Deciphering Darren Smith Questions at the All Star Break

Each day when Darren Smith gets behind the microphone at XX1090 his listeners forget a very simple truth: Darren Smith is writer.

One cannot speak for 3 hours to a captive audience without having first written down research notes and probing questions for those he interviews each day. Darren Smith is not a writer of prose (although he certainly may be in his free time) but the quality of questions he writes for his guests are perhaps the most essential element of his successful show.

Last week Darren interviewed Padres MLB beat writer Corey Brock coming out of the All-Star break. A week after the fact I've obtained the original questions (typed in italics) intended for Brock and they display only a minor resemblance to the questions that were asked on air (typed in bold) . . .


The original questions give the listener an inkling of how much things can change within the course of a single show, and segment for that matter. With financial obligations to sponsors and their coveted advertisement spots, the radio host is always up against a clock, which invariably leads to changes on the fly. We see this with the questions designated for Corey Brock. We also see the humor as well as Darren's professed goal of high IQ radio with a splash of absurdity . . .

"If you were to say in a couple of sentences, how would you describe the first half of the season, the first three months plus of the 2012 campaign?"

If you were to use a comparison to movies featuring Nicholas Cage, which Cage performance would best describe the 2012 Padres? Captain Corelli's Mandolin or Ghost Rider? a couple of sentences, how would you describe the first half of the season, the first three months plus of the 2012 un-televised disastercampaign?

"What has really been the impact of all these injuries? Where has it hurt 'em? Has it hurt 'em at the lower levels, has it hurt 'em at the big league level? What's really been the biggest impact of them all?"

Has this team even begun to evaluate what they're doing wrong with pitchers? We've got torn elbows and shoulders. Pulled lats . . . What doe s a lat do? We got Carlos Quentin's bad knees. Issues of vertigo. Meh! What's next? Yeast infections?

"Do you think in hindsight, the label that they got or the ranking that they got in terms of farm system, being the number one farm system, do you think that that was accurate in hindsight?"

The Padres couldn't possibly have anything rated number one could they? But seriously, on a scale where Kate Upton is a 10, and Anne Hathaway is a 6 can we honestly say that the Padres score an Erin Burnett? Which of course, Corey will tell you, is an outstanding 9.6. Am I right, Corey? Erin Burnett a 9.6? Sound about right?

"Pick one of the trade candidates, since we don't have time for all of them, and we want to pace ourselves here for the next couple of weeks. Which decision do you think is the most interesting of the usual suspects of guys, that the Padres, that we hear, the Padres might be interested in trading?"

Please tell me that Will Venable won't be offered up for a trade, Corey. It's too entertaining to listen to the twitter folk berate his play and critique his hairline. His hairline? People seriously criticize his hairline which, I imagine, many people would kill for. No Will Venable, right Corey?

"What's happening differently with Carlos Quentin than what we saw getting out of the gates and getting off the DL?"

What's happening differently with Carlos Quentin? Is Carlos Quentin afraid of PETCO Park like Ryan Ludwick was or is his knee still bothering him? Or really, honestly, is he just not seeing any pitches because the line-up around him is horse-bleep? Or was it Comic-Con and all the weirdos walking around the Gaslamp? Did he get spooked?

"Who do you think wins the NL West?"

Tim Lincecum is firing up the bong again isn't he? Too many double doubles from In-N-Out?

"When do you think, or do you think, we'll see Nick Hundley again?"

Who's losing their front office job over the Nick Hundley extension?

I liked those original questions. I think they were Erin Burnett quality.