First we get the potentially fantastic news that the Padres are on the block, ready to be auctioned off, to the first who can scrape together a few hundred million....
For a nominal fee, you'll get a slow footed, slap hitting, suspect fielding team built by a bunch of computer nerds. The team also play in a brand new spacious pitchers' park which will add economic value when the potential suitor surveys a farm system stocked full of young pitchers...who are all distant relatives of Tommy John's elbow...oh yea, and our CEO is a fucking ASSHOLE....
Actually, I'm a miserable c$#t!
...pony up sucker! Join us for a $9 buck cup of misery down at the worst named ball yard in the history of our national past time.
After that ray of hope comes the $9 million dollar man, Brian Giles, getting sued for $10 million because he's an "alleged" woman beating, fetus killer.......creepy. Much more creepy than the naked hugs and cock exposure our bronzed Punch 'n' Judy hitter is reported to have given to anyone who walked into the Friar locker room (let us qualify the latter behavior as creepy- funny). We thought it was B.S. until we heard there was a surveillance video of one abusive incident...
That's a check swing...another walk, thank-you very much!
CEO, Sandy the C$#T, tried to get money back when Khalil broke his hand in the dugout last season...whaddya think he's trying to do about this one, that slick lawyer fuck!? Giles does take up nearly a quarter of our meager payroll.
Hope it's not true...it'd be a rotten Christmas present...
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