I don't really have any flowers at my house so I can't speak to the going rate for the pots that house said flowers. We did have a cactus of some sort on the patio and the clay pot it was prominently displayed in more likely than not cost somewhere in the range of $17-$24 bucks....but like I said, I don't know what a pot or for that matter a planter box would cost for a whole family of flowers to dwell. I spend my money on other stupid shit.
Now, believe it or not, there are people who don't actually have money to spend on stupid shit. These people may be on disability, extremely old or just vehemently non conformist. I like those who are vehemently or violently non-conformist but this story is not about that type of individual. This story is about an enterprising individual who, while long in the tooth, was not afraid to get his hands dirty searching through people's trash to get himself a little treasure. This man went through an affluent Boston neighborhood and found a couple of items placed next to the garbage bins of a pricey condominium. He took the items and garnered himself $450 bucks. An excellent haul for two fancy looking........flower boxes.
There is a problem though and I know what you're thinking. It is not that a human being, during the most daunting of economic times, would have the nerve to own something so frivolous. Nor is it the fact that the citizen in question would discard these valuables amongst the trash. The dilemma is much deeper than that. The real complication stems from the fact that the two planter boxes weren't trash.......and they were worth quite a bit more than $450 bucks.......did we mention that a surveillance camera caught our good protagonist, Dennis Paiva, in the act?
"Paiva took the planters to a scrapyard in Everett, collected $450 and was feeling pretty good about life. Right up until he got a call from a Boston police detective.
“The guy mentions I took some flower pots,” Paiva recalled. “I said,‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ He said, ‘We got you on the security camera.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, I took them, but they were out with the trash.’ He said, ‘You gotta get them back. You don’t even want to know who they belong to!’ (I added the bold type to bring your attention to the upcoming picture)"
Brokeback Brady....just not monetarily broke
Yes. America's ridiculously good looking male model QB pays $4,000 per flower box. Poor Dennis Paiva. What happened next, you ask?
"Nonetheless, the case worked its way through the system, and, according to Paiva, they offered him a plea deal. According to the Suffolk District Attorney’s Office, Dennis admitted he was guilty of larceny, he agreed to pay $4,000 restitution, and the case was continued without a finding for a year. If Paiva got into no more trouble, the charges would be dismissed.
Dennis said he took the deal because he didn’t want to take his chances at trial, what with the bank-robbery record and all. . . .
The story could have ended there, except that, a few weeks later, Paiva suffered an aneurysm and wound up in Massachusetts General Hospital having brain surgery."
Poor fella was stressed out and when he recovered Providence deemed him ready for yet another physical challenge......back surgery. So now poor Dennis Paiva panhandles from day to day so he can fulfill the obligations of his plea agreement and pay $333.33/month to a guy who's household income is roughly $60 million/year.
Now I'm no bleeding heart but I'd be negligent as your narrator if I didn't share the following personal anecdote. When I was 21 my world was turned up side down when I had my detachable face Sony CD car stereo stolen. Absolutely heartbreaking. As a college student I didn't have too much cash so this thief actually absconded with a substantial amount of my net worth. However.....I helped the police catch the poor SOB.....and when the detective spoke to me......I actually felt empathy for the guy and the direction his life might go after the incident. I felt he needed to learn a lesson but that throwing the book at him probably wasn't the answer. In the end, I got my CD player back.......and let's be honest in saying, that's all I really cared about. My point......
This website, as a purveyor of Patriot fueled disdain, has decided to help Mr. Paiva by releasing him from the dollar pinching talons of Tom Brady. With the considerable donations that this blog receives from subscribers such as The Faithful Eleven, as well as the sizable corporate advertising revenue, we have agreed to pay the required restitution on behalf of Mr. Paiva.* We thought this might be a way for Charger fans to show the world just how small of a man Tom Brady is.
Thank you to Matthew, one of The Faithful Eleven, who prodded us into acknowledging this event as newsworthy but more importantly in encouraging us to lend a helping hand to Mr. Paiva during his moment of need.
*OK so this entire thing is true with the exception of one detail: this blog is not a revenue builder in any way so the ability to pay a $4000 dollar fine is an impossibility. Part of this blog's mission statement however, is to uphold the altruistic values that were singular to other unappreciated prophets in the course of human history.......which is to say that we would have paid the Brady Trust if we had won the lottery last week. As it stands, the good Samaritan who stood up for the downtrodden riffraff of Massachusetts was a fine New Englander named Dan Greenwald. We salute you Mr. Greenwald.....and the SDPD Detective who helped us retrieve our Sony Detachable Face CD Player, back in the day.
Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime For Tom Brady
Agency Owner Pays Off Debt For Stranger
Let's find this guy and send him a Chargers hat and money...email me for donations.
ReplyDelete