Chase Headley: Nearly in exclusive company

 John Fay is the Reds beat writer for the Cincinnati Enquirer. I don't follow him. But I do follow Derrick Goold who writes for the St. Louis Post Dispatch and he re-tweeted the following:

Bruce, Pujols, Miguel Cabrera are only players in the major leagues with at least 30 doubles, 25 home runs and 75 RBI #reds
— John Fay (@johnfayman) August 20, 2012

As of this afternoon Chase Headley has 23 doubles, 20 home runs and 76 RBI all while playing half of his games in PETCO Park. Chase Headley is not in exclusive company . . . but he's pretty damn close.

With a big game tonight, wait . . . is tonight's game in PETCO or PNC Park?

Never mind.

Guest Post: @Homersapien619 is mad at Orlando Hudson types . . . and he ain't gonna take it anymore!

A blog is a place to vent. As such, I have an open door policy to those who have become friends. When you factor into the equation that this post simultaneously denigrates both Orlando Hudson and Shaun Phillips I have little choice but to acquiesce.

This column comes from a man known on the Internet as @Homersapien619 and 'tis his first foray into the blogging business. Welcome him, please.

Congratulations, Homer! You're officially an a-hole.

This is my first ever blog submission. I’m normally one of the guys in the background, doing a lot of technical stuff, making the writers look good. Hopefully, this is going to live up to the Avenging Jack Murphy standards of excellence. That means there will be at least one Joe Randa reference, guaranteed. But, I haven’t been drinking Ballast Point Sculpin IPA, so it’s doubtful there will be any misspelled capitalization errors (see: vIlL WeNaBlE).

That having been said, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among San Diego “professional” athletes this year in terms of interacting with their fans via social media sites like Twitter.

If you don’t know, I have been coordinating social media locally for a Fortune 500 company, so I think I have a little insight into how not to interact with customers (aka fans) via Twitter. And lately, certain San Diego athletes have been doing it wrong.

I have dubbed it the “Mow My Lawn” rule, after the following interaction between Padres fan, Scott Colson and the account of Padres 2^nd baseman Orlando Hudson.

I say account because it was obvious that someone else was tweeting for Orlando. But that’s another story altogether.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a Chargers fan. In fact, I’m really not a football fan. I follow the sport, but nowhere near as closely as others.

But Monday I just happened to come across a couple of tweets from two Chargers players that fall under the “Mow My Lawn” rule. The following tweets are prime examples of why I don’t like the Chargers organization as a whole, and the current players in particular.

First up, I give you TE Randy McMichael (@randymac81):

I didn’t include his tweet shortly after this one where he calls a fan an @$$hole after said fan made a joke involving some of the people he was following (Editor's note: Wow . . . you're not as big of an asshole as I thought, Homer!)
 

Hey, Randy. It’s never a good idea to denigrate grocery baggers. Next thing you know, your bread & eggs are underneath the milk.

Secondly, I give you everyone's Twitter favorite, LB Shaun Phillips (@ShaunPhillips95):

 What can I say about this sequence? I’ve heard it all before from Shaun. He’s notorious for berating critics with his tweets. Even when he deserves it.
 

 My point is this: Yes, we know that you’re getting paid to do a job that most of us can’t do. But you should remember that as fans, we pay our hard earned money to buy tickets. Or jerseys. Or t-shirts. Or MLB Extra Innings. Or NFL Sunday Ticket. Most of us don’t have a lot of disposable income to buy these things. So you should man-up and take the criticisms with a grain of salt.

Does this mean you should respond with “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I disagree with your point,” or “I understand and I’ll do better next time”? No. I’m sure I’d call you a pussy if you took that stance. But take some responsibility for the way your TEAM is playing.

That’s right, I said TEAM. 

The fact is that the Chargers have lost 5 in a row as I write this. I have no idea how Randy McMichael or Shaun Phillips are playing right now. They could suck more than the suckiest bunch of sucks whoever sucked. Or they could be invoking the image of Joe Randa, roundhouse kicking their way into the record books. But their TEAM is playing like the suckiest bunch of sucks whoever sucked.

There’s that word again. TEAM.

 *Editor's Note: Excellent Joe Randa product placement.

Laziness Yields Pointless Posts

This is merely an excuse to show the reunion picture for the 50 greatest Chargers which has become my background photo for the enormous time suck known as Twitter----where venom and vitriol can be abbreviated to 140 characters or less.

Eric Weddle and the #ELISUCKS Phenomenon

On Sunday the Twitterverse was teeming with Charger Fans attaching the tag, #ELISUCKS, to any and every statement about the Bolts/Giants clash. It was quite gratifying to see so many Bolt Backers bringing a level of fan hatred that is all too frequently missing in America's Finest City. Hate is a fundamental component of following sports so if yo' soul is lacking in vitriol......YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

Having said that, this Twit's favorite Tweet was sans an #ELISUCKS tag.....

"Who's the Boss? Eric Weddle!"
See that Tweet was hilarious because the Chargers were playing in New York and that's where Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano of the '80s hit sitcom, Who's the Boss, were from. Alright.....that's false and more of an excuse to insert gratuitous YouTube footage.......

For those lacking a keen eye (see: employees of ESPN, specifically Keyshawn Johnson) the player that Eric Weddle disintegrated upon impact was Giants TE Kevin Boss hence the extremely clever play on words revolving around a teenage crush on an 80s sitcom star*. BOOM......he's on his back!**

* Didn't everyone have a crush on Alyssa Milano? Did you know she's a Dodger fan and a serial Tweeter?
** Man am I avoiding any sort of serious analysis regarding Sunday's game. I'll leave it to the Charger Fan in Donkey Land.

Some Hate For The Hump Day: Eli Manning-Need We Say More?

Sad...whaaaaaa!!!...Happy

NFL organizations choose college players, not the other way around. That fact alone is why Eli deserves the wrath of San Diego; the arrogance that allowed a 22 year old boy to use his family's name to dictate where he would play. So glad we got Philip Rivers instead.....and Shawne Merriman....and Nate Kaeding.

Hate away your Hump Day, San Diego.

Need additional reasons for justifiable loathing of Eli Manning? Take a look at a 2004 draft day interview of Eli dug up by the Bolt Bulletin. My hate was rejuvenated after reading it.....

Also check out the Eli Manning/SD Media conference call podcast from XX1090. He fields some interesting questions......ever wonder what happened to Eli's Charger draft day jersey?

Memo: Cut the hyperbole and just make a play

MEMO
TO: Shawne Merriman
FROM: Avenging Jack Murphy
DATE: October 23rd, 2009
RE: Excessive hyperbole and crazy-talk

That's a great little aphorism, Shawne. However, you ARE NOT Superman and I think you're shooting on the high side there anyways. The Chargers ARE facing adversity........ so it would be best to direct your focus on MAKING PLAYS! You don't need to break records to be a champion. Records are for individuals....arrogant pricks. Championships are for teams. STOP TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO.......

Terrible Football Teams, Twitter, and Total Consciousness

I'm just throwin' good $$$ after bad this year. Still alive in the survivor pool though, so in the words of Carl Spackler: "I've got that goin' for me...which is nice."

There's like 500,000 people following this guy on Twitter named Justin, who posts shit that his dad says---cleverly called shitmydadsays--- and it's hilarious. Here's something he posted a couple of weeks ago about the Detroit Lions. Enjoy...

Don't shoot the messenger. I've never been to Detroit.

Chargers' Nose Back To The Grindstone, Appear To Have Pinpointed All Of Their Problems....

I hate to take the piss out of Shawne Merriman because I like him and he has passion...... but c'mon? Become the master of your domain.....give the Twitter a break until you figure things out on the defensive side of the ball. San Diego is completely embarrassed by the Defense's performance on Sunday.

Get your head in the game; video of haircut don't make tackles!

Plaxico Burress: an excuse to use a great photoshop

The hammer came down on Plaxico Burress this morning. From the New York Times:

Plaxico Burress, the former Giants receiver, pleaded guilty on Thursday morning to attempted criminal possession of a weapon, in a deal with Manhattan prosecutors that will send him to prison for two years.

If the case were to go to trial and Mr. Burress were convicted of all charges — two counts of second-degree criminal possession of a weapon and one count of second-degree reckless endangerment — he could face 3½ to 15 years in prison. The plea agreement still needs the approval of a State Supreme Court justice.

Mr. Burress, who caught the winning touchdown pass in the Giants’ 2008 Super Bowl victory against the New England Patriots, had a license to carry the gun in Florida, but it had expired nearly seven months before the shooting. Even if it were still valid, prosecutors said, Mr. Burress would not have been allowed to carry the weapon in New York.

Too harsh of a penalty for a self-inflicted injury? Let's see what the masses think...

Ochenta y Cinco says a lot of stupid things. This may be one of his better ideas.

Lights-out makes a valid point. When your gat slides down your pants you may be a douche.

This comment came from a reader at the NY Times. While I may agree that a deprivation of liberty for two years seems a bit steep let's not go throwing the "it's unconstitutional" banner over this issue. You see, there are certain people who are deemed menaces to society and as such it would be best not to have them carrying firearms. So states go about setting up laws that create barriers to owning weapons if you fall into this "menace" category; all the while trying to adhere to your constitutional protections.

I like these barriers....they make me feel safe when I choose to cruise out to clubs at 1:30 AM on a work night while leaving my little baby and wife at home. I want to know that responsible citizens and non-felons are the ones carrying weapons, so I don't get shot which would make it increasingly more difficult to make it home on a work night and to my little baby and wife I left at home.

While Plaxico was not a felon he was anything but responsible. The 2nd Amendment to the Constitution of the United States requires stipulations because of morons like Plaxico Burress. He didn't have his Glock registered in the state of NY. It's registration in the state of Florida had been expired for months, not that it would have mattered, because HE WAS IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK!!!! He didn't have the safety on his Glock set. He didn't have his Glock secured to ensure that it wouldn't fall down his pants. He is not very responsible and that's why there are restrictions on our right to bear arms. To protect us from egregious violators of the law and common place morons. Sorry Plax, but you've proven yourself a moron.

Giving up even a bit of your personal Liberty is a slippery slope, a slope that I'd prefer not to traverse. I don't own a hand gun but I may buy one in the future. If that day comes I really don't like the idea that the federal government will be aware of my activity but such is the price one pays. I'd much rather know that if there's anyone actually packin' out on the streets, that they are non-criminals who've exhibited some semblance of responsibility by getting a license for their weapon. History tells us that even those who handle guns regularly are subject to catastrophic accidents so I'll concede a little liberty in this instance.

It should also be noted that New York City had a lot of crime in the early '80s and now they don't, relatively speaking. I read a book called the Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell and he discusses some of the ways that New York cleaned itself up; I highly recommend it. In addition to Gladwell's study, I also have to think that strict gun laws have contributed to this decrease in crime. Call me crazy....

How 'bout one more tweet before we put the Plaxico story to rest:

Ehh........I too have a difficult time reconciling the Stallworth sentence and the case of Plaxico Burress.

Donte Stallworth killed another human being and he did it with marijuana in his system as well as a blood-alcohol-level that was above the legal limit. That's gross negligence and it cost someone their life.

Plaxico Burress could have killed someone and had he done so, it would have been gross negligence on his part.....but he didn't.....he's a moron who shot himself. Being punished for what you might do kind of sounds like life imitating art, a la the Minority Report. I don't know that I agree with that methodology.

Anyways...

Let's not forget how this country formed. Thirteen colonies existed as separate entities before they ever united. They thought of themselves as their own distinct nations with their own laws and customs. Their union developed as a means to an end; to defeat a seemingly invincible British Empire. Once this task was accomplished they returned to their old mindset of individual and distinct nations.

When the Constitution was eventually ratified, it was noted that the Union was entered into voluntarily by each State, and that this document would preserve the rights' of each of these States. Well now there are 50 States and they all have their own unique laws, Plax and fellow citizens......so, you better recognize!

Antonio Cromartie, The Constitution, and the incessant need of professional athletes to Twitter like 13 year old girls

After letting Twitter-gate roll around my mind for the last week (see: I am a complete laggard) I decided to play a little game called Cromartie's Constitutional Convention Connection. After all, it was Antonio Cromartie who claimed to have had his 1st Amendment rights violated when the Chargers fined him for Tweeting inane Tweets about camp food and Super Bowl draughts ..... free speech in America and all. I'll spare you the Norv Turner and Thomas Jefferson ,"Awkward Genius", comparisons and delve right into that stifling Philadelphia summer of 1787.

Back in 1787 a bunch of fellas got together in the City of Brotherly Love to make some profound fixes to the existing governing document of the United States. Pure crap, those Articles of Confederation. Very little power had been given to Congress and the lack of enforceable action by this political body was comical. Additionally, the infant nation lacked an entity such as an Executive Branch that could not only check the authority of Congress but could provide much needed leadership---imagine an NFL without the stewardship of the heavy handed Roger Goodell ---rampaging athletes without limits to be sure . So during a sweltering summer these fellas hashed out their differences, made a slew of compromises and prepared the country for a new course.

There was a problem though, with this new governing document. There were Federalists who wanted a much stronger role for the central government and then there were the Anti-Federalists who desired.....wait for it..... the opposite. Anti-Federalists clamored for certain rights to be written down, set in stone for all to acknowledge as unalienable. Federalists thought this was silly, "The rights were implied!", they proclaimed. This Federalist faction also noted that if the Convention were to write down specific rights to be protected they would invariably miss a few that were unforeseen (see abortion rights and Tweeting about your Government)......then could these unlisted rights be freely violated by their Government?

The Anti Federalists led by Thomas Jefferson tasked one of the top intellects of the day, James Madison to create a Bill of Rights for this new Constitution. Madison was smart so he just created an amendment (9th) that would encompass all things not written down explicitly into the document of 1787: If it ain't written down it's reserved for the people. People usually forget that one.....but they don't forget the 1st Amendment. The 1st covers a good many freedoms the most important of which is our Freedom of Speech, and that's why we're here Bolt Fans......

Chargers: Training Camp: Constitutional Law

Was Antonio Cromartie's Freedom of Speech violated when the Charger's brass fined him and admonished him not to be a twit while Tweeting?

Cromartie says yes. A few who write the stories concur. What about the fans? I've heard far too many scream, "This is Un-American!". Let's look at the text of the grand old document, shall we?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I went ahead and highlighted the important parts for Antonio Cromartie and all else who think that he has been wronged.

Our Freedom of Speech has nothing to do with Tweeting whatever you want. Nor does it have anything to do with being able to voice our unique selves to the world. It only says that Congress (GOVERNMENT) can't silence your voice (with a few exceptions). So Cro' can tweet all he wants about how the Federal Government is raping his monthly NFL paychecks and he can do it all without reprisals from The Man (and by "The Man" I mean Obama not Goodell as big Rodge would likely call him into the office for the ingratitude). But the 1st Amendment doesn't protect his speech when it goes against the wishes of his employer and so he is subject to being censured.

The spirit of the 1st amendment is to prevent your government from stifling your voice--
a voice which, in its active state, is the life-blood of a democracy.
Twittering about your employer's cafeteria
escapes the purview of this protection.

I was always free to tell my parents that I'm old enough to do what I want and they were free to revoke my privileges to the family car. Just like Cro' is free to Tweet what he wants and the Chargers are free to terminate him--or in this case, to fine him and tell him to shut it.

The Constitution and the misinterpretation of our governing document aside there are two bigger issues at hand for the Chargers in their 5oth Anniversary year: The content of Tweets and Twittering itself.

I'll begin with Antonio Cromartie's Tweet:

crimetime31: Man we have 2 have the most nasty food of any team. Damn can we upgrade 4 str8 years the same ish maybe that's y we can't we the SB we need

Indeed, Cromartie accurately assessed San Diego's Super Bowl deprivation by blaming it on the organization's choice of caterers...... but such is the curse of Twitter and its debilitating limitation of 140 characters. The completion of AC's Tweet, space permitting, was:

crimetime31:your star CB sh*t the bed when he came up 13 interceptions short of breaking the rec, I had the nerve to boast bout breakin over the prev. sum. Sorry SD fans. (dammit! that was over 140 characters too!)

Think stupid things but don't say or Tweet them. Tweet in cliches Cro' (go watch Bull Durham and listen to Crash Davis and Nuke LaLoosh discuss the topic). You don't need the spot light on you after last season. Be quiet and workman like.

The act of Twittering itself by our young defensive superstars was best articulated by a reader, screen-named Boltsfanatic, at the Union Tribune:

As a lifelong Charger fan it doesn't make me less embarrassed about the idiocy that Cromartie is able to misspell or hide the fact that Merriman uses Twitter like a 13 year old girl in a chat room with the Jonas Brothers. I like it when football players are allowed to show personality, but the Chargers have too many classy players to be overshadowed by idiots who self promote on Twitter.

Well said Boltsfanatic. I followed Crimetime31 for approximately 4 minutes until I realized that he too Twitters like a 13 year old girl in a chat room with the Jonas Brothers. I quickly dropped him like Cro's 2008 interception totals. Uphold the integrity of the organization as well as yourselves and keep your eyes on the prize, fellas.

A focused Antonio Cromartie and Shawne Merriman are the only way that Vince's Hardware will find its way to San Diego. Bolts in 2009-20010.

The trophy that would bear his name

Editor's Note:
Do not dispute the analysis found here. I drink beer and watch the Chargers on Sundays. On the other six days of the week I am a Constitutional Law expert (I say this with the full understanding that the term "expert" is subjective and bandied about quite freely these days.....just look at Matt Millen and his ability to get an analyst's job at ESPN).

Jake Peavy Hates You Bloggers

On Tuesday Jake Peavy was on the hill to disastrous effects. At the time I wanted to analyze it and perhaps make some comparisons to previous athletes who had to face adversity (sickness, injury, etc.) yet battled through it. Eventually I optioned out because it required research which I didn't have time for and I didn't want to "call out" Jake Peavy....dude wasn't feeling well, and he's about all we've got to claim as our own.

However, I decided I would touch on the Peavy Start, and would look at in a broader context based on something I read over at Gaslamp Ball. What was written over at GLB was a break down of Jake's comments of a radio interview with Darren Smith on XX1090 on Thursday afternoon. After reading the quotes I listened to the interview so I could get the context as well as hear the tone in which Jake gave them. The whole interview essentially revolved around Jake's illness and subsequent reports that were either visible on Twitter:

or other 'inaccurate' reports on blogs by fans:

The above quote is what shall drive my attempt to be as fact based as possible in looking at Jake's career.......that's right, it's stats time!

Jake Peavy has asserted that blogs are riddled with inaccuracies so it is with that in mind that we have turned to ESPN to provide Jake Peavy's game log for each season in question so as to give the most accurate view possible. I want to look at this week's start as well as some of the more important games from the last few seasons.

2009 Season
On June 2nd JP started at home against the defending champions. His start had been pushed back a day due to a sprained ankle in his previous start against Arizona. Jake pitched poorly against Philly and most of the camera angles were geared towards his left 'plant' foot to try and explain the problems. He didn't seem to favor the ankle but lasted just one inning. We would later hear that JP was suffering from an upper respiratory infection.
L 10-5 to Philadelphia 1IP 3H 4R/4ER 0HR 2BB 0K

2008 Season
On June 18th, with the season essentially over, JP got the start on a Wednesday night in The Bronx. The game lacked true meaning but at the minimum was a stern test that would be covered ad nauseum by ESPN. I was at this game and in Jake's defense he was thrown off his routine by approximately 6o minutes due to rain delay....a lot can happen in an hour.....especially in a beer garden (It wasn't a beer garden. Yankee Stadium was a dilapidated shit hole so really it was a beer stand next to a bathroom....but there was no line/it was dry/and we had an hour to drink/.......so it might as well have been a beer garden)
L 8-5 to NYY 4IP 6H 4R/3ER 1HR 2BB 4K

2007 Season
On June 24th the Padres were facing the eventual 2007 WS winner at home. The Gaslamp Quarter was teeming with Massholes and WE had just watched Chris Young pitch the series even on Saturday night (We were the guys skewering JD Drew all night out in RF). Jake had the opportunity to get the series win on Sunday afternoon against Josh Beckett.
L 4-2 to Boston 5IP 9H 3R/3ER 1BB 3k

On September 5th Buddy Black decided to pitch Jake on short rest to try and halt the surging Arizona Diamondbacks.
L9-6 Arizona 4IP 7H 8R/8ER 2HR 3BB 4K

On October 1st after having debated throwing Jake on short rest in game 162 against the Brewers they instead opted to have him on full rest in case there was a game 163 in Colorado. The Rockies hadn't lost in a month and Trevor blew game 162 when Anthony Gwynn Jr. scored after hitting a triple. Jake took the hill in Denver on full rest the next evening:
ND/L 9-8 Colorado 6.1IP 10H 6R/6ER 2HR 4BB 6K

2006 Post Season
On October 3rd JP had a home start in the opening round of the playoffs. The Cards jumped Jake like a back alley mugger and I sat in the LF bleachers in painful dismay......by the mugging and the fact that Cardinal Fans wearing Pujols jerseys walked through the aisles with impunity. Not even a 'go home', a 'you suck', or a 'stick it in his Pujols'. 'Tis baseball in San Diego.
L 5-1 St. Louis 5.1IP 11H 5R/5ER 1HR 1BB 2K

2005 Post Season
On October 4th JP started in St. Louis. He got bombed. It was later discovered that he was pitching with a broken rib received during a celebratory dog pile the previous week.
L 8-5 St. Louis 4.1IP 8H 8R/8ER 2HR 3BB 3K

The above games are factual in that the statistics are accurate however they are accompanied with my opinions as well as perceived value which I have attached to each game.

Nobody would argue the importance of the '05 and '06 playoff games nor game 163 in '07. It is my opinion that the '07 Red Sox game was of importance in that it was an opportunity for a home series win in an always difficult inter-league schedule as well as an opportunity to go against Josh Becket who was dominating the AL coming into that game. It is also my opinion that the short rest AZ start in '07 was an excellent opportunity for Jake Peavy to assert himself as a big game pitcher by dominating during a pennant race.

With nothing to play for but pride in an abysmal 2008 season Jake had a shot at the Yankees during their Stadium's farewell season. I'm personally irked by that one because I was there for the series and the Padres did nothing to convince New Yorkers that they weren't a AAAA team.

As for the game against Philly this week: I seem to recall Michael Jordan not only playing with the flu during an NBA championship series but dominating and winning. I think we can all agree that the demands on the human body made by basketball are significantly more than that of baseball. Didn't John Kruk famously say,

"Lady, I'm not an athlete. I'm a baseball player." ?

I was disappointed to see that Jake couldn't gut it out a little more and at least save the bullpen. As a pitcher it was he who controlled the pace of the game and this should have allowed him to last if he was ill (I'll go ahead and say that I feel entitled to demand more from Jake since I completed a game in my sport after having dislocated a shoulder and detached my left retina...not saying I'm bad-ass.....I'm just saying).

So while I have included indisputable statistics this post is riddled with my opinions thus making it unpalatable for Jake Peavy. That's fine. What I'm more concerned with is that Jake Peavy seems so surprised with the fact that someone twittered his whereabouts on a game night or that someone speculated that something might be amiss because he wasn't at a gym working out...

It is precisely because people care about that crap that he's able to make $11 million dollars a season.

For Jake to be peeved about a a fake Twitter account is understandable but to discuss fan interest in a tone that suggests contempt is bothersome to someone who has long been a fan of #44. The information age and instant access is making you a lot of money pal, and you'd be wise to acknowledge this fact.

Maybe all of those blogs (see:fans who write them) written out in the big cities like Chicago, Philadelphia, and New York are on to something about our Ace.......maybe he is scared....maybe he knows he'd fail pitching under a microscope......God knows there are no microscopes in San Diego......This is merely speculation and opinion: the kind of 'inaccuracy' in blogging that so upsets Jake Peavy and his handlers.

Editor's Note: I'm a huge Jake Peavy fan and I wore my #44 to the game yesterday. I have also written defenses of JP on the following two blogs:
Peavy: scared or smart?
Peeved about the Peavy hype
While I love the usual competitive fire, I'm starting to grow a little tired of the off-field comments (trade speculation and fan critique) and the lack of results when the stage is at its biggest.

18 inning Marathon brings end to poor homestand

The Padres finished the week with a 1-5 mark after having fallen to the D-backs in 18 innings this afternoon. There was no shame in losing 9-6 after back-up SS Josh Wilson had to take the hill in the 18th. We had been left for dead in the 7th.

The missus and I managed to get some prime seats for this one--we salute you Mark---and also arranged for a babysitter....now guess if we made the whole game?

I had my first beer in the top of the 1st inning. From there on out I chose to remain seated so as to avoid the unnecessary up hill walk from behind the Pads dugout. Not one trip to the Head and after the initial 5 for $5 only a few bucks spent on an ice cold coke....it was hot.

I'm currently showcasing a bit of a lobster burn. It was overcast when we walked out the door and we failed to pack that one essential. In the bottom of the seventh, getting blanked 6-0, I looked at the Missus as people began to filter out of the park and I poetically stated,

"You can say a lot of things about this team but you can't say they're quitters so we'll wait and see what happens."

Kouz then homered in the 7th and bedlam struck in the 9th when the little Eckstein blasted a Chad Qualls pitch straight down the LF line. 6-6. All tied up.

Sean M. Haffey/Union Tribune

I used my cell phone to Tweet the following:

.....and then I proceeded to violate every thing I stand for as a human being and we left after the 12th inning (my wife made me leave). Truthfully, the quarters ran out on the babysitter, so off we went.

The walk to the car consumed the 13th inning and the drive home got the 14th and 15th.

The 16th was consumed by the babysitter debrief....

I had my second beer of the day in the top of the 17th inning, middle infielders started pitching the 18th inning and colossal strikeout machines (Mark Reynolds) began hitting round trippers.......so I finally applied aloe-vera to my sun damaged skin. What happened to the June gloom?

Hey Kids---Build in extra innings to any babysitting arrangement and always bring the sunscreen.