Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Mailbag: Bolt Agony Sounds Off


Each week I'm inundated with emails. They're mostly related to winning a lottery in the United Kingdom *, my newest follower on Twitter**, or advertising for erectile dysfunction*** . Every once in a while though, I get an email related to the Chargers and because I value the opinions of the masses****, I'm generally inclined to post the email, in this especially creative little segment we call: Mailbag.

This individual goes by the moniker, Bolt Agony.......uh-oh, can't be good.

Men,
I hardly weigh in on these topics, but as my students work on their projects I have a minute....or
two. First, the Chargers are no surprise to me. We are paying for our sins as San Diego fans
because we live in such a nice place.....we cannot have a contender! It wouldn't be fair to
the homophobes that live in Mass., shoveling snow and spewing slurs at people. They're the
same each year; under performing. But they play in a weak division, and will easily make
the playoffs; yeah I said it.....the Broncos will implode starting this weekend, and the Chargers
will beat them at least once if not both times.


What is the problem with the Chargers? One Name......AJ SMITH. I would go with the
owner, but that is not a change that will be made, so the root of the problem starts with Mr.
"It is what it is". He's a control freak, but does not take responsibility for his control. Our
defense is too small and he blames the players. Please Mr. Smith go out and trade some draft
picks for some D-Linemen NOW!. Bobby Beatherd may have mortgaged the future, but our draft
picks do not pan out often (BUSTer Davis). So Follow the Raiders' lead (I can't believe I just
typed that) and go get a quality D-Linemen or three. Also choose a better head coach....Norv is
a pussy! Stop thinking he will change or be someone else because he won't. He is who he is!
For all I care make Ron Rivera the head coach; at least he knows what it takes to be a player,
coach, and Super Bowl Champion.....and can tear his players a new one.

AJ please keep your comments about the team being soft to yourself or in the locker-room. I
don't blame #56 for talking back to you, he is trying, but he is hurt....shouldn't be playing, and is
frustrated with jokers like Cromartie, Castillo, Gregory, Phillips, and the ten other so called
D-Lineman playing. He won't be here next year and neither will LT (I don't care what anyone
says, he's still good but is trying to run through NO hole....no back would produce more with
that O-Line) Gates is the big question mark....will he be here next year? He is turning it on now
,
and
if he keeps playing this way I would say keep him.
Our only hope is the man himself, P. Rivers.  

Regretfully Yours,


BOLT AGONY


P.S. Marcus McNiell and Luis Castillo; please go to Mexico and get back on the juice,
you SUCK!


*
Ridiculous amounts of Pounds Sterling. Cool.

**The Real Mike Tyson is now following me. Is "The Real Mike Tyson" the real "The Real
Mike Tyson"? Either way it's fucking cool!

***It's cool....I'm cool.

****And I'm a content whore.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Living in the Past: Reflections on the Denver Route

We have included some images from the "AFC West Championship game last Sunday" and wanted to revisit it one last time before moving forward to the Wild card game against the Colts tomorrow. As you can see to the left, there was no shortage of Hochuli impersonators. That ol timer had a blind man's walking cane--and should have been charging $1 per picture--he was getting mobbed. It set the tone perfectly for the day....and then it was halftime and we were up 24-6. What to do during a blowout? Hmmm...

Well on a day where it now appears as though you'll be going to the playoffs at 8-8 and your ARCHENEMY the New England Patriots will be sitting at home this post season with an 11-5 mark, there is really only one thing to do....start an antagonizing text message war with one of your best friends...who incidentally hails from Boston...

Yes, I was the dickhead who was texting during the game, but I didn't begin until we were blowing the Donkeys out (ooh, that was beginning to sound like an entertainment show in TJ) and it is worth noting that I am an excellent mutitasker. Below is the text transcript, cleaned of hurried spelling errors (mostly, I think)...Enjoy Boston Fan floundering in agony (sorry TL)...

WE are blue and BOSTON is red...

October 12th, 2008. Meaningless regular season game?
Go blow your brother and I hope LT gets aids and dies. We are 11-5 and don't make the playoffs! That's fuckin' bullshit. Fuck the Jets as well. Lets...(Transmission of part 2 failed...lost in texting space)
That's hilarious...and going on the blog! Too funny!
And don't worry, LT will cry like a bitch by the end of the playoffs and I am betting on every other coach in the league to out coach Norv Turner.
Were there tears when you wrote that? Good luck with the Yankees in '09!
No tears just anger and Three Championship Trophies!
AHHH...the asterisk card!

What will you be doing next weekend?
Not watching the Pats, so what's your point?
Say you're watchin' the Bruins...not the front runnin' Celts!

Don't be jealous, just watch as your joke of a sports town lets you down again.

It's all good, your town never wins a thing ever and this year won't be any different.
What are you getting Tom and Giselle for the big day? You should have time to shop!
Don't Know.
Seriously...what are you getting them?

Saux should sign Manny!
It's not going to happen. We have to "hope" Lowell is healthy and Ortiz plays well like we are used to.
Hope...that sounds pretty liberal. Who did you vote for?
Not for the guy who wants to tax me more. I am a realist not a socialist.

This just in...Peyton Manning wins the 2009 MVP....that's O.K....we have HOPE (PR received 2 first place votes).

And so the text battle ended and it felt good. It hurt to see a friend in pain......but fuck him and his teams!!!

After the game all of Charger Nation was happy and continued to revel in the ecstasy of avenging the "Hochuli Bowl"....below are some Bolt fans with an excellent banner....what you cannot see is the background action which our camera failed to adequately capture...


...a young Denver Bronco Fan, 25ish and female, decided to "gear up" and bring a rather large prop (A Bronco stuffed animal). What ensued was a game of "keep away" and little Bronco sailed back and forth to a symphony of cheers, tears, and "fuck you, you fuckin' assholes!!!!!". It was kind of sad actually and I felt bad for her. She did land a lot of kicks to the rear-ends of taunting Charger fans but it did little to assuage her agony.

When in enemy territory....wear your team gear....but leave the props at home...or at least hide them as you enter and exit the gates of hell!