The Reliever Known As "Edward Mujica"..... Is Dead To Me

There has been little to complain about this season. You'd be a fool to complain about anything when the Padres were universally picked last by the pundits yet hold down first place as of 9:30 AM this glorious morning. But as fans are wont to do they complain about things they would like to see improved.

I've yet to buy into the idea/complaint of adding a bat to our meager offense. I hate the idea of giving up key parts of our farm system for a bat that might not be a true difference maker (see: Joe Randa, Todd Walker, Mike Pagliarulo, et al). Adding a bat could upset not only the farm but clubhouse chemistry and more importantly, the stellar defense we have seen solidify our standing atop the NL West. Anthony Gwynn may hit like shit but he runs like Mays (to turn a Major League phrase). As such, the add-a-bat complaint is not one I subscribe to at this time.

The second complaint is the, dare I say, universal request to see Edward Mujica DFA'd. There doesn't appear to be a Friar soul who doesn't bury face into palm each time the Venezuelan enters in the late innings. I know that if I sat down with Bud Black he'd give me the "glass half full" assessment of Mujica; the opposition is hitting a paltry .200 against him. To which I would reply to Bud with the "glass half empty" reality; roughly 33 % of the time those infrequent hits fly out of the ball yard......which ain't good when you're trying to keep a game close. So what to do with Mr. Mujica? (click "Read More" to continue)



Had the Spanish never came to the "New World" we'd likely see the Maya sacrificing young Edward Mujica as a spoil of war to the feathered serpent Kukulkan.

Absent a reality that will allow Padres fans to see Mujica's heart offered to the Gods (see: Designated For Assignment) prior to being unceremoniously dumped down the facade of a Maya pyramid we'll have to settle for something far more tame. A name change of sorts.

I can no longer utter the name of Edward Mujica and henceforth he shall be known by the following anagram: Add Warm Juice. It is the perfect designation for our shaky middle reliever as the "Juice" is the invariable kerosene he seems to douse late inning fires with on a nightly basis. We can only hope that future innings don't require Bud Black to Add Warm Juice; as we'll know trouble is on the horizon.

You are dead to me, Edward Mujica.

Enter*: Add Warm Juice!

*Please don't let him enter, Bud.

"How Dare You RJ's Fro!" I say, "How Dare you Blogging Sirs!"

Not so fast RJ's Fro. 

In the last 34 days I've posted exactly two columns. One was about Dick Enberg's Wave Disdain and the other was a Memorial Day honorary re-post......so we'll call it one post in the last month.

A blog with one post in a month? Horrible!

Now it's so bad that I'm writing posts about not writing posts. A Taoist would suggest I've reached some sort of universal balance.......I would say that I'm the "Worst Blogger Ever!

Yet here I am having to defend my true status as worst blogger in the northern hemisphere because RJ's Fro decided to unilaterally declare themselves the worst. The AUDACITY!!!!!! No poll? You didn't formally poll the blog-o-sphere for one simple reason; you know your ranking wouldn't have solidified you as the Top Bottom-Feeder-Of-Blogs! And how could it have? You have a video interview with the great Bob Chandler whilst drinking BEERS; which in my opinion ranks you in the top three of all San Diego blogs despite your recent dearth of posts. So cool it fellas and leave the mantle of "Worst" right where it belongs; in Avenging Jack Murphy's blogging backyard.

I apologize to the Faithful Eleven for my lackadaisical June effort. Look forward to more stupid posts about stupid stuff. These posts shall include the possibility of a new AJM Matron Saint but will not be limited to mundane Dick Enberg analysis.........which incidentally may require a call to Wimbledon to get Dick back here ASAP if our young Friars get swept by Colorado today.

I'm back!
[Edit] 1:15 pm
I'm back....maybe!

Dick Enberg Analysis: "The Plague of All Sporting Events"

I've been very busy and by the time I acquire any sort of legitimate freedom to write, I much prefer going to bed. In fact I don't even have time to write this.....the Padres are in a 1-1 game in the bottom of the 8th inning in New York and I have work obligations to attend to.....but I must mention one piece of Dick Enberg greatness amongst  the usual sea of Enberg-Announcing-Criticism (usually from me).

SETTING THE STAGE
It's the top of the 8th of a 1-1 game. Jose Reyes has touched Clayton Richard for a game tying HR only a half inning earlier. San Diego's Lance Zawazski has doubled in the 8th, leaving the go ahead run a mere 180 feet away with one out. High drama to be sure. In what manner do Mets fans react to such a dramatic scenario, you ask? They begin to do........THE WAVE........in a tie game.....top of the 8th......

As I recognize this ridiculousness, Dick Enberg enters to make a prophetic comment:

"There it is. The wave. The Plague of All Sporting Events. It made its way from Philadelphia."

Good on ya Mr. Dick Enberg. GOOD-ON-YOU!

Gotta go...I'm way busy!