Happy New Year Padres Fans

After a thrilling 2010, the Padres fell back to earth in 2011. It was painful. But the pain was assuaged by my ability to vent, when needed, right here on this blog. And you listened. All eleven of you. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Writing about the woes has allowed me to keep some semblance of sanity.

I'm happy for the opportunity to have gotten to know so many of you this year. I look forward to an exciting 2012 as we comfort each other through the difficulty of a rebuilding year.

Happy New Year.

~AJM

Acts of barbarism directed towards the Dodgers... I quite enjoy them

As the Padres met the Dodgers in one of spring's last games of meaning, the two squads gathered near home plate to illustrate their dislike for one another. After the Dodgers' Jonathan Broxton had hit Ryan Ludwick with a pitch, Padres' minor league reliever Brad Brach plunked Rafael Furcal an inning later.

Both pitchers say the hit batsmen were unintentional, mere casualties of aggressive pitching. I say who cares! I'm a meat-head and there's little I'd rather view than a good punch-up between the Padres and that cesspool to the north.

Here's to Brad Brach, even if it was unintentional. One day you'll make it to the PENitentiary and when you do, I'm buying the beers.

For those Faithful Eleven who have followed this blog over the years, you may remember that as a youngster one of my favorite players was Don Mattingly. I know, I know, it's disgusting that one of my baseball idols was a Yankee. Hey, at least the Yanks sucked then. What did the Dodgers' new skipper have to say about the near melee? From Don Norcross' UT article:

“I’ll tell you what, I don’t mind our boys stepping up,” said Dodgers first-year manager Don Mattingly. “I don’t mind at all. I really don’t mind the spirit.”

Oh, Donnie Baseball. This is gonna hurt to say it but you can #$  #$&@ $%&^self!


What about Mat Latos, hater of all things San Francisco? How did he react to this Los Angeles brouhaha?

When the players started taking their paces toward each other, Mat Latos was outside on a concourse, signing autographs. After a fan told him what was unfolding, Latos jogged toward the diamond.

Once things cleared, Latos returned to his spot and resumed signing autographs.
“Teammates first,” Latos told fans. “I apologize.”

Don't apologize Mat. This makes my heart warm. You make my heart warm. Let's get this season started.

"How Dare You RJ's Fro!" I say, "How Dare you Blogging Sirs!"

Not so fast RJ's Fro. 

In the last 34 days I've posted exactly two columns. One was about Dick Enberg's Wave Disdain and the other was a Memorial Day honorary re-post......so we'll call it one post in the last month.

A blog with one post in a month? Horrible!

Now it's so bad that I'm writing posts about not writing posts. A Taoist would suggest I've reached some sort of universal balance.......I would say that I'm the "Worst Blogger Ever!

Yet here I am having to defend my true status as worst blogger in the northern hemisphere because RJ's Fro decided to unilaterally declare themselves the worst. The AUDACITY!!!!!! No poll? You didn't formally poll the blog-o-sphere for one simple reason; you know your ranking wouldn't have solidified you as the Top Bottom-Feeder-Of-Blogs! And how could it have? You have a video interview with the great Bob Chandler whilst drinking BEERS; which in my opinion ranks you in the top three of all San Diego blogs despite your recent dearth of posts. So cool it fellas and leave the mantle of "Worst" right where it belongs; in Avenging Jack Murphy's blogging backyard.

I apologize to the Faithful Eleven for my lackadaisical June effort. Look forward to more stupid posts about stupid stuff. These posts shall include the possibility of a new AJM Matron Saint but will not be limited to mundane Dick Enberg analysis.........which incidentally may require a call to Wimbledon to get Dick back here ASAP if our young Friars get swept by Colorado today.

I'm back!
[Edit] 1:15 pm
I'm back....maybe!

Cromartie on the block; eastern philosophy needed

From Kevin Acee's Wednesday UT article, Chargers still seek deal for Cromartie:

Cromartie had 10 interceptions in 2007 but has just five in the two seasons since, and his lack of physicality and a perceived laissez faire attitude has worn on teammates and coaches.

The team is ready to move on from its 2006 first-round draft pick, and Cromartie has told people close to him he would like to be traded.

Perceived laissez faire attitude?

Laissez faire most accurately refers to Thomas Jefferson's thoughts on government interaction with the masses...... not how big of a "Gaping V" Antonio Cromartie plays like. "Perceived" implies that he might actually be on top of things. That he might actually care to win. There is no issue of perception here.

Whether Cromartie is dealt, released, or plays out his contract, the young man needs help. He has financial commitments to an ever growing family and the only way to fulfill these obligations is to perform and then get rewarded with a multi-year contract.

Luckily for Antonio Cromartie, I am currently researching a way for him to emerge from his self created abyss. This research has led me to delve into eastern philosophies and tradition in an effort to restore the shining star of 2007. The research is nearly complete and I believe that if the methodology can be relayed to young Cro' we may be able to avert losing him at all. This intervention may lead to a renewal for our 25 year old quarterback.

Stay tuned, faithful eleven.

Editor's Note:
I also find it laughable that HE WANTS to be traded. If he was playing on the east coast he'd be crucified by the media.... far worse than he gets it here in San Diego. Is it so tough playing for a team that is but a few steps from the Super Bowl? Is it the wrath of Vencie Glenn, Avenging Jack Murphy, and the whole of San Diego that has you lacing up your track spikes?

Run, Cro'. Run.

It's what you do best.

Pre Game Week 3 Versus The Dolphins: SNL's Mother Lover Brings Perspective To This Ridiculous Fan

In the previous post I suggested that watching the Mother Lover video by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg was an apt descriptor of Charger Fan reactions following the home loss against Ray Lewis' will last week. If you haven't figured it out....I meant that both were funny.

Seriously. That Mother Lover song is hilarious sh*t....and for a moment it made me stop thinking about Norv's terrible play calling and even worse press conferences. While the video is funny so is the collective response of Charger fan. C'mon people......every year starts this way:
--Chargers lose.
--Fans crap themselves.
--Fans begin questioning Norv, AJ and every personnel move down to those final 53 man cuts.

We'd be well served to chill out for a moment...but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the following:

The definition of ridiculously moronic and incredibly dimwitted is
to continue doing the same ridiculously moronic and incredibly dimwitted thing
and to expect a result
that is not
ridiculously moronic and incredibly dimwitted

I'm no Einstein so I can't tell you if it's him that I'm paraphrasing or if it's Edison or some other mad genius (hasn't Norv been described that way?). But the point I'm making is as follows: in order for me to simultaneously remove the noose from my neck, put the pills back in the medicine cabinet, and to trigger the safety on the 12 gauge sawed off, I need to see the coaching staff make some adjustments that account for the early injury losses we've sustained thus far.

On offense our running game and line play is suspect. So let's make sure we control the ball but also keep Franchise Phil safe by utilizing our giant receivers in a short west coast style passing adjustment. If we don't control the ball against Miami we may end up seeing a replay from the Miami/Indy game and by replay I'm not talking about a Miami loss.

On defense we've lost the center piece of the unit. Without Jamal we have to consider a serious overhaul as there's not a player on our roster who can replace him...and let's be honest, we weren't stopping the run even with the big fella in there against the Rai-duhs. What defensive adjustment will Ron Rivera make?

This isn't a must win but look to the future: a loss at home to Miami followed by a trip to Pittsburgh where regular season history has not been kind would be foreboding....1-3 going into the bye week. Yikes! We can say all we want that there's no reason to panic because we've overcome those odds in both the 2007 and 2008 seasons but it would also be foolhardy to compare the 2009 edition to either of those squads. In 2009, both the defense and rushing attacks are less than what they once were.

Besides; contenders win their home games.

Go Chargers!

Editor's Notes:

• Thank you for your input Faithful Eleven; Week 3 survivor pool = Baltimore Ravens!
• Is it to early to begin with advice from the Site Sages and installations of Voodoo. My sense is yes...but if Jessica Alba will start getting us wins I may have to make a concession.
• We do play in the AFC West.....so I suppose you can scrap the above diatribe.
  

Survivor Pool Week 2

Last week the masses spoke: Survival shall be achieved by backing the Vikings on the road against the Laughingstock Lions.....

...and right you were, Faithful Eleven (errr, eight). The Vikings, resounding 14 point winners, help me stay alive in the FFL Survival Pool. There's only 7 of 12 players that remain with yet another sucka falling last week. Once again I solicit your advice.

Vote.

If you've got a better course of action, write something in the comments section. Keep the following in mind; I've already used New England and Minnesota; I need new socks and the bills are coming due......

Do The Right Thing: Pay Restitution On Behalf Of The Repressed Souls Victimized By NFL Quarterbacks

I don't really have any flowers at my house so I can't speak to the going rate for the pots that house said flowers. We did have a cactus of some sort on the patio and the clay pot it was prominently displayed in more likely than not cost somewhere in the range of $17-$24 bucks....but like I said, I don't know what a pot or for that matter a planter box would cost for a whole family of flowers to dwell. I spend my money on other stupid shit.

Now, believe it or not, there are people who don't actually have money to spend on stupid shit. These people may be on disability, extremely old or just vehemently non conformist. I like those who are vehemently or violently non-conformist but this story is not about that type of individual. This story is about an enterprising individual who, while long in the tooth, was not afraid to get his hands dirty searching through people's trash to get himself a little treasure. This man went through an affluent Boston neighborhood and found a couple of items placed next to the garbage bins of a pricey condominium. He took the items and garnered himself $450 bucks. An excellent haul for two fancy looking........flower boxes.

There is a problem though and I know what you're thinking. It is not that a human being, during the most daunting of economic times, would have the nerve to own something so frivolous. Nor is it the fact that the citizen in question would discard these valuables amongst the trash. The dilemma is much deeper than that. The real complication stems from the fact that the two planter boxes weren't trash.......and they were worth quite a bit more than $450 bucks.......did we mention that a surveillance camera caught our good protagonist, Dennis Paiva, in the act?

"Paiva took the planters to a scrapyard in Everett, collected $450 and was feeling pretty good about life. Right up until he got a call from a Boston police detective.

“The guy mentions I took some flower pots,” Paiva recalled. “I said,‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ He said, ‘We got you on the security camera.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, I took them, but they were out with the trash.’ He said, ‘You gotta get them back. You don’t even want to know who they belong to!’ (I added the bold type to bring your attention to the upcoming picture)"

Brokeback Brady....just not monetarily broke

Yes. America's ridiculously good looking male model QB pays $4,000 per flower box. Poor Dennis Paiva. What happened next, you ask?

"Nonetheless, the case worked its way through the system, and, according to Paiva, they offered him a plea deal. According to the Suffolk District Attorney’s Office, Dennis admitted he was guilty of larceny, he agreed to pay $4,000 restitution, and the case was continued without a finding for a year. If Paiva got into no more trouble, the charges would be dismissed.

Dennis said he took the deal because he didn’t want to take his chances at trial, what with the bank-robbery record and all. . . .

The story could have ended there, except that, a few weeks later, Paiva suffered an aneurysm and wound up in Massachusetts General Hospital having brain surgery."

Poor fella was stressed out and when he recovered Providence deemed him ready for yet another physical challenge......back surgery. So now poor Dennis Paiva panhandles from day to day so he can fulfill the obligations of his plea agreement and pay $333.33/month to a guy who's household income is roughly $60 million/year.

Now I'm no bleeding heart but I'd be negligent as your narrator if I didn't share the following personal anecdote. When I was 21 my world was turned up side down when I had my detachable face Sony CD car stereo stolen. Absolutely heartbreaking. As a college student I didn't have too much cash so this thief actually absconded with a substantial amount of my net worth. However.....I helped the police catch the poor SOB.....and when the detective spoke to me......I actually felt empathy for the guy and the direction his life might go after the incident. I felt he needed to learn a lesson but that throwing the book at him probably wasn't the answer. In the end, I got my CD player back.......and let's be honest in saying, that's all I really cared about. My point......

This website, as a purveyor of Patriot fueled disdain, has decided to help Mr. Paiva by releasing him from the dollar pinching talons of Tom Brady. With the considerable donations that this blog receives from subscribers such as The Faithful Eleven, as well as the sizable corporate advertising revenue, we have agreed to pay the required restitution on behalf of Mr. Paiva.* We thought this might be a way for Charger fans to show the world just how small of a man Tom Brady is.

Thank you to Matthew, one of The Faithful Eleven, who prodded us into acknowledging this event as newsworthy but more importantly in encouraging us to lend a helping hand to Mr. Paiva during his moment of need.

*OK so this entire thing is true with the exception of one detail: this blog is not a revenue builder in any way so the ability to pay a $4000 dollar fine is an impossibility. Part of this blog's mission statement however, is to uphold the altruistic values that were singular to other unappreciated prophets in the course of human history.......which is to say that we would have paid the Brady Trust if we had won the lottery last week. As it stands, the good Samaritan who stood up for the downtrodden riffraff of Massachusetts was a fine New Englander named Dan Greenwald. We salute you Mr. Greenwald.....and the SDPD Detective who helped us retrieve our Sony Detachable Face CD Player, back in the day.

Man To Panhandle After Stealing Tom Brady's Planters
Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime For Tom Brady
Agency Owner Pays Off Debt For Stranger

Alternative Sports on the Tube/Laughing your Ass off/Week in Review/The Future of this Blog

Where to begin? Let's get right to the sport of watching television. In the last three days I've seen three of the funniest things ever---busting my gut, coughing, tears flowing from the eyes. I must share and I don't feel in the least bit guilty that these videos are off of our topic of sports. This is sport!

DATING:
For those who enjoy watching train-wreck television we bring you Daisy of Love. What happens when you lock up a bunch of dudes in a house with an unlimited supply of alcohol and they irresponsibly leave the patio doors wide open? Naturally, a skunk will wander in to house and drunks will try to trap it. What ensues is the funniest shit you will ever see (think Stand By Me during Gordy's tale about Lard-Ass and the pie eating contest.....)

FIGURE SKATING:
I had never seen the Will Ferrell film Blades of Glory and I still haven't. But I did watch one scene and I believe it was the first time they skated together in competition. In searching for a video that best captured the same disaster on ice that I witnessed, I settled on this one. It also has the perfect song to go along with it. Enjoy.

MOTHER LOVING:
This was the Justin Timberlake/Andy Samberg follow up to Dick In A Box. It originally aired a few weeks back for Mother's Day and then I saw it at the beginning of the week.....and then it re-aired last night. Perhaps not as good as D.I.A.B but hilarious none the less...

SDSU AZTECS:
Stephen Strasburg got his first loss of the year on Friday night against Virginia in the opening game of the Irvine Regional. Dude pitched like crap.....gave up two runs.....only struck out 15. At least he went out guns blazing. SDSU was eliminated tonight by the UCI Anteaters who are facing UVA as we write and looking to force another game against the Cavs tomorrow. I'd like to see Irvine representing SoCal in Omaha so we'll throw our support behind the Uncircumcised Penises of UCI. For more on SDSU's season you should go to 619 Sports.

PADRES:
Padres went 3-3 on their road trip this week to maintain their .500 winning percentage. Jake Peavy is still a Padre. Adrian Gonzalez is destroying National League pitching--hit his 20th HR today and The Effect picked up his 15th save after blowing one last night. While there has been talk of when Jake Peavy will be dealt and not if, SI.com's Jon Heyman proposes that the Padres would be much better off dealing Adrian Gonzalez. It pains me to say it but he's right. AG's contract is so cheap relative to his talent (Gold Glover and potential HR leader) that the Friar's could get a boat load for him. Not to mention that we have two 1b prospects as well as the possibility that with the 3rd pick in the draft we might take a kid out of UNC who plays...1b. I'd hate to see him go though.....he's a guy who could end up being like Gwynn: Synonymous with the San Diego Padres. A legitimate retired #....unlike Winfield and Garvey.

In addition to trying to write entertaining blogs I also try to collect and gather other good examples from the field. I came across a great blog by a Twins fan called The Daily Something. Great analysis and a nice little piece on the mystery that is The David Eckstein Love Fest. It's a reasonable question to ask of a player who's hitting .220 but has been described by GM Kevin Towers as our 2009 MVP. I did my best to explain it to him in that blog's comment section....maybe you could add something about the little fella.

More Peavy trade potential as well as the downward spiral of Khalil Greene from SI.com's Jon Heyman.....poor guy. And to think I actually thought that the Padres could have held him until July and sold high...waiting 'til July would have got us a bag of balls and a case of Budweiser from the Cards.

VOTE FOR MANNY:
Other good blogs I came across: It is about the money, stupid and Vote For Manny. Both of which come from a New York blogger named Jason Rosenberg. The former is his primary site and the latter is a little movement to get Manny into the All-Star game. Purpose: to shed light on the stupidity of the whole process as well as to make Bud Selig acknowledge the PED issue as it pertains to Manny being elected while serving a suspension. It's a great idea on many levels the least of which is to show how bogus the selection process is (Suspended player ManRam is running in 4th place so as an OF he needs to move up one spot where as Adrian Gonzalez is running in about 8th place....PEOPLE...He plays in a pitcher's park and has 20 bombs! Do The Right Thing!). I wrote a post on it so go read it and then sit on-line for 10 minutes and cast 25 votes for Manny Ramirez and Adrian Gonzalez. BTW: Manny Ramirez is an unequivocal A--HOLE!

CHARGERS:
SI.com's Jim Trotter writes about some Running Backs who he thinks are on the rebound in '09......take a guess....

NFL NEWS:
A good site for NFL/Entertainment news is FJuice @ nfljuice.com, and it's not just because we got linked from there. If you want a great way to start the day check out Morning Wood....isn't that the way everyday should start?

THE FUTURE:
We have changed our URL and exported all of our posts here. The previous URL is shite and was never intended to be a long term address primarily because we never really intended to do this long term. Anyways, this new address honors San Diego sporting history and will have a post written shortly to explain why we're even doing this.........aside from the fact that all parties involved are somewhat crazy. Await further word, ye Faithful Eleven.

Cliffs Notes: Avenging Jack Murphy

This blog began as a series of emails sent in January of 2007. The emails were in regards to the Divisional playoff game played by the San Diego Chargers and the New England Patriots, more specifically the celebrating that took place in the center of the field as players mingled and congratulated each other. LaDainian Tomlinson had a meltdown and then went off on Bill Belichick in the post-game press conference.

In true fanatic fashion we tried to block out the devastating loss by directing our frustrations at EVERYTHING New England....hence the emails which can be read under the post entitled Genesis 1:1.

The emails inspired a group dubbing itself Jack Murphy's Avengers (from the email closing signature) to travel cross-country to watch the Chargers play the Patriots in Foxborough on September 16th, 2007. In the wake of Spygate, the Chargers were destroyed and it turned into a long night. The one positive was that we picked up a few more reasons for hating the Patriots: their fans. We met some real miserable S.O.B.s. The AFCCG loss a few months later would also serve to drive our disdain for New England.

Six months after the AFCCG I started a blog called The "We Hate the New England Patriots" San Diego Sports Fan Collective which had as its purpose the following goals:

1. Promote the 2008 regular season game against NE which we would have a large group attending.
2. Serve as a forum for Charger Fans to meet and discuss Charger football.
3. A gathering place for anyone who hated the New England Patriots.

The Chargers crushed the Patriots on October 12th, 2008 but it wasn't the same without Tom Brady playing. Whatever, we won......and amazingly the blogging continued.

So as we come up on a year of doing this we have decided to reconnect with our roots by renaming the blog Avenging Jack Murphy. The name is both a tribute to the sports writer who brought professional sports to San Diego and a nod to the emails that followed the disastrous playoff loss to the Patriots on January 14th, 2007.

I am not a journalist nor am I trying to become one. I'm just a fan of the Chargers and Padres who likes to write. Some of the posts here are serious but most are not......my goal along with anyone else who chooses to write here is to create a place for fans to talk, laugh and view appealing images of this blog's Spiritual Sage.

Thanks for stopping by.....and you are a total pussy for opting out of the long introduction and reading the Cliffs Notes.........although we would have done the same.

Spread the Gospel, Ye Faithful Eleven

Movie Quotes Will Explain This Winning Streak...maybe?

The difficult thing about blogging the baseball season is the short shelf life of each thought. Before you can implement an idea from a game the next one has passed. All I really want to talk about is the Padres sweep of the Cubs but here we are on Memorial Day having witnessed the Padres extend their winning streak to 10 games with a late rally and extra inning victory. Oh who cares, there's only 11 of you reading anyway and China's access is restricted so I'll have at it......

The recent 9-0 home stand coupled with today's defeat of the D-Backs brings to mind two movies that may best describe the prevailing feeling Padre fans should be having:

1. PULP FICTION. The Character; Winston Wolf. The Scene: Vincent and Jules have just cleaned all of the fragments of Marvin's skull from the back of their get away car. The blood has been sopped up, the blankets are covering the upholstery, Travolta & Jackson look like a "couple of dorks", and they are confident that The Wolf has helped them escape certain incarceration. The Quote: "Well, let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet." Now I've referenced this quote before and for good reason......it would be unwise considering San Diego's sporting history to get too excited over nothing. Not to be a wet blanket (or the damp throw pillow that my daughter just gacked on...true story) but it would be wise to remember that our 'book collection' has two fantastic 'book ends': A 9-3 start and our recent 10-0 run for a phenomenal 19-3 mark. But here's the problem..... all of the 'books' on the shelf are absolute SHITE!......think Jack Kerouac collection minus On the Road and Dharma Bums. The math on that is 4-19.....refer back to quote by The Wolf.
2. MAJOR LEAGUE. The Character; Jake Taylor. The Scene: Cleveland Indians squad is assembled in clubhouse and has just been notified that the team was constructed to lose so that the team could be moved. Each player would be released, traded or sent to the minors at season's end. The Quote: "I guess there's only one thing left to do...win the WHOLE fuckin' thing." I know, I know....you wanted to hear Cerrano say how much he likes Jesus but he no help hit curve ball......I get it... but it doesn't fit my theme (click here) so go with me. To keep Peavy, do the Padres have no choice but to 'win the whole fuckin' thing'? The Friars' FO wants to trade Jake Peavy but it will be met with even greater resistance by our fledgling fan base if it is done while the team is above .500 and has a chance to compete. Could the FO be hoping that this streak ends so it can get back to the business of giving John Moores a palatable $40 million dollar payroll? Will GM Kevin Towers begin to redecorate the bullpen with more of the Edwin Morenos of the world in order to soften fan expectations thus allowing Jake to be jettisoned? That's an awfully cynical thought but we all know that Jake's going, merely a matter of when....but will they trade him if we're playing good ball? (this is all ridiculous speculation and more of an excuse to mention Major League)
   

Those are my movie analogies and here are my observations from Sunday's game which was a 7-2 victory over the Cubs. A personal victory of note for me as the Friar's had dropped the 10 previous games I attended.

• I am a completely moronic child every time I see this name:

• Fuk-U-Do-Me......I laugh every time I see it in print and then I proceed to read this guy's name phonetically...every time. I am a MORON. It's like any time I've ever mentioned the word Duty in front of a teenager (such as: You have a duty to complete this task). All the teenager hears is doody....."Huh-Huh.....he said Doody." I am that same little teenage idiot every time I see Kosuke Fukudome play baseball. Sorry.
• Padre entertainment coordinators. Don't play Twist and Shout when the Cubs are in town...too Ferris Bueller's Day Off after he caught the foul ball during the game at Wrigley and then found his way on to the float in the Downtown Chicago parade. It's bad enough we're outnumbered every series those guys ever play here......don't make them feel anymore at home. Also ix nay any Smashing Pumpkins song.....they hail from Chicago....gotta think of these things.
• Always show footage of Garvey hitting the HR in 1984 when the Cubs are in town......it actually won't piss off that many people because they aren't even from Chicago, they're from Huntington Beach. I know because I was talking to them. Curse WGN's national reach!
• A batting avg. around .200 during 9-0 home stand. Really?
• Memo: Chicago Cubs fans who wear Chicago Bears jerseys to games in San Diego: If you decide to wear your Richard Dent #95 and guy wearing Padres jersey comes up to you and says, "The Sack Man's comin'," don't look at him like he's a crazy methhead from Lakeside but instead reply with, "I'm your man Dent," and then I'll continue the dance with, "If the Quarterback's slow he's gonna get bent," and then I'll be impressed with you instead of you looking like an ill-informed Jag-off. That's right.....YOU looked like the Jagoff.
• I do not like being outnumbered in our home park. It bothers me. On account of this uneasy feeling acquired when the Cubs visit, with all due respect to family members of mine who are Cub fans, I shall share the following sentiment: I have a strong dislike for The Lovable Losers...OK, I hate them. Take solace Chicagoans as it is not the same kind of hate I have for the Patriots.
• Finally.....watch out Dodgers!?? Not really but they are actually in our sights now.
  

That is a nice piece of fish...very dependable

I apologize to the Faithful Eleven*. You are a small but devoted contingent and you deserve better than the infrequency of my random posts. But I'm here to proclaim that your visit shall pay dividends tonight. You are about to gain access to the official catch phrase of this blog......one of those little insider-only-isms.....and here it is:

That is a nice piece of fish....very dependable.

Yes.....I find the Jack-in-the-Box commercial for Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwiches one of the funniest things going. That old man in the body wrap blanket waxing nostalgic about a McDonald's filet-o-fish sandwich kills me. What? You don't get it? Neither does my wife and that's ok....let's explain:

It's funny, no explanations needed. There are currently no internet representations of this commercial so you're forced to take my word on its awesomeness....the following You Tube video should be convincing enough as to all-around general comedy found in Jack commercials:

Now that you're a believer, how is it that you can incorporate our catch phrase into daily living? Quite simple really. Anything that is "good" should be modified as follows: That banned Jack commercial was dope! It's a good piece of fish...very dependable.
Let's try some more.....Heath Bell just pitched the 9th and 10th struck out FOUR, got the win and broke our losing streak: Nice piece of fish...very dependable.

Can you believe that Jessica Alba just had a baby? Look at that body! That is a nice piece of fish...very dependable.

Very Dependable

or......
How about that weather today? 74 degrees and breezy! San Diego: A nice piece of fish....very dependable.
This blog, brother? A nice piece of fish....very dependable (working on the dependable component). You get the point.

Go forth, Faithful Eleven, and propagate our message. We look forward to hearing this phrase reach critical mass across the 28 countries we've been exposed to....man up, Slovenia!

Become a part of the lexicon....2009's Truthiness.

*the Faithful Eleven is an arbitrary designation to those who check this blog frequently. It's not actually as low as eleven...on account of being huge in Europe's Eastern bloc.