Monday, February 6, 2012

African Proverbs: The Padres Front Office Edition

While using African proverbs to identify Orlando Hudson's numerous missteps in a Padres uniform I also found a few others to explain the happenings down on 19 Tony Gwynn Drive. They didn't quite fit with the discussion of San Diego's second baseman so here they are in a post teeming with optimism...

 

If your cornfield is far from your house, the birds will eat your corn. ~ Pygmy proverb

 

What better way to explain the Padres decision to move their AAA club from Portland to Tucson with the endgame being a subsequent move to the Escondido area. Alas, California is a mess and with no redevelopment money coming the Tucson Padres are stuck in-- well, Tucson. Currently it is unclear if the birds represent the dry desert air that destroys the minds of pitchers and the mechanics of hitters or if the Nippon-Ham Fighters have advanced scouts in place. We may need a Pygmy to solve this one.

 

One cannot both feast and become rich.  ~Ashanti proverb

 

This is clearly a proverb never considered by teams like the Yankees and Red Sox. They need not consider it because they live in another dimension. It's a fantasy world, one in which money does fall from trees. The Padres, on the other hand, face a far different plight. The San Diego club in many ways serves as a microcosm of the lifestyle most Americans must choose. Sacrifices must be made before rewards can be reaped. Slowly the Padres payroll is creeping upwards. Responsibly.

 

Blind belief is dangerous. ~ Luyia proverb

 

While blind belief is dangerous belief in and of itself is not. Belief accompanied by probing questions. Belief in the process. Belief in your people. Belief in the belief that "Believe SD" was a winning marketing slogan for an overachieving 2010 Padres team that played meaningful ballgames until game #162. What I'm saying is, that it's essential to believe in belief. Not blind belief, mind you. Just to be Big Believers In Belief. Ask Josh Byrnes.

 

A messenger cannot be beaten. ~ Luyia proverb

 

In 2009 Padres President and COO, Tom Garfinkel, proclaimed that San Diego was and forever shall be a Breakfast Town. This was not his message. He was merely the messenger for what Rolf Benirschke had conveyed to him over, conveniently, breakfast. While Garfinkel received a lambasting for the insinuation that he knew San Diego after such a brief tenure in town, something funny happened. We (I) decided that as lovers of breakfast perhaps San Diego is a breakfasttown. Now in the AJM household every Tuesday night is Breakfast for Dinner night and the omniscient Garfinkel sits back and smiles. While Mr. Garfinkel receives holiday cards from the Vocal Minority he sends his to the Luyia in Kenya. He took a beating and survived.

 

You do not teach the paths of the forest to an old gorilla. ~ Congolese proverb

 

In late 2011 and early 2012 two pivotal moments occurred for the Padres. They signed Mark Kotsay to serve as a bench player and as mentor to a young club in need of leadership. The experienced clubhouse gorilla, if you will. 

 

Then Jeff Moorad attended the Baseball Owners meeting to seek approval for the full purchase of the Padres from John Moores. He was publicly rebuked. Moorad took the news calmly even though that no good bastard Ken Kendrickson of the Diamondbacks was doing everything possible to block the purchase. While John Moores flipped out and refused to vote for Bud Selig's continued stewardship of MLB, Jeffrey Moorad continued to stay the course. Calmly. Moorad understands the path.

 

Stolen things bring in misfortune. ~Kenyan proverb

 

On November 13th of 2010 the Padres obtained Cameron Maybin for Ryan Webb and Edward Mujica. On rare occasions African wisdom must be rejected.

 

Two male hippos do not stay in the same pond. ~ Azania proverb

 

After acquiring Yonder Alonso in the Mat Latos trade Padres General Manager Josh Byrnes decides that he doesn't want a Quarterback Controversy at first base with Anthony Rizzo. Rizzo is shipped to Chicago on January 6th for Andrew Cashner.

 

Money is sharper than the sword. ~ Ashanti proverb

 

In early 2012 the Padres decided to make a concerted effort to accumulate more monetary reserves. The first step in this process was to return all swords for cash-- a controversial decision to be sure, as everyone knows that swords are cool. First the trade of Adrian Gonzalez and now the Padres' surplus of swords. Nobody said it would be easy as a Padres fan.

 

Armed with the wisdom of proverbs the San Diego Padres' pilgrimage into 2012 continues.

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