Deciphering a Jed Hoyer catch phrase with Darren Smith

Jed Hoyer returned to San Diego this week with his struggling Chicago Cubs, losers of five straight. At the conclusion of their series with the Padres the streak would stand at eight. During the middle of the debacle Hoyer took time to speak with Darren Smith of XX1090.

I always enjoyed the weekly spots Jed Hoyer did with Darren during his tenure as GM of the Padres but I think I enjoy his occasional visits as Cubs GM even more. Jed's aware that he needs to be careful with what he says to the press yet he always produces intelligent responses despite the inner workings of the clouded human mind. As I noted back in January, what Jed says doesn't always jibe with what Jed thinks.

One of the things you'll notice is that when being interviewed By Darren Smith, Jed Hoyer will often say,

"That's a great question."

Hey,  Darren asks great questions. He's a professional. But Hoyer's catch phrase is more about buying himself time than it is about complimenting Mr. Smith. The phrase gives him just enough time to provide a nuanced answer.

Here's what was going through Jed Hoyer's mind on Tuesday as he said, "That's a great question."


Darren's Question: 

"Do you get the sense that Cubs fans feel like they expect their team to lose or do they expect their team to win"

Jed's Catch Phrase: 

"That's a great question."

Jed's Stream of Consciouness:

Steady, steady. Play this one right. Hope Solo said all the wrong things during the Olympics and she was crucified for it. Brandi Chastain's sport-bra. 1999 World Cup. Soccer's a great sport. I enjoy swimming. Call Me Maybe. Deep Dish pizza is not good. Don't say that! Ramble on this one, ramble. The internet is world wide. Chicagoans will hear this in Illinois. They'll hear it in SD. This park was full of Cubs fans during the last home series of 2010. Italian beef sandwiches. Distract. Misinformation. Tie it to the Red Sox.

Jed's Answer:

"[blah, blah, blah, bunch of comparisons to the Red Sox and growing up in New England, blah, blah, blah]... In Chicago there's been long stretches of not being good. People say, 'You don't understand, it can't be done.' I think for us it fuels the fire. Of course it can be done. We're gonna build this thing the right way. We're gonna build a team that sustains success. The Cubs have made the playoffs six times since 1945. You think about it, that's once every 13 years.

AJM's Grade:

 Excellent job filibustering by the Cubs GM. When ever you can tie an answer like this to the Red Sox and their historical woes you're bound to make tough luck Cubbie fans feel a sense of hope. Speaking of Hope. Not mentioning her stripping down to her sports bra, a la Brandi Chastain,  in the event of a U.S. gold medal was also probably wise.

***

Darren's Question: 

"Do you think he'd [Anthony Rizzo] have that kind of success if he were still playing here?"

Jed's Catch Phrase: 

"That's a great question."

Jed's Stream of Consciousness:

F*ck. No, mind. Do not censor your/mine/our thoughts. Say it. F*ck! Why does my mind keep doing that? I have free will. Hope Solo's sports bra. Be careful. Don't diminish Anthony Solo's accomplishments thus far. Rizzo. Rizzo. Rizzo. Frank Rizzo. Should I bring my f*ckin tools? More censorship. Chick-fil-A. Chick. Hope Solo. Undergarments. Stop. Anthony Rizzo is a winner. Things are going to go his way. Ah, Beck's "Loser". I loved 1993. Hope Solo. Anthony Rizzo. Use the psychology aspect.

Jed's Answer: 

"I think change of scenery can be a powerful thing. I certainly do think there is a PETCO effect that can get in guys heads. He's hit a lot of homers on the road. He's hit a lot of ball really hard. But you know, maybe of his nine homers three or four don't go out here. And I think that does get in your head."

AJM's Grade:

Good save by Jed. With everything that appeared to be clouding his mind just about anything could have spilled out of his mouth. Another wise move not working Hope Solo into this answer. With a bigger press corps in Chicago it would only lead to questions of competency. A very measured response. A response that gives the appearance that at the very least Anthony Rizzo will continue to have moderate success at the big league level.

The mind is an amazing thing. What we think and when we think it -- it's a wonder we ever even produce a cogent thought to be expressed orally.

In addition to the comedic effect and the allusions to a half-naked Hope Solo victory celebration this was a great interview. Later in the interview, Jed Hoyer gave insights into the change of ownership and why Ron Fowler's involvement is a good thing. Check it out.

Andrew Cashner: A Trip In The Way-Back Machine

You need to feel better and I am here to help the cause. I'm fine. But it's you that requires comfort.

You are uneasy. Your dis-ease stems from the Padres decision to trade Anthony Rizzo, one of the system's top prospects for what amounts to a late inning reliever with shoulder issues and a light hitting elf from South Korea.

You are hurting and in need of reassurance. Fortunately for you, I can help. Climb aboard and take a little ride in my Baseball America 2009 Prospect Handbook . . .



It's February 24th, 2009. President Obama, focusing on the economy,  has just addressed a joint session of Congress and Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail is number 1 at the box-office. This day in history could have killed lesser people but not us --  Baseball America has just released their 2009 Prospect Handbook. It was costly, no doubt. But three years later it's still here providing us with much needed reassurance.

I direct you to page 83 where you find a former Tight End from the University of Notre Dame named Jeff Samardzia. He is the number 2 prospect in the Chicago Cubs system. You are mesmerized by his mullet and horribly distracted by the spelling of his surname but you are not deterred. Your eyes drift one slot south where you find a write-up by BA's Jim Callis. The player -- number 3 prospect Andrew Cashner.

Callis describes to you everything you wish to hear. How Cashner regularly hit 96-98 mph at Texas Christian University, pairing it with an electric curveball. And he has a change-up. His North Side employers believe in this third pitch, so much so, that their heights are set on a spot in the rotation for young Andrew Cashner.

Then Callis gives you your Holy Grail:

Cashner has the raw ability to pitch in the front half of a big league rotation . . .

You quickly do the computation in your head, knowing that this is not Japan but instead Major League Baseball where a 5 man rotation is in use. Your math tells you that the front half equals -- a #1 or a #2!

You are ecstatic.

Suddenly the Anthony Rizzo/Zach Cates for Andrew Cashner/ Light Hitting Elf from South Korea doesn't sound bad at all.

You forget about the slight strain Cashner suffered in his shoulder last year and February 24th, 2009 becomes your accepted reality. You decide to stay*.

Doesn't it all feel better now?

* As you wait in line at the cinema you find that "Madea Goes to Jail" has sold out. Disappointed, you think about returning home but it is President Obama's economic address that begins to resonate with your inner-American. You purchase tickets to "He's Just Not That Into You". It was a good day.