Sight For Sore Eyes After Sweep

I spend a lot of time looking at Baseball-Reference.com for all my nerdy number baseball needs, especially Padres game logs, so as to be accurate when I harangue players like Will Venable and Orlando Hudson. It also serves a valuable purpose when I laud players like Cameron Maybin.

When I look at Baseball Reference I often think of the old carpenter's maxim of, "Measure Twice, Cut Once, my friend."*--- a reminder to look up the numbers before properly laying into a player.

Having said that, it pleased me to see the following graphic this morning:

In case you're missing it let me zoom in...

A nice fresh row of retired numbers featuring Trevor Hoffman. Good stuff.

*I added the 'my friend' to that old proverb and in so doing I believe its been improved upon. Don't you?

Vill Wenable iS A #%^$#* SPY!!!!!

I SEE WHAT'S goING ON WILFREDO. I AM NOT FOOLED YOU ARE A MOLE. YOU ARE A SPY. DON'T THINK I DON'T get it.

BECAUSE I MEMORIZED BASEBALL CARDS I KNOW SOMETHING THAT THE Other 10,032 PADRES FANS IN ATTENDANCE AT PETCO PARK (& AKA PAC BELL ,AT &T, MOBILE WIRELSS, VERIZON PARK SOUTH) TONIGHT DO NOT KNOWO..... I KNOW YOUR DAD WAS PLAYING FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS WHEN YOU WERE BORN!!!! WILLL!!! YOU ARE FROM THE BAY AREA. YOU WANTED THEM TO WIN. LAST YEAR !!! TONIGHTT1!!! YOU SPY!

yoUR 1-4 TONIGHT WAS VErrrRY CLEVER. OH I'LL GET A HIT IN MY FIRsT AT-BAT AND THEN PEOPLE WILL NIT BE HIP TO mY COVERT AGENDA TO SABOTAGE THE PADRES ORGanizATION. GOOD THINKINGG! I'DEXPECT nothing LESS FROM SOMEONE WITH AN IVY LEGUEI EDUCATIONal.

BUT I'M SMART TOO. THIS ALL CAME TO ME AS I SAT BENEATH THE SCOREBOARD LISTENING TO GIANTS FANS YELL AND I FINISHED DRINKING THOSE GICANTIC CANNISTERS OF BEER...... I READ YOUR DAD'S TOPPS BASEBALL CARDS AND I KNOW. I KNOW!!! TREASONOUS SON OF A GIANT!

YOU NEED TO BE LIKE CRHIS DE NORFIA. START DIVING MORE YOU SPY!!

ACT II: F&^% you Vill Wenable

After the Padres ridiculous loss to the Dodgers on Friday night I posted a late evening tirade directed at Will Venable. On account of an all caps yelling concept and prose doused with Ballast Point's Sculpin IPA, 'twas a well received post. But what ensued on Twitter directly after the blog was posted may have been more entertaining (or so I'm told).

Without further ado allow me to present...

Late Evening Tweets About San Diego Padres Right Fielder Will Venable, a Player/Human I Really Don't Care For

 I think this comment verifies my position on the matter in a manner that is both clear and concise... if you can read jumbled letters and make inferences.

 Hey... that IS a catchy title.

 Crazy as evidenced by the keyboarding skills and timeline-bombing of my friends' Twitter Feeds. They barely knew what hit 'em...

 

 

 

I made my first attempt to lure North County Times beat writer Dan Hayes into the discussion. He did not bite.

 Luigi talks to all the players. Some may describe it as something other than talking. Either way I think that Luigi needs to talk to Will Venable. A lot.

 This was my second attempt to get Dan Hayes into the mix. He wasn't buying what I was selling. The true genius/idiocy(?)  of this tweet however is the Matt Stone & Tray Parker reference... base-ketball. Haha. I guess it's more of a David Zucker reference. I stand by my "haha".

 I needed to properly sell crazy and out of my mind... this may have been the clincher.

Well thank you, Dubs.

 Many people think that Frank Caliendo is the opposite of funny. When it comes to his Barkly impersonation I disagree. Unfortunately the funny gets lost in translation over Twitter... unless you're hammered... I think.

 God only knows what I'm referring to. I guess you could check the Twitter time-line...

 What the...

 This is where I yell at Luigi because he makes some crazy reference between AAA and MLB. Certainly crazier than anything I said that night.

Motown references are underrated and nearly non-existent on Twitter. The world should have thanked me for this one.

 Adrian Gonzalez? The last thing I wanted to see in the early AM hours of last Saturday was discussion about Adrian Gonzalez... especially how slow he is.

 I acknowledge my insanity. It should be noted that a tacit acknowledgment of insanity qualifies as sanity because those who are insane are oblivious to the condition to begin with... I learned that from watching Brad Pitt interact with Kevin Spacey in Seven.

 More accolades. Thanks for the Re-tweets. Couldn't have had so many people hating Will Venable with out them.

There is nothing more pretentious than Re-Tweeting people who are giving you direct compliments. Fortunately I can't be held accountable for anything during the that two hour window of time.

 I love Major League references. Who doesn't?

 More pretense. It should be noted that Mat Latos lost out on a no-decision and took the loss during the Friday night game in question. That's all I'm saying.

 A lesson for you youngsters out there: when someone says something you don't like, remind them of all the things you've EVER done for them... especially the drinks you have bought them.

 I was very upset that Baseball Reference did not compile the game-log in a timely fashion on Friday night. I think my threat was reasonable.

 Evidence of how litigious a society we live in or an attempt to channel my inner Jerky Boys.

 My third attempt to harangue Dan Hayes. #Fail

 I don't know what this means. Nor does it matter.

 Dos Equis is terrible beer. Yet they have a phenomenal advertising campaign with The Most Interesting Man In The World. It reminds me of another intelligent campaign for a crappy beer...

 This threat worked, kind of... I ended up with 3 followers by the next morning. I knew 2 1/2 was a pipe dream.

A valid question...

 More of a Tweet for Steve Jobs.

I was/am serious. I would wear a lucha libre mask. And a cape. And it would be brown. The cape, that is.

 Math Tweets are gold.

 The next morning went very well, thank you for asking.

 Are you listening, Friarhood Steve? This could fill quite a bit of air time. Let me know...

Using Twitter is for the purposes of providing commentary. I just gave you commentary on top of commentary. This post is not dissimilar to the box office hit, Inception.

F&^% you Vill Wenable

THE PADRES. THEY HAD THE BASESLOADED....


DISCLAIMER..... I JUST DRANK 17 BALLAST POINT SCULPIN IPA'''''S. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH THAT ITS? AT 7.5 % ALCHOLOL PER PINT THAT'S LIKE 127% OR SOMETHING. I'M NOT SAYING I',M DRUNK.... JUST THAT I'M WILLING TO SPEAK FREELY. WILLL VENABLE...

I'VE HAD ENOUTGH OF WILL VENABLE. PEIPLE KEEP WANTING TO GIVE HIM A FREE PASS. OOOOOOH.... HIS DAD IS Max VENABLE. OOOOOOOOOH... HE'S A LATE BLooMER ON ACCOUNT OF BEING A BASKETBALL PLAYER. OOOOOOOOH... HE'S ARTICULATE AND sHIT. HE'S A GOOD F#67#ING INTERVIEW? F*uCK PRINCETON! LET'S GET REAL.

WITH THE BASES LOADED, WILL VENABLE AND ONE OUT WILFRED LOOKED AT 3 PITCHES. HE FOULED OFF TWO AND THEN ASWUNG AND A MISSED AT PITCH ####3. YOU RIDICULOUS JERK.

IT'S ONE THING IF YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT BASEBALL... WHICH YOY CERTAINLY ARE NOT... IT'S AnothER THING IF yOU'RE A DICK ON TOP OF IT ALL.... WHICH YOU CERTAINLY ARE. OHHHHHHHH.... I KNOW. YOU;RE A DiCK. EVRYONE RAVES ABOUT HOW NICE OF A GUY YOU ARE BUT I KNOW.... YOU'RE A REAL diCK. YOU ARE SO LICKY THAT BASEBALL REFERENCE DOESN'T HAVE THE GAME LOG FOR TONIGHT UP AND SHIT... I'M SURE THAT THE PADRES CHANCE OF TYING THE GAME WAS LIKE 107% WHEN YOU CAME TO BAT IN THE 9TH.... AND YOU blew IT!!!!!!!

YOU'RE ON NOTICE VENABLE. NO MORE FREE PASSES BECAUSE YOU'RE ARTICULATE AND SHIT!!!!

Trying to remember the 2010 San Diego Padres: Game 6 (Ludwick comes up HUGE... just not for the Padres)

You have entered a site engaged in a highly complex experiment... an experiment designed to test the parameters of my mind as well as yours... because you're like me... a dummy who forgets the important things in life, like baseball games.

Allow this series to be a catalyst to your Great Awakening

For series explanation and previous installments [go here]

GAME 6 of 18
May 27th, 2010
Padres v. Cardinals @Petco Park
(Thursday/Field Reserved 120)

WHAT I THINK I KNOW...

This was the first defeat I suffered at Petco Park in 2010. That's right. The Padres didn't lose... I did. And it wasn't a very close game but then it was. Weird, I know. I think the Padres were losing 7-0 at one point but battle back late to get it to 7-4 with runners on base. To no avail it was a defeat. I went with my buddies Al and Nate (me thinks)

***
Who pitched? No idea. Something tells me it was Wade LeBlanc but I can't be certain. I do know that Brendan Ryan hit a HR. How do I know? Because he has a bad looking mustache... and I remember stuff like that. I think Pujols jacked one out also. He does that from time to time.

How did the Padres score? Not very memorable details are these. But I do know that they made a battle of it. The Padres lost but I recall walking away from the game and remarking that they definitely have fight in them.

***

It was Throwback Thursday but for some strange reason many Padres fans dressed in red. I know, I know.... you think they were Cardinals fans... but they weren't. They were wearing Padre hats coupled with red shirts. It was odd. I guess they didn't get the memo that Cardinal Nation descends upon its opponent in a sea of red.

***
This is what I remember... and it doesn't feel like much.

Source: Disdain fro Padres fans dressed in red... and a ticket stub.

RESEARCH SAYS...

The Padres lost 8-3. Wade Leblanc was the losing pitcher for San Diego. He gave up 4 runs on 9 hits (2Ks/2 BB) in 5 2/3 innings of work. After a fast start to the season LeBlanc fell to 2-3 after this Thursday afternoon decision.

***
Check out the post-game video with Bud Black. It's interesting to hear Black give his analysis on LeBlanc's recent pitfalls... but then you have to keep watching the video... it's difficult to hear the questions being asked but Black's response is priceless: he just laughs. I think it was the UT's Tim Sullivan who asked about the team's perception of the sparse attendance up to that point in the season. Black laughed... and kept laughing... until he was crying... and then he fell down. It was great.

 ***
The winning pitcher was some guy named PJ Walters whose record improved to... wow... 1-0!!! Mr. Walters salutes you, San Diego Padres.

***
It was Throwback Thursday. The Padres wore their 1978 Away jerseys (Brown/Gold) and the Cardinals were decked out in their traditional gray road uniforms. Love that gray.

***
Brendan Ryan and Albert Pujols each hit HRs and there was no question they were clearing the fence in LF. Albert Pujols don't mess around.

***
The Padres were down 6-0. They were getting it handed to them by St. Louis. As the bottom of the 7th rolled around, San Diego decided to stage a rally. They banged it back to 6-3 but with a couple runners on the inning ended on a Chris Denorfia ground-out (6-4).

***

"I own Petco Park!"~Ryan Ludwick on 5/17/2010

The game was put out of reach when CHRIS LUDWICK WENT CRAZY!!!! He had his best game at Petco on May 27th, 2011... unfortunately he was parading as a Cardinal that afternoon.

Luddy banged a 2 run single in the top of the 8th, capping off a 3 for 5 performance (2RBI/1Run), and putting the game out of reach. You see? Ryan Ludwick is capable of great things! I don't care if he did have Albert Pujols and Matt Holiday hitting after him!

***
Padres reliever Adam Russell pitched 2 innings and surrendered 4 runs on 6 hits. Eat your heart out Tampa Bay. Eat your heart out.

***
Attendance: 20, 583. Meh...it was Thursday afternoon.

NOTABLE OMISSIONS...

San Diego lost the game but had already clinched the series after taking the first two games of the series. Amazingly, the Padres scored a lowly six runs in the series yet still came away victorious twice.

***
Their record stood at 28-19 at day's end. Good for 1st place (I presume???)

***
Will Venable looked good hitting lead-off (2 for 4 with 1BB/1R).

***
These were the days when both Chase Headley (.275) and David Eckstein (.297) had higher batting averages than Adrian Gonzalez (.268). Something about stuff averaging out over 162 games.

***
 Kyle Blanks had missed his 9th straight game... something about a sore elbow. Do tell!

***
Here's a notable quote from Albert Pujols:

"That's a good team," Pujols said. "It's a talented ballclub, and they play hard. They've got good pitching, a good bullpen. There's nothing to be surprised, that's why they're leading the West."

I recall Pujols saying something similar about the PENitentary and how it was the best in baseball.

Source: Baseball Reference and Padres.com

LASTING IMPRESSIONS...

I said it earlier and I'll say it again: at times it was very difficult to watch the Padres offense (in)action but there was no doubt that they always continued the fight. Kind of a nice thing to be able to hang your hat on.

***
Throwback Thursdays should rock the home 1978s versus the away 1978s. That's one jerk's opinion on the color brown.

***
I'm 3-1 as a fan at Petco Park in 2010. That's .750 baseball. That's 120-42! The Padres really should have put me on the payroll. Clearly... AJM is a talisman.

That's six games in the books and 12 more to go. And I believe it's Groundhog day so go revisit the previous 5 games.

Game 7: The Running of the Padres

Today the Padres scored 17 runs in the home opener.

The Braves scored 2 runs.

That's a win.

An account of the win? Glad you asked.

Is there a better way to describe the degree to which the floodgates opened in today's thrashing of the Atlanta Braves than the video below (click below to continue reading)?

Eh, the video isn't that great. It would have been better if the music was Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner......so why don't we do that........go ahead and open another tab so you have Avenging Jack Murphy opened twice and then click this link [here].  By clicking said link you will be directed to a video......but we're only going here for the purpose of getting the audio.......once you have clicked play return to the tab opened to Avenging Jack Murphy and play the embedded video above. Now it'll be really cool, giving it an apocalyptic feel similar to the hellfire that rained down on Petco Park today.

I'll keep this brief as I've already spent too much time syncing up Pomplona, Spain and the Mekong Delta:

• We scored 17 runs after struggling mightily over the last few days. This was nice to see. It was noted by Dick/Mud/Tony Sr. that the Padres looked as though they were taking an entirely different approach at the plate, hence the success. Perhaps. Is it also a possibility that Jair Jurrjens and Jo-Jo Reyes were ineffectively wild? It's easy to lay off when a pitcher is missing the zone in a real bad way, as were both of those Braves hurlers. Either way, you have to give credit to the Padres hitters because they took full advantage of their opportunities.
• Kevin Correia looked great. I'm sure it was difficult to get in a rhythm with the bottom of the innings lasting so long. He got the win and I was happy to see a hometown guy get the honor of starting the opener.

• The talk of today's game will be of the near-cycles hit by both Will Venable and Kyle Blanks so let's just get it on the record for posterity: after 40 years of cycle futility we will see one hit this season. My money is on Venable but I have no doubt that Everth Cabrera and Kyle Blanks both have it in them as well.
• Still loving the work that Chase Headley is doing (2 for 4 with a 2B and no Ks). Good stuff.
• Will Venable is heating up and turning into the RBI guy. 
• Everth Cabrera is struggling. Let us not forget, he's still young.
• I wish I could say more about Braves phenom Jayson Heyward......but that game was about San Diego all afternoon long.
• The Padres are 3-4.

A comment: Why weren't fans standing when Venable came to the plate with his first opportunity at the cycle? Pretty weak. Or was I just getting a bad angle on the TV? You tell me...

[EDITOR'S NOTE 10:45 AM]
***Friend of the Blog, Matthew, astutely points out that the 17 runs scored by the Padres were in fact ordained by Providence when it was decided that Philip Rivers (#17) would throw out the first pitch. Avenging Jack Murphy knew this detail but excluded it from the game recap on account of being a lollygagger and general shirker of duties. Cheers Matt.

Corey Brock [padres.com]
[Box Score]

Game 2: The last time I saw Chris Young pitch I tried to break Wade Boggs' record for beers consumed on a trip

Hey, the Padres won 6-3, placing them on the statistical fast track to an 81-81 season. That's .500 ball in the vernacular of the National Past Time.

Chris Young looked fantastic, which brings me to........ the last time I saw him play.

My buddy Al and I decided to go up to Anaheim to see the Padres play last summer during the inter-league schedule. Thought it would be good stuff as we'd never been to the Big A before and it would be an opportunity to ride the train, which is never dull. At that time the ol' legend of Wade Boggs' drinking prowess had crept forward from the recesses of my mind......you know the  legend don't you? It's been estimated by teammates of Wade Boggs that he had drank more than 50 cans of Miller Lite on a cross country commute to Seattle. Al and I figured we'd give the Chicken man a run for his money.......didn't work out that well........just had to pee a lot. What does this have to do with game #2 in 2010? Well....



That particular game was the last time that Chris Young had taken the mound before being sidelined for the duration of 2009. Let me tell you, CY was horrific. Just terrible. Had never seen him pitch so poorly and frankly I wanted a refund......from CY!!! I thought he should have paid me for the disgrace and my time and effort. After I found out his shoulder was injured in a bad way, about 64% of me felt like a d*ck.

Anyways.....he looked awesome tonight, and that's what matters. When you can bamboozle batters with an 86 mph fastball, the Gods are on your side. Padres. God. Was there any question? Let us move on.....

I've been jocking Everth Cabrera hard. He's "the straw that stirs the drink" and any other bit of hyperbole I can toss at the kid. But was I right? He goes 3 for 4 with a 2B, 3B, SB and 4 RBI. Hey, Bud Black! ECab should be hitting leadoff not eighth.

Chase Headley is looking good at the plate. He was 2 for 4 when he crushed a looooooong F8 in the 9th. I'm encouraged.

I have also jocked Will Venable in a big way......and he hit his first homerun.

Adrian Gonzalez is on a torrid pace after hitting his second home run in as many games. I suck at math sometimes......what's his current pace?
[Box Score]

A Padre Fan's Observation: Elijah Dukes Is Not Good

Elijah Dukes is not a good baseball player.

In the top of the second he hit a weak grounder that SS Everth Cabrera was going to have difficulty grabbing and throwing. The type of play that could possibly induce a wild off balanced throw. Sure enough, ECab floats the throw high ......but Dukes never even looks into foul territory as he beats out the throw. It's of little import as the ball bounces into the stands but he had to be told to take his base which is just bad baseball. Always look into foul territory as you run through the bag as your immediate recognition of an errant throw is what will earn you the extra bag. Free advice for ya Dukes.

A half inning later I saw Dukes make a play in the outfield, a play which ensured that this post would be written. After Kevin Kouzmanoff led off with a booming double, Will Venable followed with a sharp single to the right fielder Dukes. Dukes scooped the ball cleanly and proceeded to airmail both his cut-off man and catcher, allowing Venable to take 2B. Once again bad baseball by Elijah Dukes.

As I readied myself to write with the Friars up 2-0......up stepped Mr. Dukes in the top of the 7th against a dueling Clayton Richard. Dukes worked a walk. Good stuff. Then got picked off. What happens next? Former Padre Josh Bard launches a bomb but it only halves the lead instead of tying it for the Nationals, because Elijah Dukes is not a smart baseball player (It should also be noted that the pick was really bad. Richard is a lefty and he induced Dukes to lean back to 1B and then Dukes shuffled off thinking he was in good shape.....rally killer!).

Dare I publish this before the game even ends? Elijah Dukes has plenty of time to eff the puppy even further....

Imagine that? I found a picture with Elijah Dukes screwing something up!

Venable Makes Contact With Pujols' Man Purse carrying Arm

When I was watching the Padres play the Cardinals on Saturday night I took note of a particular play involving Albert Pujols and the Padres' Will Venable. Venable had hit a hard grounder to 1B and Pujols fielded it cleanly, decided to make the play on his own, and ran towards first.....but he did not run that fast. As he crossed over the bag a blazing Venable burst threw the picture nearly beating Pujols for an infield single. Two things struck me about this play:

1. How hard Venable had run out what seemed to be a routine grounder which in my opinion is a good thing. With all due respect to the best player on our team (Adrian Gonzalez), he rarely runs hard on ground-balls. Effort is good.
   
2. The second thing was how I really felt that had Pujols been just a split second slower in getting to the bag he genuinely would have deserved to get knocked into next week. You can't lolly-gag through the baseline when your opponent is playing for a job next year. Whatever.....there was no harm so there was no foul....I went to bed.

Now on Sunday afternoon I abandoned the game after Caesar Carillo loaded the bases a second time but upon checking in on the final I saw that there was a bit of an altercation that had taken place. Low and behold.........Pujols and Venable. Will Venable running out a grounder, ducking his shoulder a bit to absorb the tag and then getting the stare-down from King Albert. I watched the video and it's one of the most innocuous bits of contact I've seen between players. I saw Everth Cabrera destroy Cardinal SS Brendan Ryan in trying to break up a double play, and in my opinion, Cabrera had slid too far out of the baseline. Ryan said nothing about it.

Here is an excerpt from padres.com regarding the Pujols/Venable incident:

About the only fireworks came in the sixth inning when Venable topped a ball down the first-base line that St. Louis first baseman Albert Pujols picked up and tagged Venable as he ran by. After the play, Venable turned around and saw Pujols staring at him.

"I asked him what his problem was. Anytime that someone stops to stare at you ... you're wondering what his problem is," Venable said. "I certainly don't care enough about Albert Pujols to continue with anything that might cause friction. It's not that big of a deal, just a lot of nothing."

Pujols, apparently, saw it differently, claiming Venable more or less threw an elbow into him as he passed.

"He did. Last night he tried to run me over like he was playing freaking football. A play like that, you don't try to run people over. Next time, if I would have known, I would probably hit him in the face with the glove, tag him right there," said Pujols, who earlier in the game hit his 40th home run of the season.

"He did it last night, and today again, he threw an elbow. And he was out by a lot. It wasn't necessary, even to avoid a tag. The ground ball that I had, what is he going to do? Try to knock the ball out of my glove? Last night he jammed my wrist a little bit and tonight he tried to throw an elbow. That's pretty stupid."

Venable denied trying to throw an elbow to disrupt the play.

Are you seriously crying about this Albert?

I generally like Albert Pujols. The only thing I've really heard bad about him (I think it was him) is that he tends to eyeball umpires a bit when he gets a strike call against him; kind of a "Do you know who I am? If I didn't swing it's not a strike!", air about him. His above quotes make him sound like a crybaby. Grow a pair and go after Venable if you think he was trying to hurt you. Don't give a man the ol' "Do you know who I am?", stare. You're asking for a fight then.

Good on ya Will Venable. Keep playing hard. Don't take sh*t from anyone especially Albert Pujols

"Fu*k Albert Pujols and his man purse!", said Will Venable (or something to that effect)

Video of Sunday afternoon incident [Padres.com]