Padres, Dead Kennedys, and A Holiday In Peoria

After a short drive I tried to piece together my upcoming trip to Peoria. As the legs of the event began to fall into place in my mind the Dead Kennedys' Holiday in Cambodia began to play on the radio. And as any fool will tell you, Cambodia and Peoria rhyme perfectly, so I began to pen a song.

This song is based on my one experience in Peoria last season, which inexplicably found me in the Press Box at the Peoria Sports Complex viewing the first game of Spring Training. The song is also pieced together from the musings of Corey Brock of Padres.com and the North County Times' Dan Hayes, two authority figures on Peoria Arizona . . .


I suggest that you simultaneously play the music of the Dead Kennedys and sing my lyrics loudly enough to drown out Jello Biafra.

So you been to Arizona
For a year or two
And you know you've seen it all
Iconic hookups at the bar
Urinal rendezvous from afar
I guess the writing was on the wall


Play the Atari's theme
To charge up the team
On the park's five grand stereo
Braggin' that you know
How Bill Center feels old
And the Press box got so much soul


It's time to hear what you most fear
Nickleback will not help you here
Brace yourself, dear Friiii - - ar:
Brace yourself, dear Friiii - -ar:


It's a holiday in Peoria
It's tough wearin' #75, kid, but it's life
It's a holiday in Peoria
Don't forget to call your wife
[* To the poor guy who has little chance of making the squad]


See guys like Hoffy get to teach
Ausmus shows a catcher how to reach
Blacky and Balls work with the arms
Corey, Dan, and Uncle Ted observe
The next big thing's 12-to-6 curve
But the unproven 'pen sounds alarms


Well you'll work harder
With a radar gun in your back
For a Waffle House meal a day
A slave for Salty's
Chips and salsa 'till you starve
Then your guts are ruined until May
[*A message for the Padres fan turned intern]


Now you can go where people drink in the sun
Now you can go where fans watch players run
What you need, my Padre:
What you need, my Padre:


Is a holiday in Peoria
Where people dress in blue, sand, orange, and brown
A holiday in Peoria
Where the cracks of bats will sound


Bud Black, Bud Black, Bud Black, Bud Black, [etc]


And it's a holiday in Peoria
Where you'll do what you're told
A holiday in Peoria
Where the Arizona slums got so much soul


Bud Black!

RJ's Fro and Ducksnorts are accomplished musicians so I expect that our trip next weekend will yield an acoustic production of this song -- during our Holiday in Peoria.

You can't always get what you want

I really want to like Orlando Hudson. Let me amend that statement -- I really don't want to dislike guys who play for the Padres. 

I don't care to critique guys I ultimately need to cheer for in order for the Padres to attain success.

Yet here I am, during the week before position players are required to report to Peoria, Arizona and I've already ripped into Orlando Hudson twice. I'm bashing a guy who showed up early to camp!

But it could all be solved quite easily . . .


I guess it all comes down to the roles of those writing the stories: beat writers and columnists.

Perhaps it's not within the purview of beat writers to ask the dirty little questions (see: critical) I have in mind, on account of needing access to ballplayers every day. The columnist (and blogger) can get away with the scathing criticism more readily than the guy covering the beat.

So what is it that I want, you ask? 

I want Orlando Hudson to be asked, not about tossing the ball into the stands with two outs last season, but his comments afterwards regarding it being funny. Orlando Hudson probably thinks it was a benign comment but the truth is that a great deal of animosity towards him was developed when, on a last place team, he was able to laugh it off. Ask him about that.

I want Orlando Hudson to address his comments toward fans who booed Brad Hawpe last season. I love that he stood up for his teammate but I loathe that he called out fans with his condescending and entitled remarks.

I want Orlando Hudson to comment on his Twitter account, although verified as his, was clearly being operated by someone else -- and was ripping into critical fans.

That's what I want. I'm not likely to get it but a fan can dream. The odds are good that I wouldn't like O-Dog's answers anyway. Orlando Hudson, in his insulated little world, appears to simply think the way he thinks. But if he recanted, even a bit, I could get in the guy's corner.

****
On a side note:

I imagine yesterday was the day Orlando Hudson was made completely available to reporters as each of the guys (Corey, Dan, and Bill) submitted a story on the Padres second baseman. I can see Orlando Hudson holding court in the middle of the locker room, talking a mile-a-minute, slapping the rear-ends of new guys like Andrew Cashner and Edinson Volquez as they make it to the showers. I digress.

My point? Look at the variation in quotes from Corey Brock's article and Bill Center's.

Corey Brock:

"I guess when you go out and play hard ... things like that happen. If you don't play hard, it comes back that he don't give a damn, he don't care," Hudson said. "You go out and keep doing what you're doing. I'm not going to change the way I play."

Bill Center:

“I guess when you go out and play hard, things like that happen. If you don’t play hard, it comes back that you don’t care. You go out and keep doing what you’re doing. I’m not going to change the way I play.

 Assuming they were huddled around Hudson at the same time I find that kind of weird. If 'kind of weird' is a bit vague, I mean to say that quote #2 looks cleaned up. I guess the UT is a family fish-wrap now.

Edinson Volquez: Haircuts and Success

On Dan Hayes' blog this morning he wrote a teaser to an upcoming article about newly acquired RHP, Edinson Volquez.

A quote from Volquez confirmed what I have long thought to be a key to his future success:

"Right now, the way my hair feels, I think I'm going to have a good season this year," Volquez said. "I'm ready."

I couldn't agree more with Volquez. Look at the before and after shots of his hair.

Is Volquez' move from baseball's equivalent of an 1860s outhouse (Great American Ballpark) to the cavernous environs of PETCO Park going to help his psyche and consequently his performance? Sure.

Does it help that he's now another season removed from Tommy John surgery? Of course.

That his drug suspension is even further in his past? Undoubtedly.

Will the tutelage of Darren Balsley and Bud Black serve him more suitably than Dusty Baker, destroyer of young arms? YES!

A theme has developed surrounding Edinson Volquez and there is little question of whether he is set up for success in his new home at 19 Tony Gwynn Dr.

But allow me to break it down unscientifically for you: it's the hair.

Hair like that is bad karma for ball players*. If you can't fit your hat on straight all of the goodness within your body, your aura so to speak, shifts and your game goes in the crapper -- unless you're a lefty, which Volquez clearly is not.

 *Don't tell me about Manny Ramirez. Guy's as off as they come.

So it all comes back to the hair and I'm ecstatic that Volquez realizes it too. Good luck in 2012, Mr. Volquez.

[Editor's Update]

I totally misread that quote. Hayes wrote:

"Right now, the way I feel, I think I'm going to have a good season this year," Volquez said. "I'm ready."

It's neither here nor there. I stand by my unscientific assessment of Edinson Volquez' hair. I still expect great things.

Moores and Moorad: Good Riddance To Alliteration

The following excerpts were taken from Padres: Team sale to Moorad nearly complete by Dan Hayes of the North County Times on Monday:

Jeff Moorad's purchase of the Padres from John Moores is nearly complete.

Moores confirmed Monday morning that Moorad's final installment to complete the $525 million sale is in escrow. 

Moorad announced his intention to buy the team from Moores in January 2009 and made the first of three payments in March 2009. 

Moores still had controlling interest after Moorad made a second payment in March 2010, but the two were essentially co-owners. 

Moorad's final payment, which was made in December 2011, ends Moores' tenure as Padres owner. 

The sale to Moorad was precipitated by Moores' divorce from his wife, Becky Moores.

 This transaction being finalized is fantastic news for no other reason than it has become increasingly difficult to read both the Moores and Moorad names in the same sentence. Look at those excerpts. Not easy to maneuver through at all.

I'm being quite serious in my critique of the ever present and unintentionally forced alliteration.

This news should be finalized tomorrow and it will be the moment of truth for AJM. I have been vocal in relaying the message that my criticism of Padres payroll decisions would be fairly muted as long as the ownership was in transition. With Jeff Moorad making his final payment to John Moores it looks as though that day shall be coming much sooner than later.

I'd like to thank Moorad for making myriad magical moves to mobilize an investor group of magnates to obtain the Padres from Moores. 

Let us move forward. Without alliteration.

Handsome, nerdy, internet savvy, bringer of funk... Pat Neshek

Sometimes I can be horribly detached from anything not related to the NL West. I watch every Padres game so how can I be reasonably expected to keep up with players in the AL, let alone relievers who pitch an inning at a time? Exactly!

This is an unrealistic standard for me. Consequently, I had never heard of Pat Neshek when the Padres signed him after his release by the Minnesota Twins.

Last night Dan Hayes wrote an article about Neshek at The North County Times. It piqued my interest enough to dig deeper. I decided to ask the foremost authorities on the Minnesota Twins that I know of... and by "know"... I mean that we are acquainted through the internet. For our purposes, that's good enough.

These Twins fans (The Common Man and Bill) write an excellent blog called The Platoon Advantage where they are also featured at ESPN's Sweetspot along with Geoff Young of Ducksnorts.

I essentially asked via Twitter what we were in for with Neshek...

The Common Man replied through an enthusiastic email:

Hey there, AJM.

It's worth talking about Pat Neshek for a number of reasons.  First and foremost, because he legitimately seems like a good guy.  He's a baseball nerd's baseball nerd who happens to play ball.  He's got his own website (http://www.eteamz.com/PatNeshek/) where he trades baseball cards and autographs, and a solid Twitter presence (which the Twins really hated): http://twitter.com/#!/PatNeshek.  He's extremely fan friendly and smart.  I'm told the ladies think he's handsome.  Also, he's got a sick motion and is just fun to watch pitch.

He's also worth talking about because he's an example of how Tommy John surgery doesn't always work.  As Bill mentioned, Neshek's stuff has been way down since the procedure, and he's at least a year-and-a-half out from it.  But the Twins are probably more to blame for that than the failings of the surgery.  Over his objections, they inexplicably wanted him to try and rehab the elbow rather than get Tommy John right away.  He ended up wasting several months before the damage became catastrophic. 

His delivery is wicked and deceptive, and probably still going to be tough on right-handed batters.  However, his velocity has been down (85-86 MPH last year).  If he can get it back up to around 89-90 MPH, he'll be back and San Diego is going to have an elite-caliber reliever.  If not, he'll still be worth rooting for.

--

The Common Man

www.theplatoonadvantage.com

Bill also made the following endorsements of Neshek the man and as well as Neshek the pitcher (with an accompanying link to video).

A member of the PENitentairy is a presence on Twitter and has a blog? This is too good to be true!

Most importantly however, TCM notes that Neshek needs to get his velocity up to 90-ish. If you followed the previous link to video, it sounds like he may be approaching that mark. SO why did the Twins release him? I never asked this follow-up question out of fear I might not like the answer. I'm going to go ahead and pretend that there's a log-jam in the Twinkies 'pen and Pat Neshek was the odd man out.

What does this mean for the Padres in 2011? Another effective arm coming out of the pen, especially with Joe Thatcher ailing, could never hurt a team so dependent on its pitching so we'll cross our fingers and hope that Pat Neshek returns to his old funky form.

If Pat Neshek fails to impact the bullpen in 2011 it sounds as though the Padres are getting a good fella if nothing else. We wish him the best.

Thanks for the input guys.

Go read The Platoon Advantage. There's an article on MC Hammer there right now!

David Newhan Gettin' Some Pub

Over the weekend I read an article by John Maffei of the North County Times in which the trials and tribulations of MLB veteran David Newhan were chronicled. You see, David Newhan went for a surf back in 2009, and suffered a broken neck. Yet here he is today, at 37, trying to make the Padres roster. It's amazing. It's inspirational. And it should be read.

Why don't more people know of this story?

David Newhan played for the Padres back in 1999 and 2000. Those were dark times for Padres fans. A World Series had just left our rear view mirror and the construction of a ballpark, while imminent, seemed like light years away because of assholes named Henderson and Aguirre. I simply don't remember David Newhan's stint as a Padre. It was forgettable.

Over the years I recall hearing David Newhan's name from time to time but never knew too much about him until I was reading the blog of former Padre, Morgan Ensberg. Ensberg plugged a blog being written by David Newhan and his father Ross who incidentally was a noted sports writer. Their posts were well written and informative but unfortunately, sporadic. I didn't keep up with it.

Not too long ago, the bear known as Beautown, awoke from his blogging slumber and wrote something about David Newhan. It was a cool anecdote about a minor league game Beau had attended in Las Vegas where Newhan was playing. Beau and his pops formed a bond with Newhan that day. And in reading I learned a little more about David Newhan.

Which brings me back to the Maffei article describing Newhan's ordeal of a broken neck. I wondered how I could have been a baseball fan yet not heard this story. I wasn't the only one who felt the same thing...

The next day I received an email notifying me that Morgan Ensberg had written a new post on his blog. Morgan has been sporadic with his posting as well but when he writes it's generally an interesting read.

I clicked the link and arrived at a very short post, no more than a paragraph, describing a friend of his who had broken his neck in a surf accident and was in Spring Training trying to make a team. It was Ensberg's plea that reporters would begin asking around so that his friend's story could be told. He never mentioned a name but it didn't take much to connect the dots on this one. I dropped a link to the Maffei story in the comment section of Morgan Ensberg's blog and went on my way.

Within a couple of hours I was alerted to a story about David Newhan at HardballTalk, the baseball blog for NBC Sports. I went to check it out and sure enough the story of David Newhan was being recounted on a national website. In the story, writer Bob Harkins mentioned the John Maffei story in detail and provided a link. At the end of the article Harkins provided the proper courtesy to Morgan Ensberg (a hat tip or h/t) for alerting him to the story.

I was incredulous! Didn't I deserve a hat tip from one of the biggest and far reaching baseball blogs on the internet? Clearly it was the link to the Maffei article provided by me which allowed Harkins to write his article. A link from Craig Calcaterra's HardballTalk would have been huge!

Fortunately the internet is awesome. I sent a tweet to Bob Harkins and in my best Carl Spackler voice essentially said, "Hey, How bout a little something... you know... for the effort?"

And just like the Dalai Lama providing total consciousness on Spackler's deathbed acknowledgment arrived via Tweet and the name of ~Avenging Jack Murphy*~ appeared in bright lights over at HardballTalk. With a link!**

Bob Harkins is my Dalai Lama.

This blog has now devolved (as it does so frequently) into a piece about me and my baseball writing hubris. For that I apologize. This is about David Newhan. I wish him the best in his pursuits with the Padres and it is my sincere hope that he is providing a veteran bat off the bench by mid summer.

* If the lights aren't bright enough for you... scroll to the bottom of the article.
**Of course the link went to my AJM Twitter page rather than my AJM website so the traffic increase was negligible but that is neither here nor there. I feel like a guy who just got a cup of coffee in the bigs, knocked a hit only to return to the minors the very same night. Kind of like those guys you've heard about over at Ducksnorts.