Upholding An Ideal: The Chivalrous Defense Of Brett Fav-ruh

I'm not a Photoshop guy....imagine it says Vikings

Fortuitous timing and all, with the Vikes and Brett Favre squaring off against his former lover, the Green Bay Packers. Below you will find a text message transcript between myself and The Fav-ruh-pologist from last Sunday. I was in the car and heard on the radio that the Vikings rally had just stalled out and they looked like they were going to drop one at home to the 49ers....so I started talking trash. Obviously I texted too soon because Favre had one of his most grand prayers ever, answered in dramatic fashion. The below exchanges may seem extraordinarily mundane but I found them funny on two counts:

1. The dedication that one fan could have towards a player over a team (keeping in mind that The Fav-ruh-pologist has followed Favre from one team to the next).
2. The shear volume and length of texts in response to such innocuous statements.....I hope his texting plan is cheap.

Without further adieu:

What Happened to your boy?

(an innocent query)

Shut Up and go talk shit to someone else :)

People like you are the reason I continue to defend him. You are a hater. I've asked you to join me, and you sat back waiting for a moment to criticize and you forgot that there was still time left on the clock. Shame on you for lying in wait to attack a holy man. You should go to church and repent. GO VIKINGS AND GOD BLESS BRETT FAVRE!!!!!

(Favre=Messiah? Favre-ssiah!)

I haven't seen a response...kinda quiet huh? Oh I get it. It's game time for the Chargers. Time for next installment. I hope it turns out ok today. Good Luck! By the way it's Favre 2, AP 1. Hmmm.

(relax I can't type a message that fast...and I'm driving)

Another thing...I think I owe you a thank you for speaking too early. I thought it was over. It's the superstitiousness in me. So thanks.

(that's a valuable scrabble word)

That was vintage Favre...wing and a prayer

(Time to ramp it up! I have now given the angry bear a real good poke)

Whatever hater. Last second passes have to be right there. Did you watch the SuperBowl??? I suppose everything is on a wing and a prayer if you don't have all the talent the Chargers do. Go hate somewhere else. It was vintage Favre, you are right though. All the work leading up to the final pass was probably just him getting lucky. He would never get any true credit for what he brings to that team. Just go back to watching your DUMB team with all the other SD haters and idiots. 3-0 feels good. Just so ya know.

(the Chargers are not DUMB....they are BAD)

Glad to see the true Viking fans being rewarded.....you one of those?

(additional pokes and prods)

Keep grasping hater. I am defending an ideal. Not a normal situation for me, I concede, but I have stood by my point of view from start to finish with full conviction. I did for a brief time appreciate your semi unbiased sports point of view. I now see I was way off. You are just like everyone else. You want to look for a reason to take swipes at him. It's called player hating and it annoys. I have always given the Chargers the credit they DESERVE. I even admire a few players a bit. Your point of view is getting as old as everyone else. Just keep putting out your high quality opinions about the Padre colors and important stuff like that. And just try to leave the subject of Brett Favre alone for real blog sites.

(Following Brett Favre to the end of the Earth is not the pursuit of an ideal.....it is sedition in the eyes of all Packer fans. Blog sites are inherently crap and none are really 'real'. Really.)

'Real blog sites' are much more critical of your boy. I've actually given you the opportunity to voice the Favre point of view.

(what I meant to say---Fuck Yea I'm biased and I didn't mean "the Favre" point of view. It should have read Brett Fav-ruh point of view)

Don't worry, I'm not going to sit here and make you defend what YOU believe in. And I have read all the other blogs too. Once you filter through the idiots, there are some educated points of view. Some good and some bad for sure. But you and the surplus of other haters out there make it seem like that. Just keep up your good work.

Just admit you tried to talk shit too early and it will all stop. I'm not trying to be a hater. I'm just a little defensive as you can see. You aren't the only one sending me texts.

(I hope the Vikings get it handed to 'em tonight.....just so I can continue to poke the bear)

I'm still in awe with the velocity at which each one of these texts flew into my message box last week. Let's see what happens tonight.

Go PACK

SD's Championship Drought

With all the LT/AJ drama of the last week...the report that the City is suing the Chargers for $170,000 dollars...... The City of Industry having received voter approval to begin building a New Stadium.....and finally San Diego being discussed as the team that could possibly relocate to LA...

Well I started thinking about my Charger acquaintances and how they are fairly quiet and pretty innocuous in their fan hood. But during such a week of tumult how could the silence remain so deafening?

I needed to send out a feeler.......a text message to the Ten People in my phone who were the biggest Charger Fans (Father, Brother, Friends) ....varying degrees of fan passion, no face/body painters amongst them, and it went like this:

You People are the sorriest excuse for Bolt fans EVER!
You're a Prison Sodomites' wet dream...
a quiet, passive cell mate who dare not make a peep.
Yer the reason this town never wins...
yer the reason they're moving 2 LA!
SUCK IT!

The first responses back should have been from the 1981 comedy, Stripes: "Lighten up, Francis" ....but it went like this..

Excuse Me?

My Bad

It's my son's b-day party today.
Told you Sunday at the earliest.
No cell mate for me.

What the hell is that?

If u have time 2 respond twice u have time 2 go 2 da Blog
and express yoself on da LT/AJ situation.
If u wait in silence...we'll lose the team next...luv ya

My dedication is to my team not your blog...
and I don't have time I'm working!!
That was a pretty fucked up text!!

And your blog set me back like $400

...couldn't tell ya how much the blog set me back
although it will be $200 less once "-_-_-_-_-_"
decides to pay me. Secondly...it's not my blog... it's a public forum...
a place where your happiness or displeasure can be put on record...
that of course is your prerogative. I have had discussions
w/a UT writer and the FireNorv site was discussed
by Madden n Michaels on MNF so...
the Power won't read our texts...

Call it what you want
all I'm sayin' is I wouldn't even let
my brother say shit like that to me

Lighten up, Francis.

Indeed, Sgt Hulka. Shouldn't "WE" (read:me) all lighten up and keep this thing called Football in perspective? After all, we'd hate to be SO consumed with football that we looked like this sorry SOB Giant fan...

...and a late text reply:

Go Cardinals!!!

We Love ya Shirles

Living in the Past: Reflections on the Denver Route

We have included some images from the "AFC West Championship game last Sunday" and wanted to revisit it one last time before moving forward to the Wild card game against the Colts tomorrow. As you can see to the left, there was no shortage of Hochuli impersonators. That ol timer had a blind man's walking cane--and should have been charging $1 per picture--he was getting mobbed. It set the tone perfectly for the day....and then it was halftime and we were up 24-6. What to do during a blowout? Hmmm...

Well on a day where it now appears as though you'll be going to the playoffs at 8-8 and your ARCHENEMY the New England Patriots will be sitting at home this post season with an 11-5 mark, there is really only one thing to do....start an antagonizing text message war with one of your best friends...who incidentally hails from Boston...

Yes, I was the dickhead who was texting during the game, but I didn't begin until we were blowing the Donkeys out (ooh, that was beginning to sound like an entertainment show in TJ) and it is worth noting that I am an excellent mutitasker. Below is the text transcript, cleaned of hurried spelling errors (mostly, I think)...Enjoy Boston Fan floundering in agony (sorry TL)...

WE are blue and BOSTON is red...

October 12th, 2008. Meaningless regular season game?
Go blow your brother and I hope LT gets aids and dies. We are 11-5 and don't make the playoffs! That's fuckin' bullshit. Fuck the Jets as well. Lets...(Transmission of part 2 failed...lost in texting space)
That's hilarious...and going on the blog! Too funny!
And don't worry, LT will cry like a bitch by the end of the playoffs and I am betting on every other coach in the league to out coach Norv Turner.
Were there tears when you wrote that? Good luck with the Yankees in '09!
No tears just anger and Three Championship Trophies!
AHHH...the asterisk card!

What will you be doing next weekend?
Not watching the Pats, so what's your point?
Say you're watchin' the Bruins...not the front runnin' Celts!

Don't be jealous, just watch as your joke of a sports town lets you down again.

It's all good, your town never wins a thing ever and this year won't be any different.
What are you getting Tom and Giselle for the big day? You should have time to shop!
Don't Know.
Seriously...what are you getting them?

Saux should sign Manny!
It's not going to happen. We have to "hope" Lowell is healthy and Ortiz plays well like we are used to.
Hope...that sounds pretty liberal. Who did you vote for?
Not for the guy who wants to tax me more. I am a realist not a socialist.

This just in...Peyton Manning wins the 2009 MVP....that's O.K....we have HOPE (PR received 2 first place votes).

And so the text battle ended and it felt good. It hurt to see a friend in pain......but fuck him and his teams!!!

After the game all of Charger Nation was happy and continued to revel in the ecstasy of avenging the "Hochuli Bowl"....below are some Bolt fans with an excellent banner....what you cannot see is the background action which our camera failed to adequately capture...

...a young Denver Bronco Fan, 25ish and female, decided to "gear up" and bring a rather large prop (A Bronco stuffed animal). What ensued was a game of "keep away" and little Bronco sailed back and forth to a symphony of cheers, tears, and "fuck you, you fuckin' assholes!!!!!". It was kind of sad actually and I felt bad for her. She did land a lot of kicks to the rear-ends of taunting Charger fans but it did little to assuage her agony.

When in enemy territory....wear your team gear....but leave the props at home...or at least hide them as you enter and exit the gates of hell!