Gentlemen...we are facing a highly organized, Holiday Season Conspiracy. This HSC has been orchestrated by the women in our lives...
Mothers, Wives, and special lady friends comprise one of the most powerful lobbies in the United States of America....and they infiltrated the NFL Commissioner's Office long ago...
Think about it...it makes perfect sense! We know that each year we will spend our Thanksgivings watching football and EATING an obscene quantity of food. But what happens each Thanksgiving morning? There, to little surprise, is a project waiting for you. These projects include quick trips to the grocery store to pick up forgotten items or ventures into the garage to drag out the Christmas bins...Christmas does start tomorrow, just ask the woman in your life! These women tell you what needs to be done, prefaced by, "I don't care when you do it as long as it gets done!"
You check the TV guide...Lions play the early game (always)...and the decision is made...
....off to work because you know you won't miss a thing (except a holiday drubbing). During the Lions game it is also an excellent time to travel, if need be, to the homes of your friends or relatives for their presentations of Thanksgiving Dinner.
Why just today I was tasked with babysitting and grocery store duty where I missed the 1st quarter of the game and it was 21-3 Titans when I returned...and I didn't feel one bit bad about missing it. The 4th quarter will be used for drive time to the Parents' house. It is a vast HSC!
This powerful cabal of women, somehow infiltrated the NFL Commissioner's office and convinced him to always run a meaningless game in the morning (see Lions) and in return, we surmise, the women agreed to leave the TV on so the ratings would stay high and we would be subjected to the all-important revenue making commercials necessary as we pass by mid-chore...
Roger Goodell has been anything but benevolent during his reign but we suspect that he knows better than to fuck with these power brokers...thus the status quo remains despite the annual No-Contest that is the Detroit Lions Thanksgiving Performance.
It all seems very reasonable...why else would we get the Detroit Lions each year?
Think about it...it makes perfect sense! We know that each year we will spend our Thanksgivings watching football and EATING an obscene quantity of food. But what happens each Thanksgiving morning? There, to little surprise, is a project waiting for you. These projects include quick trips to the grocery store to pick up forgotten items or ventures into the garage to drag out the Christmas bins...Christmas does start tomorrow, just ask the woman in your life! These women tell you what needs to be done, prefaced by, "I don't care when you do it as long as it gets done!"
You check the TV guide...Lions play the early game (always)...and the decision is made...
....off to work because you know you won't miss a thing (except a holiday drubbing). During the Lions game it is also an excellent time to travel, if need be, to the homes of your friends or relatives for their presentations of Thanksgiving Dinner.
Why just today I was tasked with babysitting and grocery store duty where I missed the 1st quarter of the game and it was 21-3 Titans when I returned...and I didn't feel one bit bad about missing it. The 4th quarter will be used for drive time to the Parents' house. It is a vast HSC!
This powerful cabal of women, somehow infiltrated the NFL Commissioner's office and convinced him to always run a meaningless game in the morning (see Lions) and in return, we surmise, the women agreed to leave the TV on so the ratings would stay high and we would be subjected to the all-important revenue making commercials necessary as we pass by mid-chore...
Beer...
Roger Goodell has been anything but benevolent during his reign but we suspect that he knows better than to fuck with these power brokers...thus the status quo remains despite the annual No-Contest that is the Detroit Lions Thanksgiving Performance.
It all seems very reasonable...why else would we get the Detroit Lions each year?
I have that outfit for when I cook
We don't need anymore turkey (It's 44-10...time to start driving.)
Dallas v Seattle looks to be a stinker also...Thank goodness Ma and Pa have the NFL Network...Cardinals v Eagles should be good.
Happy Thanksgiving.
The Good Ol' Thanksgiving Days
Dallas v Seattle looks to be a stinker also...Thank goodness Ma and Pa have the NFL Network...Cardinals v Eagles should be good.
Happy Thanksgiving.
The Good Ol' Thanksgiving Days
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