Game 4: So here's what I know.....

Not much!

Its Friday and the game started at 1:10.

1:10 pm!!??

When do Friday games ever start at 1:10? So I missed essentially all of the game aside from a few ABs on the game tracker. Perhaps you are in the same boat as I? Allow me to share with you the basics and then we'll turn to the experts for their analysis:

• The Padres lost 7-0.
• They couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat.......hey, you and I are in a boat too! Very few hits coupled with many Ks gives cause for the imbalanced of mind to hit panic switch.
• Clayton Richard looked pretty good. He tossed 7 innings and gave up 3 runs. Why do you think he got the starring role in the above picture?
• Sean Gallagher looked poor (and by "looked" poor I mean to say "that's what I've heard"). 1 inning and 4 Ernies. Sounds like a smashed watermelon.*

This isn't good enough so I shall provide more. Here's an article by Corey Brock and if you want to see the shear brutality in the form of a box score go ahead and pain yourself. This information is all well and good but what we really need in order to get a handle on the situation are the opinions of the UT comment posters. When they see a record of 1-3 with 158 left to play it's like blood in the water and they go for the kill......and by "go for the kill" I mean that they proclaim doomsday to have arrived. Damn Mayan comment posters! Let us begin.....


What say the proponents of reason?

Panic Button [check]. Pushed [check]. Insert AAA reference [check] Spell abbreviated form of"Jesus" with a "G" [check]. Proceed with 158 more games so I can continue to bitch.

Are people being facetious when they make this suggestion? I actually believe that they believe that this a viable option. Adding 35,000 more seats to house a Chargers game would be like moving an old building a short distance just so it could be incorporated into the structure of a new ball park.......uh, bad example. You get what I'm saying.

Hey, Hondo! There's over 155 games to go! I'm not even counting the 5 games from our eventual wild card appearance. I was joking about the latter statement but the former is straight up truth. I just examined the schedule and we actually have 158 games to go.

I couldn't resist making another bet after reading the Union Tribune online. Chill out people. The season is long. Save your crazy for mid June.
* I don't get smashed fruit as funny. Sorry I linked to it. My bad.

SDUT Polls: How will the Bolts finish?/Utilitarianism!/Uruguayan Rugby?

I haven't given up hope that the Chargers might be able to put something together* and make the playoffs..........but really.......there's nearly 5000 people who think they'll WIN THE AFC WEST! That scenario would require the Donkeys' week 8 charter flight en route to Baltimore to plummet into the Rockies, killing all passengers...... or at least forcing the survivors to eat one another.

Watch out for Elvis Dumervil**; that beast will either devour everyone in sight or sustain the beleaguered survivors for 8 days. I suggest using John Stuart Mill's theories on utilitarianism to justify eating the NFL's sack leader......or use the film Alive.

* Let's not forget that in both 2007 and 2008 the Chargers frustrated us to no end with 2-3 records. Funny stuff happens in the NFL and the line between winning and losing is much like the one that exists when confronted with the decision to eat your best mate after a crash in the Andes; somewhat blurry and very thin.

**My wife texted me regarding Elvis Dumervil at the game Monday Night after it looked like the Broncos had it won:

That damn Dumbledoor!

My wife is funny but I had no idea what she meant. She explained. I laughed.

Survivor Pool Week 2

Last week the masses spoke: Survival shall be achieved by backing the Vikings on the road against the Laughingstock Lions.....

...and right you were, Faithful Eleven (errr, eight). The Vikings, resounding 14 point winners, help me stay alive in the FFL Survival Pool. There's only 7 of 12 players that remain with yet another sucka falling last week. Once again I solicit your advice.

Vote.

If you've got a better course of action, write something in the comments section. Keep the following in mind; I've already used New England and Minnesota; I need new socks and the bills are coming due......

Survivor Pool Week 1

Cool throwbacks....even cooler gloves. Randy Moss needs a Randy Moss 'throwback' moment. He's been an intolerably good citizen since arriving to NE.

I've never done a survivor pool before but it is a component of the FF league that I'm in this year, so I'm awkwardly navigating the terrain. What I'm saying is that I really don't have a strategy. I'm not looking ahead because who knows how far it'll go with only 12 players involved (4 were already eliminated in Week 1). So my only gameplan for week 1 was to pick what I felt was an ABSOLUTE lock!

I started with the Chargers on the road but opted out for the Patriots at home. What a disgusting feeling to be rooting for the Patriots during that comeback against the Bills last night. I felt dirty.....like Ace Ventura after the grim realization that Finkle was Einhorn. I too should have burnt my clothes, turned on Boy George and jumped into the shower to cry.

Somehow I was able to do it. Perhaps it was the Patriot throwbacks that allowed me to push on through. They looked less threatening; more like the doormats they were back in the day. I dug it.

Anyways...it's week 2 and I'm soliciting advice from the Faithful Eleven that frequent this site. I've narrowed it down to three Mortal Locks of the week. Cast a vote or offer up a better option. I need new socks and I've got bills to pay.....

By a landslide...

Charger Fans just say, "Rey!"