Pardon me..... can I help you up ?

Now for a look at Linebackers.

That is #57, Matt Wilhelm of "Thee Ohio State University". He may have been the primary tackler on this play but there is only one thing we can be absolutely sure about....he's preparing to help the fallen Steeler off of the deck.

I wanna hold your hand...

We don't have the stat sheet in front of us to confirm Wilhelm's number of tackles from Sunday but we do know that he led all players in "lending a helping hand to fallen Steelers", "congratulatory slaps on the ass of the opposition", and the only "I can't wait to tell you how awesome that punt return was for a touchdown my fellow Thee Ohio State University Alumnus Santonio Holmes"....a real mouthful to be sure. It is true that Matt Wilhelm is a good sport and a nice post game interview . What Matt Wilhelm is not is an NFL Linebacker.

When you are slow and players run past you........ when you lack quickness and players sidestep you....... when you attempt to tackle players you miss entirely or they bounce off of you...... when you make an "excellent" tackle it really means that the player ran over you and you held on.....when you NEVER drive a player backwards in the tackle...... then there is a huge problem. That huge problem is that YOU ARE NOT AN NFL LINEBACKER!

Now what has been described in the previous paragraph at length is what would be a part of an NFL linebacker's skill set. There are certain physical attributes that a LB must be in possession of. Absent these skills, said linebacker must use other means at his disposal .....means that might be considered, suspect, marginal, lacking in moral fiber or dare we be blunt and say dirty! We advocate wholeheartedly, a Machiavellian approach, for any defensive player who is trying to achieve his ends. The role of the less physically gifted player is to try and hang around the League by any means necessary (see Malcolm X).....

The "means" I spoke of in The Prince, my seminal treatise on maintaining power, focused extensively on groin strikes.

..... the means to achieving a Linebackers' ends includes, but is not limited to: scratching, biting, kicking....eye gouging and fish hooking....groin striking.... head slaps, clips, horse collars and face masks....and one of our favorites: spitting in the face of the opposition thus incurring un-sportsman like penalties, and $7,500 fines but infuriating the spat on player none the less...

The Original "Romo" versus J.J. Stokes out of Point Loma HS

(a little exaggerated but the player we were thinking of when discussing white linebackers who get under your skin....Romo...the original Romo!) Wilhelm's only shot in lieu of his deficiencies is to be THAT guy who you hate to play because he gets in your head. Alas, Matt Wilhelm does not have it in him...he is a nice guy. After all, we did see him on One-on-One with Jane Mitchell.

Man I feel like a dick for saying all of the above...

This is a sentiment that we tried to convey on a call in to Scott and BR this last Monday morning but as a first time caller we quite emphatically "shit the bed". It came out something like, "Wilhelm...ahhh...helpin' every one up...errrrr...skill set....groin strikes....ahhh....errr!". So we felt that we needed to qualify our remarks in a more civil and articulate manner....if civility is at all possible when discussing dirty play and the art of the groin strike.

In Summation:

• Wilhelm must go.

• Stephen Cooper was a leader and pretty solid when he wasn't flexing his biceps at the Dolphins sidelines during game losing drives.... or missing 4 games due to illegal vitamin suspensions.

• Jyles Tucker signed a long term contract... but did he do anything this year?

• Tim Dobbins....physical but probably not more than a backup.

• Anthony Waters....reportedly a beast....couldn't work past Wilhelm? Where is he?
  

• Shawn Phillips.... seemed to miss his partner.

• Shawne Merriman.... we miss you. Thank you for remaining committed to the team even though you were on IR...Soul of the Charger Defense.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions.