, but sitting out the whole game? I don't believe in that."

Agreed. Get the guys two quarters to keep game sharpness, timing, and most importantly, the Sunday body clock in tune. Rest guys who have been battling injuries (i.e. Shawne Merriman).

On Fearing Particular Teams In The Playoffs:

"You've got to be cautious of EVERYBODY once the playoffs start"

I agree with this assessment but 'to be the best' you 'have to beat the best'. However, I am weary of the Steelers because they seem to have our number the last couple of years so I'd prefer to not see their elimination from playoff contention. Other than that, bring on the Pats in the Divisional round and the Colts in the AFCCG. That would be the test of all tests.

On Which Player Has Been The Biggest Surprise:

"Philip Rivers is the guy that I think is the most improved. I just think his decision making, the way he spreads the ball, how he's taken control of this offense, and his accuracy is just amazing as a defensive man (speaking of himself)."

I can't say I'm entirely surprised by Philip Rivers as it has been demonstrated week in and week out that he has been anointed as God's quarterback. So no surprise there. I would go with the defensive line play and Brandon Dombrowski on the O-line. I was tearing them apart during week 8 but they've gelled over the past two months. Me likes their improvement and find myself surprised weekly.

What Is The Deal With Cromartie?

At this point there was hysterical laughter by the panel as they knew it was a topic Vencie would relish the opportunity to opine. SI's Jim Trotter even suggested that it was not a viewer question, but instead, a question planted by Vencie Glenn. Here is the direct text of the viewer e-mail question followed by Vencie's response:

"I've been sayin' this all year. I'm glad some people people watch film the way I watch it. It's a shame that one guy out out of Ten (11?) just does not want to be physical. THIS is the National Football League. You sign up for contact. He does not EVEN want to touch anybody. I just can't believe the defensive coordinator just let's him get away with it."

Jim Trotter expressed his opinion on Cromartie more diplomatically by essentially saying that Cro' is what he is and you can't make him something he's not, this probably being the best way to assess Cromartie. We'll never get a guy who plays a physical brand of football because it's not part of his own self image. Cro' views himself as Deion Sanders not as a Quentin Jammer or Pat Fischer. My personal opinion on the way Cromartie plays: a complete embarrassment for someone who calls himself a professional football player. Unfortunately there are many others just like him.

I felt the need to add in some additional Jim Trotter commentary because his analysis is sound and he's also good at intelligently 'taking the piss' out of somebody.....in this case Josh McDaniels and the Denver Broncos.

Jim Trotter On Josh McDaniels:

"I think it's a guy who came in, and in my opinion, thought he had all the answers early when they started 6-0, and now he's finding out that the NFL is a lot tougher than that....and we'll see you next year Josh."

This was better live because JT was really punking McDaniels when he said "...and we'll see you next year Josh." It was pretty funny....and I laughed.

Jim Trotter On The Broncos' Playoff Hopes:

"Don't you feel bad for Denver? 6-0. Now they're probably out of the playoffs. Geez, I feel terrible for 'em"

Once again video does more justice as JT rolled his eyes when talking about feeling bad for the Broncos.

Until next week's edition of Sunday Night Football in San Diego, 'Vencie Says', bids you farewell.

Always remember: Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor Does Avenging Jack Murphy.

Degrees of Crazy in America's Finest City

After the first drive against the Titans on Christmas night ended on a failed 3rd down conversion attempt, Philip Rivers trotted off the field where he and Norv Turner began to discuss what went wrong. I vividly recall thinking to myself: wow, that's the most heated I've seen Philip and Norv.

Fast forward to yesterday's press conference where Norv addressed the incident. Kevin Acee tweeted one quote and I thought it was one of the funniest lines ever dropped by Norv. In fact I think it's the funniest thing Norv will EVER say. Norv Turner on he and Philip Rivers talking animatedly on the sideline:

"I'm half crazy, and he's full crazy."

Love it.

Philip Rivers Moves Up In The MVP Race.....and some fans are idiots

This weekend Philip Rivers had another excellent game, getting the Bolts in position for a game winning FG against a tough Bengals team and in so doing entered the MVP talk on a national level. All we've heard to date is the genius that is Manning, Brees and Favre but with recent Viking and Saint losses Philip is beginning to get a bit more due.
From Peter King's, Monday Morning Quarterback

1. Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis. Played another classic Thursday night, four touchdowns and a pick (through the hands of Dallas Clark), and, barring an upset in the last two weeks, should win his fourth MVP. That's how I see it, anyway.

2. Philip Rivers, QB, San Diego. Another game-winning drive, this one in the final minute to set up a field goal that gave the Chargers their ninth win in a row over a game Cincinnati team. It's a mark of how great Brees is playing right now that Charger fans actually Tweet and e-mail me, moaning about letting Brees get away. People: You've got a great quarterback on your team -- and he should be dropping back for you for the next decade. In the last 11 games (nine of them wins), Rivers has thrown 22 touchdowns and six interceptions.

I agree with King 100%. Manning #1 and Rivers #2. Philip has been money the last 9 weeks and I take no exception to anything King writes. My beef is with idiots who gripe about not having Brees as San Diego's QB. If you take umbrage with Brees not manning the helm there's only one person to point the finger at: Drew Brees! He got it going one season too late. Had he began to blossom in 2003 then Philip Rivers never would have been acquired in 2004. Not to mention he ended the 2005 season with a catastrophic shoulder injury, an injury that I too suffered, and let me tell you, the thought of even heaving a football 20 yards makes me cringe in pain. The Chargers had to let Brees go considering both the injury and the fact that they had a young Philip Rivers sitting on the bench due millions of dollars. It was the right move by the Chargers and now both San Diego and New Orleans have outstanding QBs.

So stop emailing and texting Peter King you douche bags!

The Philip Rivers Commemorative Coin

The football/humor site, Kissing Suzy Kolber, generally makes a living off of taking the piss out of a good many players in the NFL..........Philip Rivers is no exception to their scorn.

Each Tuesday they take photos from the previous weekend of football delight and add captions. While Philip usually takes a beating at the site this photoshop was outstanding!!!

Go to Kissing Suzy Kolber's LOLNFL: Week 12 for more hilarity.

Vencie Says: tellin' it the way it is, each and every week

Vencie Glenn on Philip Rivers' Awesomeness:
"Last week he took a game winning drive and went down and scored. This week he took the ball with 6 minutes and kept the other team from getting the ball back. That is a sign of a QB that is maturing and understands his role and where his team is."

On Next Week's Opponent, Bronco back-up QB Chris Simms, and his lack of Awesomeness:
"PR's gonna give you 28 every game. He gonna give you 28 every game. Simms will not get you 28. He won't even get you 14."

On Bill Belichick's gamble to go for it on 4th down, with a lead, on the Patriots' 30 yard line...against Peyton Manning:
"I just think you take yourself way too serious as a head coach. I just think that was a personal call, had nothing to do with your team trying to win the game, I think he wanted to prove a point, and it backfired and rightfully so it should have and he should be embarrassed."

Vencie Glenn spared Antonio Cromartie this week, but as always, he pulled no punches.

Charger Fan In Donkey Land: Week 9 Giants

Week Nine in the Chargers' season took us cross country to meet our rival, the New Your football Giants. Well, they're not really our rival, however we will always have an association with them as long as Rivers and Manning are at their respective helms......you know this because you all heard it over.... and over.... and over.... and over....... this past week.

(Time to Digress)
Not to bore anyone, but I have to make one last comment on this topic before I move on. EARTH TO THE MANNINGS! You are NOT bigger then the game and you do NOT have the right to act as though you are bigger than the Game, stating that you will not play for a certain team, specifically our BOLTS.

"wonk, wonk,wonk"

BUT THANK ALL THAT IS HOLY THAT HE WAS GIVEN THE RIGHT TO DO IT BACK ON DRAFT DAY; NEVER WANTED YOU! Henceforth, you will experience a RIVERS running through your defense, each time our teams meet. Get used to it!

So we looked to last week as a true test against a reasonable opponent, even with them coming off a 3 game losing streak. They talked it up in NY stating it was a must win and the game would take on a playoff atmosphere. Well we look at every game as an opportunity to get another win and we feel confident going up against anyone.

We didn't look unstoppable by any means, but good teams find ways to win week in and week out. No one ever said that had to be pretty, but that last drive in the 4th sure was pretty if you ask this Bolt fan.

A few less dropped passes and this game isn't even close. We released Chambers, but apparently he shook hands with Gatesy and Malcom Floyd, unexpectedly passing on the butterfingers. Glad that is out of our system.......(it is isn't it?)

The play that has to stand out in your mind was when there was an injury timeout and the camera angle panned over to LT, Rivers and Norv talking on the sideline and LT appeared to suggest a play. That play was the next one called and it wasn't for him; it instead went to .43 cent running out of the back field in man to man coverage and getting open for a 25 yrd gain. Nice call LT ; and even better execution by Rivers and .43 cent. However, the biggest shout out has to go to Norv for taking advice and trusting his players and letting them make that call.

Games like these build the character needed for teams moving into the second half of the season. Knowing that your 2 minute drill is capable and knowing that we have shown how we can utilize our weapons to move down the field with the game on the line breeds confidence.

I must say it was hard not to wipe the smile off my face seeing the defensive side of the ball begin to show itself. Seeing the ol' Lights Out dance was nice, not once but twice on Sunday. Weddle also had a good game. I liked seeing the defense show some desire and get to the quarterback with our blitz packages.

They may be baby steps but they're just what the team needs to build confidence, and attitude.

We have another good opponent, in the Iggles, coming to Jack Murphy Field on Sunday. Our House, which we must protect by any means necessary. It is important we get this victory against the Iggles this week and continue the attack all teams that step before us.

They say it is a game of inches and that is exactly what we are away from the lead in the AFC WEST.

Lets get these Iggles, continue on our way, and destroy all who stand in our way. That's how this Charger fan abroad sees it.

Charger Fan In Donkey Land
BOLT PRIDE

Mailbag: Bolt Agony Sounds Off

Each week I'm inundated with emails. They're mostly related to winning a lottery in the United Kingdom *, my newest follower on Twitter**, or advertising for erectile dysfunction*** . Every once in a while though, I get an email related to the Chargers and because I value the opinions of the masses****, I'm generally inclined to post the email, in this especially creative little segment we call: Mailbag.

This individual goes by the moniker, Bolt Agony.......uh-oh, can't be good.

Men,

I hardly weigh in on these topics, but as my students work on their projects I have a minute....or
two.  First, the Chargers are no surprise to me. We are paying for our sins as San Diego fans
because we live in such a nice place.....we cannot have a contender! It wouldn't be fair to
the homophobes that live in Mass., shoveling snow and spewing slurs at people. They're the
same each year; under performing. But they play in a weak division, and will easily make
the playoffs; yeah I said it.....the Broncos will implode starting this weekend, and the Chargers
will beat them at least once if not both times.


What is the problem with the Chargers? One Name......AJ SMITH.  I would go with the
owner, but that is not a change that will be made, so the root of the problem starts with Mr.
"It is what it is".  He's a control freak, but does not take responsibility for his control.  Our
defense is too small and he blames the players.  Please Mr. Smith go out and trade some draft
picks for some D-Linemen NOW!. Bobby Beatherd may have mortgaged the future, but our draft
picks do not pan out often (BUSTer Davis).  So Follow the Raiders' lead (I can't believe I just
typed that) and go get a quality D-Linemen or three.   Also choose a better head coach....Norv is
a pussy! Stop thinking he will change or be someone else because he won't. He is who he is!
For all I care make Ron Rivera the head coach; at least he knows what it takes to be a player,
coach, and Super Bowl Champion.....and can tear his players a new one.

AJ please keep your comments about the team being soft to yourself or in the locker-room.  I
don't blame #56 for talking back to you, he is trying, but he is hurt....shouldn't be playing, and is
frustrated with jokers like Cromartie, Castillo, Gregory, Phillips, and the ten other so called
D-Lineman playing.  He won't be here next year and neither will LT (I don't care what anyone
says, he's still good but is trying to run through NO hole....no back would produce more with
that O-Line) Gates is the big question mark....will he be here next year?  He is turning it on now,
and if he keeps playing this way I would say keep him.

Our only hope is the man himself, P. Rivers.  

Regretfully Yours,

BOLT AGONY

P.S.  Marcus McNiell and Luis Castillo; please go to Mexico and get back on the juice,
you SUCK!

*Ridiculous amounts of Pounds Sterling. Cool.

**The Real Mike Tyson is now following me. Is "The Real Mike Tyson" the real "The Real 
Mike Tyson"? Either way it's fucking cool!

***It's cool....I'm cool.

****And I'm a content whore.

The "Free-Fall-To-My-Death" Dream Replaced By A Greater Horror : The Bleacher Bums Return to the Airwaves

Better Swayze: Bohdi in Point Break or Daulton in Road House?

It's alright. They're not back on the air.....I'm describing my personal nightmare. Every time I think that I may not have something to write about......up sprouts material (of course this was supposed to be finished on Friday). The inspiration; former Bleach Bum ATL Earl ranting and raving on the Scott & BR show.

ATL is a moron and I don't have to prove it because he does it on his own every time he opens his mouth. He cried that San Diego wasn't ready for the brand of radio he and Jordan provided; two fans who kept it real. He went on to say, "San Diego can't accept that the Padres suck and the Chargers can't admit that they kept the Wrong QB (Rivers instead of Brees) and let the wrong RB leave (should have kept Turner and cut LT after '07 season).

Here's why you're an idiot Earl:

1. The Padres are in last place so technically they do suck. But it is the uneducated fan who cannot see the great strides that have been made in recent months. The Hairston trade brought power arms but most importantly opened up playing time for both Venable and Blanks which has worked out nicely. The Peavy trade brought more power arms and opened up payroll flexibility.........the kind that would allow the FO to sign all of it's draft picks. The Padres are on the come.....you idiot!
2. When you have a young QB on the bench who has been paid 1st round money and your starter who is about to become a FA shreds his throwing shoulder in the season finale the decision for General Manager AJ Smith becomes pretty simple: let Brees walk and turn the keys over to Rivers. In fact I'm amazed that AJ even offered Brees a contract after a labrum tear to his throwing shoulder. I like Drew Brees A LOT.....but anyone who thinks he should have been retained with that sort of medical red flag is a MORON/IDIOT.
   

I cannot believe San Diego was subjected to such lunacy during the Bleacher Bum experiment. At the end of the day it was not their abrasive personas, combative positions, or anti San Diego biases that made The Bleacher Bums so intolerable. It was the simple fact that they were so uneducated as sports fans. Ignorant to San Diego's history as well as the general sports knowledge required of some one who would discuss it as a profession.

I have not plummeted to a free fall death and the Bleacher Bums are still off the air. Life is good.

Every Bleacher Bum Broadcast should have ended with the audio from this Billy Madison scene:

Jordan and Earl's contribution to talk radio in a nutshell.

Editor's Note:
See Scott Kaplan's Facebook page for listener comments.

...and so it ends, Chargers 24 -Steelers 35

Probably not the one play we ran during the 3rd quarter

The Chargers kick a FG and position themselves to go into the half with a lead....but then the dreaded "Prevent" defense rears its ugly head and right quick we're down 10-14 going into the half. I don't remember who posited the ol' maxim that, "the Prevent defense, Prevents you from Winning", but boy does it ring true. It would be a harbinger of things to come.

The 3rd quarter began with an old fashioned 8 minute drive which was quickly followed by a big Sproles return and an even bigger tipped Philip Rivers passed, picked off by Larry Foote.

When the 3rd quarter was all said and done we had possessed the ball for :17 seconds....1 play...and 2 turnovers.... and a season slipped away.

Upon reflection it's worth noting that when you have to look at all of these little moments within the contest and you begin to play the "if this, if that game".....it quite simply means that you weren't the better team. The better team won out today.

Forthcoming will be the 2008 Season Obituary...it seems fitting, as I purchased the Headstone for 2008 back in August.

A FINAL NOTE:

When the game was over, the house cleaned up and family and guests gone for the night I walked outside and sat down on the patio. In one arm I held my little Daughter who came into this world during the Chargers' preseason (a baptism by fire) and in my hand a mug, from which I drank the cup of coffee of the year (Blue Mountain Jamaican of which my brother had no business buying for me). The moon slowly crept over the easterly mountains, full, bright, and orange. I hadn't seen a moon look like that since a spring break in Punta Penasco (Rocky Point).

Here I sat, in mid-January, short sleeves, bare feet, outside and watching a killer moon ascend into a crystal clear star filled sky induced by our all too frequent Santa Ana Winds ( they are becoming more frequent, so it seems). I thought, boy am I lucky.

I just spent the whole afternoon with some of my best friends watching a football game. College friends and family....high fiving and cursing...eating, drinking, laughing. Thanks for spending the day with me. While it was not the outcome we wanted I couldn't have asked for better company to suffer through it with me. I thought about this good fortune as that moon appeared from out of no where and realized that it was a sign... a sign of future days and and seasons...a sign of hope. Maybe this was the obituary? Better put that headstone up so they know we were here......

Thanks Big Fella

Living in the Past: Reflections on the Denver Route

We have included some images from the "AFC West Championship game last Sunday" and wanted to revisit it one last time before moving forward to the Wild card game against the Colts tomorrow. As you can see to the left, there was no shortage of Hochuli impersonators. That ol timer had a blind man's walking cane--and should have been charging $1 per picture--he was getting mobbed. It set the tone perfectly for the day....and then it was halftime and we were up 24-6. What to do during a blowout? Hmmm...

Well on a day where it now appears as though you'll be going to the playoffs at 8-8 and your ARCHENEMY the New England Patriots will be sitting at home this post season with an 11-5 mark, there is really only one thing to do....start an antagonizing text message war with one of your best friends...who incidentally hails from Boston...

Yes, I was the dickhead who was texting during the game, but I didn't begin until we were blowing the Donkeys out (ooh, that was beginning to sound like an entertainment show in TJ) and it is worth noting that I am an excellent mutitasker. Below is the text transcript, cleaned of hurried spelling errors (mostly, I think)...Enjoy Boston Fan floundering in agony (sorry TL)...

WE are blue and BOSTON is red...

October 12th, 2008. Meaningless regular season game?
Go blow your brother and I hope LT gets aids and dies. We are 11-5 and don't make the playoffs! That's fuckin' bullshit. Fuck the Jets as well. Lets...(Transmission of part 2 failed...lost in texting space)
That's hilarious...and going on the blog! Too funny!
And don't worry, LT will cry like a bitch by the end of the playoffs and I am betting on every other coach in the league to out coach Norv Turner.
Were there tears when you wrote that? Good luck with the Yankees in '09!
No tears just anger and Three Championship Trophies!
AHHH...the asterisk card!

What will you be doing next weekend?
Not watching the Pats, so what's your point?
Say you're watchin' the Bruins...not the front runnin' Celts!

Don't be jealous, just watch as your joke of a sports town lets you down again.

It's all good, your town never wins a thing ever and this year won't be any different.
What are you getting Tom and Giselle for the big day? You should have time to shop!
Don't Know.
Seriously...what are you getting them?

Saux should sign Manny!
It's not going to happen. We have to "hope" Lowell is healthy and Ortiz plays well like we are used to.
Hope...that sounds pretty liberal. Who did you vote for?
Not for the guy who wants to tax me more. I am a realist not a socialist.

This just in...Peyton Manning wins the 2009 MVP....that's O.K....we have HOPE (PR received 2 first place votes).

And so the text battle ended and it felt good. It hurt to see a friend in pain......but fuck him and his teams!!!

After the game all of Charger Nation was happy and continued to revel in the ecstasy of avenging the "Hochuli Bowl"....below are some Bolt fans with an excellent banner....what you cannot see is the background action which our camera failed to adequately capture...

...a young Denver Bronco Fan, 25ish and female, decided to "gear up" and bring a rather large prop (A Bronco stuffed animal). What ensued was a game of "keep away" and little Bronco sailed back and forth to a symphony of cheers, tears, and "fuck you, you fuckin' assholes!!!!!". It was kind of sad actually and I felt bad for her. She did land a lot of kicks to the rear-ends of taunting Charger fans but it did little to assuage her agony.

When in enemy territory....wear your team gear....but leave the props at home...or at least hide them as you enter and exit the gates of hell!

Best T-Shirt of the Week

Forget the Pro-Bowl! Would you want to be a part of a club that would take Brett Favre?

Of the numerous shirts to be had in the Stadium parking lot on game day...with the hijacked logos...stretched out collars...and silly slogans....this diamond in the rough shined like a beacon beyond the overflowing Porta-John.

Over our last four games Phillip Rivers tossed 11 TDs against 1 Int....the audacity of PRivers to show up Pro-Bowl quarterback Jay Cutler/Chokler/Little Hillbilly!

Ah, The Audacity of Hope....Thanks for keeping it going, Phillip.

See the boys at Frightening Lightning to get yours today.

"One-In-A-Rows" Complete: Don't mess with the Holy Trinity

Do not underestimate The Holy Trinity: Little Hillbilly Voodoo Doll, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and Jessica Alba.

It is nearly impossible to accomplish things with out faith and so we put our faith in other worldly Idols and Sages to bring us back from the abyss. Make no mistake about it, we are back, as our 52 point exclamation mark can attest.

"The Big Hitter" Lama and his cohort Jessica Alba prophesied a monumental showdown between the Chargers and Broncos on December 28th...

....and they delivered on their prophecy, karma being restored to the football universe. In addition to the work of our Spiritual gurus there was a Voodoo doll created to avenge the Phillip Rivers Pro Bowl snubbing/completely fuck up Jay Cutler's shit...and it worked. With every air-mailed pass and end zone interception we could feel the thrust of those needles into his appendages...as well as his head. That's a Pro Bowl Quarterback?

Hey you S.O.B...I gotta piss... take that needle out of my voodoo crotch.

Thank you... to a near and dear source who sent this picture to our phone at Jack Murphy Field when the score reached 38-13....image says it all doesn't it? The guy threw 2 picks, one in the end zone and Philip Rivers not a one. Who's the Pro Bowler? Not Jay Chokler!

What a good time calling EVERY DONKEY who was wearing a #6 jersey, Bubby Brister! Half of them didn't even get it and no wonder really.

We took some good pictures of Charger Fans with Banners and others of Bronco Fans getting their props (giant Bronco Stuffed Animal) stolen from them from Charger fans...quite funny....young lady very pissed, many a colorful epithet.

Why do people show up to Charger/Bronco games wearing....Dan Marino, Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Cassel and every other dickhead's jersey not involved in the game? Why pay all that money for a ticket if not a fan of those two teams? Wearing a random jersey to show that you actually know football...actually shows that you know JACK SQUAT!

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