Merriman versus Tequilla: The City in the Country (aka Poway) has not been kind to Chargers

I know some kids from Poway...they were pool hopping, ice blocking, throwing a dummy in the road or some crap like that...this is what they witnessed amidst the juvenile hijinks:

[Shawne Merriman, Bold. Tila Tequila, Italic]

Baby...you're beautiful. Nobody's hotter than you. I'll never even look at other ho's

Whatever. F*ck you and that last stupid whore you were dating.

Baby...you da bomb. I'm over that beat ol' ho. [caresses her like he's Billy Dee Williams]

F*ck You....where's my drink? Why'd you take my drink? [gives stink eye]

Honey...you don't need to finish that drink...it's 3:30 AM

F*ck you, you f*ckin' 'roid f*ck! [pulls hair from her mouth]

[Man's impeccably poor timing for breaking up with a girl rears it's ugly head]

This ain't workin' baby. I dig you but this is too much drama. I got a Lombardi Trophy to win & a contract to get. [flexes pecs]

What the f*ck are you sayin'? You gonna go f*ck that Gloria Velez ho again?

B*tch, you better recognize...[raises pimp hand]

Who you callin' a b*tch? Nobody calls me a b*tch. I'm outta here...where my keys?

Fine! Get to steppin' you midget crack whore![waves hand dismissively]

[Conscience enters room at 3;32 AM]

You're not going anywhere. Calm down. Go back into the house with my friends.

F*ck you. I'm leaving. [storms off]

You not leaving. You too drunk.

F*ck you. Washed up has-been!

I'm not letting you leave.

The f*ck you are! I will kick you in the f*ckin' knee, you ape-f*ck!

[270 lb man grabs 93 lb reality whore: shit hits proverbial fan]

You mother f*cker! I'm calling the po' po'....you see that? Shawne Merriman choked me!

[Shawne Merriman looks to Providence]

You see that? Shawne Merriman choked me and he's forcing me to stay here.
[Tila T thinks about puking]

[SM, looking skyward, mouths "Why God?"....ponders $$$ lost as future FA]

The point:
...... nobody knows what happened except those involved and since they were all partying at 3:30 AM, who really knows?

I'm amazed at how quickly people have rushed to judgement on this whole thing. Doesn't anyone remember Ben Roethlisberger being accused of rape and then word leaking out that the 'victim' had bragged about how she got with Big Ben. So let's not start speculating on Commissioner Goodell's judgement or begin burning your #56 jerseys. Nation...chill the 'F' out.

I don't think domestic violence is funny in any way but it just wouldn't surprise me, since alcohol was involved, if the whole incident is one that has been blown out of proportion. Preliminary reports seem to indicate that Tila Tequila was really drunk and tried to leave the house. Doesn't it make sense that if SM is dating her he would stop her from attempting to drive? Of course I could be entirely wrong....

In which case: praise be to General Manager AJ Smith for drafting Larry English.

Editor's Note:
The pictures chosen for this piece were not intended to show, in any way, that Tila Tequilla is an attention whore.