Mowing Orlando Hudson's Lawn . . . for charity

This evening, Padres MLB beat writer Corey Brock, offered a tweet with a couple of predictions for the team in 2012. He also asked fans to boldly predict the 2012 Padres season, an irresistible offer. I proffered the following:

O-Dog holds a contest to mow his lawn. Proceeds benefit his Autism Charity. Simultaneously alienates and ingratiates fans. 

Pretend this prediction is awesome for a brief moment [and it is]. Now ask me why it is so awesome [thank you]. Because it could actually work . . .


Last season Orlando Hudson tried to defend the beleaguered Bad Hawpe by ripping into fans who never made it out of the high school ranks. He tossed a ball to fans in the stands with less than two outs and then had the nerve to laugh about it with the media after the loss. The trifecta was completed when the Orlando Hudson twitter account suggested to critical fans that they were only good enough to mow his lawn. Many of us, to say the least, were irked by the presence of Orlando Hudson last season.

There is no denying that Orlando Hudson can be a dick. But there is also no repudiating the man's philanthropy, specifically his work on behalf of autistic children. Orlando Hudson is an admirable dick if nothing else.

Why not merge Orlando's miserable on-field persona with his off-field kindness, in the form of a contest? Here's how I see it playing out . . .

We have a blind auction. People submit non-refundable bids to mow Orlando Hudson's lawn. The high bid wins, receiving the splendor that accompanies a hard day's yard-work all beneath the shaded umbrella of a charitable cause.

Do those who lost out on the bidding war get anything? Of course there's a consolation prize!

All losing bids are donated to Orlando Hudson's charity and each junior philanthropist shall play an interactive role in the day's events. They get to go to Orlando Hudson's house and watch the winning bidder mow the O-Dog's lawn. While the bidders who couldn't cut it with a more substantial financial contribution watch from the driveway, O-Dog will throw baseballs to them, playfully mocking his on-field blunder in 2011.

This is a win-win. 

Orlando Hudson gets donations from every fan who submits a bid, all of which are donated to his C.A.T.C.H. foundation. We all get to laugh at one another, maybe see O-Dog slap the guy on the rear as he turns a corner while mowing the lawn. And most importantly I get to be right about a prediction for the 2012 season.

This is not set in stone. Feel free to add some elements to what will no doubt become a bidding war.