Vencie Says: Philip Rivers Crushes, Playoffs and the Abomination of Cromartie

Stellar show this last Sunday following the destruction of the Titans on Christmas Night. What did Vencie Glenn, et. al. have to say? Let us proceed...
On Philip Rivers:

"He has become the Michael Jordan of this football team. He carries this football team, and he has done an excellent job of taking over this team, putting it on his shoulders.....and they ride on Philip Rivers."

I too have a man crush on Philip Rivers. On account of the love that Vencie Glenn expresses each week towards #17, I do not feel like less of a man for it. Thank you Vencie.

On Resting Players Against The 'Skins:

"I just like everybody playing. I don't have a problem taking out your starters, maybe the second quarter, something, just to give them a little freshness, keep them sharp, but sitting out the whole game? I don't believe in that."

Agreed. Get the guys two quarters to keep game sharpness, timing, and most importantly, the Sunday body clock in tune. Rest guys who have been battling injuries (i.e. Shawne Merriman).

On Fearing Particular Teams In The Playoffs:

"You've got to be cautious of EVERYBODY once the playoffs start"

I agree with this assessment but 'to be the best' you 'have to beat the best'. However, I am weary of the Steelers because they seem to have our number the last couple of years so I'd prefer to not see their elimination from playoff contention. Other than that, bring on the Pats in the Divisional round and the Colts in the AFCCG. That would be the test of all tests.

On Which Player Has Been The Biggest Surprise:

"Philip Rivers is the guy that I think is the most improved. I just think his decision making, the way he spreads the ball, how he's taken control of this offense, and his accuracy is just amazing as a defensive man (speaking of himself)."

I can't say I'm entirely surprised by Philip Rivers as it has been demonstrated week in and week out that he has been anointed as God's quarterback. So no surprise there. I would go with the defensive line play and Brandon Dombrowski on the O-line. I was tearing them apart during week 8 but they've gelled over the past two months. Me likes their improvement and find myself surprised weekly.

What Is The Deal With Cromartie?

At this point there was hysterical laughter by the panel as they knew it was a topic Vencie would relish the opportunity to opine. SI's Jim Trotter even suggested that it was not a viewer question, but instead, a question planted by Vencie Glenn. Here is the direct text of the viewer e-mail question followed by Vencie's response:

"I've been sayin' this all year. I'm glad some people people watch film the way I watch it. It's a shame that one guy out out of Ten (11?) just does not want to be physical. THIS is the National Football League. You sign up for contact. He does not EVEN want to touch anybody. I just can't believe the defensive coordinator just let's him get away with it."

Jim Trotter expressed his opinion on Cromartie more diplomatically by essentially saying that Cro' is what he is and you can't make him something he's not, this probably being the best way to assess Cromartie. We'll never get a guy who plays a physical brand of football because it's not part of his own self image. Cro' views himself as Deion Sanders not as a Quentin Jammer or Pat Fischer. My personal opinion on the way Cromartie plays: a complete embarrassment for someone who calls himself a professional football player. Unfortunately there are many others just like him.

I felt the need to add in some additional Jim Trotter commentary because his analysis is sound and he's also good at intelligently 'taking the piss' out of somebody.....in this case Josh McDaniels and the Denver Broncos.

Jim Trotter On Josh McDaniels:

"I think it's a guy who came in, and in my opinion, thought he had all the answers early when they started 6-0, and now he's finding out that the NFL is a lot tougher than that....and we'll see you next year Josh."

This was better live because JT was really punking McDaniels when he said "...and we'll see you next year Josh." It was pretty funny....and I laughed.

Jim Trotter On The Broncos' Playoff Hopes:

"Don't you feel bad for Denver? 6-0. Now they're probably out of the playoffs. Geez, I feel terrible for 'em"

Once again video does more justice as JT rolled his eyes when talking about feeling bad for the Broncos.

Until next week's edition of Sunday Night Football in San Diego, 'Vencie Says', bids you farewell.

Always remember: Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor Does Avenging Jack Murphy.

Degrees of Crazy in America's Finest City

After the first drive against the Titans on Christmas night ended on a failed 3rd down conversion attempt, Philip Rivers trotted off the field where he and Norv Turner began to discuss what went wrong. I vividly recall thinking to myself: wow, that's the most heated I've seen Philip and Norv.

Fast forward to yesterday's press conference where Norv addressed the incident. Kevin Acee tweeted one quote and I thought it was one of the funniest lines ever dropped by Norv. In fact I think it's the funniest thing Norv will EVER say. Norv Turner on he and Philip Rivers talking animatedly on the sideline:

"I'm half crazy, and he's full crazy."

Love it.

Let's Play: 'The 2009 Chargers in a Word'

When Chargers beat writer Kevin Acee appeared on XX1090 with Darren Smith on Monday, the following question was proposed:

Darren Smith: Gimme one word to describe the Chargers.......I know you're a word smith and you have to write these 1000 piece essays but.....one word.....
Kevin Acee: You interrupted me.....Resilient
DS: That's my word
KA: Oh was it your word?......I don't know!......I don't listen to you!......I listen to Hacksaw, Dude.
DS: You're only human

HaHaHa.... "I listen to Hacksaw, Dude."

That was funny but we're not here for funny we're here to talk Bolts. If you are so inclined go ahead and listen to the Podcast for more insights on the Chargers play over the last few weeks as well as a preview to the Christmas Carnage scheduled for Friday night. Right now though, it's time for: 'The Chargers in a Word'.

It's difficult to disagree with the word resilient being attached to this squad. The number of injuries that have occurred since week 1 in Oakland are frankly, retarded. 'No-names' have filled in admirably and become 'somebodies' in the eyes of Charger fans and that folks is long hand for: R-E-S-I-L-I-E-N-T.

I don't know that this team is defined by its resilient nature however. When I think of the 2009 Chargers I think of Philip Rivers calmly controlling his offense and marching them down the field in times of dire need. If I could describe this team with just one word, personified by the play of Philip Rivers, there's little doubt in this fan's mind as to what it would be: Phlegmatic.

Phlegmatic. That's right......phlegmatic.

Editor's Note:
Do not confuse my use of the word phlegmatic as tacit endorsement of The Four Temperaments school of psychology which stems from the ancient medical concept of Humorism. I believe that this interpretation of the word would be more of a discredit to Philip Rivers and myself...... as I do not believe in Humorism and Philip Rivers is AWESOME!

Bolts v Titans: Baby Jesus' Birthday Edition

Everyone remembers the battles of 2007 between San Diego and Tennessee; physical, hard hitting affairs. The UT's Tim Sullivan recounted the discord, yesterday (or maybe the day before):

Pro football never was a dainty business. To watch it on a regular basis is to marvel that some of these men are still able to walk. Yet the rules of engagement — written and unwritten — are fairly explicit concerning acceptable conduct after the referee whistles a play dead or maneuvers made for the perceived purpose of inflicting injury.

Though it’s unfair to generalize about an entire team, the Titans’ reputation is not entirely unwarranted. They rank in the top quarter of the NFL in both personal fouls committed (8) and roughing the passer penalties (four). Sports Illustrated’s September poll of the NFL’s dirtiest players showed Mawae fifth and Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan sixth.

“You can either look at it as a cheap shot or the way football is played,” Chargers receiver Malcom Floyd said. “I’ve seen (Finnegan) playing like that for years. You’ve got to be prepared for it because that’s the way he plays. You can’t be (standing) around by the pile (because) he’ll come in and BOOM.”

Last month, Finnegan was fined in consecutive weeks for a facemasking penalty against San Francisco and two separate infractions against Buffalo.

“I don’t know if they’re the dirtiest team,” Merriman said, “but I know they’ve got some dirty guys. You’ve got a number of guys who go over and beyond.

“There’s a line of being physical between the whistles and doing something extra after the whistle or away from the play. I’ve never hit a guy after the whistle in my career. It’s not going to start this week.”

With an opportunity to secure a first-round playoff bye, the Chargers cannot afford to become preoccupied with payback.

Let's not mince words....the Titans roster is chock full of dickheads and they like to get under your skin none more so than Finnegan and Mawae*. On Christmas night, I look forward to seeing the Chargers exhibit the discipline that they have all year by continuing to be one of the least penalized teams in the league. Zulu Cthulhu is going to get his yards so it is essential that the Titans are not given any extras in the form of penalty yards.

Discipline gentlemen. Play it fair, hard nosed and between the whistles....but if the game gets out of hand then it's time for payback. Eye for an Eye, Tooth for a Tooth...in the name of the Baby Jesus.

An epic holiday battle!

* I would also count Lendale White amongst this collection of a$$-hats......except he's fat and they really don't let him touch the field these days.

Philip Rivers Moves Up In The MVP Race.....and some fans are idiots

This weekend Philip Rivers had another excellent game, getting the Bolts in position for a game winning FG against a tough Bengals team and in so doing entered the MVP talk on a national level. All we've heard to date is the genius that is Manning, Brees and Favre but with recent Viking and Saint losses Philip is beginning to get a bit more due.
From Peter King's, Monday Morning Quarterback

1. Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis. Played another classic Thursday night, four touchdowns and a pick (through the hands of Dallas Clark), and, barring an upset in the last two weeks, should win his fourth MVP. That's how I see it, anyway.

2. Philip Rivers, QB, San Diego. Another game-winning drive, this one in the final minute to set up a field goal that gave the Chargers their ninth win in a row over a game Cincinnati team. It's a mark of how great Brees is playing right now that Charger fans actually Tweet and e-mail me, moaning about letting Brees get away. People: You've got a great quarterback on your team -- and he should be dropping back for you for the next decade. In the last 11 games (nine of them wins), Rivers has thrown 22 touchdowns and six interceptions.

I agree with King 100%. Manning #1 and Rivers #2. Philip has been money the last 9 weeks and I take no exception to anything King writes. My beef is with idiots who gripe about not having Brees as San Diego's QB. If you take umbrage with Brees not manning the helm there's only one person to point the finger at: Drew Brees! He got it going one season too late. Had he began to blossom in 2003 then Philip Rivers never would have been acquired in 2004. Not to mention he ended the 2005 season with a catastrophic shoulder injury, an injury that I too suffered, and let me tell you, the thought of even heaving a football 20 yards makes me cringe in pain. The Chargers had to let Brees go considering both the injury and the fact that they had a young Philip Rivers sitting on the bench due millions of dollars. It was the right move by the Chargers and now both San Diego and New Orleans have outstanding QBs.

So stop emailing and texting Peter King you douche bags!

Vencie Says: 'The Man' keeps it short this week because he has Gravitas!

Vencie: "I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"

This edition of Vencie Says, is late, to say the least. I'm still basking in a solid road victory against Dallas and I'm sure Vencie is as well......he didn't eviscerate anyone on Sunday Night Football in San Diego and that is a sure sign of Charger progress.

Because of the overflow of positivity, just the one quote this week----and it is a telling one when you consider how hard nose of a player, Vencie Glenn was during his day. Vencie was set up by Jim Laslavic with the following question:

Laz:"Final thoughts as the Chargers get ready to play the Bengals. Who would've thought that this would be such a big game...."

Vencie: "I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"
(so good--you get it twice)
Through the first fourteen weeks of the season, two constants have drawn the ire of Vencie Glenn:

1. Norv Turner. Both his leadership and play calling were under fire.
   
2. Defense. Weather it was the soft play of Antonio Cromartie or the overall lack of accountability by the defense to man up, make a stop, and get off the field, Vencie Glenn routinely destroyed the unit.

Well, Norv has started calling a much more dynamic game during the last eight weeks and the result has been a Charger team playing with a lead. This effect has been profound. The Defense now knows that it can bend and if it keeps from breaking it will be trading opposition FGs for Charger TDs. The defense bends but gets stout in the red zone. This stinginess has been personified by goal line stands against the vaunted Giants, Eagles, and Cowboys of the NFC East. In all three match ups the Chargers have either held on 4th down or forced the opposition to kick a FG so it is the defense which should be given credit for playing tough D and contributing mightily to the current 8 game win streak. It isn't always pretty.......but they're getting the job done.

It should also be noted that Antonio Cromartie is playing a nice corner these days. Well hell.....we even saw the young fella playing press coverage at the line and getting his hands all over Roy Williams last Sunday. Keep up the solid coverage and mix in a few tackles and we might send you a Christmas card, Cro'. Good on ya.

So it is with that one quote that we bring this segment to an end. Part of the reason that this website sponsors former Charger Vencie Glenn is because he says the things we are thinking with a few crucial differences: the man has GRAVITAS!

• He's an old school defender// HEED HIS VOICE!
  
• He has a forum that allows his critical voice to be heard en mass.
  
• Now you now why we 'heart' Vencie Glenn and why we'll ask you to look at his comment again:

"I'm just gonna go like this (see picture) for the Chargers' defense. That's all I can say. I love it. Beautiful"

Invictus-Get ready for a 'triumph of the human spirit'

Inverted or Invictus?Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~William Ernest Henley

We will suspend reality and accept that Matt Damon is 6' 3" and 238 lbs for one reason: this is an excellent story, despite being an All Blacks supporter.

San Diego Padres: Greatness on the Block at the Winter Meetings

Yesterday while driving home I divided my time between XX1090 with Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton and Xtra Sports 1360's The Drive, with Josh Rosenberg and Jeff Dotseth. Both shows are entertaining and informative. Yesterday's programs both leaned towards entertaining, for the exact same reasons: the maniacal callers.

Both programs spent chunks of time discussing the Padres and their 'possible' actions at the Baseball Winter Meetings in Indianapolis. There have been a few Padre trade rumors, primarily centered around Kevin Kouzmanoff and Heath Bell. After listening to San Diego's callers you would have been certain that the community regarded Kevin Kouzmanoff as the second coming of Mike Schmidt, George Brett, and Brooks Robinson all rolled into one super fantastic player. I have news for sports radio caller: HE'S NOT. HE'S JUST A DUDE. A DUDE WHO HITS FOR LESS POWER THAN A CORNER INFIELDER SHOULD! A DUDE WHO STRIKES OUT A LOT. A DUDE WHO NEVER WALKS!! LET ME REPEAT.........HE'S JUST A GUY!!!!!!!!

Now let me offer this disclaimer. I like Kevin Kouzmanoff. If I could go get a beer with one Padre it would probably be him (perhaps Heath Bell just to hear the sh*t he would say). He seems like a great guy and he puts forth a nice effort, day in and day out. He plays a solid, if not range deficient, third base. I'd also be ecstatic if he was only required to be the #7 or #8 hitter in our line-up......but he's not. Kevin Kouzmanoff is supposed to be the guy who protects Adrian Gonzalez and in that roll he under performs quite dramatically.

If Padre fans want to see a team that is actually moving forward heading into 2010 they may have to accept the fact that a deal involving Kevin Kouzmanoff may be the means to that end.

You see, we already have a 3rd baseman named Chase Headley. He was the organization's minor league player of the year not so long ago, the Padres' #1 rated prospect, so let's give him a chance to develop at his natural position. Then we can give Kyle Blanks a chance to play everyday in LF which might be a good thing for his development. Oh yea......that guy Will Venable......how 'bout we see if his second half of 2009 was the real thing or a fluke by giving him everyday ABs out in RF. Guys must be given a chance moving forward and right now Kevin Kouzmanoff is impeding the development of our other players. We know what Kouz is; and so do the other MLB clubs. If he can gain us a another piece of the puzzle then make the deal happen, young Jed Hoyer.

In Summation:
Please stop complaining that the sky is falling because Kouz might be dealt.......And please, never ever let me hear the following phrase uttered again on talk radio:

"If Kouz gets traded then I'm not going to a game for the next 10 years. I'm done"

If that's what you think, then you really have no expectation of a championship in San Diego......and you are dumber than the day is long!

I would also prefer to never hear the following from a radio caller regarding Kouz trade talk:

"Why are they going to move him? If it ain't broke, then don't fix it!"

It is broke.....YOU F*CKING MORON! The Padres are coming off of 4th and 5th place finishes!

If San Diego's fans continue to call in with such asinine opinions it is incumbent upon Lee Hamilton, Jeff Dotseth, and Josh Rosenberg to destroy these mindless a**hats with extreme prejudice. I would say that this is all just my humble opinion but doing so would suggest that the Kouz-lovers have a leg to stand on.......which they DON'T!!!

Go Padres
(I apologize for an excessively bold-italic-CAPITALIZED-24 point font induced tirade)

Vencie Says: Know your history....and play some 4th quarter 'D' for cryin' out loud!

I finally nailed the necessary combination of DVR-ing to be able to see Sunday Night Football in San Diego with Jim Laslavic, in its entirety.

Firstly, you must be sure to record Sunday Night Football or at least set the DVR near the end of the game (AJM recommends between 7:45-8:30 pm) so you don't miss the start of SNF in San Diego on Channel 7 NBC, with Jim Laslavic.

Secondly, you must record the Sunday Night Football in San Diego program itself at 8:30 pm. This seems counter intuitive but it's worth mentioning because.......sometimes shit just happens.

Thirdly, you must record Monk at 9:00 pm. Yes Monk with Tony Shalhoub.

Timing is a b*tch with NBC. Between commercial interests and the occasional Viking who breaks his femur you never know how long SNF will last. Consequently you never know how long Laz, Vencie, JR, and La Roi will be on the tube.......which means you better record Monk with Tony Shalhoub too, or you might miss the Pearls of Wisdom from our main man Vencie Glenn! Without further adieu:

On LT passing the legendary Jim Brown on the all time rushing list:
"I like the fact he's a historian, ya know? A lot of these young players they don't know the history of the game. They don't realize that Emmitt Smith didn't invent the running game. There were guys before him. But ya know he's a historian, he understands the guys that paved the way for him. And I really respect that."

On the Chargers' shaky 4th quarter defense:
"They have to learn to close out games. When you got a Brady Quinn and a team you dominated all game and you give up 17 points in the 4th quarter, you can't have that if you're talkin' about making a playoff run.....cuz these teams will eat you up in the playoffs."

"If you're going to win a championship, and La Roi [La Roi Glover] knows this, you have to shut down teams in the 4th quarter......and get off the field."

On upcoming opponent, Cowboy QB, Tony Romo:
"When he plays in December.....is it December yet..... he don't win. The stats don't lie. The stats don't lie. He just can't get it done in December."

Vencie is right. Stats don't lie. We look forward to next Sunday Mr. Romo.

Vencie Glenn pulls no punches. Nor does AJM.

Avenging Jack Murphy Obtains Top Secret Browns' Gameplan

Without a General Manager, Browns' coach Eric Mangini is a virtual lame duck in Cleveland, and as such he has no choice but to show he can be an innovative play caller going forward. Once a sterling Belichick lieutenant, Mangini now resembles a steaming floater in Lake Erie with his inability to lead the Cleveland franchise. His current Browns stint coupled with the disastrous ending with the Jets in 2008 has left the man, once dubbed "Mangenius", in a very precarious situation.

AJM has obtained Mangini's game plan and it is anything but conventional for this afternoon's tilt with the rolling San Diego Chargers. Any observer of NFL football knows two things regarding the Cleveland Browns:

1. Brady Quinn's arms are more for showcasing ripped biceps than for throwing a football.
2. With Jamal Lewis out and Kellen Winslow and Braylen Edwards having been dealt, Cleveland's Joshua Cribbs is the only viable weapon for a Browns' attack.

This is where Mangini's plan lacks convention; because Cribbs' effectiveness is best utilized as a kick returner it is in that facet of the game that he must get touches for his star. As the #3 ranked kick returner in the NFL, Mangini is going to concede points to the Chargers offense so that Cribbs can maximize his touches. This strategy could lead to a lot of crooked numbers being hung today which wouldn't be half bad entertainment value.

While a shootout may be fun, I just can't help but think that Mangini is underestimating the Chargers' special teams. With the exception of the Broncos game at Jack Murphy Field the special teams unit hasn't been that bad, but desperate measures are often the mark of desperate men. Eric Mangini is the model of desperation.

We say get Cribbs involved all you want......this cockamamie game plan has ZERO chance of succeeding!

Chargers 37 Browns 13

The Philip Rivers Commemorative Coin

The football/humor site, Kissing Suzy Kolber, generally makes a living off of taking the piss out of a good many players in the NFL..........Philip Rivers is no exception to their scorn.

Each Tuesday they take photos from the previous weekend of football delight and add captions. While Philip usually takes a beating at the site this photoshop was outstanding!!!

Go to Kissing Suzy Kolber's LOLNFL: Week 12 for more hilarity.

Things Could Always Be Worse: see life as an Oakland Raider fan

Raider Fans have organized an effort to encourage Al Davis to take hold of the franchise by hiring a competent, non crypt-keeper-like individual, to handle personnel matters. The guerrilla fan organization is taking place in the form of bill board advertisement and will surely conclude with terrorist activity and the abduction of Al Davis.

Part of the plea by Raider fan is the recognition by Al Davis that it is simply unacceptable for such a proud franchise to be on its way to a 7th consecutive season of 11 losses or more-----no where on the site is there any reference to losing 13 consecutive contests to their rival out of San Diego.

I appreciate the efforts made by these Raider fans even though I find them, for the most part, a deplorable blight on humanity. They need money to continue the billboard effort and they are currently soliciting donations: MessageTo Al.com

While I applaud their dedication they won't be getting dime 1 out of me......I wouldn't want any roadblocks to getting win #14 in a row, come early 2010.

Always remember.............things could be worse.

Laziness Yields Pointless Posts

This is merely an excuse to show the reunion picture for the 50 greatest Chargers which has become my background photo for the enormous time suck known as Twitter----where venom and vitriol can be abbreviated to 140 characters or less.

Chargers vs. Chiefs: I'm not reinventing the wheel

My only input on this game is that I think it will be a blowout. The Chargers are well aware that the Chiefs are capable of defeating them.....see Steelers falling in OT at Arrowhead last week. The Chargers won't fall into this trap.

Other than that half-ass-analysis I'm not going to reinvent the wheel. There are plenty of others who've put together Charger/Chief game previews so here's what they're saying....


Chiefs-Chargers: What To Watch For [619 Sports Craig Elsten and JT Rogan]

Game Preview: Kansas City Chiefs at San Diego Chargers [Bolts From The Blue]

Chargers vs. Chiefs: Five Things To Watch For [UT Kevin Acee]

Why the Chargers Game May Get Blacked Out: the Longshanks Effect

In the film Braveheart, King Edward's character famously said:

"The problem with Scotland.....is that its FULL of Scots!"

Well this Charger fan will dutifully paraphrase the cruel Longshanks and posit the following:

"The problem with San Diego.....is that its FULL of transplants!"

This ladies and gentlemen is the Longshanks Effect.

I mean that with kindness and absolutely no disrespect to......myself. I am a transplant but I've lived here long enough to know where my bread is buttered and unfortunately I can't say the same for a good many of my neighbors. Because of this indisputable truth we face the possibility of a blackout for Sunday's Chargers/Chiefs game if 1300 tickets aren't sold by tomorrow. San Diego may have a resident pool of over 1 million but that figure does not ring true for the Charger fan base. So what to do? The Union Tribune's Jay Posner proposed the following in his media column this morning:

What better weekend could there be for the Spanos family to buy the remaining tickets, donate them to some worthy causes (military, fire, police, youth groups, etc.) and give all of Southern California a huge thank you for its support over the years? After all, coming off years of ineptitude, the Chargers have sold out every game since 2004 and TV ratings are at their highest point in too many years to count.

I'm sure the Chargers could find a couple of sponsors to join up, and they could hit up KFMB Channel 8, which must be making gobs of money off those huge ratings. But even if they couldn't, so what?

Sure, it's easy for me to spend the Spanoses' money, but we're really not talking about that much cash. To a fan or a sponsor, the cost would be somewhere in the neighborhood of $225,000 — 3,000 tickets at about $75 a pop. But the Chargers' cost wouldn't be nearly that high, because the club wouldn't actually “buy” the tickets. Instead, the Chargers would have to pay only the 34 percent of each ticket that goes into a pool the league later distributes equally to all teams (so they'd get back 1/32nd of the money).

Thirty-four percent of $225,000 is $76,500. But that doesn't factor in that some of those 3,000 extra fans would pay $25 to park, plus all of them would figure to spend at least $10 — and probably much more, given the prices — at the concession stands.

See, it's really not that outrageous, is it? Shoot, the Chargers could almost make a profit by doing this.

Sounds good to me and I would venture a guess that either the Chargers or Channel 8 will pick up the tab when the bell tolls tomorrow.

Hey I wish I were going...... but I was in Denver last week and have already been to one pre-season and two regular season home games. Balancing the budget to make it to another game this year will be difficult ( //hoping for playoffs) so It is my want that reason prevails and someone ponies up the $260 K to ensure that I can sit on my couch and see the 50 greatest Chargers honored this Sunday.

Make it happen, ye with deep pockets!

November 22nd, 2009: Slaying the Seahorse of Denver

Scoreboard + Strapping Seahorse Statue = Jocular Tourists

Uhhh.....so we're in this picture celebrating near the locker room tunnel at game's end. You see the "Send Fish Tacos" sign? Yea, we didn't make it.......

It was created by the Lucha Libre Charger fans. I'm pretty sure they were fun to party with but since I can't see their faces in this picture, I can't say for sure. However.....

.....I did scavenge their signage from outside the Mile High Station and then proceed to notify the Denver Sheraton that sustenance was needed.

A good time presented in photos.

On to Denver: music for behind enemy lines

A couple of songs immediately spring to mind for a trip to enemy country. If you can think of more give me a shout:

Ahhh, Metallica's One. "For democracy....any man would give his only begotten son." (good thing I'm traveling with my dad.....and I've got a brother)

...and back to the old standby.

Go Chargers.

Chargers Preview: Ed Hochuli Can't Save You Donkeys Now

On September 14th, 2008, after the Chargers defeat at Mile High, I knew that swift justice would be needed to right the pernicious officiating blunder that denied us a crucial road victory. As bad as the Chargers performed through the middle of the season though, it looked like our retribution would be stemmed until the 2009 season. But the Bolts of '08 rallied, the Broncos folded and justice in small measure had been served.

It is now 2009 and we are returning to Mile High with so much on the line. In our cross-hairs we can see outright control of the AFC West, the opportunity for additional confidence while playing on the road, but perhaps most importantly, a series split to neutralize season ending tie-break scenarios. With that said I still can't help but think that the November 22nd tilt at Mile High, for this fan, is a matter of avenging the wrongs wrought upon us by Arizona lawyer, Edward G. Hochuli. Excuse me Denver, but the Chargers are rolling and Ed can't save you now!

This preview will be unorthodox by nature. If you want statistics and trends you're coming to the wrong guy. My analysis is of the Stephen Colbert variety, which is to say that it comes straight from the gut. I go with what I feel, statistics be damned! Team match-ups and breakdowns? Nah! Last week revolved entirely around the notion that "Good Teams" win at home. The Chargers were at home so I didn't care that the opponent hailed from the mighty NFC East. The Chargers should have won that game and I didn't need offensive and defensive rankings to tell me why.

Here's what I'm lookin' at this Sunday:

Road Cookin'
The Broncos are returning home which tends to breed confidence, however there's a rub; you're only as good as your last game at home, and unfortunately for the Donks, it was a shellacking by the Steelers. Conversely, San Diego's last road game was a hard earned victory in the Eastern Time Zone. This fan scoffs at the idea that a mere 1 hour shift to the east could be any sort of obstacle. You want numbers? Here's what has happened the last few meetings in Denver: since 2006 the Chargers are 2-1 (3-0 if you discount the Hochuli Effect) and have scored over 35 points in all three contests. For the Chargers, fear does not exist in the Denver Dojo.

Charger Defense:
As of right now the jury is out on whether or not we'll see Orton or Simms. If Kyle Orton pulls a Willis Reed and carries his gimpy ass out there he'll need to feel fierce pressure. The sort of pressure that produces happy feet and makes him curse his ankle and the weather on every single down. Ron Rivera has been doing a nice job of blitzing from everywhere, including pressure from our safeties, so the Bolt D will need to continue this trend.

If Chris Simms is leading the charge it will be incumbant upon the Defense, to man up and stuff the run. Stack the box. With that gangly left arm, Chris Simms doesn't have the where with all to defeat a team down-field. He's a pump faking disaster whilst fumbling around the pocket. Get up in the box and stuff the run and then bring the house on the passing downs.

The Early Lead
The Chargers were successful for a multitude of reasons last Sunday none of which was more important than the early 14 point lead they staked their defense to. That lead forced the Eagles to panic and consequently stray from their running game. Norv needs to continue with the sort of innovative play calling that can produce quick early scores.

Red Zone Efficiency
The Eagles learned that while on the road you cannot let red zone opportunities end with FG attempts. In a difficult road test, the Chargers must heed this lesson and convert red zone trips into touchdowns. I like Nate Kaeding and all, but keep him off the field.

"Good teams" win at home. "Good teams" are capable of stealing wins on the road. "Good teams" don't get swept by division rivals. The Chargers, my friends, are a "Good team".

There will be no Salvation for the Broncos on this Charger visit......Ed Hochuli will be far from Denver.

Chargers 31 Broncos 17 (if Simms plays it'll be a hell of a lot worse)

Hate For The Humpday: Belichick Edition

This week's candidate for quantifiable mid-week hate is New England Patriots Head Cock In Charge, Bill Belichick.

The 4th and 2 play call from his own 28 yard line when he had the lead was ballsy and completely foolish. BB made this call with zero timeouts in his hip pocket, meaning he failed to properly manage the game down the stretch. Without a TO to spare he put his team in the unenviable position of hoping that they did not find themselves in need of a replay challenge......Bill, Bill, Bill, you were on the wrong side of the 2-minute warning!

I often lament the conservative nature that coaches take from week to week. The line between winning and losing in the NFL is so fine that coaches dare not take a chance lest it cost their teams a victory and ultimately their own employment. NFL coaches all too often appear fine with losing as long as they played it by the book and didn't take the sort of risk* that would warrant scorn from the punditry. Because I hate that conservative approach there is a small part of me that respects BB for doing something bold.....and I like the decision even more because it meant a loss for the New England Patriots. So if I'm happy because of BB's call then does that nullify the Hate for this Humpday? Hell no.....

Hate Bill Belichick for no other reason than his overwhelming hubris......HE WAS ON THE FUCKING 28 yard LINE! HIS OWN FUCKING 28 yard LINE! NOT THE COLTS 28 yard LINE! HIS OWN 28 yard line!

Hate him because he's a BOOB.....

* See: Couglin, Tom and Reid, Andy.

In the last two weeks against the Chargers these two coaches took ultra conservative positions when faced with going for it on 4th down inside the two or kicking the FG. THAT's WHEN YOU GO FOR IT. Neither coach went for it though. Both teams lost. Scorn from the punditry ensued.

2009 Bolts and Donks: Deja Vu All Over Again

Ordinarily I'd prefer to show a Charger-centric photo but this one said it all: Penalty Flag.

Editor's Note:
So I started this on Sunday and...... well.......it's late. Pizza always tastes good the next day, although this is two days late..... so if you get the "runs", we apologize.

Seriously? The Chargers have won their last four games and the Broncos have lost their last three. This phenomenon has positioned the Bolts to take sole possession of 1st place in the AFC West next Sunday at Mile High. Nice! Very Niiiiiiiiiice!!!

How sad for you. Hope you enjoyed the weather.

Quick notes regarding our beloved Lightening Bolt chuckers.

• The play calling from Norv was pretty dynamic when you subtract the two occasions where he tried to run the little fella on 3rd and short. Give it to LT.....or Tolbert.....or Hester...or even Manemalauna (did I spell that right?) in those situations. Just don't hand it to Sproles. He's small......seriously.....really small.
• Loved seeing Legedu in the Wildcat. One more wrinkle for teams to prepare for.
• LT got holes. LT got yards. Thus endeth the lesson.
• Addendum: offensive line created holes.
• Huge drive by Philip and the offense to eat up the clock and extend the lead to 8 points.
• "Good Teams" win at home. Perhaps we can now be discussed in that realm.
  

Negatives:

• Obviously seeing the offense give up 45o yards through the air hurts but while the D was bending all day it did not break. Red Zone defense yielded FGs not TDs.....and just like that I've turned the negative into a positive.
• Were we helped more by Philly shooting itself in the foot with penalties or by our performance? Eh...don't care.
  
• The Bud Light I was drinking was from the summer so it had exceeded its born-on date and just didn't taste that great. I instead had to enjoy the cool taste of Victory.
• We won and have a shot to take sole possession of first---there are no more negatives.

On to talk of the Denver Debacle:
We have a small contingent attending next week's game and it looked like it may be an uneventful trip around mid October but boy have the tides turned! They've turned so much so that Kyle Orton (injured on the play below) will more than likely be replaced by Chris Simms next Sunday. Chris Simms. Another resounding, SWEEEEEEEEEEET!

We're here to bring the funny and when we can't we look to Denver Broncos coach, Josh McDaniels to do it for us. Listen to the opening line of his post game press conference, after the Redskins game. Think he's got Bolts on the Brain? Thanks to Glorify the Past for the heads-up on this one.

Vencie Says: tellin' it the way it is, each and every week

Vencie Glenn on Philip Rivers' Awesomeness:
"Last week he took a game winning drive and went down and scored. This week he took the ball with 6 minutes and kept the other team from getting the ball back. That is a sign of a QB that is maturing and understands his role and where his team is."

On Next Week's Opponent, Bronco back-up QB Chris Simms, and his lack of Awesomeness:
"PR's gonna give you 28 every game. He gonna give you 28 every game. Simms will not get you 28. He won't even get you 14."

On Bill Belichick's gamble to go for it on 4th down, with a lead, on the Patriots' 30 yard line...against Peyton Manning:
"I just think you take yourself way too serious as a head coach. I just think that was a personal call, had nothing to do with your team trying to win the game, I think he wanted to prove a point, and it backfired and rightfully so it should have and he should be embarrassed."

Vencie Glenn spared Antonio Cromartie this week, but as always, he pulled no punches.

On Our Way To Denver, Where Everyone Must Feel Dead

The best Denver related song there is. How you feelin' Denver?

Defining Moments: Week 10, Chargers v Eagles

Last week the Chargers did what all "Good" teams must stand up and do from time to time: win a tough game on the road.

Regardless of the fact that the Giants were in a bit of a tailspin at the time it was still a great test because the Chargers' primary weakness (stopping the run) would be attacked by the Giants' strength (running the ball). OK so perhaps we were lucky that Coach Coughlin decided to abandon the run and let ShE-LI do the heavy lifting......who cares, the game was three time zones away and the Chargers' had a defining moment.

Today is the time for another defining moment. The Bolts' are home against another tough NFC East team and to keep pace with the foundering Denver Donkeys a victory is called for.

How good are the Eagles? I don't know, who does? They lost to the Raiders and destroyed the Giants so who can definitively say. Here's all we need to know: the Chargers are at home and they must do what all "Good" teams do.......WIN AT HOME. The Chargers are 2-2 at home and that is not the mark of a "Good" team but today they have the chance to prove themselves worthy of the pre-season hype. Defining moments.

I don't care who the opponent is today.
I don't care if PETA is protesting the return of Vick or if he's featured in a Wildcat set.
I don't care about Brian Westbrook's health.
I don't care about Andy Reid's game plan.
I don't care about ANYTHING.......
Except the fact that the Chargers are at HOME.

"Good" teams win at home. Are the Chargers good?

For more Bolt/Eagle previews:

Eagles-Chargers: Predictions, match-ups, and more [Philly.com]
Eagles-Chargers: What To Watch For [619Sports.net]

Acee Advance: Chargers versus Eagles

Hate For The Humpday: the guessing game

Hey, don't call us fruity for the screen scrape......these guys are the ones gettin' cozy!

Guess the object of hate: [click]

Charger Fan In Donkey Land: Week 9 Giants

Week Nine in the Chargers' season took us cross country to meet our rival, the New Your football Giants. Well, they're not really our rival, however we will always have an association with them as long as Rivers and Manning are at their respective helms......you know this because you all heard it over.... and over.... and over.... and over....... this past week.

(Time to Digress)
Not to bore anyone, but I have to make one last comment on this topic before I move on. EARTH TO THE MANNINGS! You are NOT bigger then the game and you do NOT have the right to act as though you are bigger than the Game, stating that you will not play for a certain team, specifically our BOLTS.

"wonk, wonk,wonk"

BUT THANK ALL THAT IS HOLY THAT HE WAS GIVEN THE RIGHT TO DO IT BACK ON DRAFT DAY; NEVER WANTED YOU! Henceforth, you will experience a RIVERS running through your defense, each time our teams meet. Get used to it!

So we looked to last week as a true test against a reasonable opponent, even with them coming off a 3 game losing streak. They talked it up in NY stating it was a must win and the game would take on a playoff atmosphere. Well we look at every game as an opportunity to get another win and we feel confident going up against anyone.

We didn't look unstoppable by any means, but good teams find ways to win week in and week out. No one ever said that had to be pretty, but that last drive in the 4th sure was pretty if you ask this Bolt fan.

A few less dropped passes and this game isn't even close. We released Chambers, but apparently he shook hands with Gatesy and Malcom Floyd, unexpectedly passing on the butterfingers. Glad that is out of our system.......(it is isn't it?)

The play that has to stand out in your mind was when there was an injury timeout and the camera angle panned over to LT, Rivers and Norv talking on the sideline and LT appeared to suggest a play. That play was the next one called and it wasn't for him; it instead went to .43 cent running out of the back field in man to man coverage and getting open for a 25 yrd gain. Nice call LT ; and even better execution by Rivers and .43 cent. However, the biggest shout out has to go to Norv for taking advice and trusting his players and letting them make that call.

Games like these build the character needed for teams moving into the second half of the season. Knowing that your 2 minute drill is capable and knowing that we have shown how we can utilize our weapons to move down the field with the game on the line breeds confidence.

I must say it was hard not to wipe the smile off my face seeing the defensive side of the ball begin to show itself. Seeing the ol' Lights Out dance was nice, not once but twice on Sunday. Weddle also had a good game. I liked seeing the defense show some desire and get to the quarterback with our blitz packages.

They may be baby steps but they're just what the team needs to build confidence, and attitude.

We have another good opponent, in the Iggles, coming to Jack Murphy Field on Sunday. Our House, which we must protect by any means necessary. It is important we get this victory against the Iggles this week and continue the attack all teams that step before us.

They say it is a game of inches and that is exactly what we are away from the lead in the AFC WEST.

Lets get these Iggles, continue on our way, and destroy all who stand in our way. That's how this Charger fan abroad sees it.

Charger Fan In Donkey Land
BOLT PRIDE

Was last night's game in Denburgh?

I hope when our war party of Avengers attend the Chargers game in Denver on November 22nd we're as cozy as these Steeler fans. Look at how many Steeler fans made it to Mile High.

Denver Post columnist, Woody Paige, had some choice words for Bronco season ticket holders in today's column, Paige: Whose stadium is this anyway?:

The 20,000 season-ticket holders who sold their seats — in every section, on every level — to the Steelers' true loyalists should be ashamed. That wasn't a home game for the Broncos. It was a neutralized site.

With 2 1/2 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, the stadium had been emptied out — of orange pompom party poopers. All who remained were Women & Men In Black waving the Terrible Towels in victory.

Sick effort, Denver. If you don't want your tickets, at least scalp them to people who bleed orange, blue, mustard and brown.

I agree Woodrow! Pathetic display! Firstly, why wouldn't you want to see your 1st place team play against the defending champs? Secondly, this game was as important as they come; the Bolts are on a three game winning streak! Hey Woody, what have the Broncos done while the Bolts have climbed their way back into the AFC West race:

The Broncos are 6-2 at the midway juncture of the season but should have a better-feeling texture, because few outside or, even, inside the locker room believed the Broncos would be so lofty on Nov. 9. But the performances in Baltimore and at home (home?) this month have been more septic tank than antiseptic salve.

The Broncos have been outscored 58-17 and have permitted the Chargers to get back in the race.

Just as alarming, the Broncos have not scored in five of their past eight quarters; they have yet to score a touchdown on their first possession this season (but did burp a field goal after the opening kickoff against Pittsburgh); and the only touchdown scored on Monday night was not by the offense, but on a scoop-and- score fumble return.

One offensive touchdown in two games! That efficient offense managed by Orton has become ineffective and unmanageable. New school has become old-fashioned.

That's right the Chargers are back in the race. Now we just need to turn the city of Denver into Jack Murphy Field at Mile High. Get yourselves to Denver Bolt Backers! Woody, you go film another segment of ESPN's Around the Horn.

Oh, Woody Paige....seriously, have you ever watched this show? Train-wreck-ish.

Eric Weddle and the #ELISUCKS Phenomenon

On Sunday the Twitterverse was teeming with Charger Fans attaching the tag, #ELISUCKS, to any and every statement about the Bolts/Giants clash. It was quite gratifying to see so many Bolt Backers bringing a level of fan hatred that is all too frequently missing in America's Finest City. Hate is a fundamental component of following sports so if yo' soul is lacking in vitriol......YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

Having said that, this Twit's favorite Tweet was sans an #ELISUCKS tag.....

"Who's the Boss? Eric Weddle!"
See that Tweet was hilarious because the Chargers were playing in New York and that's where Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano of the '80s hit sitcom, Who's the Boss, were from. Alright.....that's false and more of an excuse to insert gratuitous YouTube footage.......

For those lacking a keen eye (see: employees of ESPN, specifically Keyshawn Johnson) the player that Eric Weddle disintegrated upon impact was Giants TE Kevin Boss hence the extremely clever play on words revolving around a teenage crush on an 80s sitcom star*. BOOM......he's on his back!**

* Didn't everyone have a crush on Alyssa Milano? Did you know she's a Dodger fan and a serial Tweeter?
** Man am I avoiding any sort of serious analysis regarding Sunday's game. I'll leave it to the Charger Fan in Donkey Land.