You see, as I found these three quarters, I felt like the Padres. More precisely I felt like Padres General Manager/Philosopher, Josh Byrnes. I now had a better handle on what it means to be a Big Believer In Belief.
Having difficulty understanding the significance of this event*? Let me explain.
*Yes I just referred to finding three quarters as an "event".
I don't believe in paying for parking downtown. Others feel similarly. In fact it's probably the biggest complaint* Padres fans have regarding a trip downtown for a game. Because I'm loathe to pay for parking I do my best to minimize this cost. This is possible to do. All it takes is the right parking meter and a few quarters. What do I mean by the right meter? There are meters downtown that allow you to park for up to 9 hours and it only costs 0.50 cents/hour. So if a game starts at 7:05 and you're intent on arriving early (meters must be plugged until 6pm) so you can get yourself to Lolita's before the line goes nuts then you can likely park for less than a buck. You see what I'm saying? Quarters are like gold in this situation.
*Aside from the regular complaints about the fences, uniforms, run suppressing atmospheric conditions, constant strikeouts, poor defense, Bud Black's peculiar line-ups, belligerent ushers who despise cheering fans who stand, inability to lock up players long term, and the absence of Gulden's brown mustard at concession stands.
Quarters are like gold. Except they're not. They're important in the context I've just explained but I still only found 0.75 cents. With inflation, I can hardly purchase a can of soda-pop with that much money. Those quarters have value but when all is told, they won't get me too far down the road of life. Those quarters are a symbol, though. Those quarters are like the arms Josh Byrnes continues to acquire in an effort to stem the endless stream of pitchers headed to the disabled list in 2012.
While I basked in the thrill of finding three quarters Josh Byrnes one-upped me by scouring the earth and finding four: Jeff Supan, Jason Marquis, Ross Ohlendorf, Kipp Wells.
Yes, these guys are the quarters beneath my seat. These individuals are the discolored little quarters that, due to melting kid snacks, have become caked in a syrupy residue, consequently absorbing all stray hairs and synthetic fibers found in the bowels of my car. I intend no disrespect to these gentlemen as human beings nor do I wish to offend the utility of the quarter.
Signed as a free agent in February, 37 year-old Jeff Supan went 2-3 with a 5.28 ERA before being given his walking papers in early June. Jeff Supan was an old quarter, found resting idly in some California restaurant. He's not even one of those new, cool, quarters representing a state. Jeff Supan was just an old worn down quarter from 1975, now likely taken out of circulation forever.
An old 1978 quarter in the form of 33 year-old Jason Marquis and his mustache rolled into town from Minnesota on May 29th. As a Padre, Marquis carries an unimpressive 1-3 record, but a spectacular 2.05 ERA. Perhaps he's more like the cool 2001 New York quarter emblazoned with that famous gift from the French, the Statue of Liberty? With a surname like Marquis it's clear that he too was a gift from the French. Jason Marquis is liberty personified!
Ross Ohlendorf is a youngster at 29 years of age. He's like the bright beacon of hope that is the star etched on the 2004 Texas State quarter. Ross Ohlendorf is 1-0. Ross Ohlendorf has struck out 12 batters in 13.2 innings. Ross Ohlendorf's name isn't even Ross. It's Curtis. With the complete absence of caked debris so often found on stray quarters, Curtis Ross Ohlendorf is a shiny piece of prosperity!
The most recent quarter found by Josh Byrnes, goes by the name of Kip Wells, formerly of the Chicago White Sox*. The former 1st round draft pick out of Texas is similar to that quarter known as Curtis Ohlendorf -- but without the star. Wells is older than dirt and that star has worn away. Last night against the Houston Astros, Wells took the loss while surrendering 5 runs, only 2 of which were earned. But when you throw 5 innings, giving up 7 hits and 3 walks the odds are never in your favor.
*The city of San Diego acknowledged this kindness from Chicago by granting exclusive negotiating rights to former North County Times beat writer, Dan Hayes.
What does all of this mean? 'Tis difficult to surmise. The only thing I can be certain of is that the next time I go downtown, my parking is paid for . . . and the odds are good that Josh Byrnes will be showing off some new (old) quarter he came upon.
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