Voodoo en Viernes: The Wrath Of The Denver Donkey Throwback Swirly Socks

It goes without saying, that from a Charger perspective, this week is crazy critical.

Not long ago, when I bought tickets for the upcoming Monday Night Legacy game against the Broncos, I figured I'd be attending a complete laugher of a contest. The only legitimate concerns on game night were if I could 'pace' myself accordingly so as to be an effective human at the job on Tuesday...... and whether or not the Bronco throwback swirly socks might afflict me with a case of Vertigo.

Those are authentic concerns.....and now I have to worry about the fact that the Broncos are actually good........and that they could beat us at home......and that a loss would, in effect, bring a premature close to the Chargers' season? Hells Bells!!!

We had better run some righteous voodoo at the Donkeys for the Monday night battle. Last week we called for the "Something About Mary Prom Night Zipper Incident" to disable wunderkind coach Josh McDaniels, and if you saw the way he was dancing around after the game, pumping his fists, I'm pretty sure his nuts were stuck in the track.....

The problem however was that he enjoyed the crotch shot. We'll leave McDaniels out of it and again go after Orton once again this week. This guy has got to come back to Earth, no? I'm hesitant to destroy Brandon Marshall because he's one of my hottest weapons on The Tila Tequila Choke Slam........but I'm a Charger fan first. Post any creative ideas for debilitating hardships in the comments section.

It's not the brown and yellow making me sick.....it's the..... vertigo...hmm..ergg

The TTCS has running backs on byes and myriad issues so I'll put the hex on both of my opponents QBs; Kurt Warner and Kyle Orton. As bad as the Bolts' defense is, I'd think Orton's coming my way but you never know.....so you're on notice, Kurt Warner.

Awwww, Crap: Denver Broncos are 5-0

For More: The Denver Post

MEMO
To: Antonio Cromartie
From: Brandon Marshall
Date: Right after we shocked New England in OT
Re: The stiff-arm I'm going to give you if you try and tackle me like a girl

The Voodoo didn't quite work in regards to the Denver Broncos/New England Patriots game and that's on me, small miscalculation. In properly calibrating Voodoo one must always factor who the evil is being directed at. While under ordinary circumstances requesting a Donkey loss due to Josh McDaniels zipping up his nuts in pre-game is more than reasonable I erred in my evaluation of the total request. Bill Belichick is evil incarnate so asking Voodoo to act in conjunction with his vile persona actually nullifies said Voodoo. Like I said....my bad.

Denver has me worried. They seem to actually be good. After the Chargers performance in Pittsburgh, the Bolts have me worried. They seem to actually be bad. A recipe for disaster? Let's take a look at Denver's schedule:

They've got a tough schedule remaining. Traveling to Baltimore, Indy, and Philly is not easy. Taking on Pittsburgh and the G-Men at home, muy dificil. I would even say that going to Washington following physical games at Baltimore and then home against the Steelers is a miserable stretch of games. Not to mention they have to play us twice. They're good but they'll be challenged down the stretch.

How about the Chargers' schedule:

Easier because we've already played Baltimore and Pitt. G-Men in NY is no good but we get the Eagles at home. Bengals have been playing well but they've got to come here and then the Titans and Redskins both suck and they'll be playing for nothing, on and after Jesus' birthday.

Of course it's all moot if we don't start playing defense. The Broncos have defense.

Back to Voodoo. I threw it down on Dallas Clark and Reggie Wayne and while Manning blew up, the preponderance of FF points went to the little white receiver whose wife quizzes him on the playbook each night before he goes to bed (maybe I should pick that fella up on waivers---what was his name?). So the Big Two were held in check.......did you see Reggie Wayne drop that easy pass in the end zone? Voodoo. The Tila Tequila Choke Slam is climbin' the charts.

On another note: there are some really crappy teams in the NFL this year. Even teams that are crappy are blowing teams out. My pick 'em leagues are not going well.

Donkeys Falling Apart at the Seams

On this glorious day (Yesterday-St. Patrick's Day) we have yet more to celebrate, so as you read, sit back and enjoy your favorite beverage in a San Diego sports team mug or cuzi.

Today in Donkey town it was 72 degrees, which tells me that San Diego weather was making an appearance and assisting in the demise of a team at a location they call Dove Valley (Donkey Headquarters.)

McJayGate as its being cleverly called

As you have heard, things have gone from bad to worse between Chokler and McDaniels here in Donkey town. Chokler, as expected did not make an appearance at the Broncos first meeting under McDaniels. He also has put his home up for sale along with his parents home here in Denver.

You and I inadvertantly thought that Chokler was an adult....an adult athlete that was mistakenly given a Pro Bowl invitation. Apparently we were incorrect bout his manhood as he seems to be attached at the hip to his family who, from recent local radio commentaries, make consistent appearances at little Jay's practices......as though he were still in Pop Warner.

With Chokler being treated as if he were a Pop Warner player, who is to blame him for his childish actions. We ought to give the shout out to Mr. CUTler for this wonderful upbringing.

What I find very interesting is the split between the fans here in Donkey Land. They are die hard through and through. Every car you see driving the streets has a sticker or more promoting their beloved Donkeys, but that's just the the half of it. They drape themselves in the orange and blue; the Post delivery man damn near wears his Donkey's hat everyday! This nucleus however has been split by the drama going on here with CUTler.

Half the folks feel as though they have a quarterback that is solid and are confident that he could be the future of the franchise, while the other half don't want the door to hit CUTler in the ass on his way out.

Today's discussion on the FAN was about McDaniels future. The question to all was, "How many wins must the Donkey's have for McDaniels to keep his job?" The comments were interesting. Firstly, statements were being made that, ".....should the Donkey's match the record of the Detroit Lions historic low from last year, McDonkys coaching career would be over. When it was all said and done the number turned out to be 3. Should the Donkey's post 3 or less wins in the 20009-10 season McDonkey will be out of a job. That would be sweet justice for this assistant Cheater turned Donkey.

So will Chris Simms be the Donkey slinger, or will they see the likes of McNabb or Delhomme? Only time will tell, but a source from McNabb's camp stated today that he was out on the Donkey's. Should he not play for Philly next year he would only be interested in playing for a contender, not a pretender.

I couldn't say it better myself. The Denver Pretenders.

Does this look like a leader of men?

Until another update from behind enemy lines...

May all things that are good shine down on our Chargers and Padres, as well as their growing rank of supporters.