Scouting Reports: Aaron Poreda, Clayton Richard, Dexter Carter, Adam Russell

I am quite excited right now. The Union Tribune, being a joke of a newspaper, has done little to illuminate San Diegans on the four pitchers received in the Jake Peavy trade. Of course, the UT let its Padre beat writer go, so what do you expect?

My excitement is furthered by the fact that I shelled out $26.93 for the 2009 Baseball America Prospect Handbook back on July 7th (I use receipts for book marks and it should be noted that the book retails for $30.95 but I had a killer 20% coupon). Without further adieu:

Aaron Poreda

• He was Chicago's top pitching prospect and overall #3.
• Lefty. 6'6". 240 LBS. Will turn 23 on October 1st.
• 25th overall pick in 2007
• Ozzie Guillen has described him as "a real No. 1 guy." Has a Mid 90's fastball that can touch 100mph. Sometimes it's too straight and gets hit.
  
• Has a power slider (not a plus pitch). Good enough to keep hitters honest. Change-up is a work in progress. Durable and throws strikes.
• Needs to change speeds better and refine his other pitches.
• "Some scouts see Poreda as a dominating reliever, but he will remain a starter for the time being."

Clayton Richard

• He was Chicago's 2nd rated pitching prospect and overall #5
• Lefty. 6'5". 240 lbs. Will turn 26 on September 12th.
• "A taller version of Mark Buehrle". Works quickly, throws strikes with 3 pitches.
• 88-92 MPH with sink producing a lot of ground balls.
• Plus command and mound presence.
• Doesn't have a put away pitch. Change is average and breaking balls are inconsistent.
• May be better as a reliever utilizing sinker (also has shown ability to bounce back quickly out of the bullpen)
• Could be consistent enough to have a long career as a starter.

Dexter Carter

• Overall #23 prospect
• Righty. 6'6". 195 lbs. Turned 22 on February 5th.
• Played at Old Dominion. Kind of a disaster in college but showed potential. now he looks like a bargain at a signing price of $32, 500.
• Posted "eye popping" numbers in hitter friendly Pioneer League.
• TWO PLUS PITCHES: 92-93 mph fastball that touches 96 mph and a swing and miss curve ball.
• Has refined his delivery and worked hard to develop the consistency he didn't have in college.
• Change-up has potential but is far behind his other pitches.
• Athletic, big frame allows him to work on a downward plane (sounds like Latos, no?)
• Projected as a middle-of-the-rotation starter or more.
• Dexter Carter write up on July 22nd, 2009 [Baseball America.com]
  

Adam Russell

• Overall #27 prospect
• Righty. 6'8". 250 lbs. Turned 26 on April 14th. (I erroneously reported that AR was 6'4" yesterday...either this was a mistake on Baseball America's part or he has grown 4"...either way it's not my fault.)
  
• Low 90's fastball which occasionally reaches 95.
• Curveball rates as a plus pitch...at times.
• Worked as a reliever in 2008.
• Inconsistent control and command because of a varied arm slot and "high maintenance delivery.
• Doesn't have much of a change but as a reliever it won't matter.
  

Baseball America Prospect Handbook 2009

There is nothing too original from me in these bios. Baseball America was my source (for what it's worth) and I just broke down the summaries into bullets. I felt it was necessary because the UT has given us very little outside of 2009 stats and Paul Depodesta's Propaganda must be taken with a grain of salt.

I hope this information on our newest additions encourages some of the distraught Padre Fans to remove their mouths from the exhaust pipe, abandon claims of becoming an Angels fan and to rejoin the Friar Fold......this trade will work out....if for no other reason than money being freed up to sign our 2009 draft picks, which we have roughly 17 days to do.

More info @ The Sacrifice Bunt

Editor's Note 8/1 (12:00pm):
If you have any additional information on the FNGs, please add it to the comments. If the UT isn't going to provide then we're on our own, Friar Fans.

Peavy To The Southside: What Are "They" Saying As The Trade Deadline Passes?

Former Pale Hose hurler, Jack McDowell, writes a Sox blog and it's pretty solid. He's opinionated yet informed and very involved in discussion with his commenters. Here's Black Jack's initial response to the Trade Deadline deal:

I don't understand why the White Sox would trade away two quality lefthanders and two other prospects at this time for this guy. Add to this the fact that Peavy recently had a strained ligament in his throwing elbow. I'm not guaranteeing a breakdown, but I've noticed over the years that strains seem to quickly lead to Tommy John surgery even after the initial healing of the strain.

I love Peavy, great arm, great pitcher, great guy. But he's NOT an American League #1 pitcher. WOW. [Black Jack on the White Sox]

I like the way that sounds for the Padres. Jake has an ailment of some sort each year and I'd hate to see a guy commanding 25 % of the payroll spending time on the DL. 4 for 1---Two quality left handers.

Possibly the most important aspect of this trade (IMO) was brought to light this afternoon by former Padre beat writer Tom Krasovic:

The Padres say the trade will help their chances of signing several draft picks, including Donavan Tate, whose adviser, agent Scott Boras, is seeking $6 million and perhaps more if the money is spread up to five years. For what it's worth, the Padres regard as first-round talents all of three of their unsigned players taken in the top four rounds. Doesn't do much good to draft them and not sign them.

What's more, by my math, the Padres had spent less than half of the $3 million that their CEO at the time, Sandy Alderson, said in January was budgeted for international signings this year. Presumably, some of the Peavy savings could help them meet their planned spending there, too.

With Adrian Gonzalez eligible for free agency after the 2011 season, the chance of retaining him may have improved today with the Peavy trade. Moorad has said the club will listen to serious inquiries on Gonzalez in the off season, yet even if the Gonzalez talks rekindle, which I expect they will, clearing the $17 million due Peavy in 2012 gives the Padres more leeway to offer big bucks to Gonzalez. [InsideThePadres]

This economic relief will be crucial for the Padres. If they fail to sign Tate and the other dynamic talent taken in June the Padres are doomed.......it also opens up money for Adrian Gonzalez. Check out Tom Krasovic's blog.....he knows the Padres even if your only real concern, on this July 31st, 2009 AD, is the San Diego Chargers.

How about White Sox fans? Do they feel they got the better end of it? From Luol's Dong:

Now, if you're even close to a regular Dong reader, you already know why I don't like Peavy. I wrote that bit in reference to him coming to the Cubs - all of those negatives are amplified and then some when you talk about putting him on the White Sox. Not only does the ERA get the usual "moved from NL to AL" boost, but you've got the California "whoa dude chill out" personality of Peavy mixing with the "HEY KID! $%!& YOU TRY $%#&ING HARDER!" of Ozzie. I don't expect it to end well.

There's also the fact that we traded just about every pitching prospect we have to get him. Seriously. Poreda, Richard, Carter and Russell all went away, leaving the next viable AAA starters of Carlos Torres, Kelvin Jimenez...Jeff Marquez...and Freddy Garcia. Notice the drop-off there from "might be useful in the future" to "it's only an acid enema." This is not the way to grow youth.

But hey - I can't bitch about having him now that we do, so WELCOME TO CHICAGO, JAKE PEAVY. I invite you to try our luxurious medical suites, hospital food, and reclining beds as you ride the disabled list to success.

Side note: Watch Clayton Richard completely dominate for the rest of the season in the NL. Book it. [Luol's Dong]

I disagree with the assertion that Jake Peavy has a "California 'whoa dude chill out' personality" and that it could cause his failures in Chicago. If anything it will be arm ailments that do him in. I love the Clayton Richard projection, though.

This is a fantastic trade. Jake Peavy gave us a great tenure and while his post-season performances left something to be desired I'll fondly remember his time in San Diego. When I go out to the park I'll proudly wear my 1984 retro Peavy jersey.

But we must face a grim reality as fans of the San Diego Padres. The economic constraints of this organization will not allow us to keep players for the duration of their careers. The only way the Padres can become a viable entity is to develop young talent, control young talent, and then trade that mature developed talent for a surplus of youth. It is our cycle of rebirth, the Padres' Samsara.

DO NOT GET ATTACHED TO THESE PLAYERS.

They must go to replenish our team and provide opportunity for future success. Be a Buddhist in your support of the Padres or any team for that matter.....attachment leads to suffering.....detach yourselves, Padre fans, and accept that these teams must be ephemeral to ensure future success. So while Kras' points out that there is now money available for a possible Adrian Gonzalez I am instead preparing myself for the inevitability that he will be dealt to the Red Sox in the off season and I will be the holder of another Padre jersey whose name sake is off playing in another city. It is OK......

As a fan I have converted to Buddhism. So too should you.

Friday Afternoon Link Delight 7/31

The DELIGHT
Never been a huge Shakira fan.....that has officially changed. I want to dance [Sharapova's Thigh]
The 20 Sexiest Rock Star Spawn [Coed]
What is Denise Richards really known for? [Funny or Die]

The VIDEO
Tweet Boxx-From Pac Man Jones to Sarah Palin....."Joe Six-Pac-Man?" [Break Media]

We've featured a couple of DJ Steve Porter's remixes. Here's the Vince Sham Wow remix [DJ Steve Porter]

The AUDIO
Strasburg a Padre? Are We Dreaming [619 Sports]

Ed Hochuli's a stand-up guy. How can you not like him .....even if he did f#*$ us out of a win last year [XX1090-Scott & BR]
Kevin Acee talks Charger position battles [XX1090-Darren Smith]
AJ Smith is funny, then talks Chargers [XX1090-Darren Smith]

The WRITTEN WORD
Geoff Young's weekly Padre analysis. An interesting take on evaluating whether or not the youngsters are getting a fair shot and if they are performing. Not as good as the Shakira video, but entertaining nonetheless [Ducksnorts]

Ricky Henderson to the Hall of Fame....(could he be the one HOFer that Canseco hinted was a PED user)....Ricky and Me [619 Sports]

The END

David Ortiz And The Brilliance of Manny Ramirez

The New York times leaked two more names from the 2003 confidential PED test today. The names: Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz. Manny Ramirez gave a heartfelt and logical explanation for their names being part of the failed '03 test:

Manny Ramirez tells ESPN's Bob Holzman that 50 game suspension was embarrassing but release of his name "isn't that big of a deal"
Ramirez: "Me and David (Ortiz) are mountains: This isn't going to have any impact on either of us. We're both going to keep hitting."

Well it wasn't really logical nor was it heartfelt. It was a pretty arrogant statement, though.What an idiot.

What say you, Faithful Eleven?

The Hardwick Exception: A Simple Rule For Those Living in San Diego

I was listening to Charger center Nick Hardwick do his new weekly segment with Darren Smith on XX1090 last week and it was one of his last statements that resonated most with me. Hardwick took exception with a particular brand of behavior and called for a new rule, an edict, a canon if you will. This exception led to him requesting a general code of principal for fans to follow. I couldn't agree more with the tenets of the Hardwick Exception.

One of my co-conspirators and I were discussing the very same issue set forth below not more than two weeks ago and at that time I asked for him to contribute an op/ed piece on the topic......I am still waiting. Nevertheless, this post will serve as the introduction to a forthcoming rant which shall delve much deeper into the subject.

Without further adieu, the words of Nick Hardwick (kind of a shaky transcript of the podcast with a few omissions from the big fella as well as a couple comments from Darren Smith omitted):

We gotta sell this thing out man. I tell ya what I'm sick of--is a lot of Raider fans in the crowd, and I've got a rule I want to put into place about these ticket sales but I don't think it's my place--but just go get your tickets......Here's the thing though--if you've been here longer than five years, and you show up wearing an Eagles jersey or a Steelers jersey to our game, they need to ID you, and if you're from there that's ok, but if your license says California on it...I'll buy your ticket from you...that way I don't have to listen to you.....Cuz our fans are fantastic but I hate that one time a year thing, when ya know, 'hey I'm from Washington', Well who cares ya been here 5 years, yer not goin' back. Ya know what I mean? There's that 5 year rule. You're here, buy in, dig it.

So there it is.....The Hardwick Exception..... Once you've lived here for 5 years start acting like it. He's 6'4", 295 lbs and has 2 arms sleeved in tattoos--I wouldn't take exception to those numbers.

Don't be a jagoff. Do you live in San Diego or not?

You're here.....buy in.....dig it!

Editor's Note:
If you want to catch the part of the interview where #61 discusses this point click the link in the first paragraph and fast forward it to the end. It's worth it.

The Growing Diversity of The San Diego Padres

It's refreshing to see the Padres have embraced an increased Latin influence within the organization as evidenced by some of the past signings of young Dominican and Venezuelan talent as well as the expanding Venezuelan contingent on the active roster. This sort of diversity can be great for future free-agent signings when they witness a clubhouse full of players they can relate to. In addition to the south of the border flavor we also have a distinct and traditional Pennsylvania Dutch look:

Brother Chadediah Gaudin, San Diego's Amish representative. Here's to tapping into the rural farmland of Pennsylvania (Chadediah Gaudin, who incidentally, is holding the Natinals to 1 run through 7 innings).

Editor's Note:
Padres versus Nationals 1-1 in the 8th. When the teams have woeful offenses.....does it qualify as a pitchers duel?

Providence Intervenes: Charger LB, Matt Wilhelm Released

I received a text message today and it read:

"Chargers just got rid of Wilhelm--Praise be to Allah!"

I guess prayer five times a day can achieve divine intervention......Charger Fans sigh in relief.

Back in January when the Bolts got knocked out by the Steelers I wrote a post which basically gave a laundry list of reasons why Wilhelm needed to go (one of which was his high five of Santonio Holmes after his TD punt return and another was his willingness to help the opposition to their feet after every play). In that post I used Malcolm X and Machiavelli to try and explain the type of LB Wilhelm needed to be. Now we get references to Allah. How does such a nice guy from middle America get linked to such controversial historical figures as those? It does not matter...our defense just got better. Best wishes to the Wilhelm family, personally and professionally.

Go back in time and read one of this site's most viewed posts of the year......the one where we feel guilty for being so critical of such a nice guy.

Pardon me.......can I help you up?

Friday Afternoon Link Delight 7/24

The DELIGHT
The 69 sexiest woman dressed as Wonder Woman [Manofest]
Aussie Erin McNaught: Thigh of the Week [Sharapova's Thigh]
Did Heather Graham Do This On Purpose? [Don Chavez]

The VIDEO
The top ten women car wash scenes [Uncoached]
More Tweet Boxx......Ron Artest raps about Viagra and his swagger [Break Media]

Enjoy some Ben Harper while you scroll down and read some of the crap that I wrote this week. Seriously.

The AUDIO
Trade Adrian Gonzalez? [619 Sports]

In an interesting admission, Kevin Towers laments the fate of any poor soul who dare take the job of Hitting Instructor for the San Diego Padres [XX1090-w/Darren Smith]

Which free agents will the Chargers ink after '09 [619 Sports]

The WRITTEN WORD
LaDainian Tomlinson versus Emmitt Smith: Comparing Career Arcs [Bolts From The Blue]

Tom Krasovic has a blog and still covers the Padres. Bet he wishes he didn't. [InsideThePadres]

These two letters are funny insights into being fans of teams that suck. The "Padres" could just as easily be substituted for Pirates.....although the Padres don't really hold a candle to some of the young talent shipped off by the Pirates, which is quite sad.

Dear Pirates: We'd like some of your players too...[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
Dear Desperate Mets Fan [The Sports Enchilada]

The END

....and then Padres' CEO Jeff Moorad Described John Moores Blood

Jeffrey Moorad was on XX1090 this afternoon and he talked about a good many things:

1. Firing front office personnel/Economy is not good.
   
2. Why the Padres suck/One day they wont, promise (they have a plan, shhh)!
   
3. An Extension for Bud Black/Would have fired him earlier this season.
   
4. If we fail to sign 1st round draft pick Donovan Tate, it's alright/We'll get compensation next year/Uh-oh, here we go!
   

I'll go ahead and stop. He said a lot of stuff and if you want to listen to it I'll provide a link: Jeffrey Moorad with Darren Smith Thursday July 23rd [XX1090]

Now perhaps I should be thinking about the above talking points or focusing my consternation on the Moorad assertion that the organization WILL INCREASE PAYROLL IN 2010......IF THEY SEE SUPPORT IN 2009......HELL'S BELLS! The team stinks and attendance is down! I guess we know where payroll is going next year.

The above comments are worrisome but really, it was the Moorad quote about John Moores' blood that was the most glaring and deserving of scrutiny:

Darren Smith: "What does John Moores have to say about this team?"
Jeff Moorad: "......he hurts and bleeds Padre Blue just like the rest of us."

Doesn't that just sound wrong? Dodger Blue, yes. Padre Blue, no!

Padres are fucking Brown. Maybe that's where Mr. Moorad should start....by getting this organization an identity.

What say you? Are Padres brown?

Better Know A Charger: 1963 AFL Champs

I came across an article at a website called the Professional Football Researchers Association that discussed the 1963 edition of the San Diego Chargers.......AFL Champion, San Diego Chargers.

It can be read and downloaded as a five page PDF but I included an excerpt (essentially the conclusion) which discusses the probability that the Chargers would have defeated the NFL Champion Chicago Bears in 1963 as well as the Chargers' impact on the junior league as a whole. I also included this particular bit because the owner of the Boston Patriots mentions that the Chargers did the AFL a favor by stomping the bejezzeus out of the Pats (I colored up the language....see direct quote below).

Sid Gilman added fuel to the fire, saying "We're champions of the world. If anyone wants to debate it, let them play us."

In the aftermath of their win over the Patriots, Otto Graham, the former Cleveland Browns' star QB, thought the Chargers were the best team in football that year. "If the Chargers could play the best in the NFL," Graham said after the AFL title game, "I'd have to pick the Chargers."

Patriots' team owner Billy Sullivan acknowledged that despite the final score of the title game, the Chargers' impressive win benefited the young AFL, even if it had to come at the expense of Sullivan's team. "It almost killed me to have to watch it." Sullivan said," But when you think about it from the stand point of our league, then you'd have to say that San Diego did us all a favor."

Indeed. Whether or not the Chargers could have defeated the Bears in a Super Bowl following the 1963 season will never be known. What is certain however, is that the Chargers established themselves as the first of the AFL's super teams. In so doing, they became the first AFL champion to invite serious comparisons with the best of the NFL. Which in 1963, was victory in itself for a league still struggling to create its own identity.

It feels kind of good to hear some positive things about a San Diego team, to see the word Champion bandied about. I also enjoy seeing Patriots acquiesce to the Powd-ah Blue. Here's to 2009-'10.

Another interesting aside.

Time Diminishes And Can Even Eliminate Hate: Uncle Teddy Edition

In the 9th grade I wrote an essay, the title of which escapes me. The content however, will be something I always remember. It was about a San Diego sportscaster who was loud, opinionated and extremely obtuse in regards to some of the sports I enjoyed most.

I had only lived in SD for a couple of years yet my opinion was molded quickly and assuredly regarding this man. I hated him. I hated everything about him. The disparaging remarks about the game of hockey and its controversial fundamentals of fighting to the constant need to make himself the center of the news story.......always a journalist no, no. I still have some pieces of writing from my High School days but this essay, unfortunately, was one that survives only in reminiscence. I vividly recall labeling this man a simpleton as I scribbled away about his inadequacies. This man who drew my ire still thrives in these parts.....you know him as Uncle Teddy.

Yes I hated the Padres' play-by-play radio announcer Ted Leitner and I suspect I wasn't the only one. I can only speak for myself when I say that time has assuaged my personal dislike for Uncle Ted and I have grown rather fond of him. I love the Padres and such devotion gives me plenty of exposure to the man. While he's still opinionated I find myself appreciating many of his convictions. From his condemnation of Barry Bonds and Manny Ramirez to his deep admiration of his color partner, Jerry Coleman. To listen to Ted is to be immersed in baseball knowledge as well as extreme homer-ism....and I'm fine with that....I can live with the occasional lapses in judgement that have caused Ted to heap praise on to some pretty abysmal San Diego squads. I've listened to a few of the "great" broadcasters out there and they're just as guilty of biased attention towards "their" team. After all, it's the MLB club that hires the radio station to do their games so the opportunities to be critical should be few and far between......if, of course, 1090 wants to keep the Padres. So Ted is what he is and I happen to enjoy that about him.

I mention because: I was listening to the game the other night and it was vintage Ted Leitner. It was his classic affectation of, "Hey, those are My Padres!"......

My Padres My Padres My Padres My Padres My Padres

I've always thought about it as a classic San Diego homer-ism, until that is, Ted explained something during that game. He hearkened back to his Channel 8 days and explained how while doing his telecasts and describing a Padre win he framed the story as:

My Padres did this, that and the other.......

But when the Padres lost he framed the story quite differently. When the Friars failed he changed the possessive pronoun from my to your......as in:

Your Padres did this, that and the other........

Ted washin' his hands of Padre futility, now this was an explanation that made sense. After the snafus of '08 & '09 will he bring it back?

Whatever the case, I laughed, learned and in the process found a little more admiration for the Uncle.

Jerry Coleman and Ted Leitner

2003 Trades and 2009 Trades: A Common Thread

I've been thinking about the 2003 season a lot lately. Not so much the glory that was the Yankees losing another World Series. Nor was it the unfortunate Cubs collapse coupled with the Steve Bartman fall out. What I've been focusing on is a mid season trade that bolstered a certain team's playoff run. The trade in mind left me with one simple question at the time: "Whuuuut?"

In July of 2003 there was a team that sat 4 1/2 games back in the Wild Card race and felt they needed to make a move to position themselves for a run. Their team was built to win NOW with a nice mix of veteran ballplayers......pricey veteran ballplayers. This team's particular need was a closer so they put together a package to go get one. To get an elite closer the contending team offered up the following three players: an OF, a LHP, and a 1b. The trade partner agreed and sent the closer traveling eastward along with some cash to offset the pricey reliever's contract.

Now back in 2003 what gave me pause, forcing me to question, "Whuuuut?"?

The 1b that was a part of the deal was the overall #1 draft pick from the 2000 amateur draft: a local kid: the San Diego Padres' Adrian Gonzalez. I was in awe......how could his team give up on their #1 pick only three years later? Well his team was the Florida Marlins and I guess their front office was on to something because the closer, Ugueth Urbina, seemed to be the missing ingredient in helping the Florida Marlins to win the Wild card, defeat the heavily favored Cubs, and then the vaunted payroll of the New York Yankees in the World Series.

Florida certainly wouldn't redo their own trade that sent Gonzalez to Texas. Urbina eventually assumed the Marlins closer role and -- reunited with Pudge -- won three games, saved six, and posted a 1.41 ERA to help them get to the postseason. He then recorded four saves in the playoffs, including two in the World Series.

Why have I been thinking about this? Well there is no secret that the Padres not only stink but that the likelihood of them stinking will probably last for at least three more seasons (give or take a lifetime). It is also no secret that the Padres have virtually no trade chips that are major league ready.......by the standards of a contending club......and that could also bring the Padres some significant building blocks for the future. Do the Padres even have trade-able parts?

Jake Peavy is injured and had a no-trade clause anyways. Adrian Gonzalez, who's value brought a WS to south Florida, could bring a significant haul but a deal such as that could be debilitating for the Padres: he's a local icon with inroads to the Mexican market and probably most importantly he's the sort of star who could provide a Hall of Fame worthy career....or at least worthy of a statue next to Tony's which would give additional identity to an organization that seems to lack one. Kevin Kouzmanoff will probably ship out in the next couple of weeks but the only real benefit there will we the opportunity for Chase Headley into his natural position of 3b. Which leaves us with the most attractive trade chip..... with the caveat that there is a team out there in dire need of it. The " it" I speak of.....a closer.

Heath Bell makes 1.255 million per season. That's an attractive number for a team adding payroll mid year. While Heath Bell is an exciting player (on the rare occasion we hold a lead late in a game) and brings a refreshing dose of honesty (he says some of the craziest shit I've ever heard on the radio---sometimes it's fun to just shake your head in disbelief though) rather than the customary cliches we've become so accustomed to. There is currently an enormous paradox being ignored regarding these Padres though:

If the Padres rarely hold a lead entering the 9th inning and the expected outcome shall remain the same for the foreseeable future....why use financial resources on an unused human resource?

And he's 31 years old. I don't think that necessarily means his power arm is on the verge of injury although he does strike me as the sort of guy who could injure his arm falling out of a tree while playing with his kids. Heath Bell has value...he's a Great closer...and he could help further along the rebuilding process in San Diego. If he could bring back a few players in return, one of which was a top prospect, I say do it.

The question is whether or not there is a team out there that is built to win now and feels that giving up the sort of players Florida did back in 2003 would be worthwhile. That is for another post....one which will be titled: Part II.

Swapping Stories: The Urbina trade
The under-appreciated greatness of Adrian Gonzalez

Editor's Note: #1 While searching for pictures I came across a Miami based blog that made the same reference and suggestion that I proposed here.....that's what I get for lagging....I'm publishing it anyways since it's already written. The Miami based writer goes as far as suggesting that Heath Bell should go to Florida for Dan Uggla...check it out. A trade that makes sense for both sides

Editor's Note #2:
Steve Bartman gets a bad rap and the city of Chicago should be ashamed for attacking one of their own, a fella who clearly has passion for the lovable losers. To shun a guy for trying to catch a fly ball...inexcusable....the Cubbies blew that game on their own. Now the guy who introduced Da Curse of the Billy Goat ........ Chicagoans should be getting after that guy's ancestors!

San Diego's Splendid Splinter

The final ball Ted Williams ever hit is denoted by that red seat...way out in RF. I've been to Fenway to see it, twice. Those years also happen to be years that the Sox won the WS so if some wealthy New Englander is seeing the connection I will gladly accept transport and accommodation this season to act as a talisman.

One of the earliest books I recall reading multiple times and referencing ad infinitum was Ted Williams' The Science of Hitting. During that period of time I played a game at his high school, Hoover, and the field named in his honor. I now live a long and lazy fly ball from Ted Williams Parkway. In the way of sports history, San Diego's is brief and fairly uneventful....but we do have Ted Williams..... a San Diego Padre way back in 1937.

I mention this because I just saw his documentary on HBO. It was well done and I enjoyed the prominent roles that both Jerry Coleman and Tony Gwynn played in helping to recount Teddy Ballgame's story. As an admirer of baseball history I also loved looking at the pursuit of numbers, the statistics. Ted Williams' career numbers are other worldly and absolutely sick.......even though he lost nearly 5 whole years of his prime serving in World War II and Korea. It's obscene to extrapolate what his final line would have looked like had he arrived on the scene just a decade later.

Despite the career numbers and the distinguished military record I somehow get the feeling that Ted Williams might be the sort of player that I can't stand in today's game.......surly, cocky and uncharacteristically absent when the stage is the biggest. As I consider The Splendid Splinter's flaws and attempt to compare him to some of the malcontents of recent memory, I quickly snap to, and consider a couple of remarkable anecdotes set forth about the baseball player......which ultimately lead to understanding of the man:

• On the final day of 1941 Ted Williams, with a double header scheduled, sat on a .3996 batting average, good enough for a rounded-up and official average of .400. That was not good enough for Ted Williams as sitting was unthinkable---"If I can't hit .400 all the way, I don't deserve it." Ted Williams played that double header, went 6 for 8 to finish at .406, and became the last man to surpass the mythical barrier. Wow, nearly 70 years ago. Here's another Williams quote that would seem at odds with today's MLB player: "If I was being paid thirty-thousand dollars a year, the very least I could do was hit .400."

• I believe it was his last season when he visited with his GM and received his contract for $135, 000. He refused this amount claiming that his performance from the previous season didn't warrant such a figure........he instead took $90,000.

Those two points say a lot about the man. Enough for me to reconsider and say that there's no way I'd compare him to some of the fellas that embarrass the game regularly today.

San Diego bore the greatest hitter who ever lived.....so we've got that going for us.....which is nice.

For John Updike's classic, Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu [Baseball Almanac]

Friday Afternoon Link Delight 7/17

The DELIGHT
I'm in the "Erin Andrew is overrated" camp (I think it's a very small faction within humanity). But you have to admire this dress that Erin Andrews wore to The ESPYS (what's with the clodhopper shoes though?).....click to go see a bunch of other starlets wearing the same dress and notice the one feature that makes Erin's presentation better. [Hot Clicks]

In Honor of the British Open.....British chicks [Gunaxin]

The VIDEO
More Tweetbox .....Ochenta y Cinco's retardation is featured [Break Media]

Need more evidence that Chris Berman is a douche? Watch TMZ interviewing Evan Longoria w/ Berman in the background [TMZ]

The AUDIO
Padres Report Card part I [619 Sports]
Padres Report Card part II [619 Sports]

Kevin Towers [XX1090-Darren Smith]
Bob Scanlan [XX1090-Coach]

Phillip Rivers and how he let that HS kid beat him [XX1090-Darren Smith]
Gary Wishard who serves as Antonio Cromartie's agent. Does not say definitively whether or not he has recommended a vasectomy [XX1090-Scott&BR]

The WRITTEN WORD
Your Favorite Team is Probably Not That Popular. Where do the Padres rank? [Jorge Says No]
More Baseball HOF opinions analyzed [The Daily Something]
Analysis--Selig: No more rehab for PED returnees [It's About The Money Stupid]

Top Ten Reasons for Romo/Simpson Split [Gunaxin]

The END
Enjoy the weekend singing the new Misfits' anti-tribute to Chris Berman

Memo to Actresses: Show commitment to your craft by being awesome

Signing out of my MSN account, the first thing I noticed was the entertainment section......and not because of the Romo/Simpson split and its obvious NFL connection. Yes, my starvation for football has reached its summer zenith but I felt captivated by another title line and I sought news of much greater personal relevance and import. A story that, if accessed and found to be true, could very well be considered an existential threat to this blog.

Now I don't concern myself with some fella slippin' one through the 5-hole on Penelope Cruz nor am I inclined to read up on a geriatric Roy Hobbs shackin' up with his new Missus......

.....my concern stemmed from the penultimate-minus-one headline (is there a word for third to the last?). A headline with the inference of the oh so dreaded....

"I'm an actress who wants to be taken seriously therefore I will immerse myself in my craft, and thus character, to such a degree that the world will stop viewing my beauty only."

Chills up the spine of my laptop......could it have meant that Avenging Jack Murphy's wise sage might be engaging in the most drastic of actions........marring her beauty for art?

This is just not funny, not funny at all.....fearful I am to click the aforementioned link......visions of actresses past dancing in my head. My personal reference point for Charlize Theron has always been the first roll I ever saw her in----2 Days In The Valley. Is this not how, you too, evoke images of Ms. Theron?

Charlize Theron, Teri Hatcher, and spandex are the types of visual senses that rapidly pass through the brain's receptors and get the neurons firing like it was Independence Day.....at least in 1996 they did.....Charlize Theron had to go prove she was devoted to her craft, got rid of her figure, made herself ugly, and played a bull dike serial killer....

Thanks....thanks a lot you South African princess. My mind is seared with imagery of you as a horrific sociopath and you will never return to that vaunted status you achieved back in the mid '90s........but at least the world knows you're dedicated to your craft!

Which brings us to the unthinkable. We've heard of the Sage wanting to be taken more seriously as an actress.....to not just be eye candy for movie going males. Do we click this insidious teaser and take the chance of ruining this image.....forever!

For the love of the San Diego Chargers and this blog....what's behind the link....what's behind the fuckin' link?

Actress to pack on pounds for role [MSN]

Put In The call To Glenn Danzig......we're about to make him current via Chris Berman's inanity

The Schwam's ready to sing......are you?

Below, you'll find the modified lyrics for the Misfits' classic anthem, Die Die My Darling......with a slight alteration necessary to bring it into the new millennium.

It's amazing how easily the names Chris Berman/ Boomer/The Schwam piece themselves into this early '80s ode to an undesirable creature (a female in Glenn Danzig's case and an over the hill sports talking head in ours).

There are two camps on the Chris Berman issue:

1. Those who naively cling to the nostalgia of their youth (player nicknames and HR calls at the Hotel California) thus denying the current constructs of reality.
2. Those that have taken the red pill...stayed in Wonderland...and acknowledged Chris Berman's supreme douchey-ness.
   

To us though.....it is much, much, more......it is this blog's Zeitgeist. Hit the play button and sing along.......

"Die Die Chris Berman"

Die, die, die Chris Berman
Don't utter a single word
Die, die, die Chris Berman
Just shut your gaping mouth

I'll be seeing you again
I'll be seeing you in Hell

Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Your future's in an oblong box, yeah
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Should have seen it a-coming on
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
I don't know it was in your power
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Dead end Song for a dead end Schwam
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Now your life drains on the floor
Don't cry to me oh Boomer

Die, die, die Chris Berman
Don't utter a single word
Die, die, die Chris Berman
Just shut your gaping mouth

I'll be seeing you again
I'll be seeing you in Hell

Don't cry to me a Boomer
Your future is in an oblong box
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Should have seen the end a-coming on, a-coming
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
I don't know it was in your power
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Dead catch phrases for a dead end life
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Now your life drains on the floor
Don't cry to me oh Boomer

Die, die, die Chris Berman
Don't utter a single word
Die, die, die Chris Berman
Shut your gaping mouth

I'll be seeing you again
I'll be seeing you in Hell

Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Die, die, die Chris Berman
Don't cry to me oh Boomer
Die, die, die Chris Berman
Die, die, die Chris Berman
Die, die, die Chris Berman

Die, die, die, die, die, die....

I'll see you back, back, back, back in Hell, Berman!

Do The Right Thing: Pay Restitution On Behalf Of The Repressed Souls Victimized By NFL Quarterbacks

I don't really have any flowers at my house so I can't speak to the going rate for the pots that house said flowers. We did have a cactus of some sort on the patio and the clay pot it was prominently displayed in more likely than not cost somewhere in the range of $17-$24 bucks....but like I said, I don't know what a pot or for that matter a planter box would cost for a whole family of flowers to dwell. I spend my money on other stupid shit.

Now, believe it or not, there are people who don't actually have money to spend on stupid shit. These people may be on disability, extremely old or just vehemently non conformist. I like those who are vehemently or violently non-conformist but this story is not about that type of individual. This story is about an enterprising individual who, while long in the tooth, was not afraid to get his hands dirty searching through people's trash to get himself a little treasure. This man went through an affluent Boston neighborhood and found a couple of items placed next to the garbage bins of a pricey condominium. He took the items and garnered himself $450 bucks. An excellent haul for two fancy looking........flower boxes.

There is a problem though and I know what you're thinking. It is not that a human being, during the most daunting of economic times, would have the nerve to own something so frivolous. Nor is it the fact that the citizen in question would discard these valuables amongst the trash. The dilemma is much deeper than that. The real complication stems from the fact that the two planter boxes weren't trash.......and they were worth quite a bit more than $450 bucks.......did we mention that a surveillance camera caught our good protagonist, Dennis Paiva, in the act?

"Paiva took the planters to a scrapyard in Everett, collected $450 and was feeling pretty good about life. Right up until he got a call from a Boston police detective.

“The guy mentions I took some flower pots,” Paiva recalled. “I said,‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ He said, ‘We got you on the security camera.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, I took them, but they were out with the trash.’ He said, ‘You gotta get them back. You don’t even want to know who they belong to!’ (I added the bold type to bring your attention to the upcoming picture)"

Brokeback Brady....just not monetarily broke

Yes. America's ridiculously good looking male model QB pays $4,000 per flower box. Poor Dennis Paiva. What happened next, you ask?

"Nonetheless, the case worked its way through the system, and, according to Paiva, they offered him a plea deal. According to the Suffolk District Attorney’s Office, Dennis admitted he was guilty of larceny, he agreed to pay $4,000 restitution, and the case was continued without a finding for a year. If Paiva got into no more trouble, the charges would be dismissed.

Dennis said he took the deal because he didn’t want to take his chances at trial, what with the bank-robbery record and all. . . .

The story could have ended there, except that, a few weeks later, Paiva suffered an aneurysm and wound up in Massachusetts General Hospital having brain surgery."

Poor fella was stressed out and when he recovered Providence deemed him ready for yet another physical challenge......back surgery. So now poor Dennis Paiva panhandles from day to day so he can fulfill the obligations of his plea agreement and pay $333.33/month to a guy who's household income is roughly $60 million/year.

Now I'm no bleeding heart but I'd be negligent as your narrator if I didn't share the following personal anecdote. When I was 21 my world was turned up side down when I had my detachable face Sony CD car stereo stolen. Absolutely heartbreaking. As a college student I didn't have too much cash so this thief actually absconded with a substantial amount of my net worth. However.....I helped the police catch the poor SOB.....and when the detective spoke to me......I actually felt empathy for the guy and the direction his life might go after the incident. I felt he needed to learn a lesson but that throwing the book at him probably wasn't the answer. In the end, I got my CD player back.......and let's be honest in saying, that's all I really cared about. My point......

This website, as a purveyor of Patriot fueled disdain, has decided to help Mr. Paiva by releasing him from the dollar pinching talons of Tom Brady. With the considerable donations that this blog receives from subscribers such as The Faithful Eleven, as well as the sizable corporate advertising revenue, we have agreed to pay the required restitution on behalf of Mr. Paiva.* We thought this might be a way for Charger fans to show the world just how small of a man Tom Brady is.

Thank you to Matthew, one of The Faithful Eleven, who prodded us into acknowledging this event as newsworthy but more importantly in encouraging us to lend a helping hand to Mr. Paiva during his moment of need.

*OK so this entire thing is true with the exception of one detail: this blog is not a revenue builder in any way so the ability to pay a $4000 dollar fine is an impossibility. Part of this blog's mission statement however, is to uphold the altruistic values that were singular to other unappreciated prophets in the course of human history.......which is to say that we would have paid the Brady Trust if we had won the lottery last week. As it stands, the good Samaritan who stood up for the downtrodden riffraff of Massachusetts was a fine New Englander named Dan Greenwald. We salute you Mr. Greenwald.....and the SDPD Detective who helped us retrieve our Sony Detachable Face CD Player, back in the day.

Man To Panhandle After Stealing Tom Brady's Planters
Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime For Tom Brady
Agency Owner Pays Off Debt For Stranger

Adrian Gonzalez's HR Derby Performance: Sadly Intertwined With The Buck/Berman/ESPN Love-Fest

I was irritated like never before watching Adrian Gonzalez in the ASG Home Run Derby and it wasn't because of his power outage. This post is essentially the same one I posted at Gaslamp Ball earlier tonight...with a couple of enhancements.

I'll preface this complaint by saying that I am aware that the Home Run Derby is an exhibition within an exhibition that masquerades as something meaningful.......so who really cares.

However:

ESPN's coverage of Adrian's Derby ABs was a complete joke!

It was an uneventful performance that only lasted a shade under five minutes and you wouldn't have even known that Adrian Gonzalez was batting if that idiot Chris Berman hadn't stopped yapping his gums 35 seconds into Adrian's AB.

• First 35 seconds of AGon Derby AB consists of Berman talking about the Cardinals.
  
• AGon intro then lasts 7 seconds followed by quick segue back to Joe Buck.
• Joe Buck says how excited he is to see Adrian's performance in the Derby as well as in the ASG tomorrow because "Adrian Gonzalez is the best player you've never heard of.".......and as the last syllable rolls off of Buck's tongue, Berman jumps all over him with, "What was it like to be Jack Buck's son?".
• The Buck/Berman/Morgan/Phillips Love-Fest went on for the next 4 1/2 minutes while Adrian Gonzalez innocently slapped line drives around Busch. Adrian made his tenth out , took a seat, and toweled off......and then 30 seconds after he had finished, Berman acknowledged that Adrian had actually completed his turn in the competition.

Now if Adrian had started hitting some bombs perhaps the whole Jack Buck Love Fest / "St. Louis Cardinal Nation" History Lesson would have been brought to an end but here's my issue:

Joe Buck told a national audience that Adrian Gonzalez IS the best player you've never heard of and how he couldn't wait to watch him.....and then spent the next 5 minutes looking at the ESPN Desk waxing poetic about the Cardinal's rich history in the Midwest. Anyone on ESPN will also tell you that Adrian IS the best player you've never heard of.......yet they never took the opportunity to talk about him in front of a captive audience.

I'm not really surprised but what a fu@*ing joke!

I'll work on obtaining some email addresses if anyone is inclined to fire off some complaints.

In the meantime here's some YouTube fueled hatred:

Chris Berman's nicknames and HR calls were cool....when I was 12. Now he's a douchey caricature of himself.

This is arguably one of the best plays in Super Bowl history. Would you know it from the Joe Buck call?

Chris Berman and Joe Buck.....dickheads.

Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger: Installment Two: Anniversary Edition

So it's been one year today and an enjoyable one, a heightened sense of fanaticism during these past twelve months. Good Times.

In honor of the anniversary we thought we'd revisit an old theme that was also first done in July of last year: a spin on Stephen Colbert's Tip of the Hat/ Wag of the Finger. Last year we Tipped Rocky's Crown Pub and Wagged RT's Longboard Grill.

This year it was our intention to give the Wag of The Finger to a local eatery called Bite of Boston. Upon loading up on bagels and coffee one Sunday morning we peeked through the window of this new neighborhood establishment and we gained and uneasy sense of queasiness as we gazed upon walls decorated in the loathed New England Patriot colors. We decided to email ownership and here's how it went.....

Bite of Boston Ownership:

As sports fans we respect the allegiance you show to your Boston sports teams by adorning the walls of your establishment with Boston jerseys.

As eaters of sandwiches and Charger fans however, we must take umbrage with the display of Tom Brady's #12 jersey. San Diego often gets labeled as a laid back sports town but when it comes to Charger football we are quite passionate. Our passions also extend to a deep rooted loathing of the New England Patriots. Bruin, Celtics, and Sox jerseys won't ruffle too man feathers.....but a Patriot Jersey in San Diego is an affront to our dignity...a callous slap in the face.

These are uncertain economic times and we would hate to see your business suffer due to the insistence of hanging a Tom Brady jersey in your establishment. Please remove Mr.Brady's jersey and replace it with a Philip Rivers powder blue #17 as a show of good faith towards the community of San Diego.

Respectfully

Avenging Jack Murphy

(Bite of Boston)
Will do.

We will take it down immediately and replace it instead with either a Philip Rivers #17 powder blue OR a framed gray sweatsuit from Mr. Warmth & Excitement, Coach Bill Belichick.

We'll decide by the end of this week about the Tom Brady jersey replacement.

Your feedback is much appreciated....

FYI, we are big-time Chargers fans. Love the franchise!!

Regards,

Owners, Bite of Boston (tongues planted firmly in cheek!!)

(We)
I visited Bite of Boston the other day and I will say that the steak tip sandwich I ordered was outstanding despite having that Tom Brady jersey looming over me while I ate.

While there is no Philip Rivers jersey present, I enjoyed seeing Dan Fouts represented as well as other assorted pieces of San Diego memorabilia.

Good sandwiches and homage to Dan Fouts have persuaded me to give a Tip of the Hat and retract my earlier Wag of the Finger for Bite of Boston.

However I would be remiss if I failed to mention that your establishment would grow leaps and bounds with the simple removal of the blue #12 that ominously hovers over the people of San Diego.......c'mon, you know it should be a Vinatieri #4 hanging there anyways.

Respectfully
Avenging Jack Murphy

(Bite of Boston)
Thanks for the retraction!!!

It always comes back to the food!! That's where we put all of our energy.... The decor is there because the walls were too bland. I did indeed have Chargers, Padres and SDSU memorabilia on the wall because a) we're smart enough to know our local customers and b) we are HUGE Chargers and Padres fans, except for maybe one or two times a year when they go up against the Boston clubs!!

I have an idea that might benefit both of us: if you can secure a powder-blue Rivers or LT jersey (preferably autographed), then I will pay to have it framed and mounted in our restaurant wall... Let me know.

Also, don't be bashful about introducing yourself to us next time you visit!!

Regards,

Bob

......and so it goes. Perhaps a detente in the Patriot/Charger fan Cold War? Fans brought together by sandwiches.....only time will tell......the 2009 playoffs?

In the meantime, use this Tip of the Hat as impetus to go to Bite of Boston, and enjoy some great food........just don't steal the Patriot Helmet on the shelf sitting above the soda pop refrigerator.

Happy Birthday to us.

Friday Afternoon Link Delight 7/10---Anniversary Edition

The DELIGHT
Yesterday's SI.com Hot Clicks brought us Eva Longoria. For a direct link to an EL gallery [Maxim]

Lorena Bernal: Wag Watch #11.....be careful where you view this one [Gunaxin]

The VIDEO
How did the Dodger's welcome Manny back? With a baby shower of course....[Gunaxin]

Passive aggressive attacks on idiotic celebrity Twitter Tweets [Tweet Boxx: Break Media]

I'll go ahead and pimp my own post showcasing DJ Steve Porter's AI/Practice take [AJM]

The AUDIO
Elsten and Ello explore whether AGon should take a rest in, Pooped out Pads Fall Into Last Place [619 Sports]

GM Kevin Towers talks Hairston trade and the minutiae of sucking [XX1090-Darren Smith]

VP of Scouting Grady Fuson talks about acquisitions from Oakland........and the minutiae of sucking [XX1090-Coach Kentera]

The WRITTEN WORD
Charger Fans....this should begin firing you up [Bolts From The Blue]
2009 Charger Preview by the Gridiron Experts...don't know if they're experts but I liked what I heard [Gridiron Experts]

AJM's Best (eh, kind of).......Anniversary Edition
Dan Shaughnessy: "You Suck San Diego" [AJM]
What Can Brown do for you? [AJM]
Steely Moments in Civil Disobedience [AJM]
Jake Peavy Hates You Bloggers [AJM]

The End
Have a great weekend.....and don't worry about this blog.....it's all growns up.

1 Year Anniversary: In Honor of our Roots

Really New England? Could your QB be any more.......what's the politically correct way to say this?

Fackin quee-uh???

Happy Birthday to us!