Showing posts with label Plaxico Burress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Plaxico Burress. Show all posts

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Plaxico Burress: an excuse to use a great photoshop


The hammer came down on Plaxico Burress this morning. From the New York Times:
Plaxico Burress, the former Giants receiver, pleaded guilty on Thursday morning to attempted criminal possession of a weapon, in a deal with Manhattan prosecutors that will send him to prison for two years.

If the case were to go to trial and Mr. Burress were convicted of all charges — two counts of second-degree criminal possession of a weapon and one count of second-degree reckless endangerment — he could face 3½ to 15 years in prison. The plea agreement still needs the approval of a State Supreme Court justice.

Mr. Burress, who caught the winning touchdown pass in the Giants’ 2008 Super Bowl victory against the New England Patriots, had a license to carry the gun in Florida, but it had expired nearly seven months before the shooting. Even if it were still valid, prosecutors said, Mr. Burress would not have been allowed to carry the weapon in New York.

Too harsh of a penalty for a self-inflicted injury? Let's see what the masses think...



Ochenta y Cinco says a lot of stupid things. This may be one of his better ideas.



Lights-out makes a valid point. When your gat slides down your pants you may be a douche.


This comment came from a reader at the NY Times. While I may agree that a deprivation of liberty for two years seems a bit steep let's not go throwing the "it's unconstitutional" banner over this issue. You see, there are certain people who are deemed menaces to society and as such it would be best not to have them carrying firearms. So states go about setting up laws that create barriers to owning weapons if you fall into this "menace" category; all the while trying to adhere to your constitutional protections.

I like these barriers....they make me feel safe when I choose to cruise out to clubs at 1:30 AM on a work night while leaving my little baby and wife at home. I want to know that responsible citizens and non-felons are the ones carrying weapons, so I don't get shot which would make it increasingly more difficult to make it home on a work night and to my little baby and wife I left at home.

While Plaxico was not a felon he was anything but responsible. The 2nd Amendment to the Constitution of the United States requires stipulations because of morons like Plaxico Burress. He didn't have his Glock registered in the state of NY. It's registration in the state of Florida had been expired for months, not that it would have mattered, because HE WAS IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK!!!! He didn't have the safety on his Glock set. He didn't have his Glock secured to ensure that it wouldn't fall down his pants. He is not very responsible and that's why there are restrictions on our right to bear arms. To protect us from egregious violators of the law and common place morons. Sorry Plax, but you've proven yourself a moron.

Giving up even a bit of your personal Liberty is a slippery slope, a slope that I'd prefer not to traverse. I don't own a hand gun but I may buy one in the future. If that day comes I really don't like the idea that the federal government will be aware of my activity but such is the price one pays. I'd much rather know that if there's anyone actually packin' out on the streets, that they are non-criminals who've exhibited some semblance of responsibility by getting a license for their weapon. History tells us that even those who handle guns regularly are subject to catastrophic accidents so I'll concede a little liberty in this instance.

It should also be noted that New York City had a lot of crime in the early '80s and now they don't, relatively speaking. I read a book called the Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell and he discusses some of the ways that New York cleaned itself up; I highly recommend it. In addition to Gladwell's study, I also have to think that strict gun laws have contributed to this decrease in crime. Call me crazy....

How 'bout one more tweet before we put the Plaxico story to rest:



Ehh........I too have a difficult time reconciling the Stallworth sentence and the case of Plaxico Burress.

Donte Stallworth killed another human being and he did it with marijuana in his system as well as a blood-alcohol-level that was above the legal limit. That's gross negligence and it cost someone their life.

Plaxico Burress could have killed someone and had he done so, it would have been gross negligence on his part.....but he didn't.....he's a moron who shot himself. Being punished for what you might do kind of sounds like life imitating art, a la the Minority Report. I don't know that I agree with that methodology.

Anyways...

Let's not forget how this country formed. Thirteen colonies existed as separate entities before they ever united. They thought of themselves as their own distinct nations with their own laws and customs. Their union developed as a means to an end; to defeat a seemingly invincible British Empire. Once this task was accomplished they returned to their old mindset of individual and distinct nations.

When the Constitution was eventually ratified, it was noted that the Union was entered into voluntarily by each State, and that this document would preserve the rights' of each of these States. Well now there are 50 States and they all have their own unique laws, Plax and fellow citizens......so, you better recognize!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

You'll shoot your leg off, Plax!!!



An icicle fell off the team bus and speared me in the leg!!

No it is not a gun shot wound, it is an icicle wound...and my name is Harris Smith.

The sad thing is that I’m not even surprised anymore when the latest news breaks regarding another “Professional” football player having had a scrape with the law. Plaxico now joins a long list of not-so-distinguished players who have disgraced themselves and their sport. He, Michael Vick, Pacman, Chris Henry and the like “sacrifice the gift” when they act like they're central characters in the mid '90s East Coast/West Coast rap feuds (Tupac's like eight bullets up on you, Plax). These antics cast aside the blessing which so many of us wish we had received and we resent you for it.

You Bitches don't know what bein' hard is...except Pacman...he always in da strip club...

Sure this Avenger suffers from excessive testosterone production, and has been known to engage in a bit of the ol’ “how’s yer father?”, occasionally resulting in expulsion from some of the West’s finer establishments...



But certainly not when the opportunity of a lifetime (the only viable livelihood for many of these players) and millions of dollars are on the line! Besides, there’s quite a big difference between a rugby-pitch donnybrook, and shooting the bouncer, (or yo’ dumb-ass self), at a nightclub.

What I’d like for Christmas is for the NFL to step in and enforce some real discipline on these players. There’s no way an average citizen is going to bring an unregistered weapon into an NYC club and get away with a slap on the wrist....and hopefully Plax won’t, but if he does, the NFL should have the balls to lay down the law and show players that playing in the league is a priviledge, not a right.

Bitch I got fired for bein' detrimental and shit...then the Bungles hired me back. You don't know shit.

There are plenty of high-caliber athletes out there ready to step up and take the place of these miscreants, the NFL should give them a chance and not tarnish its image by employing people of low character...


My agent got it all worked out...I'll be runnin' routes for the G-Men before long

THE GHOST OF SID GOING
(aka-Walter G. Bumpus)

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Oh Plaxico, We'll Always Have Superbowl XLII



"WHAT?!!!!!!......OHHH, YEA!!!!!!!
Yea, I'll bring my gat to the Latin Quarter nightclub in Manhattan.
I'll have loads of cash and be wearin' my chains, but I'm leavin' my grill at home with Mrs. Burress!
Let's Get CRUNK...I got nuthin to lose!"


In this 24 hour news cycle world we're a few steps behind per usual....

What you know:
Plaxico Burress put a hole in the same leg that has a game-missing-worthy hamstring injury and everything good has already been said about it or written. Any worries about his mental wellness and football future....taken. Any funny angle about his stupidity.....taken.

The one and only thing we'll say regarding the issue is that when we saw that the GSW was self-inflicted, we laughed...

Oh yea, and then you'll say,
"That's Horrible!"
And then we'll reply,
"But why?"
And you'll be all,
"He's a troubled human being!"
And we'll be like,
"Yea. He got 45 million troubles during the off season but gun safety lessons shouldn't be one."

"You're an ASSHOLE!"

"So!'

"Where's your compassion?"

"We save it for people who actually need to carry guns for a living...and Detroit Lion fans."

"Dick!"

"Shooting yourself is funny. Sue us! Thanks for beating the Pats, Plax! See you in 3 to 5!"