Cuckoo for Nick Canepa: Assumptions and false narratives

This morning MLB owners approved the Padres sale from John Moores to the O'Malley/Fowler/Mickelson group. Last evening Nick Canepa wrote a column called, Padres appear headed in right direction. It made me say, "Cuckoo." . . .

For the most part the column wasn't bad. Canepa advocated retaining CEO and President, Tom Garfinkel, with which I wholeheartedly agree (I'll say something about the Garfinkel Situation later). Canepa also said other stuff. I hate to nitpick but I come undone when I read confounding ideas, and all it takes is one. To wit:

Byrnes reminds me a bit of former GM Kevin Towers. After former boss Jeff Moorad fired Towers, I wrote Moorad’s first major decision would be the worst he would make as an owner. I wasn’t wrong. Moores, who still had controlling interest in the team, shouldn’t have allowed it to happen.

Oh yes Nick, I remember. I believe it was October of 2011 when you last referenced this sentiment and I skewered your column for it.

But there wasn't just one confounding idea. There were at least two! Canepa would go on to write his next puzzling tidbit in the subsequent paragraph:

But that’s baseball. Towers is doing fine in Arizona. And, after making the decision to replace KT with Jed Hoyer — another mistake, not because Hoyer was ill-equipped, just a bad fit here — Moorad made it right in naming Byrnes GM after Hoyer bailed to take on the unenviable (but more lucrative) task of trying to put the Cubs back together again.  

Cuckoo. I'm going to try and work this one out. Here it goes . . .

Jed Hoyer was not ill-equipped to take a job as GM of the Padres. This means that he was equipped to take a job as GM of the Padres. Yet another way to say it would be to write that he was qualified, prepared or ready.

So if Jed Hoyer was qualified for the job of general manager then why on earth was he a bad fit in San Diego?

I'm relying on a thesaurus now.

If you are fit then one could say that you are competent. Or, qualified. Or, prepared. Or even, ready.

But if you are a bad fit then you are the opposite of fit, which means you are incapable. At least that's what the thesaurus says: Incapable is the antonym for fit. And since Jed Hoyer was a bad fit in San Diego I am left to assume that Nick Canepa believes that Jed was simultaneously incapable and qualified. 'Tis a conundrum we have here.

The reader is left to assume what Nick Canepa is talking about. Since I am someone who is dialed in to the local baseball scene I am going to make an assumption which may be totally off-base.

I think Canepa is trying to convey that while Jed Hoyer was qualified and ready to become a GM in major league baseball he was not suited for the job in San Diego. Jed came from large market Boston where the pockets were deep and perhaps Canepa feels that he didn't have the proper mindset to operate on a shoestring budget in small market San Diego. Does that sound reasonable?

It doesn't sound reasonable when you consider that Jed Hoyer focused heavily on the draft (a place where small market teams can exploit available talent at relatively modest cost) and also emphasized building a club that could use PETCO Park to its advantage. Using PETCO to its advantage means building a strong rotation and bullpen along with defense and speed which are all relatively inexpensive attributes when juxtaposed with free-agent power hitters. It kind of sounds like Jed Hoyer understood what it meant to build a club in small market San Diego and maybe he was . . . a good fit?

This isn't a defense of Jed Hoyer. He's gone. Whatever.

I wrote this because Nick Canepa makes no sense. When I write things I always re-read them to see if it makes sense. Sometimes my ideas are not coherent. So I go back and fix what I wrote. Sometimes it still doesn't make sense and I say, "Too bad, you're reading this for free!"

I tried to figure out what Nick said. I offered an idea. And then I debunked myself and quite possibly Nick. I'm pretty sure it's what Nick Canepa meant and all I can think is: He sure displays an amazing commitment to a false narrative.

Where art thou, Tim Sullivan?

Deciphering a Jed Hoyer catch phrase with Darren Smith

Jed Hoyer returned to San Diego this week with his struggling Chicago Cubs, losers of five straight. At the conclusion of their series with the Padres the streak would stand at eight. During the middle of the debacle Hoyer took time to speak with Darren Smith of XX1090.

I always enjoyed the weekly spots Jed Hoyer did with Darren during his tenure as GM of the Padres but I think I enjoy his occasional visits as Cubs GM even more. Jed's aware that he needs to be careful with what he says to the press yet he always produces intelligent responses despite the inner workings of the clouded human mind. As I noted back in January, what Jed says doesn't always jibe with what Jed thinks.

One of the things you'll notice is that when being interviewed By Darren Smith, Jed Hoyer will often say,

"That's a great question."

Hey,  Darren asks great questions. He's a professional. But Hoyer's catch phrase is more about buying himself time than it is about complimenting Mr. Smith. The phrase gives him just enough time to provide a nuanced answer.

Here's what was going through Jed Hoyer's mind on Tuesday as he said, "That's a great question."


Darren's Question: 

"Do you get the sense that Cubs fans feel like they expect their team to lose or do they expect their team to win"

Jed's Catch Phrase: 

"That's a great question."

Jed's Stream of Consciouness:

Steady, steady. Play this one right. Hope Solo said all the wrong things during the Olympics and she was crucified for it. Brandi Chastain's sport-bra. 1999 World Cup. Soccer's a great sport. I enjoy swimming. Call Me Maybe. Deep Dish pizza is not good. Don't say that! Ramble on this one, ramble. The internet is world wide. Chicagoans will hear this in Illinois. They'll hear it in SD. This park was full of Cubs fans during the last home series of 2010. Italian beef sandwiches. Distract. Misinformation. Tie it to the Red Sox.

Jed's Answer:

"[blah, blah, blah, bunch of comparisons to the Red Sox and growing up in New England, blah, blah, blah]... In Chicago there's been long stretches of not being good. People say, 'You don't understand, it can't be done.' I think for us it fuels the fire. Of course it can be done. We're gonna build this thing the right way. We're gonna build a team that sustains success. The Cubs have made the playoffs six times since 1945. You think about it, that's once every 13 years.

AJM's Grade:

 Excellent job filibustering by the Cubs GM. When ever you can tie an answer like this to the Red Sox and their historical woes you're bound to make tough luck Cubbie fans feel a sense of hope. Speaking of Hope. Not mentioning her stripping down to her sports bra, a la Brandi Chastain,  in the event of a U.S. gold medal was also probably wise.

***

Darren's Question: 

"Do you think he'd [Anthony Rizzo] have that kind of success if he were still playing here?"

Jed's Catch Phrase: 

"That's a great question."

Jed's Stream of Consciousness:

F*ck. No, mind. Do not censor your/mine/our thoughts. Say it. F*ck! Why does my mind keep doing that? I have free will. Hope Solo's sports bra. Be careful. Don't diminish Anthony Solo's accomplishments thus far. Rizzo. Rizzo. Rizzo. Frank Rizzo. Should I bring my f*ckin tools? More censorship. Chick-fil-A. Chick. Hope Solo. Undergarments. Stop. Anthony Rizzo is a winner. Things are going to go his way. Ah, Beck's "Loser". I loved 1993. Hope Solo. Anthony Rizzo. Use the psychology aspect.

Jed's Answer: 

"I think change of scenery can be a powerful thing. I certainly do think there is a PETCO effect that can get in guys heads. He's hit a lot of homers on the road. He's hit a lot of ball really hard. But you know, maybe of his nine homers three or four don't go out here. And I think that does get in your head."

AJM's Grade:

Good save by Jed. With everything that appeared to be clouding his mind just about anything could have spilled out of his mouth. Another wise move not working Hope Solo into this answer. With a bigger press corps in Chicago it would only lead to questions of competency. A very measured response. A response that gives the appearance that at the very least Anthony Rizzo will continue to have moderate success at the big league level.

The mind is an amazing thing. What we think and when we think it -- it's a wonder we ever even produce a cogent thought to be expressed orally.

In addition to the comedic effect and the allusions to a half-naked Hope Solo victory celebration this was a great interview. Later in the interview, Jed Hoyer gave insights into the change of ownership and why Ron Fowler's involvement is a good thing. Check it out.

Deciphering a Jed Hoyer and Darren Smith Conversation

Yesterday Darren Smith invited Jed Hoyer to appear on XX1090 to discuss an array of topics. As I listened to the former Padres GM answer Darren's questions a concurrent dialogue played in my mind. This dialogue consisted of what Jed Hoyer was really thinking as he presented politically correct answers to his interviewer.

Jed's approach, of playing things close to the vest, makes sense. Conveying the wrong ideas can only serve to damage future negotiations.

Fortunately for you, I know what he really meant . . .


The first 4 minutes dealt with Chicago winters versus that of San Diego. This introduction was rife with fascinating psychological undertones, but in the interest of keeping things brief, we'll move it along.

[The Move to Chicago]

"It's a fairly easy transition here with Theo and Jason."
We were on a float yesterday afternoon singing Wayne Newton's version of Danke Schoen. It was sweet. I hate Josh Byrnes.

[The Andrew Cashner for Anthony Rizzo Trade]

"Cashner is a really good young pitcher. We think he has a chance to be a dominant relief pitcher."
Please! I invented the ol', "I'll give you a reliever for an everyday player every day of the week and twice on Sundays" trade last year when we got Cameron Maybin. Did Josh Byrnes learn nothing in his time under me?

"I know Anthony struggled last year in his brief call-up but lots of players have struggled in the beginning of their career."
Just look at Kevin Kouzmanoff. In 2007 the guy hit like .081 over two months before he turned it on and look at where he is now. And . . . Brad Hawpe and Jorge Cantu can eat a bag of d*cks.

"The Padres got a really good player [Cashner] as well."
When Cameron Maybin arrived in San Diego I'm pretty sure I said the same thing about outgoing Ryan Webb. And I just laughed about Edward Mujica. If I was in studio I'd throw the mic down and walk out!

"I kind of blame myself. He [Rizzo] got rushed, um. The plan all along last year was to let him play in triple A all year. Be a September call-up and maybe be ready for the beginning of 2012."
I am the fall guy for Motherfu*king Brad Hawpe! G*d DAMN Jorge Cantu! Seriously, bag of d*cks for those two! And Anthony Rizzo completes me.

"We weren't getting any production out of first base."
You're killing me Darren. I can no longer bear to talk about Motherf*cking Brad Hawpe! G*d DAMN Jorge Cantu. Wait. Should I be thanking those two? They did allow me to pick-up Rizzo at a substantial discount. Hey! Brad and Jorge!


[What did the Padres get in Andrew Cashner?]

"They got a great arm. He's got a great pitcher's frame. He's got a great arm. I think the debate around him surrounds what role."
If I say that he's got a great arm one more time, San Diego will be on to me. Play it cool, Jed. Play it cool. Popsicle. Popsicle. Now change the subject.

"The determination here was that he's probably a dominant late inning reliever."
He's like a rich man's Edward Mujica. Or a poor man's Mike Adams. Stop it , Jed. Play it cool. You're f*cking Fonzie. Be cool.

"There was obviously some question marks about his ability to start."
Did I say question marks? I meant exclamation points! God it's cold in Chicago.

[Carlos Zambrano to the Marlins]

"Sending Carlos Zambrano to Miami was something we thought was the right thing to do."
I dupe the franchise stationed in Miami. It's. What. I. Do. I need a mic, cuz I gots to throw it down! Lake Michigan has a beach. That people actually go to. Just not now. Weird.

"He's just apologized to his teammates one too many times. He'd worn out his welcome."
Carlos Zambrano is a fat idiot. Relatively speaking, Mexican food in Chicago is substandard. I miss long walks to Lolita's taco shop.

[On the Padres off-season]

"Mat Latos is immensely talented and it's hard to give up a guy with four years of control like that."
I Look forward to him throwing a ball through the sunroof of my car. Wait do I even need a car? Chicago has great public transportation. Josh Byrnes has my old office; dick.

"Candidly I was a little bit jealous when they acquired Quentin because I think there was a little extra money in the budget that I didn't have when I was there."
Josh Byrnes. Dick! Jeff Moorad. Cheapskate! I'd complain about Ryan Ludwick but who cares? Who's the GM of the Cubs now? I got my dream job. Theo completes me. Deep dish pizza puzzles me. It's heavy. I'm not ready to go back to Gino's East.

[On Broncos versus Patriots this weekend]

"Tell Marty I'll take a picture of myself Tebowing in Wrigley Field if the Patriots don't win that game."
This is Chicago where a World Series hasn't been won by the Cubs since 1908. We don't believe in God here. Patriots in a blowout!

I'm Lost: A Question For Those On The Beat, Media Types, And Padres Fans

We have been told that the only reason Jed Hoyer was even allowed to discuss employment with Theo Epstein and the Chicago Cubs is because Jeff Moorad felt that he had a suitable replacement within the organization (Josh Byrnes). Without the presence of Byrnes the request is denied, a non-starter as they say.

But what about Assistant GM, Jason McLeod? There was nobody in house to replace him as the Padres looked outside of the organization to hire Chad McDonald. Why was this allowed to happen?

Without the presence of Jason McLeod the Padres farm system doesn't look nearly as good as it does right now, so it seems like a legitimate question. I've searched but found nothing.

It's almost as though Jason McLeod is still fulfilling a term of indentured servitude (2 years served of 7) and Jeff Moorad was forced to let him go to Chicago on account of him being Jed's property.

Anyone know the answer? Has the question been asked but I'm a bit too deaf, a little too blind?

LeBronification, Jed Hoyer . . . and oatmeal

I've been eating oatmeal everyday for the last month. It provides a solid start to my day. And that is important in so many ways.

But it was a few days ago that I ate my oatmeal and knew that something was amiss. Could oatmeal possibly go bad? It didn't taste bad, just not right. So I picked up the box and sure enough, there was an expiration date, which had long since passed.

The following post is like that box of oatmeal. The content (Jed Hoyer commentary) will not be too bad but it is most assuredly old. But it will be good for me to write it just as the oatmeal is good for me to eat.

Eat at your own discretion...

Jed Hoyer has left the Padres for a 2011-2012 reunion with Theo Epstein and been replaced with Josh Byrnes. Joing Hoyer in Chicago is Jason McLeod, the architect of a surging Padres farm system. Presumably McLeod's skill set is to be replaced by AJ Hinch. OK.

LeBronification?

When I was a youngster I loved Michael Jordan. I saw him play in person and always if on TV. I admired his greatness. He was great because of what he could do with a basketball but he was even greater because he could win; the greatest achievement one can have in sport. I admired Michael Jordan for staying in Chicago and persevering. He played on some teams that looked like they may never be able to punch through and call themselves champions. The Celtics and Pistons always in their way. But the Bulls persevered and were rewarded for doing so.

We don't see players wait it out so much these days, like Jordan did. Do players jump ship for greener pastures? Sure they do. But the pastures aren't just more green with money. I believe that some jump ship for easier pastures. Rather than battle for championships, players attempt to jump to a team that they feel is closer to achieving the goal. Under these conditions the toil is far less.

This scenario is best personified by LeBron James. LeBron was so close to winning a championship in Cleveland and erasing Cavalier sins of the past but instead he left... for a dream team scenario. Lebron stood up and essentially said, "I'm not good enough to carry the Cavaliers to a Championship. I'm going to Miami." Perhaps the candor was admirable through the eyes of some.

Somewhere in the middle of that fictitious quote lies the truth. But to me it merely created a name for a phenomenon that I really don't care for all too much. Jumping ship for easier pastures shall forever be called LeBronification.

Jed Hoyer and LeBronification

On the surface it seems as though Jed Hoyer felt he needed Theo Epstein and the Cubs. He didn't like the reality, that as a GM in San Diego, it would always be an up hill battle. So he took an opportunity to get the band back together . . . because that's what you do when you don't think you can do it on your own. Ask Blink 182 how that works.

Is this fair analysis? Not at all. It's not even intelligent analysis, really. But let's ignore Blink 182 for a minute and continue with Jed Hoyer....

I can't help but jump to the the conclusion I always jump to when I see guys try to plant themselves in situations that are "easier" in terms of available resources. So it is with that conclusion that I ultimately arrive at with Jed Hoyer. He wasn't confident in his abilities to achieve in San Diego.

The truth is . . . we'll never know the truth. I'm actually inclined to believe that Hoyer would have stayed had Jeff Moorad showed him some good faith. Jeff Moorad's decision not to give a contract extension and to allow him to negotiate with the Cubs was a tacit endorsement for Josh Byrnes who was already in house. And so Jed moved on.

People are rarely forthcoming about such details though, and I am left to interpret situations as I see them unfold. Part of me says that Jed Hoyer is guilty of LeBronification while the other part . . . the greater one, says . . . thank you for your two years in San Diego and putting the Padres on the right track.

Giving Nick Canepa The FJMing He Deserves

Fire Joe Morgan, the great website that moved onto a better, media-free world in late 2008, was the preeminent place for sports media criticism. Thus, to receive an FJMing, signifies a public demand for blood (or plasma if you would prefer) because a member of the media either mailed it in or failed at their most important task; making sense.

Which brings me to Saturday's column by Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union Tribune. I don't always agree with Nick Canepa. I'm speaking in code: what I mean to say is, I rarely ever agree with the man. But his article yesterday was on another level of "me-no-makey-sense". Let's explore.

Sez Me …

And here we go. Is there anything more tired than "Sez Me"? It's like always talking about Sculpin IPA or misspelling Will Venable's name.

In was in early October, 2009, that Padres boss Jeff Moorad fired General Manager Kevin Towers, and I wrote he’d just made the first major blunder of his captaincy.

Totally stupid blunder. Kevin Towers had only been here for 15 years. So dumb. It was like divorcing your wife after being married for 30 years and forfeiting nearly everything you own. Wait... someone did do that... we refer to him in these parts as, "The Guy Who Hired Kevin Towers In 1995". We're creative with our names around here.

For what money I have, Towers is the best GM in baseball, as he once again proved when he turned around woeful Arizona in a Phoenix minute (slower than New York’s, but fast enough).

Best GM in baseball based on having little money? I don't know what kind of money Nick Canepa has in his bank account but based on this being a Padres article I'm guessing it's nothing. I'm confused. Are there not better GMs than the guy who acquired Randy Meyers in 1998? And are we really assigning all of the credit in Arizona to Kevin Towers? People also wanted to give Towers the credit when Jed Hoyer was doing his part here in 2010. That Kevin Towers is clearly a God.

Moorad’s second blunder, obviously, was hiring Jed Hoyer as Towers’ replacement.

It would have been better to leave the position of GM vacant. Or bring back Joe McIlvaine.

Not that there was anything terribly wrong with Jed. Except that, coming here from snooty Boston, he obviously preferred big bowls of chowder to fish tacos. 

 Is this a small fish in a big bowl of chowder analogy? Or are we starting to equate snobbery with those who revel in soup?

So after two seasons he’s taken the first plane out of town to join fellow Red Sox brat packer Theo Epstein, who’s been given run of the dilapidated — but wealthy — Cubs.

Finally! A pop-culture reference! I loved Breakfast Club. And it was filmed in Chicago. Nick Canepa is owning us right now. OWNING. US.

Despite looking like a kid about to buy a prom night corsage, Hoyer seemed to know what he was doing. 

Wait. He looked like he knew what he was doing yet the hire was a blunder? Canepa is running circles around us. RUNNING. CIRCLES. AROUND. US. (My prom sucked. Canepa is mind-f*cking me right now.)

Like his predecessor, Hoyer was hamstrung by the Padres’ tight wallet. Unlike Towers, he chose not to stick around to see if he could handle the challenge and finish the work.

Towers stuck around for a reason. He wasn't fired sooner. You see, when a market is small, there is little chance of success unless the farm system is loaded. Towers failed to load the farm. Yet he kept his job. It's mysterious.

At least Epstein saw things through in Boston. Hoyer didn’t come close here.

Actually, in Theo Epstein's second year at the helm in Boston a World Series was claimed. And then Epstein quit after year three. Why? Because he wanted a contract extension. Just like Jed Hoyer.

Towers may not have drafted well — something I never will fully comprehend — but he had the great ability to fleece people in trades (the David Freese–for-Jim Edmonds deal was not one of them, but nobody’s perfect), and he got the club into the playoffs and World Series on a handmaiden’s budget.

CANEPA. IS. CORRECT. Towers was terrible in the draft! It's why the Padres haven't had a more sustained run of success.

But I must take umbrage with the crazy talk about getting the Padres to the World Series on a handmaiden's budget. Firstly because, I have no idea about the earning power of a handmaiden. Secondly, because the internet exists. The internet tells me that the Padres had the 9th highest payroll in 1998 and the disparity between 1st and 9th was a paltry $19 million.

And speaking of fleece(ing) I have two things to say: it's a comfortable product and also what Jed Hoyer did to the Florida Marlins. Hello Cameron Maybin. Goodbye fungible relief pitchers. (YES! I finally used the word fungible in a sentence.)

And no GM — maybe no GM ever — was better with pitchers, baseball’s plasma.

Some people write of "blood and guts" and others deal in "intestinal fortitude". Nick Canepa and I both broker in plasma. I sold my plasma in college and it allowed me to party like a rock star on Thursday nights.

Hoyer was in the process of rebuilding the club’s farm system, a good thing, when the glitter of Michigan Avenue beckoned. 

I have submitted "...rebuilding the club's farm system, a good thing...." as the understatement of the Mother f*ckING year.

At least he had that going for him, but even Jed readily admitted he screwed up this past off-season, sweeping a 90-win team of clubhouse leadership and miscalculating on veteran free agents who couldn’t cut it anymore.

I'm not a Hoyer apologist. But it's hard to calculate correctly on veteran free agents when the calculator you've been given is void of so many decimal places. You know this, Nick. So why mention it?

Young Hoyer also either bowed to upper management or public (I hope not) pressure to bring slugging minor league first baseman Anthony Rizzo

That Rizzo kid, for lack of a better word, RAPED the Pacific Coast League while an inept Brad Hawpe manned first base in PETCO Park. Why wouldn't he have been promoted?

Enter Josh Byrnes, former GM of the Diamondbacks when Moorad ran that club.

Our transformation is complete. We are now the San Diego Diamondbacks.

Byrnes was canned in Arizona, but he did some good things there. Many of the players Towers won with this year were brought in with Byrnes on the bridge. 

 I thought Towers gets all the credit because he's the Pitcher Whisperer. And there's also the matter of plasma.

What Towers did there was create a winning pitching staff and bullpen, his forte.

Uhhh.... Nick... I guess I'll give you the bullpen (only because, like you, I don't want to do the research) but the Diamondbacks only had four legitimate starters this year, three of which were acquired by Josh Byrnes (Hudson, Kennedy, Collmenter) and the other by Jerry Dipoto (Saunders). Good point though.

Byrnes, at 41, has a pedigree, having studied under good baseball people along the way. Hopefully, he’ll be more than a San Diego comet. Hopefully, he’ll buy, not rent.

Josh Byrnes has good pedigree. He's like a dog. And I'll be honest-- people who by houses are comfortable. I don't want a guy who's comfortable. Kevin Towers was comfortable. 15 years comfortable.

If Moorad wants to build a winner here, he has to keep GMs around long enough to learn their names. He can’t afford Blunder No. 3. …

 Jed's name only has three letters and I've heard Jeff Moorad say it on the Darren Smith Show numerous times. "Josh" on the other hand is a hella tricky name to master.

Losing assistant GM Jason McLeod, who’s headed for Chicago with Hoyer, may be the bigger loss …

Finally Nick Canepa makes crystal clear sense of this mess. I wish the clarity would have occurred before word number 553 of the column (I counted).

Epstein already has put the kibosh on Hoyer’s first planned move, signing Brad Hawpe …

Haha. Brad Hawpe jokes will never get old.

I can't wait to do this again.

Every baseball has a story...

It's important to pause and give ample reflection on any matter in life... especially where baseball is concerned.

Due to this personal credo I have chosen to take close to a fortnight to respond to the Padres Town Hall Meeting of January 27th, 2011. The Town Hall Meeting is the lifeblood of any democracy as citizens of the past and present will surely attest; as such it bears special comment.


But I'm not here to talk about the Town Hall Meeting itself; it is something others have already evaluated. I don't care to discuss the tolling of the bells* as Trevor Hoffman graced the stage with the rest of the Padres brass. Nor do I intend to touch upon the fervor** with which Vice Chairman Garfinkel is pursuing an All-Star game for San Diego. Jed Hoyer's greatness***? A topic for another day...

Instead, I'd prefer to tell you about the Official Major League Baseball I came away with on the evening of the 27th. Now I didn't steal this baseball, you see. I found it fair and square like any fan would have if sitting in the bleachers of Petco Park.

So the logical question becomes, "How did you get it, Chief?"

I'm glad you asked: "It's all about positioning, anticipation and a proper jump. Like Tony Gwynn Jr. playing a Petco Park centerfield."

As the Padres Front Office completed their own little version of the State of the Union I anticipated the forthcoming invitation to move the meeting from the bleachers to the field and I sprang from my seat.

I meandered through the obstacles**** and made my way to the front row of seats in Section 113 where there existed an open gate offering entry to the plush San Diego diamond. The lucky season ticket holders of this row have ample leg room and the convenience of cup holders bolted to the concrete retaining wall which separates athlete from fan. It was in that cup holder, with the eyes of a hawk, I spied the Official Major League baseball.

Clearly it was gathered by an usher at some point during the day and placed inside of the cup holder... left for discovery like an egg on Easter morning. In mid stride and with the most fluid of motions I scooped it and deftly transferred it to my back pocket. I walked out on to the grounds followed by the remainder of Town Hall attendees.

Why was the ball there and why did it look as though it had been struck squarely on the label before its use ended? This is an excellent question but one that can be difficult to answer... especially when I've decided to write this column nearly two weeks after the fact. But those with baseball fever will tell you that only a few short hours before the Padres' Town Hall Meeting began, the future of the organization spent the afternoon working out and gaining much needed perspective in preparation for their futures as Padres.

In fact the entire week had included the most heralded prospects in the organization gathering to listen to the likes of Tony Gwynn, Dave Winfield, Mark Loretta, and Brad Ausmus discuss the subtleties of being a professional ball player as part of the Padres' winter development program. By afternoon these organizational saviors plied their trade as youthful apprentices with varied tools. They hit, ran, fielded, and threw their way into the consciousness of someone who's opinion mattered. Someone who would eventually decide their fate as a Padre.

Names like Casey Kelly and Simon Castro hurled the ball through the park while hitters like Anthony Rizzo, Donavan Tate, James Darnell and Jaff Decker smacked the ball around a place they might one day call home.

Imagine that...

A ball used and abused by the future of the San Diego Padres is currently in my possession. How long was its life? Was it brief... maybe a towering HR to right or a lazy foul ball bouncing through vacant aisles early in the day? Or did it make the rounds all afternoon connecting with every bright spot of San Diego's baseball future?

I'm certain that scuffed-up ball could capture one's imagination with a tale or two of its own...

*Awesome!
**Really?
*** He is great isn't he!
****Seats, railings, and the ubiquitous albeit ill advised yellow caution tape containing the throngs of Padre fans from mucking up every section in the park.

Stuff the Padres and I have acquired this winter

This Padres off-season has been a winter roller coaster.

The euphoria of acquiring a high ceiling talent like Cameron Maybin diminished when Adrian Gonzalez, the talented anchor of the infield, was shipped off to Boston for unknown quantities in the form of prospects.

Not one of these players is ready to contribute to a team that won 90 games in 2010.

"Allegedly" players like Casey Kelly and Anthony Rizzo will arrive sooner than later... this is soothing.

While Hope for 2011 took a backseat to it's bastard cousin Despair something quite rare happened in the last few weeks... Hope returned! Yes, hope reemerged when Jed Hoyer went and grabbed Jason Bartlett and Orlando Hudson to shore up the middle infield while simultaneously bolstering the top of the line-up card.

Now the only question that remains; who will Jed plug into first base before Kyle Blanks (injury) or Anthony Rizzo (youth) become viable options?

Derek Lee? Adam LaRoche? Troy Glaus? Joe Randa*?

I don't know the answer. I can't even say which player I prefer.  I can only speak to that which I have knowledge... and that's the stuff that I picked up this winter. 

This post starts NOW!
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In 2005 I turned on the television to watch 60 Minutes. A segment on American soccer goalkeeper Tim Howard would explore his trials and tribulations as an athlete (both with Manchester United and the US National Team) living with Tourette's Syndrome. It was interesting and touching and.... now to my point.

Tim Howard was wearing this San Diego Padres track jacket by Majestic during his interview with Steve Croft:

I know; it's awesome.

I probably should have been looking for a way to contribute to a TS foundation but I was too overwhelmed by that jacket. Like so many things that are AWESOME, it overtook my will and would consume nearly the next 6 years of my life.

I looked everywhere for this jacket----The MLB Shop/On-line stores/Craig's List/ E-Bay.

I searched them all, finding variations of what I desired, but never the exact retro-track jacket I saw that evening on 60 Minutes. I began to ask myself if the jacket even existed. Was this a memory conjured up out of thin air? I searched for 60 Minutes footage of the Tim Howard interview and it was edited... showing nothing Padres of the sort.

I'm from New Jersey... why on earth would I be wearing a brown Padres Track Jacket, you ass-hat?

Time passed and on occasion I would see a fan at the park adorned with my white whale. The image would leave me frozen unable to muster the nerve to ask where they had purchased such beatific brown. The resulting debilitation also kept me from an attempted assault and burglary. The latter effect of my paralysis proved fortuitous....

For, in late November of 2010 I found my white whale on E-Bay for an absurdly low price of $14.99.

I would not fall like Ahab... this jacket would be mine!

The Missus, having witnessed my pain over the years, gave the green-light for an early Christmas present so I bid. And then I waited. For four days.

Nearly a month has passed and if you've seen a guy wearing that jacket around town, it was probably me. I wear it all the time. Inexplicably, I wear my "Brown-Majestic-Faux-Retro-Circa 2005- Padres Track-Jacket" even on occasions where my dress attire suggests that it's DEFINITELY NOT a day to present myself casually. I don't care. I won't apologize.

Go Padres.

*At this URL,  every question has a bold and definitive answer... it is delivered in the form of the human known as Joe Randa.

The 1st place hoopla is nice but there's something even better

Most fans are excited about the Padres being in first place heading to Cincinnati for a three game series this weekend. How could you not be? I also think that part of the allure of our current spot in the standings seems a heck of a lot different than the early first place position the Padres held during the 2009 season. People recognize that there is a difference..... a big difference. But what is this difference, precisely?

Over at Gaslamp Ball a nice piece was written on whether or not certain players were playing "over their heads" and if they would simply regress to the mean over the course of the season. The article had merit, without doubt, but it is not necessarily the standout reason (in my opinion) for why the Padres have been so successful thus far. The following quotes from a February Q&A between the Union Tribune's Bill Center and San Diego Padres owner Jeff Moorad provides some valuable insights:

Bill Center: Since you took over, discussions about the dimensions of Petco Park seem to have quieted. Do you see any changes being made while your team is in charge and are you happy with the ballpark’s dynamics and structure?

Jeff Moorad: Jed Hoyer talked about using the dimensions of Petco as a strategic advantage since the day I first met him. He talked of how the Red Sox used Fenway Park as a home-field advantage and had a .680 winning percentage there, with only a .500 or so record on the road. We will continue to focus on athleticism, speed, and pitching in putting the club together and use the ballpark to our advantage.

The above comments from Jeff Moorad are not uncommon themes from this last off-season. We've heard the same sentiments from the mouth of GM Jed Hoyer as well and ultimately the Padres FO wisely decided to use Petco to their advantage*(click "Read More" to continue). 

The consensus appears to be: continue to have strong starting pitching and a sturdy bullpen but supplement it with guys who chase balls down on defense and who can use their speed to pressure teams on the base paths. To aid in a switch to this philosophy they brought in former Padre Dave Roberts to teach the nuances of base-running (he's the guy who got the most important stolen base in the history of the Boston Red Sox). Has it worked? You be the judge.

The Padres are 2-4 away from Petco where they had a miserable time on the base-paths and they're 7-2 at home where they executed hit and runs, a suicide squeeze, and stole 15/16 bases. A correlation? I think so.

In the above quote, Moorad mentioned Hoyer's assertion that tailoring the Red Sox to play in Fenway yielded a .680 winning percentage at home which must have worked...... a couple World Series titles were delivered during that stretch**. While I'm no expert in math I can definitely calculate that a 7-2 mark in Petco is.......well it's over .700. Feel free to calculate to precision on your own.....I'm cool with anything tantamount to a .700 winning percentage.

* I had been mulling this post over in my head for a few days and wouldn't you know that Tim Sullivan at the UT wrote a similarly themed article which was published around midnight last night. I'll be damned if I'm going to scrap anything I wrote, especially after searching for the above quote for God knows how long!
** I am in no way suggesting that the Padres are going to the World Series this year. Future, yes. 2010, no.