The Reliever Known As "Edward Mujica"..... Is Dead To Me

There has been little to complain about this season. You'd be a fool to complain about anything when the Padres were universally picked last by the pundits yet hold down first place as of 9:30 AM this glorious morning. But as fans are wont to do they complain about things they would like to see improved.

I've yet to buy into the idea/complaint of adding a bat to our meager offense. I hate the idea of giving up key parts of our farm system for a bat that might not be a true difference maker (see: Joe Randa, Todd Walker, Mike Pagliarulo, et al). Adding a bat could upset not only the farm but clubhouse chemistry and more importantly, the stellar defense we have seen solidify our standing atop the NL West. Anthony Gwynn may hit like shit but he runs like Mays (to turn a Major League phrase). As such, the add-a-bat complaint is not one I subscribe to at this time.

The second complaint is the, dare I say, universal request to see Edward Mujica DFA'd. There doesn't appear to be a Friar soul who doesn't bury face into palm each time the Venezuelan enters in the late innings. I know that if I sat down with Bud Black he'd give me the "glass half full" assessment of Mujica; the opposition is hitting a paltry .200 against him. To which I would reply to Bud with the "glass half empty" reality; roughly 33 % of the time those infrequent hits fly out of the ball yard......which ain't good when you're trying to keep a game close. So what to do with Mr. Mujica? (click "Read More" to continue)



Had the Spanish never came to the "New World" we'd likely see the Maya sacrificing young Edward Mujica as a spoil of war to the feathered serpent Kukulkan.

Absent a reality that will allow Padres fans to see Mujica's heart offered to the Gods (see: Designated For Assignment) prior to being unceremoniously dumped down the facade of a Maya pyramid we'll have to settle for something far more tame. A name change of sorts.

I can no longer utter the name of Edward Mujica and henceforth he shall be known by the following anagram: Add Warm Juice. It is the perfect designation for our shaky middle reliever as the "Juice" is the invariable kerosene he seems to douse late inning fires with on a nightly basis. We can only hope that future innings don't require Bud Black to Add Warm Juice; as we'll know trouble is on the horizon.

You are dead to me, Edward Mujica.

Enter*: Add Warm Juice!

*Please don't let him enter, Bud.