Dick Enberg Analysis: "A looper....ya know? A caddy, a looper, a jock."

I haven't written anything related to the analysis of Dick Enberg lately. My last commentary alluded to him needing to be in the booth for about a month before he could be evaluated with a level of fairness. As such, the weekly post died. It has now risen like a zombie*.

Dick was off chasing Olympians through the woodlands of Canada and lacked the proper spring training required of not only an announcer unfamiliar with a new team but the preparation required of someone having been out of the game for 25 years. I've cut him a lot of slack. Many have not. By my rudimentary accounting system.....Mr. Enberg's grace period lasts another two days. Having offered that disclaimer....

I must point out that Dick Enberg has a particular call that makes me laugh out-loud each night. I wouldn't say that the laughter is side-splitting but it's audible and when I hear it I feel like James Brown......good. (click "Read More" to continue)

On a soft single (see: Texas Leaguer/Ducksnort) that meanders its way over the heads of back pedaling infielders and dies at the feet of storming outfielders I was always partial to labeling it a "bloop single"/"blooper". Dick Enberg however, does not share this sentiment as he chooses to characterize such a knock as a "looper".

Hey the ball does "loop" into the outfield so I'm not saying it's wrong**  or that it's weird***  but that  it's just.....very different****. And because it is different I tend not to associate a "looper" with being a soft base hit but instead think of it as a Caddyshack reference.....

Carl Spackler: A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. 

So even on nights when the Padres can't get a win (which was not at all like last night where the Padres won in grand walk-off style) I still have Dick Enberg there in the box to make me laugh......which is nice.

Thoughts and Dick-isms? Drop 'em in the comments...


*I was in Borders yesterday buying Dirk Hayhurst's book, The Bullpen Gospels (which incidentally, is fantastic so far) and I saw another book that caught my attention; it was called Zombie Haiku. It was all haiku poetry written from the perspective of a zombie and boy do I wish I had memorized the poems on the cover of the book. HILARIOUS!
** (see: "Efram" Cabrera)
*** (see: Warning "Path")
**** (My International Marketing Professor in God's Country famously  urged us all to remember that when marketing across cultures things are not "weird" they are simply "different". Sound advice from an otherwise average professor.)

EDIT (Thursday 7:00AM ) I was back in the same Borders last night. Zombie Poetry for your morning:

Biting into heads

is much harder than it looks

the skull is feisty

You are so lucky

that I cannot remember 

how to use doorknobs

Very Misfits-ish. Glenn Danzig would approve.