Deciphering Darren Smith Questions at the All Star Break

Each day when Darren Smith gets behind the microphone at XX1090 his listeners forget a very simple truth: Darren Smith is writer.

One cannot speak for 3 hours to a captive audience without having first written down research notes and probing questions for those he interviews each day. Darren Smith is not a writer of prose (although he certainly may be in his free time) but the quality of questions he writes for his guests are perhaps the most essential element of his successful show.

Last week Darren interviewed Padres MLB beat writer Corey Brock coming out of the All-Star break. A week after the fact I've obtained the original questions (typed in italics) intended for Brock and they display only a minor resemblance to the questions that were asked on air (typed in bold) . . .


The original questions give the listener an inkling of how much things can change within the course of a single show, and segment for that matter. With financial obligations to sponsors and their coveted advertisement spots, the radio host is always up against a clock, which invariably leads to changes on the fly. We see this with the questions designated for Corey Brock. We also see the humor as well as Darren's professed goal of high IQ radio with a splash of absurdity . . .

"If you were to say in a couple of sentences, how would you describe the first half of the season, the first three months plus of the 2012 campaign?"

If you were to use a comparison to movies featuring Nicholas Cage, which Cage performance would best describe the 2012 Padres? Captain Corelli's Mandolin or Ghost Rider? a couple of sentences, how would you describe the first half of the season, the first three months plus of the 2012 un-televised disastercampaign?

"What has really been the impact of all these injuries? Where has it hurt 'em? Has it hurt 'em at the lower levels, has it hurt 'em at the big league level? What's really been the biggest impact of them all?"

Has this team even begun to evaluate what they're doing wrong with pitchers? We've got torn elbows and shoulders. Pulled lats . . . What doe s a lat do? We got Carlos Quentin's bad knees. Issues of vertigo. Meh! What's next? Yeast infections?

"Do you think in hindsight, the label that they got or the ranking that they got in terms of farm system, being the number one farm system, do you think that that was accurate in hindsight?"

The Padres couldn't possibly have anything rated number one could they? But seriously, on a scale where Kate Upton is a 10, and Anne Hathaway is a 6 can we honestly say that the Padres score an Erin Burnett? Which of course, Corey will tell you, is an outstanding 9.6. Am I right, Corey? Erin Burnett a 9.6? Sound about right?

"Pick one of the trade candidates, since we don't have time for all of them, and we want to pace ourselves here for the next couple of weeks. Which decision do you think is the most interesting of the usual suspects of guys, that the Padres, that we hear, the Padres might be interested in trading?"

Please tell me that Will Venable won't be offered up for a trade, Corey. It's too entertaining to listen to the twitter folk berate his play and critique his hairline. His hairline? People seriously criticize his hairline which, I imagine, many people would kill for. No Will Venable, right Corey?

"What's happening differently with Carlos Quentin than what we saw getting out of the gates and getting off the DL?"

What's happening differently with Carlos Quentin? Is Carlos Quentin afraid of PETCO Park like Ryan Ludwick was or is his knee still bothering him? Or really, honestly, is he just not seeing any pitches because the line-up around him is horse-bleep? Or was it Comic-Con and all the weirdos walking around the Gaslamp? Did he get spooked?

"Who do you think wins the NL West?"

Tim Lincecum is firing up the bong again isn't he? Too many double doubles from In-N-Out?

"When do you think, or do you think, we'll see Nick Hundley again?"

Who's losing their front office job over the Nick Hundley extension?

I liked those original questions. I think they were Erin Burnett quality.

Will Venable in 2012: i TOO aM bullISH

Last night I listened to a Darren Smith interview podcast with MLB.com's Corey Brock. Each of the fellas stated that they were bullish on Will Venable in 2012 to which I quickly replied via twitter:

After the posting of that tweet Dan Hayes of the North County Times affirmed that he too was bullish on Will Venable in 2012.

I had to think about this for a minute; to process; to try and make sense of it all. We have three knowledgeable guys here, all having seen Will Venable throughout Spring Training and his work with new hitting coach Phil Plantier, and perhaps they have the requisite insider information to make such claims. At that moment I decided that i TOO aM bullISH.

I am bullish that Will Venable's hairline will keep him in the running to become a kung-fu fighting Shaolin monk.

I am bullish that there will be mention of Will Venable's Princeton education after giving a particularly introspective interview. By me and the interviewee.

I am bullish that Will Venable will curse at a blogger for an illicit videotaping incident at which time everyone will comment on how surprising the outburst actually was . . . because, well, Will's a really nice guy.

I am bullish that Will Venable will hit a ball really, really far and that we will all stand mouths agape and echo, "Will Venable hit that ball really, really far." We'll all smile at one another in delight as we fight over the last Hodad's slider and spill our $9.50 beer from Ballast Point.

I am bullish that Will Venable will hit a few booming triples, each one carrying the exact same sentiment from the crowd: "This is the day that the Padres finally hit for the cycle. Yippee!"

I am bullish THAT NonE OF THIs wilL MAttEr!!!!

each oF theDSE Special MOMents WILL all Come FEW and faR beTWeen and that viLL WeNABLe's stat lines wiLL BE hOrrendous BECause thaT's WHO HE IS! He's a tEaSE. viLL WeNABLe TEASES US! HE toRREMENTS us!!! He driVES US to MAKe POOOr decisIONS withOUr LIVEs! WHy? whY? WHY? Why do YOU dO it tO us viLL?!!!!

So am I bullish on Will Venable in 2012? Hell, I guess I am.

*The first cycle will be hit this year. It will be collected by light hitting Andy Parrino and everyone will be amazed because it was supposed to be Will Venable or Cameron Maybin. It's ok. Maybin will hit one in June.

Padres, Dead Kennedys, and A Holiday In Peoria

After a short drive I tried to piece together my upcoming trip to Peoria. As the legs of the event began to fall into place in my mind the Dead Kennedys' Holiday in Cambodia began to play on the radio. And as any fool will tell you, Cambodia and Peoria rhyme perfectly, so I began to pen a song.

This song is based on my one experience in Peoria last season, which inexplicably found me in the Press Box at the Peoria Sports Complex viewing the first game of Spring Training. The song is also pieced together from the musings of Corey Brock of Padres.com and the North County Times' Dan Hayes, two authority figures on Peoria Arizona . . .


I suggest that you simultaneously play the music of the Dead Kennedys and sing my lyrics loudly enough to drown out Jello Biafra.

So you been to Arizona
For a year or two
And you know you've seen it all
Iconic hookups at the bar
Urinal rendezvous from afar
I guess the writing was on the wall


Play the Atari's theme
To charge up the team
On the park's five grand stereo
Braggin' that you know
How Bill Center feels old
And the Press box got so much soul


It's time to hear what you most fear
Nickleback will not help you here
Brace yourself, dear Friiii - - ar:
Brace yourself, dear Friiii - -ar:


It's a holiday in Peoria
It's tough wearin' #75, kid, but it's life
It's a holiday in Peoria
Don't forget to call your wife
[* To the poor guy who has little chance of making the squad]


See guys like Hoffy get to teach
Ausmus shows a catcher how to reach
Blacky and Balls work with the arms
Corey, Dan, and Uncle Ted observe
The next big thing's 12-to-6 curve
But the unproven 'pen sounds alarms


Well you'll work harder
With a radar gun in your back
For a Waffle House meal a day
A slave for Salty's
Chips and salsa 'till you starve
Then your guts are ruined until May
[*A message for the Padres fan turned intern]


Now you can go where people drink in the sun
Now you can go where fans watch players run
What you need, my Padre:
What you need, my Padre:


Is a holiday in Peoria
Where people dress in blue, sand, orange, and brown
A holiday in Peoria
Where the cracks of bats will sound


Bud Black, Bud Black, Bud Black, Bud Black, [etc]


And it's a holiday in Peoria
Where you'll do what you're told
A holiday in Peoria
Where the Arizona slums got so much soul


Bud Black!

RJ's Fro and Ducksnorts are accomplished musicians so I expect that our trip next weekend will yield an acoustic production of this song -- during our Holiday in Peoria.

You can't always get what you want

I really want to like Orlando Hudson. Let me amend that statement -- I really don't want to dislike guys who play for the Padres. 

I don't care to critique guys I ultimately need to cheer for in order for the Padres to attain success.

Yet here I am, during the week before position players are required to report to Peoria, Arizona and I've already ripped into Orlando Hudson twice. I'm bashing a guy who showed up early to camp!

But it could all be solved quite easily . . .


I guess it all comes down to the roles of those writing the stories: beat writers and columnists.

Perhaps it's not within the purview of beat writers to ask the dirty little questions (see: critical) I have in mind, on account of needing access to ballplayers every day. The columnist (and blogger) can get away with the scathing criticism more readily than the guy covering the beat.

So what is it that I want, you ask? 

I want Orlando Hudson to be asked, not about tossing the ball into the stands with two outs last season, but his comments afterwards regarding it being funny. Orlando Hudson probably thinks it was a benign comment but the truth is that a great deal of animosity towards him was developed when, on a last place team, he was able to laugh it off. Ask him about that.

I want Orlando Hudson to address his comments toward fans who booed Brad Hawpe last season. I love that he stood up for his teammate but I loathe that he called out fans with his condescending and entitled remarks.

I want Orlando Hudson to comment on his Twitter account, although verified as his, was clearly being operated by someone else -- and was ripping into critical fans.

That's what I want. I'm not likely to get it but a fan can dream. The odds are good that I wouldn't like O-Dog's answers anyway. Orlando Hudson, in his insulated little world, appears to simply think the way he thinks. But if he recanted, even a bit, I could get in the guy's corner.

****
On a side note:

I imagine yesterday was the day Orlando Hudson was made completely available to reporters as each of the guys (Corey, Dan, and Bill) submitted a story on the Padres second baseman. I can see Orlando Hudson holding court in the middle of the locker room, talking a mile-a-minute, slapping the rear-ends of new guys like Andrew Cashner and Edinson Volquez as they make it to the showers. I digress.

My point? Look at the variation in quotes from Corey Brock's article and Bill Center's.

Corey Brock:

"I guess when you go out and play hard ... things like that happen. If you don't play hard, it comes back that he don't give a damn, he don't care," Hudson said. "You go out and keep doing what you're doing. I'm not going to change the way I play."

Bill Center:

“I guess when you go out and play hard, things like that happen. If you don’t play hard, it comes back that you don’t care. You go out and keep doing what you’re doing. I’m not going to change the way I play.

 Assuming they were huddled around Hudson at the same time I find that kind of weird. If 'kind of weird' is a bit vague, I mean to say that quote #2 looks cleaned up. I guess the UT is a family fish-wrap now.

El Cajon Brewing Company: The Padres and Pints Rapid Fire Poll

At the El Cajon Brewing Company edition of Padres and Pints (Episode 2) Corey Brock of Padres.com was besieged by a set of carefully crafted questions. Now it's your turn . . .
Originally we asked Corey the following: "You're on your way to Spring Training. Better music as you pass through Yuma: Band of Horses or Nickleback?"

This was a cheap-shot at Nickleback because that's the thing to do these days. And we all know the answer is Band of Horses. Let's amend the question slightly:




How dare you Canada. HOW. DARE. YOU.

 Next we gave Corey the option of being an inanimate object belonging to a famous ballplayer:




A very difficult question. Dave Parker was cool but also a cokehead. Barry Bonds was (is) a jerk looking for a competitive advantage. It's a toss up.

How about an earring from a specific time and place versus a heroic mustache?




Jack Morris won his game. Don't we have to go with the 'stache?

Different weather conditions can often influence our choice of beverage:




To head for the mountains or not to . . .

The most important question came in the form of political news analysis and delivery:

Norah O'Donnell has a masters in International Studies from Georgetown. That's all I'm saying . . .

There's your rapid fire for this week. Stat tuned for the Port Brewing /Lost Abbey edition of rapid fire.

Over At The Fro: Padres and Pints Episode 2 (part 2) at El Cajon Brewing Company

Here's the conclusion to Padres and Pints at the El Cajon Brewing Company featuring Corey Brock: Episode 2: Part 2.

Over At The 'Fro: Padres And Pints Episode 2 (part 1)

Last week we met at The El Cajon Brewing Company to talk with Padres beat-writer, Corey Brock. Enjoy part 1 of this episode in all its splendor* over at RJ'sFro.

*The volume/sound doesn't suck this time.

Padres and Pints Episode 2 Preview: El Cajon Brewing Company

Last week we met with Corey Brock over at the new brewery in El Cajon -- appropriately called The El Cajon Brewing Company. The ECB is home to El Cajones IPA, a real fine beer. It is also the home of a nice quiet area amongst the barrels of beer, perfect for filming.

What did the Padres beat-writer for MLB have to say about Josh Byrnes' busy winter? Here's the preview to Episode 2:

Talking Baseball With Padres Beat Writer Corey Brock

Yesterday we gathered in the name of Padres baseball and beers over at the Randy Jones All-American grill. RJ's Fro arranged the meeting with Corey Brock of MLB.com and it was open to all.

What did we talk about?

Sorry but the conversation was off the record. You should have been there. It was enlightening and the pitchers were 50% off.

Get yourself there next time.

Follow Corey Brock on twitter: @FollowThePadres

Game 7: The Running of the Padres

Today the Padres scored 17 runs in the home opener.

The Braves scored 2 runs.

That's a win.

An account of the win? Glad you asked.

Is there a better way to describe the degree to which the floodgates opened in today's thrashing of the Atlanta Braves than the video below (click below to continue reading)?

Eh, the video isn't that great. It would have been better if the music was Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner......so why don't we do that........go ahead and open another tab so you have Avenging Jack Murphy opened twice and then click this link [here].  By clicking said link you will be directed to a video......but we're only going here for the purpose of getting the audio.......once you have clicked play return to the tab opened to Avenging Jack Murphy and play the embedded video above. Now it'll be really cool, giving it an apocalyptic feel similar to the hellfire that rained down on Petco Park today.

I'll keep this brief as I've already spent too much time syncing up Pomplona, Spain and the Mekong Delta:

• We scored 17 runs after struggling mightily over the last few days. This was nice to see. It was noted by Dick/Mud/Tony Sr. that the Padres looked as though they were taking an entirely different approach at the plate, hence the success. Perhaps. Is it also a possibility that Jair Jurrjens and Jo-Jo Reyes were ineffectively wild? It's easy to lay off when a pitcher is missing the zone in a real bad way, as were both of those Braves hurlers. Either way, you have to give credit to the Padres hitters because they took full advantage of their opportunities.
• Kevin Correia looked great. I'm sure it was difficult to get in a rhythm with the bottom of the innings lasting so long. He got the win and I was happy to see a hometown guy get the honor of starting the opener.

• The talk of today's game will be of the near-cycles hit by both Will Venable and Kyle Blanks so let's just get it on the record for posterity: after 40 years of cycle futility we will see one hit this season. My money is on Venable but I have no doubt that Everth Cabrera and Kyle Blanks both have it in them as well.
• Still loving the work that Chase Headley is doing (2 for 4 with a 2B and no Ks). Good stuff.
• Will Venable is heating up and turning into the RBI guy. 
• Everth Cabrera is struggling. Let us not forget, he's still young.
• I wish I could say more about Braves phenom Jayson Heyward......but that game was about San Diego all afternoon long.
• The Padres are 3-4.

A comment: Why weren't fans standing when Venable came to the plate with his first opportunity at the cycle? Pretty weak. Or was I just getting a bad angle on the TV? You tell me...

[EDITOR'S NOTE 10:45 AM]
***Friend of the Blog, Matthew, astutely points out that the 17 runs scored by the Padres were in fact ordained by Providence when it was decided that Philip Rivers (#17) would throw out the first pitch. Avenging Jack Murphy knew this detail but excluded it from the game recap on account of being a lollygagger and general shirker of duties. Cheers Matt.

Corey Brock [padres.com]
[Box Score]

Donavan Tate Signing: Better Not Be Pulp Fiction

Back in June when Padres vice president of player development, Grady Fuson, made the below statement, the nature of it took me by surprise. Since it was included in an article by Corey Brock yesterday (August 16th) it needed to be revisited:

"We've kind of said, worst-case scenario, maybe a Mike Cameron ... somebody that hits .240, .250, a lot of punch-outs maybe, but big bombs and plays as good a defense as you get. Durable, athletic, steals a lot of bases," Fuson said in June of Tate.

"Best-case scenario, you got the whole ball of wax. You got an Andruw Jones or something in his best years."

Wow! Worst case: Donavan Tate=Mike Cameron.....

In the words of John Travolta's Vincent Vega (when discussing Lance's "product" surpassing the quality of that Amsterdam sh*t): "That's a bold statement."

If Mike Cameron is the basement for young Donavan Tate we better be hearing good news today. A $6 million dollar signing bonus, with the ability to control him for 6 years, would be a bargain for talent like that.