Part 2: Andrew Cashner and A Trip In The Way-Back Machine

Your dis-ease has returned and you can no longer bear another minute in a period with such darkness. It is now official; February 24th, 2009 is dead to you and you want out. Fortunately I can help.

I shall whisk you away from the flotsam and jetsam of early aught-nine and deposit you in the year 2010. The date is February 23rd.

Most of the nation is consumed with the release of Nurse Jackie: Season 1 on Blue Ray and the Groove Armada's newest album, but not you . . .


Baseball America has just published their 2010 Prospect Handbook. You liked what Jim Callis had to say in 2009 but your senses are slowly returning and you know that Prospects rarely remain static. They're either growing or dying. Your curiosity has gotten the better of you.

Andrew Cashner, as of February 23rd, 2010, is no longer the third rated prospect in the Cubs system. He has plummeted to . . . 4th.

At first you believe this to be a net loss for the prospect but then you see who has hopped in front of him. There's the youngster, Starlin Castro, who has vaulted to 1st and a ridiculously good looking outfielder out of Cal-Berkeley named Brett Jackson who has assumed the 2nd spot on the list*.

*Former #1 Josh Vitters is now the 3rd rated prospect in the Cubs system.

You know their names as they are familiar in a time we refer to as the present. Castro is the Cubs starting shortstop and Jackson is the guy who every mope on the street clamors for when trades concerning Chicago are discussed. You think about it and determine that perhaps this particular slot for Cashner is not so bad. But you need more . . .

It's a calendar year later. What doe Jim Callis have to say on this go-around? You hear more of the same. Cashner's TCU lineage,  a signing bonus, his pitcher's frame, and his proclivity for cooking his own unique style of Texas BBQ*, all make for repeat reading material in 2010 as well.

*The Way-Back machine often messes with interpretations of data. This is likely a false assumption based on Cashner's alma mater.

It is then that Callis starts working your mind, putting on the hard sell. He writes:

With his frame and power stuff, Cashner is reminiscent of Kerry Wood. His fastball sits at 92-95 mph and touches 98 when he starts, and he has operated in the upper 90s as a reliever.

You are so excited by this comparison that you temporarily forget about the eventual injury patterns that emerge with Wood. The Wood comparison also derails you to the point where you can't even make sense of the words that follow:

His delivery is sound but not fluid, and he often battles command

You only read the positives out of the scouting buzz-words and you continue on your search for items that will help you reconcile why the Padres traded away Anthony Rizzo:

Whether he's a frontline starter or a closer, Cashner should be a big part of Chicago's future.

 But it's not Chicago's future. It's San Diego's future! Relief overcomes you. Wasn't 2010 what you were looking for all along?

So you kick up your feet and try to figure out how Jackie will juggle the trials of a nursing career and the tribulations of her own challenging personal life. Life is once again, good.