I'm on vacation and I'm setting up a pub crawl to PETCO Park for Opening Day this Thursday afternoon. There will be no t-shirts. I can't guarantee more than three people in attendance. But here's what I will say:
- My two buddies who are meeting-up with me don't know each other. So if you're hesitant to meet because you don't want to feel like a third wheel then throw that care to the wind good man/woman! I've already stated that there are three of us to start so you'll be the FOURTH WHEEL. . . but you'd be like a bitchin' 22 inch rim that totally tricks us out . . . so be there!
- We will keep strict time in each establishment. If you can't start with us then join us along the way.
If you're inclined to begin the journey on LEG #1 you will go to the . . .
My acquaintances and I will arrive at 11:50 for the intended purposes of boarding the MTS trolley for a 12:00 pm departure. The Trolley will drop us off at 5th avenue in downtown at 12:15pm.
What are your needs?
You will need one or two cans of beer. It must be beer that would be frowned upon by the San Diego craft beer community.
Since the Padres are facing off against the Dodgers you should be wearing brown but this is a negotiable point. If you believe in Blue and prefer to snub your nose at our LA neighbors I'm completely down with that. If you are one of those people however, who can't bring themselves to wear even one piece of attire connecting yourself to the San Diego Padres then honestly I don't want you there.
You will also need a firm handshake or fist-bumping capabilities and a desire to be unusually strange. Now that I've scared off the pretenders let us proceed to . . .
1065 4th Ave (between C St and Broadway Ave)
We will probably arrive at The Local slightly before this time but the official bar crawl begins at 12:30pm.
This is the perfect place to begin as it's one of those places that proudly claims its San Diego roots. It's a shame we can only stay for Tony Gwynn minutes.
From The Local we have 5 minutes to scurry over to the . . .
423 E Street (between 4th Ave & 5th Ave)
The Star Bar is a certified dump. It's complete crap. For these reasons we are staying for Steve Garvey minutes.
But why even go at all, you ask?
As a genuine dive bar it is deserving of acknowledgment. Similarly, former Dodger/Padre Steve Garvey is worth acknowledging because of the historic HR he hit in 1984 at Jack Murphy Stadium against the Cubs.
Steve Garvey is the Star Bar.
SIX MINUTES!
After leaving the Star Bar we continue on a strenuous walk next door to the . . .
868 5th Ave (next to Star Bar corner of 5th)
This is the original Gaslamp Tavern -- none of this bowling alley crap like they have over in the East Village.
We'll be here for Randy Jones minutes so Padre folk can get their bearings, order a burger and beer, and maybe talk about Orlando Hudson's groin. I will partake in all three.
After having grabbed a bite to eat and depositing roughly 5 beers into a thinning blood stream we are faced with the sternest challenge of the day -- a three block walk down 5th Ave to . . .
527 5th Ave (between Market and Island)
This next leg of the crawl was supposed to be at my favorite Irish pub, The Field. Unfortunately, word has it that they have an Opening Day related event scheduled and it's all sold out.
Never fear, Fred's is here.
In between drinks of crappy Mexican beer we can challenge each other with salsa shooters just to see who's more manly/womanly. And stupid.
If you so desire, go ahead and order a quick bite to eat.
But be quick because you only get Gwynn minutes and then we're off to an around the corner spot . . .
505 6th Ave (corner of 6th and Island)
Here we'll meet at the oldest bar in the Gaslamp, a watering hole where the legendary Wyatt Earp once drank and did other things that lawmen aren't typically supposed to do.
At Tivoli you can purchase opium just like the days of yore or you can settle for a cheap beer in a plastic cup on account of the owner not trusting patrons with glass on game days. With the Dodgers and their "fans" in town, a wise entrepreneurial decision no doubt.
Enjoy your plastic cup full of beer out on the patio for Gwynn minutes and then start pounding concrete to the last public house on the crawl . . .
715 J St (between 7th Ave and 8th Ave)
Bub's is perfectly located next to the park so it's a natural last stop. Apparently it is also a "Pittsburgh Steelers fan bar" which makes it perfectly fucked up. But it's not football season so who cares!
Its spacious and has a talented group of young ladies on the tap handles.
You'll have Hoffy minutes to enjoy before we head over to PETCO Park to take in the pomp and circumstance that is, Opening Day 2012.
19 Tony Gwynn Drive
You can go inside the park or you can camp-out beneath this sign.
If you choose the latter be prepared for the po-po to regulate your transient ass, because honestly, you do look homeless and the city would be best served if you were wallowing in your own piss over on 14th and Island.
I digress.
This is the one day of the year where, as a baseball fan, the only sentiment that exists is one of hope. Sometimes the hope is reinforced but often in San Diego it is crushed.
During those painful times when hope is in question it's always good to have friends by your side. I hope to see you there.
And if not, do enjoy the game.
Nice Eddie Ayoob reference....
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of weird references in here but if Ed Ayub made it in then it was a subconscious occurrence.
ReplyDeleteWhere?
Lookin forward to the crawl sounds like a blast
ReplyDeleteEA....2 MINUTES!!!!!
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